Authors Note: So, I wrote this for my best friend for her birthday last year and was able to finish it a few weeks okay. lol sorry Maggie! But this sorry contain lemon, language, and comedy. Its something you'll like and laugh. It takes place right after the end of Deathly Hallow. Enjoy and leave a comment of what you think~!
Who Wouldn't Get Drunk In Hogwarts
After the defeat of the Dark Lord there was a celebration in the Great Hall once the Ministry had collected the Death Eaters and left to spread the news of the winning by the Chosen One. When the news spread a few people came to join the party making the room too pack, but people keep squeezing their way in. Ron was carrying three cups as he try to get past people without spilling his drinks and trying to find Harry and Hermione. He came to a stop when he saw Madam Rosmerta, owner of the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade, and stared, trance, till he got bump from behind. He tries to get his balanced fast and turned to see who it was before he yelled.
"Oh, Luna. You got to be careful." Ron said as he saw Luna turning to him looking apologetic.
"Sorry. It's very pack." she said as she was moving aside so someone can get past them.
"Hey, would you like a drink?" He asked, offering his cup.
"Oh, no, thank you. Someone gave me this punch and I was going to get more." she said as she turn and left.
Ron watched her leave, feeling concern that she accepts a drink from a stranger. "But they're not giving punch…" he mumbled as he slowly turned and left till he finally found his friends.
"Oh my god, you took forever!" Hermione said as she wrapped her arms around Ron.
"Well, its pack." he said, trying to talk over the loud noise that's around them.
"Have a drink Ronnie!" Hermione said grabbing the cup from Ron's hand and drank it.
Ron smiled as he took a sip from his cup. "I think your drunk." he stated the obvious fact.
"No, I'm not. You're drunk!" she said as she throw her empty cup aside, which for sure it hit someone.
Ron laughed than looked around where they are. "I thought Harry was here?" he asked.
Hermione cupped Ron's face and bring his attention back to her. "I don't care." she said as she kisses him deeply.
Ron kissed her back and was locked for a few minutes until someone bumped into them. "Hey!" he said angry that he got interrupted.
"Sorry mate. Didn't mean to break up your smooching." George said smiling at his brother. "Want a drink? It's my special punch."
Ron raised his cup, but Hermione grabbed two. "Hey, did you give Luna Lovegood one of your punches?" he asked as he took a sip of his own cup.
George smile grew as he answered, "We're beating to see if she can get drunk." he said.
"Who is?" Ron asked, disliking the biting.
"Lee Jordan, Katie Bell, Cho Chang, and a few more." he answered and was backing away from them. "Bye!"
Fred waved as he walked away seeing Ron grabbing the special punch and went back to kissing Hermione than he past finally past Harry a few seconds later.
"I stopped him and nobody believed me." Harry said to a group of first year girls, where he had his arms wrapped around the two girls on both his side. "See, my parents died for me, Sirius Black died for me, Severus Snape died for me, people died for me. Who wouldn't die for me? I mean, I killed the Dark Lord! I know that I can do it!"
"Oh Harry. We knew you would." one of the girls said.
"Of Course you would. Cause I'm Harry Potter!" Harry said than grabbed a cup as a house-elf past them and took a deep gulp from it. "I'm Harry Potter and I'm the Chosen One."
The girls giggled as they moved as close as they already can since they were already push together. "Tell us the story again." one of the girls requested.
Harry shook his head as he finished his cup. "No… No, no, it's too long… Okay, it all started when I was a baby. I had just turned one years old. I was a cute baby--Oh, hi Professor!" He shouted when he saw Professor McGonagall pass by.
Professor McGonagall waved but didn't turn as she tries to get pass people and break some apart from each other. "Stop! No, more kissing." she said than almost tripped. "Bloody hell? …Was there something in this punch?" she asked herself as she looked down at her cup and hiccupped. "…This is all I've been drinking…."
"Excuse me. Coming throw. The Hexes are trying to set up." a man said passing the teacher who went to refill her cup.
The singer went through the crowd when suddenly the girls started screaming when they saw the band. "Oh, my god the Hexes!" someone shouted. "I love you Hexes!"
"Thank you! Thank you-gah." the singer got stopped by a red head hugging him.
"I love you Hexes! I've gone to every concert! Please marry me!" Ginny said as she tightens her hold on the singer.
"Let go." Hexes, the singer, said trying to push Ginny off and walked quickly away from her.
