My Lady Blue

by Sparkle731

This Story was written in response to a comment on the love of me and thee yahoo group about the lack of stories concerning Starsky’s relationship with Helen. So this is my version of how that relationship may have started and ended.

MY LADY BLUE

This Story was written in response to a comment on the love of me and thee yahoo group about the lack of stories concerning Starsky's relationship with Helen. So this is my version of how that relationship may have started and ended.

Beta read by ProvencePuss

CHAPTER ONE

David Starsky was sitting at his desk in the Detective Squad room waiting for his partner, Ken Hutchinson, who was at the D.A.'s office following up on one of their current cases. It had been a long day and all he wanted to do was go home, order a pizza and watch some TV before going to bed.

"Excuse me," a soft sultry voice said from behind him "Is Captain Dobey in?"

Starsky turned his head and found himself looking into the face of the most beautiful woman he had seen in a long time. Tall and slender, she had long brown hair with golden highlights that curled softly around her face and hazel eyes fringed with thick dark lashes. She was casually dressed in blue jeans and a yellow tank top that showed off her ample assets.

"Uh…he's in a meeting right now." Starsky said with his most winning smile. "I'm Detective Starsky. Dave Starsky. Is there something I can help you with?"

"I just transferred here from the Twenty-Third precinct." She told him with a smile that did funny things to his stomach. "I'm Detective Davidson. Helen Davidson."

"Welcome aboard, Detective Davidson." Starsky told her with his patented 1000 watt grin.

"Thank you, Detective Starsky." She replied with an answering grin. "Do you have any idea how long Captain Dobey will be in his meeting?"

"No clue. How about I buy you some coffee while you're waiting?" Starsky suggested.

"What's wrong with the coffee over there?" she asked, nodding at the coffeepot sitting on a stand in the corner.

"Take my word for it," Starsky said, rising to his feet and putting his hand on her elbow to gently coax her from the room. "You don't wanna drink that unless you have a cast iron stomach."

"I guess I can't argue with that." She said, allowing him to lead her out into the hallway. Starsky strolled along beside her, pausing to punch the button for the elevator. The doors slid open and they stepped inside. Starsky found himself stealing glances at the woman by his side as the elevator started to descend to the basement cafeteria.

Starsky and Hutch both had a reputation in the department for having more than their fair share of girlfriends. As two handsome eligible bachelors, neither one of them was in any particular hurry to settle down. They were having too much fun playing the field. Someday, Starsky hoped to settle down and start a family, just not anytime soon. He had yet to meet that special lady that could tame his wondering ways.

"Are you from Bay City?" he asked Helen as the doors slid open and they stepped out of the elevator.

"Born and raised here." She said "How about you?"

"I've lived here since I was thirteen." Starsky told her. "Originally, I'm from New York."

"I thought I heard a bit of an accent there." Helen said with a warm, easy smile. "So, Detective Starsky…won't your girlfriend object to you buying another woman coffee?"

"No girlfriend." Starsky told her with a huge grin "At least not at the moment." He looked at Helen with a trace of humor in his eyes. "How about you? Any jealous boyfriends lurking around that I should know about?"

"Nope."

"Good. Then maybe you'll have dinner with me tomorrow night?" Starsky suggested.

"Maybe," she said in a teasing tone. "Ask me again tomorrow after I finish my orientation."

"Count on it." Starsky said in a pleased tone as they entered the cafeteria. They both ordered coffee. Starsky also ordered a side order of french fries while Helen got a piece of cherry pie. Starsky chose a secluded table in the corner of the room where they could enjoy their mid-afternoon snack and talk in private. This was one lady he wanted to get to know better.

Although Starsky had dated a few other policewomen in the past, none of them had lasted more than a few dates. But, none of them had ever held the same rank he did. Most of them had been file clerks or they had worked in either Juvie or Vice. Dating another homicide detective should keep their relationship both interesting and challenging.

