Can You See the Stars?
Kenny had said, "kid, this is your new place, hope you like it." And that was that.
His new place was at least a little better. Not by much, but it was something. Levi lay staring at the dark, wooden wall. Kenny had gone—somewhere. Levi sighed and shifted, the springs of the old mattress squeaking underneath him. He pulled the blanket a little higher and shivered. His eyes moved to the small window; it was dark. Sometimes Levi wished he could see the stars. His mother had told him once about the stars; beautiful and sparkling white specks, illuminating the night sky.
Mom.
Levi bit his lip and tugged the blanket a little tighter around himself. It had been three days since Kenny had picked him up and brought him here. Three days since he had left mom behind. Levi closed his eyes and shook his head, dark strands of hair brushing against the pillow. No. He shouldn't think about that. He had to be strong, for mom. Mom would be happy that he at least got something to eat now.
The last three days he had spent much time eating. Kenny had given him bread and soup. Levi couldn't remember the last time he had had that. Probably a long time ago. Because when mom got sick, food became more and more scarce. As more time went on, and the weaker mom got, the less food they had. Until, one day, there was nothing left. Not even a breadcrumb. But now, the painful void in his stomach seemed a little less profound.
Yesterday Kenny had said that he needed a haircut. And Levi supposed he did. But he didn't really care. The careful hands who always cut his hair, the soft hands who stroked his head sometimes, were gone. And they wouldn't come back. Ever.
Levi gripped the blanket tightly till his knuckles went white. Now that the void in his stomach seemed to lessen, another had opened up. A hole had formed where his heart should be. It hurt. It hurt more than anything else, and it scared Levi. It made him want to scream. But, he had to be strong. He had to be strong, for mom. Would she be watching him? From high above in the sky?
Levi shifted his gaze again to the small window. But no sky was to be seen. No sparkling stars. No mom.
The window blurred.
No! And he roughly wiped with a fist at his eyes. But more tears came, soaking the pillow underneath his cheek, and he pushed his face into it, biting his lips hard. But it didn't matter, his sobs grew louder. He just simply couldn't stop.
Levi didn't know how long he lay there, trying to stifle his crying into his pillow until suddenly the front door opened and fell shut. He grew quiet, body going rigid.
Footsteps lead his way and came to a halt.
His heart beat loudly in his chest, and he lay there, waiting.
A rough voice sounded from somewhere behind him. "Oi, kid. What are you doing there bawling into your pillow."
Levi didn't react, holding his breath, trying to make no sound, trying not to move.
Behind him, Kenny breathed out a sigh, and suddenly the mattress dipped.
"Listen, kid, I'm no good at this sort of thing. Comforting others, parenting; it's shit I do not know anything about." A pause and Kenny shifted. "But, I suppose you can cry tonight."
Levi's breath hitched again painfully in his chest.
There was no warm hand on his back. There were no whispered comforting words.
But Kenny sat there with him, for a long time.
And at least, that was something.
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