"Come back my love! We're meant for each other! I need your hair Hexes!" Ginny shouted than ran a way crying when t he singer disappeared. She ran passing several people and push past the Malfoy's.
"Watch it Weasley!" Draco shouted as he was just about to pass his father his cup.
Narcissi Black Malfoy was crying hysterically as she wrapped her arms around her only child. "I thought you were going to die!" she shouted. "My Dracie, I hoped you weren't hurt."
"Mother for bloody sack. Will you let go of me? I'm fine." Draco blushed as he try to move his mother off his shoulder.
"Honey, calm down. Drink some scotch." Lucius Malfoy said giving his wife a silver flask. "It'll make you better."
Draco rolled his eyes as he drank his father's cup, the one that he was suppose to give him. "I'm going to look for Blaise Zabini." He said as he left his father drunken his mother. Draco gulp down the rest of his drink and throw the cup at a second year when she saw Blaise. "There you are. I thought you'll leave this joint." he said as he walked over to him.
"Was, but I saw that they were only serving alcohol so I stayed." he said, smiling. "Even the soda and punch is tapped."
Draco laughed as he nodded, "Yeah, I could taste it from the last cup I had." he said as he looked around the area. "10 Knuts that it'll go wild?"
Blaise rolled his eyes as he said, "I'm not beating that. It's obvious that it would and even Weasley-wonder is going to do it with the mudblood." he finished with a disgusted expression. "Ew."
"I'll bet 200 Gallons that you don't end up kissing someone." George said walking over to the Slytherin's.
Draco smiled at that bet, "Sure. I can get a drunken girl and I'll win it." he said.
"It has to be a boy." George said shaking his head at the mention of girls.
Draco frowns and folded his arm. "I'm not going to do that." he said.
"Then pay up." George said, smiling as he held out his hand for the money.
"I'm not paying anything." he said, angry now.
"I'll triple it!" Blaise said smiling as he starts to collect his Gallons.
"What?" Draco said as his eyes widen at his friend.
George beamed as Blaise started to count the money know than hand it to George. "That's 600 Gallons for you if you kiss a guy."
"600 to us if you don't." he said.
Draco stared at the Weasley boy than walked away from them as he went of grabbing a cup from the house-elf that was passing through. "Bloody bet." he mumbled than saw Professor Sybill Patricia Trelawney knocked out next to Hagrid, who was sitting up in the window stale and had a cauldron as a cup. Hagrid was holding the past out teacher as he explains his story about his half-brother Grawp who is a giant.
"Hagrid get her down!" Professor Madame Irma Pince said as she lean against the wall and closes her eyes. "I need a word with her."
"Are you alright?" Professor Minerva McGonagall asked as she went to her side.
"'You're not Trelawney." Madame Pince, the librarian, said as she pushes McGonagall aside.
"Oh!" She gasped as she bumped into someone that was passing than try to steady herself before she slapped Madame Pince. "Bitch." she said and walked away.
"I just wanted his hair." she cried into Lavenders shoulder. "I got his shirt, his pants, his boxers…"
"I know. I know. Maybe next time." Lavender said as she held her. "I told you to wait till he's asleep."
Ginny continued to cry as Lavender hand Ginny the napkin and blow her nose. "But I want him to love me!" Ginny cried as her friend held her.
"You stupid Weasley! No one will ever love you. Especially for a stalker like you. Dumbass bitch." Pansy Patterson said laughing at her than throw her drink all over Ginny.
Ginny covered her wet face as she stood up and ran away crying while Lavender glared at the Slytherin girl. "You fucking whore." she yelled as she jumped Pansy.
The girls fell to the ground and began to hit each other across the face till Pansy pulled Lavender's long hair than slap her across the face and push her against the wall. Lavender grabbed Pansy's arm and throw her on the table where she crashed into the punch bowl. People around them were cheering for both girls and hooted whenever one of them got punched. They finally stopped when somebody carry them away from each other and swear as they parted.
"Put me down you dart!" Pansy yelled as she panted and wiped her face.
The person carrying her put her down in a safe distance than walked away from her incase she'll attack again. She started to push people out of her wau as she went through till she smiled when she saw Draco at the long table drinking quite quickly. She went over to him were she wrapped her arms around him and purred. Draco jumped at the suddenness and saw who it was before continuing to drink.
"You know, if they didn't bit so high that I would of chosen you." Draco said as he grabbed another cup.
"Oh, the bet? Yeah, I paid 100 gallons." she said, smiling.
Draco spitted from his cup and turned to her. "What?"