In some ways it was easier to date a fellow officer. They knew all about the hectic work schedules and the long hours. They understood if a date had to be canceled on short notice or if Starsky had to leave in the middle of a movie because he got called in on a case. They accepted that as normal because they were experiencing the same problems themselves in their personal relationships.

They spent almost an hour, talking and getting to know each other better. When they finished eating, they returned to the squad room. Captain Dobey was out of his meeting so Helen went into his office to speak to him, while Starsky sat down at his desk across from Hutch, who was looking at him with a questioning expression on his face.

"Making new friends, Starsk?" he asked in a teasing voice.

"Her name is Helen and she just transferred here from the Twenty-Third precinct." Starsky informed him. "And I saw her first so don't go getting any ideas."

"Don't worry, pal. I won't try to horn in on your action." Hutch assured him with a grin. The two men weren't just partners on the job, they were also best friends. They were both highly competitive with each other and had frequently dated the same woman in the past. But their taste in women varied dramatically. While Hutch preferred tall blondes and casual affairs, Starsky usually preferred brunettes and relationships that lasted more than a couple of weeks. Even though he'd had his fair share of one night stands, that wasn't really Starsky's preference when it came to dating.

"So she's going to be working on the squad?" Hutch asked in an amused voice. "Don't you think that might complicate things?"

"Why should that make a difference?" Starsky asked in a puzzled voice.

"I'm just not sure it's such a good idea to date a woman you could end up working with on a case in the future. Could make it hard to stay objective."

"Hey, I'm just taking her out to dinner tomorrow night. We're not moving in together." Starsky said pointedly, a slightly defensive tone creeping into his voice.

Okay, okay." Hutch said with a laugh, throwing up his hands in a gesture of defeat. "I'll shut up."

They finished up some of their overdue reports and then left for the day. Hutch declined Starsky's offer to join him for pizza, deciding to go home and turn in early. Starsky dropped Hutch off at his Venice Place apartment and then drove on to his own place. He ordered his pizza and settled down in front of the TV but he couldn't concentrate on the screen, his thoughts were pre-occupied with the female detective he'd met earlier that day.

Even though he had just met her, he already felt a connection with her that he seldom felt with his other girlfriends, at least until he had gotten to know them better. She was warm, friendly and easy to get along with. He had already discovered that they had several things in common, including a mutual appreciation for junk food and horror movies. She was also a city girl who liked going to the beach and going to the disco. Starsky went to bed already looking forward to his date with Helen the next evening.

CHAPTER TWO

Starsky listened to Helen talk with a soft smile on his face. He loved her voice. He could sit there and listen to her all night. He had picked her up at seven and they had decided to go to a quiet out of the way Italian restaurant that Starsky liked. And for once, his attention was focused solely on his date instead of his food. He loved the way the light reflected in her eyes, making them sparkle. He had a feeling that this relationship could be the one he'd been searching for since he was sixteen.

"So why did you become a cop, Dave?" Helen asked, smiling at her curly hair companion. Her thoughts were momentarily distracted as she wondered what it would feel like to run her fingers through those curls.

"My pop was a cop." Starsky explained. "I guess I come by it natural."

"In New York or out here?"

"In New York." Starsky said with a trace of sadness in his voice that Helen immediately picked up on.

"Is he still a cop?"

Starsky shook his head. "He was gunned down in front of our house when I was twelve."

"I'm sorry. That must have been terrible."

"Yeah, it was tough. I got a little wild after that and started hanging out with the wrong crowd, so that's when my mom sent me out here to live with my Aunt and my Uncle."

"That couldn't have been easy…living so far away from your mom after losing your dad like that." Helen said compassionately.

"My mom did what she had to do. I turned out okay." Starsky said, deftly avoiding the details. He seldom talked about that time in his life. It still hurt sometimes. He'd been an angry, confused adolescent hell bent for trouble. Being sent so far away from the only home he had ever known had only made his problems worse for a while. But, he had straightened out, gone into the Army, served in Viet Nam, and then came home to Bay City where he had joined the Police Academy as soon as there was an opening. That was where he had met Hutch and their friendship had begun.

He had worked the streets in uniform for three years, taking his sergeant's exam as soon as he could and making detective in less than four years. Hutch had been promoted to Detective a few months after he was and transferred to Metro, where the two of them had become partners. That had been almost six years ago and in that time, they had made quite a name for themselves in the department. Their arrest record was the best in the city and their partnership was one of the tightest.

"Why did you become a cop?" he asked Helen, changing the subject from himself and back to her. He wanted to know all there was to know about Helen.

"I always liked helping people. I thought about becoming a social worker but I thought I could do a better job as a cop. It just seemed like I could do more good that way."

"Is that why you went into homicide instead of Vice or Juvie?"

"I figured there were already enough women working in Vice and Juvie. There weren't that many working homicide. I figured I should help even things out."

"Hey, I'm all for women's lib." Starsky said with a grin.

"Really? From the way some of the other women around headquarters talk, I figured you'd wanna keep your woman barefoot and pregnant." Helen chided with a teasing smile.

"Me?" Starsky said, doing his best to look innocent. "Pregnant maybe but never barefoot."

Helen laughed. "I certainly hope you plan on putting a ring on my finger before you get me pregnant."

"Of course." Starsky told her with a grin. "Wouldn't be right otherwise."

"Well, I hope you don't mind if we get to know each other a little bit better first before we start making babies."

"I don't mind at all. That's exactly what I had in mind." Starsky said with a laugh, appreciating her wit and her charm. "Do you wanna get out of here?"

"That depends. What did you have in mind?" she asked, arching a perfectly curved eyebrow at him.

"Dancing?" he suggested. "I know a great place not far from here."

"I bet you do." Helen said with a giggle "Let's go."

The both stood up. Starsky pulled some bills from his pocket and tossed it on the table to cover their check and the tip. Slipping his arm around Helen's slender waist, he led her out of the restaurant and around the side of the building to the parking lot.

Hi car was parked near the front of the lot. It was a distinctive car that would be hard to miss. The candy apple red paint gleamed brightly under the glow of the streetlights. The wide white racing stripe trimmed in black made a perfect contrast to the custom paint job. The car was Starsky's pride and joy. It was the first really nice car he had ever owned and he spent hours pampering it. Hutch teased him about it constantly, affectionately calling it a 'striped tomato'. Helen had loved it the minute she saw it, another thing they had in common.

Helen slid over next to him as they settled into the front seat, letting one hand casually drop to his denim covered thigh where it rested, sending a thrill of pleasure into his groin. Things were moving fast but then sometimes fast was good. But Starsky didn't want Helen to get the wrong idea about him. She'd already heard enough of the squad room gossip about him and Hutch and their numerous female conquests. This was one relationship he wanted to last past the initial stages.

The disco was smoky and crowded with couples and singles having a good time. They found a table and ordered drinks, both of them ordering beers. That was another thing he really liked about Helen. She was laid back and down to earth. What you saw was what you got with Helen. She didn't play games or pretend to be something that she wasn't. She was direct and outspoken, but then so was Starsky so they complimented each other perfectly.

There was very little of that initial awkwardness that you usually feel with someone new. Starsky felt as if he had known her forever even though they had just met. His mind was already linking them together as a couple and this was only their first date. It was somewhat unnerving just how compatible and comfortable they were with each other already.

They danced a couple of fast dances together, matching each other move for move, and then the music changed to a slow, sultry number. Helen moved into his arms and cuddled up against him. It was if she belonged there. Starsky nestled his face against her hair, smelling the subtle scent of her shampoo. The strands felt like spun silk against his cheek. For a moment, his mind pictured the image of that hair spread out against his pillow. They moved together in a slow easy motion, swaying in time with the music. As far as Starsky was concerned, the dance ended much too soon.