She shrugged as she continues to smile. "It's what a fan girl dream, Dracie." she said. "If you like to be richer than you should have sex with Harry in front of us."
Draco put again right when he just sipped it. "NO. BLOODY WAY!"
"800 Gallons you do kiss him." George said coming behind Draco. "In total."
Draco turned to him and folded his arm. "That's going too far."
"No, it's not." Pansy said beaming. "Harry's drunk. The more advantage, the more money you'll get."
Draco glared at them both as he remain silent than said. "You guys are going to be dead after this." he said walking away.
Pansy giggles as she picks up a cup and started drinking when she bump into someone. "Watch it Bitch." She exclaim as she walked away almost tripping someones foot.
Molly Weasley took confused at the young women than smiled as she saw a familiar face. Kingsley hand Molly a cup of punch and rubbed her back for comfort till Molly shook her head and held up a glass full of whiskey.
"Then, my Ginny was fighting that bloody Bellatrix." Molly continued on with her story as she turned to him. "I was like that's my daughter bitch and if she kills one more of my family than you have me to deal with."
"You told her." Kingsley said nodding.
"Yes, I did. That bitch can't fuck with me or I'll beat the shit out of her, even if she dare point a wand at me." she said angrily. "That mother fucking whore can't mess with Molly Weasley."
"You said it." he said, nodding.
Molly took a sip of her drink than turn to him. "Author was worried that I can't handle myself, but I can." she said. "He can't stop a bloody bitch like me."
Kingsley nod, "You're the bitch."
Molly smiled as she nods when suddenly someone bumped into her again and noticed it was the same person.
Pansy walked passed people still stumbling when she saw two people snogging in the corn .
"Get a room." Pansy said, sneering behind them.
"You get a room." Hermione said as she turns to see who it was.
"I would, but I'm waiting on something." she said brushing her hair back. "It's a bore."
"Than do something." Ron said annoyed by the interruption.
Pansy smiled. "Alright." she said as she moved toward them and grabbed Ron's arm to pull him towards her than kissed him deeply.
When they parted Ron looked horrified at her than pulled out a gum from his mouth. "That's not mine." he said.
"I don't want it." Pansy said as she skipped off.
Hermione slapped Ron across the face than attacked his lips were they continue to kiss. Ron throws the hum to his mouth when he took that chance to breathe than continued on until George came over to them. Ron tried his best to ignore his brother but found it hard to be making out while you're older brother stands next to you writing.
"What do you want?" Ron asked feeling annoyed again.
Hermione giggles as she chews on the gum that is in her mouth. "Hi Georgy."
"Hi…so we're having the biggest bet ever and wanna see if you're in." George said as he watches Hermione lean on the wall and had her eyes closed. "Is she drunk?"
Ron grinned as he pulled on Hermione's arm to wake her. "Maybe, but it's awesome." he said. "What bet?"
"Malfoy kissing Potter." he said, very bluntly. "Major money riser. Care to join?"
Ron thought about it for a few debating seconds than shook his head. "I would like to…but I can't." he said.
Hermione lean against Ron with her whole weight on him. "30 Gallons." she mumbled as she held up four fingers.
George wrote it down and smiled, "Alright." he said.
"Want some gum?" Hermione asked taking her gum out of her mouth and show it to George.
George scrawl. "No, thanks." he said.
"Take it." she insisted.
"No…"
"Take it!" she yelled.
"Alright!" George shouted back as he takes the gum from her hand and walked away from them as he mumbled. "Damn…effing bitch."
He looked disgusted at the gum in his hand and saw Luna Lovegood, alone, as she jumped and shaking her head wildly. "Luna!" he called after.
Luna stopped at whatever she was doing and turned to the person that called her name.. "Hello. The raskal were attacking, George." she said.
"…the what?" George asked, confused.
"Raskal. They try to yank your hair, but you need to do some movements to get them away." she said as she starts to shake her hair. "They always come in the winter once a blaskul gave birth to a spacker."
"Um…." George was complete lost at words for once as he stared at her.
"What's that in your hand?" she asked as she now jumped in circles, her hair shaking wildly and her arms waving everywhere.
George was trying his best to not laugh now than turn to his hand. "Uh…it's…its Hermione's--"
"Talperal? Oh, that's rare." she said coming to a stop to look at the gum. "Mind if I keep it? I might never come upon one again."
"What's a talperal? And what's blaskul--wait!" George saw Luna take the gum from his hand.