After a few more dances, Starsky realized it was getting late and they both had to get up early in the morning. He hated to see the evening end. He thought about inviting Helen back to his apartment but decided against it. He didn't want to come off as being too forward. He drove back to Helen's apartment and walked her to the door. Turning to him with a warm smile, Helen wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in for a good night kiss which he gave her willingly. A fire ignited between them both, making them hungry for more. Finally, Starsky was the first one to pull away.

"I'd better go before I forget I'm a gentleman." he whispered.

"I wouldn't mind so much if you did." Helen whispered back with a grin. She gave him another quick kiss and then unlocked her door.

"Can I see you again tonight?" Starsky asked, reluctant to let her go so easily.

"Okay. Same time?"

"Works for me. See you tomorrow at work."

"You mean today at work, don't you?"

"Yeah, guess I do."

With one last wistful look, Starsky turned and walked back to his car with more of a bounce than usual to his step. He sat behind the wheel for a minute before turning on the ignition. The evening had been a success and he had tomorrow night, correction, tonight to look forward to. Grinning happily, he drove home to get some much needed sleep.

CHAPTER THREE

Hutch watched his unusually quiet partner from the corner of his eye. Starsky had been seeing Helen for a little over two weeks and it was obvious that he had fallen for her and fallen hard. Hutch was happy for him but he still had some reservations about his partner's relationship with the pretty female detective. They seemed perfect for each other but Hutch was afraid that sooner or later, their personalities would clash over the job.

In some ways, Starsky was a traditionalist when it came to his views on women and their role in a relationship. He was fiercely protective of anyone he cared about and when he finally settled down, he expected the woman that he married to be a conservative and traditional wife. That was where Hutch was afraid the clash would come into play between him and Helen if their relationship got that far. From what Hutch had seen, Helen was just as passionate about the job as Starsky was and wouldn't be willing to give it up to be any man's wife. She'd worked to hard make her way through the ranks to become a homicide detective, she wouldn't be satisfied working in vice or behind a desk, not after she'd had a taste of the streets.

Being a cop got into your blood, almost like an addition. And working the streets was just as addictive. You got hooked on the excitement of working the case, the thrill of the chase and the adrenaline rush that kept you flying for hours afterwards. But, working the streets also increased the danger.

For Starsky's sake, Hutch hoped that he was wrong about Helen. Starsky had earned the right to be happy. He had already suffered so many disappointments and tragedies in his life. He may present himself to others a cocky, self assured, streetwise cop but he also had a sensitive, vulnerable side that very few people outside of his immediate family and Hutch had ever seen.

While Hutch had the advantages of a wealthy family during his youth, Starsky had never had much in the way of material possessions. He had grown up the hard way and gained his education on the streets and in the jungles of Viet Nam while Hutch had spent three years in College protesting the war. There were a lot of things in his past that Starsky refused to talk about and the war was one of them. He had more than his fair share of emotional scars well hidden beneath his brash, sometimes abrasive, exterior.

"You seeing Helen again tonight?" Hutch asked as Starsky handed him a file on their current case.

"Yeah. We're gonna go see that new movie that just opened. Hey, do you and Karen wanna come with us?"

"Naw, Karen and I decided things weren't working out."

"I'm sorry. I thought things were going good for you two."

"They were in the bedroom but that's about the only place we could get along." He eyed his partner closely. "It looks like things are going great for you and Helen."

"They are." Starsky told him with a huge grin. "In and out of the bedroom." His eyes sparkled and the expression on his face reminded Hutch of a little kid sharing a secret.

"I'll take your word for it, Gordo." Hutch said, falling into the easy back and forth banter that they shared. "I don't need to hear all the details."

"I wasn't going to tell you any." Starsky shot back.

"Well, we better get these reports done so you can get out of here. You don't wanna keep Helen waiting." Hutch turned his attention to the file he was holding. As an afterthought, he added, "Hey, who did Dobey finally partner Helen with?"

"Huh?" Starsky said, distracted by the report he was trying to write. "Oh, he put her with Jimmy Collins."

"He's a good man. He'll show her the ropes and make sure nothing happens to her." Jimmy Collins was one of the oldest men on the squad. In his mid-fifties, he was a father figure to the younger officers. He was often partnered with the newer, less experienced; detectives until they got their feet wet and learned how to work the streets.

"Yeah, I guess." Starsky said in a voice that didn't sound so sure.

"Something wrong, Starsk?"

"No…it's just…I don't know…I worry about Helen being out there on the streets every day." Starsky admitted reluctantly.

"Hey, buddy, she's a cop too. Remember? And a damn good one or she wouldn't have made it this far." Hutch reminded him.

"I know." Starsky said with a heavy sigh. "I just don't want her to get hurt."

"Hey, none of us want to get hurt out there but it goes with the badge. You know that. Have you talked to Helen about how you feel?"

"No. I don't wanna make her feel like I'm trying to pressure her or nothing." Starsky admitted. He smiled thinly. "Hey, I'll deal with it. It's just gonna take some getting used to, that's all."

Hutch nodded and fell silent. For his sake, he hoped that Starsky could deal with it. As he feared, conflicts over the job could be the wedge that came between them if Starsky let it. They finished their reports in silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts and then quit for the day.

That evening, Helen was excited about a case she and Jimmy had been assigned. They were investigating the brutal murder of a young mother with two small children. Starsky listened to her enthusiastic report on the case. He couldn't help smiling, remembering when he and Hutch were that enthusiastic about the job. But, after working the inner city for almost five years, the glow had worn off and now it was just like any other job. Oh, there were still cases that could get to Starsky, especially the ones that involved kids, but he had learned to temper his emotions when he was working a case. He wasn't always successful but he tried his best.

Having Hutch to talk to helped a lot. He could yell and throw things and vent his frustrations and know that Hutch understood what he was going through. That was the best thing about their partnership and their friendship. They balanced each other out perfectly. While Starsky could be hot-headed and fly off the handle, Hutch could be aloof and distant, as cold as ice. Some people didn't care for Hutch, considering him arrogant and stuck up. But, just like Hutch knew everything there was to know about Starsky and Starsky knew all of Hutch's weaknesses and his strengths.

After a quiet dinner that Helen had prepared herself, they retired to Starsky's bedroom where they made love most of the night. The movie would have to wait for another night. With all of his sexual partners, Starsky was a gentle and considerate lover, putting their needs and their pleasure before his own. They fell asleep, cradled in each other's arms, sleeping peacefully until morning.

CHAPTER FOUR

Starsky leaned back on his forearms and smiled down at Helen who was lying on the sand with her head in his lap. They had just finished a picnic on a secluded section of beach not far from Starsky's apartment. They had been dating for exactly two months and Starsky had never been happier in his life. He had fallen deeply in love with the lively spirited woman lying before him.

Reaching down, he gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face and whispered in a husky voice, "I love you." He swallowed hard. It was the first time he had said those words to her, at least aloud.

She looked at him, a mildly surprised expression on her face, and then she smiled and whispered back, "I love you too, Dave." He leaned down so that they could share a tender kiss.

"So what are we gonna do about that?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

"I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens next." She said, "There's no need to rush things. I'm not planning on going anywhere."

"Neither am I." He said, wrapping a strand of hair around his finger playfully.

"I just don't want to rush into anything, ya know?" Helen said, feeling the need to explain herself. "We've only been seeing each other for two months."

"Does that mean if I ask you to move in with me, you'll say no?" Starsky asked, only half teasing.

"I think it's a little too soon for that. Don't you?" she asked in a serious voice that disrupted the mood.

"I guess you're right." He said with a soft sigh. "Helen, I've never felt like this about anybody else before." He felt self-conscious admitting something so personal but he had to be honest with her about his feelings.

"Neither have I," she admitted "But, I think we still need our own space for awhile." She gently ran her fingertips down his cheek to soften the sting of her words. "I wanna make sure we're doing the right thing before one of us, or both of us, gets hurt."