"Thank you." she said before skipping off were she began to continue jumping and moving her hair side-to-side.
Luna skipped until someone bumped into her and she fell as the gum slid off her hand off to the floor. "No, not talperal!" she said as she saw someone stepped on it.
She went over to grab it and blow at the gum. "I'll clean you." she frowned as she put it in her mouth.
"Luna!"
She turns to see Ginny walking over to her with her eyes bloody red. "Oh, Ginny! The reskal try to destroy my talperal." she said. "There jealous since I can block their attacks--"
Ginny hugged Luna roughly, interrupting her. "Why is the world so cruel." she moan.
"I know. The dernals are immortal and are very evil." Luna said as Ginny cried into her shoulder.
"Hexes ran away from me again when they had a break and now I can't find him." she cried, not hearing anything about Luna's weird statements.
"Hexes? Ph, I think he's an anti-rackal." Luna said as Ginny slowly stop crying. "His hair is very like the ainti-raskal group."
Ginny looked at her confused. "Oh…really…that's nice…" she said.
"But I got the talperal to protect me." she said showing her the gum in her mouth.
"Oh… do you have another talperal-thing….gum…" she asked, and mumbled the last word.
Luna shook her head. "No, George gave it to me. But if you like you can have mine. I think I can take on the demals." she said taking her gum out of her mouth and hand it to Ginny.
"You don't have to…." she said slowly in disgust.
"Maybe it can give you luck for Hexes. I hear the talperal gives luck if you continue to pass it on. Like for example, I don't feel the rackal right now." she said looking around her. "I think it's working… I must tell my father."
"Wait!" Ginny shouted as Luna skips off into the crowd. "Ew, great…"
"Ginny, there you are!" Harry shouted as he walks over to her with two girls tolling behind him. "I've been looking everywhere for you." (lie!)
Ginny turns to Harry and hug him. "Oh, Harry, you can't believe how much I've been trying to show my affection to someone yet he is so blind to see them." she said, referring to Hexes.
Harry brushes her hair back. "It's alright Ginny. I'm sure he sees it clearing and is trying to find the right time to show it back." he tells her as he held her close.
"No…" the girl's cries as they watch.
Ginny smiled. "I just need more luck." she tells herself as she put the gum in her mouth and turns to Harry. "Thank you!"
"You're welcome, babe." he says as he leans to kiss her deeply and pres his lips against her while the girls behind them began to weep.
Harry kiss her more deeply as he wrap his arms around her to pull her close than began to run his hands under her shirt and touch her soft skin. He bit down on her bottom lips tenderly and exchange tongue as he raise his hand until he feels a soft fabric. Harry was just about to pull on Ginny's bra when he felt a hand rub against his thighs and run lower causing him to moan. Harry rub tenderly on Ginny's soft chest as he tries to fight off a moan and feels her hand move to his tenders. He escape a groan and look at Ginny to see how she looked at the moment, but she was simply only standing there when he notice the hand was coming from behind him.
"AH!" he screams as he turns around and found Pansy smiling as she throws herself on him.
"So sensitive." She purrs as she taps on the bump between his legs.
Harry stared at her with terror as he tries to cover it. "No!" he said as he backs away from her than ran off.
"Harry!" Ginny shout as she runs after him.
Pansy smiles to herself and she sighs softly than turn to the two girls that were following Harry. "Any of you bored? I would love to entertain you just for free." She winked at them.
"Please Pansy, do control your urges." Lavender says as she walks over to her.
"Ha, I wish I could, but they are too wild and want to be free." Pansy pouts innocently as she than saw the two girls running away. "Aw, see what you did?"
"Hey, saved their pride." Lavender said as she turns away from Pansy to look for Ginny.
Pansy skips over to Lavender as she wraps her arms around her waist and leans her face on her back. "I'll save you from yourself if you want? Maybe I can help pleasure you before some drunken guy does?" she whisper to her ear and run her hand down between Lavenders leg.
Lavender froze, taken aback. "I'm not planning anything for tonight." She said quickly as she tries to regain her strength to get away from Pansy.
Pansy tightens her hold and began to kiss Lavenders neck. "I think you would. I've seen what you've done to Won-Won. You're an animal waiting to be release." She said as she runs her other hand under her shirt.
Lavender moved away from her and pointed a finger at her. "Molester!" she shouted than ran away.