"Okay." Starsky said. If that was the way she wanted it, then that's the way he would play it. Even if he didn't exactly agree with her logic. "So, are you saying that if the time was right, you wouldn't object to a husband and a houseful of kids?"

"That depends on the husband." She teased him gently. "And just how many kids do you mean by houseful?"

"At least four. Two boys and two girls." Starsky said in a wistful voice. "And they should be close together so they can grow up together." He thought about himself and Nicky. The five years difference in their ages had made it difficult when Starsky was in his pre-teens and Nicky was still a pesky seven year old kid. He always seemed to be in the way. And he had always missed not having more siblings, especially a sister.

"You don't want much, do ya?" Helen said with a chuckle.

"Just you to be there to share it with me." He told her seriously. "Why? Is that too many kids to suit you?"

"I guess I never really thought that much about it. I mean, I always figured I'd have at least a couple of kids someday…but not until I was older and ready to devote more time to a family than to my career."

"Yeah, I guess you can't have it both ways." Starsky said thoughtfully, pondering her words carefully. "But, if you got married and had a family, wouldn't that be more important than your career?"

"Would it to you?" she shot back "Would you be willing to cut back on your hours at work to spend more time with your family?"

"I'd find a way to make it work. My pop did okay."

"And your father was a uniformed officer walking a beat. He wasn't a homicide detective working the inner city." Helen pointed out. She wiggled out of his lap and sat up, pulling her knees up against her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. "I love my job. I love what I do. I'm not ready to give any of it up right now." She looked at him with a hint of sadness on her beautiful features. "Not even for you."

"I wouldn't expect you to." Starsky said defensively.

"Come on, Dave, I know you. Yes, you would." She said. "You're just like all the other men on the force. If we got married and had a kid, you'd expect your wife to stay at home and raise the baby, not out working the streets the way we do."

"I don't see what's so wrong with that…" he said a hint of irritation creeping into his tone. He didn't like the way this conversation was headed. "A mother's supposed to be there for her kids, to take care of them."

"The way your mother did?" Helen said, a bit more sharply than she intended. She regretted the words the minute she said them when she saw the anger that flashed in those sapphire eyes. She knew that the subject of his mother sending him away at such an early age to live halfway across the country with an Aunt and an Uncle he barely knew was a touchy subject with the brunet.

"It's getting late." Starsky said shortly, shoving himself to his feet and brushing the sand from his jeans. "I'd better get you home."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." She said apologetically. She didn't want to fight, she just wanted him to understand how she felt about the subject they had been discussing.

"Maybe you did, maybe you didn't." he said, still feeling hurt by her remark about his mother. "Like you said earlier, there's no need to rush things. Right?"

"And there's no need to be so sensitive either!" she snapped, angry at herself for her thoughtless comment and angry at him for being so defensive about it.

"Let's go." Starsky said in a deceptively calm voice "Before one of us says something we're both going to regret."

They walked back to the Torino in silence and climbed into the front seat. Starsky drove Helen back to her apartment and walked her to the door, still a gentleman even if he was upset with her.

"Are we still on for tomorrow night?" he asked as she dug her keys out of her shoulder bag.

"Unless you've changed your mind." She said, avoiding his eyes as she inserted the key in the lock. "Why don't you meet me in the cafeteria at lunchtime if you can?"

"I'll try but Hutch and I have to testify in the Edwards case tomorrow. We could be tired up in court all day." He told her.

"Whatever. If you don't show up I'll know you couldn't get away." She slipped into her apartment and closed the door, without bothering to invite him in.

With a dejected slump to his shoulders, Starsky walked back to his car. How had a perfect day with the woman he loved turned out so badly? It was the first real disagreement they'd had and he still wasn't sure what had caused it, other than a difference in opinion about what they wanted in their future. Starsky would be the first one to admit that he may have over personalized her comment about his mother but what hurt the most was that she knew how he felt about that subject and had deliberately pushed that particular button anyway.

For along time after his mother had sent him to live in Bay City, he had been angry and resentful, feeling abandoned and unloved by his own mother. As he got older, he realized that she had done what she felt was the best thing for him at the time and, in hindsight, she had been right. But it had taken a long time for them to repair the rift that the separation had caused between mother and son. Today, they were closer than ever. Starsky called her faithfully every Friday night at eight p.m. and he made the trip to New York at least once a year to see her, usually staying for at least a week.

By the time he got home, Starsky was blaming himself for their argument. He had brought up the subject of kids too soon. Helen was right. There was no need to rush into anything. Their relationship was still too new and too fragile to get too serious about their future.

CHAPTER FIVE

By the time Starsky picked Helen up for their date the following evening, they had both calmed down and things were going fine between them again until Helen told him about her new assignment. A task force investigating the murders of several campus coeds was looking for volunteers to go undercover at the local college to act as bait for the serial killer. Since Helen fit the profile of the victims, she had been asked to volunteer for the assignment and she had accepted.

"I don't like it." Starsky said firmly when she told him about the case. "It's too dangerous. You could get hurt."

"Don't be silly. I'll have plenty of backup and I'm not going to take any unnecessary chances." She said mildly.

"I still don't want you to do it. You're too new…too inexperienced."

"You can't wrap me up in a blanket and keep me safe all the time." She said in an annoyed voice, her eyes snapping with anger. "This is my job, David, just like it's yours. You need to remember that!"

"How can I forget it? You keep reminding me all the time whenever I try to warn you about something." Starsky said, his own temper flaring.

"Maybe you just need to back off and let me do the job I was trained to do!" she hissed, her temper rising to match his. "I'm just as good a cop as you are…even if I am a woman."

"Don't throw that women's lib crap at me! This has nothing to do with you being a woman and you know it!" Starsky growled. "It has to do with you not having enough experience for this kind of assignment!"

"And how the hell am I supposed to get the experience if I don't take this assignment?" she flared back. "You can't tell me what to do! I don't have to answer to you!"

"No, you don't." Starsky said coldly. He pushed himself to his feet and tossed some money on the table to pay for their meal. "Do what you want. You're going to anyway."

"David, I don't want to fight with you about this. Just take me home. Okay?"

"Yeah, I lost my appetite anyway."

Starsky drove her back to her apartment in silence and this time he didn't walk her to her door. He watched until she disappeared safely inside, then pulled away from the curb, the rear tires squealing in protest. He was upset over their argument and needed to talk to someone about it, so he drove to Hutch's apartment.

The big blond was tending to his plants when Starsky used his key to let himself into the apartment.

"Hey," Hutch said, "I thought you had a date with Helen."

"So did I." Starsky grumbled as he helped himself to a cold beer from the refrigerator. "We had a fight."

"Again? What about this time?"

"Her new assignment. She volunteered to go undercover to help catch that crazy that's being killing those college coeds."

"And you don't want her to do it. Right?"

"She's not ready." Starsky declared, slumping down on the sofa and taking a long swallow of his beer. "She's too inexperienced. There are too many things that could go wrong."

"Did you tell her that?" Hutch asked mildly, helping himself to a beer and sitting down in the chair facing his friend and partner.

"Yeah…that's when she really got pissed."

"Well, you have to admit, Starsk, tact is not exactly your strong suit." Hutch pointed out with a understanding smile.

"Hey, she made it sound like I was talking down to her because she was a woman." Starsky said in a defensive voice. "I'm not a chauvinist. Am I?"

"Maybe just a little…sometimes." Hutch said quietly.

"It seems like all we do lately is fight. First about a family and kids and now about the job. When's it gonna stop?"

"I don't know what to tell ya, Starsk. You both have a stubborn streak and pretty strong ideas about what you want."

"Yeah, but I'm willing to compromise. Why can't she?"

"Maybe the job means too much to her to compromise." Hutch suggested. "For anyone, even you."

"But what if she gets hurt?"

"That's a risk she has to take. You know that."

"Yeah, I know…but I still don't think she's ready for this type of case."

"You may be right but it's not your choice, buddy. It sounds like Helen has already made up her mind and you're not going to change it."

CHAPTER SIX

Starsky pushed his way through the crowd of uniformed officers to get to Helen's side. She was sitting on the back tailgate of the ambulance while a paramedic examined the bruises on her face and the ligature marks around her neck. They had caught the man who had been killing the campus co-eds but Helen had almost been killed in the process. Somehow, her backup had lost sight of her and only the sound of her screams had given them her location to get to her in time to save her life.

"Baby, are you okay?" he asked as he reached her side, sitting down beside her and gently putting his arm around her shoulders. He was angry but he was also scared. It had been close, much too close.

"I'm fine." Helen reassured him with a faint attempt at a smile. "We got him."

"Yeah, you got him." Starsky said sourly. "And you almost got yourself killed in the process."

"I told you I'm fine." She said, tilting her chin defiantly. Starsky had seen that look in her eyes before and wisely decided to back off.

"We'll talk about it later." He said

"No," Helen said, "We won't. It is over. There's nothing to talk about." There was a tone in her voice that Starsky didn't care for. A finality that made his heart twist inside his chest.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"If you don't mind. I just wanna take a hot shower and go to bed."

"Is it okay?" Starsky asked the paramedic "Can I take her home?"

"Yes. Just make sure she gets some sleep and keeps those wounds clean."

He helped her up and they walked back to where he'd parked the Torino. He helped her settle comfortably into the front seat and then he slid under the wheel. The engine roared to life as he pulled into the street.

He heard Helen sigh softly but he kept his eyes on the road, concentrating on his driving. Finally, after several minutes of heavy silence, she said,

"Dave, this isn't working out. I love you but I think it's best if we don't see each other anymore."

"Why not?" Starsky asked in a stunned voice. "Because of what happened back there?" Because I didn't want you to take this assignment in the first place?"

"That's part of it." A tear ran down her cheek as she stared out the windshield, struggling to find the words to tell him what she had to say. "Dave, you're a great guy but I can't be the things you want me to be."

"I don't want you to be anybody but who you are!" he insisted

"Yes, you do. You want me to be the kind of woman that wants to settle down and have a home and a family. A woman who puts her husband and children first. I can't be that woman. That's not who I am." She sighed heavily. "You want a woman who isn't a cop too…or least not a homicide detective like you."

"Is that what this is all about? Because we both work homicide?"

"No, not entirely. It's about you not thinking I can handle the job as well as you can. It's about you wanting to protect me and keep me safe, to tell me which assignments I can take and which ones I can't."

"I love you. I don't want to see you get hurt!" Starsky declared, trying hard to understand her position.'

"You can't protect me all the time, Dave. I'm a cop, just like you and I intend to stay that way!"

"Please…don't do this to us."

"I'm sorry, David. It's over. It's better this way, for both us before we both get hurt more than we already have." They had arrived at her apartment just as she finished speaking. Before Starsky could reply, she was out of the car and walking up to her building. Starsky watched her disappear into her apartment without a backward glance, struggling to control the myriad of emotions raging within him. Anger, regret, sorrow, despair and a deep inconsolable pain, a loss too deep to fathom.

Blinded by the tears that sprang to his eyes, he pulled away from the curb and drove towards his own apartment. Just like that, it was over. He'd lost yet another woman that he had cared about deeply. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't his relationships work out the way he wanted them too? Would he ever find that one special lady to make his life complete?

EPILOGUE

It had taken him a long time to get over losing Helen but Hutch had been there to help him through the worst of it. He had felt Starsky's pain as if it were his own. They had talked for hours about what had went wrong, then they had gotten drunk together to ease the pain. Starsky returned to the casual affairs and one night stands to avoid any unnecessary commitments. Then he met another special lady that turned his world upside down. This time Hutch was happy for him because he knew that Starsky had finally found his true soul-mate. He knew that Starsky and Terri were meant for each other. What could possibly go wrong?

THE END