Pansy stood there confused. "Me?" she asks herself than shrug as she walks the opposite way. "But I just wanted to see if she likes it…"
"Oh, Ms. Patterson! Don't forget that you have detention with me this weekend." Professor McGonagall said as she helps Professor Trelawney stand up.
"What? But school is close for this whole week and I haven't… Never mind. I see you this weekend…" she sighs as she continues on walking.
"Why don't you give me detention Minerva?" Professor Trelawney asked as she turns to her and tries to fix her large glasses.
Minerva look at her confused than sat her down in a chair. "You're not a student so there is no reason for you to get detention." She explains.
"Yes, but Snape has always given me detention in his dungeon." She said with a smile.
Minerva and a few people stared at her with an odd expression than slowly step away from her.
"Come on Draco! The party is almost over and they're going to stop serving punch soon so stop trying to get yourself more drunk." George tells Draco as he grabs his fiftieth cup.
"Just one more." Draco tells him as he raises a finger than look at it confused and tilt his head to the side. "Did my fingers grow? Do they look bigger?"
George watches as Draco shove his hand on his face than look back at his hand. "No, they look the same as always. Now, go do that bet and kiss Harry!" he encourage.
Draco closed his eyes than lean on the punch bowl. "I don't wanna. I hate Potter…Potter…Fatter... Madder...Sadder...Cracker…Laughter…." he mumbles to himself as he close his eyes.
George rolls his eyes and punch Draco on the arm. "Wake up!" he exclaim than saw Harry a few feet away. "Look there's Harry!"
Draco rubs his arm and pout. "You didn't have to hurt me. If you're mad at me just say it cause I have no reason to hurt anyone… I'm sorry." He said as he rubs his eyes.
George eyes widen as he turns to Draco. "Are… Are you crying?" he asks slowly, afraid of the answer.
"No!" he shouted as he turns away from him.
George ran his hand over his hair and shook his head. "He's a pussy when he's drunk." He said as he tries to figure something else than saw Blaise. "Yo, come help!"
Blaise raised an eyebrow as he slowly walks over to him. "He hasn't done it yet?" he asks as he looks at Draco cry. "Damn, what's wrong with him? Time of the month?"
"I'm in so much pressure, my arm hurt because he hit me (points at George), I'm starting to have a headache, and I just don't know what to do." Draco cried as he wraps his arms around the dark boy.
Blaise stood frozen than turns to George, shock, as the dark prince was complaining like a girl. "Well…this complicates things…" he said.
"Yes it does." George said as he gave a sigh and think of something.
"Draco. Let go of me." Blaise said as he pushes him away.
"No! I need a hug!" Draco complains as he tries to hold on to Blaise.
George smiles as he turns to the two boys. "Harry, need a hug. I'm sure that he won't hurt you." He said.
Draco slowly turn to George and raise his middle finger at him. "Hell no! I ain't going to hug that pussy." He growled.
"Your being the pussy!" George yelled back; ignoring the fact that he was crying two seconds ago.
"Calm down kids." Blaise said smiling a little and push Draco away again as he tries to hug him. "No, Dracie. If you want this money than you have to kiss Potter or you're going to owe a lot of people money and you would be disappointing your fan clubs."
"Fan club?" both George and Draco asks, confused.
"Yup, they fantasize you since you're the hottest Slytherin and they wrote storied about you doing it with Harry." Blaise inform him with a nod. "…Their stories are not that bad… They even wrote some about you and me…"
George continues to stare at Blaise. "Really? Anything about me?" he asks.
"Yeah, you doing it with your twin brother." He said with a shrug. "Silly brother roleplay."
"Ah, been there. Done that." George said as he snort and turn back to Draco. "See! So, this is normal."
"Normal? You people want me to kiss Potter!"Draco exclaim as he points at Harry. "And he wears glasses! The dumb as can use magic to fix his eyes and not have to wear them. Stupid-mother-fucker!"
"Whoa, chill." Blaise said with a small smile. "People might hear."
"I don't care! That fucker thinks he's all bad just because he killed a bad wizard. Stupid Pothead can't even think for himself unless his life depends on it or he'll use Granger to fucker her brains out." Draco bawls as he continues to point his finger at Harry.
"What you said fucking bitch?" Harry shouted as he walked over to Draco.
"You hear, you stupid deaf fucker. Do you have a problem you dumbass stupid mother fucker bitch! Why you suck my dick if you want to open your mouth again." He said he walked over to him.
"Was this your plan?" Blaise whispers to George.
"…I thought it was yours…" he whispered back.
Harry pushed Draco away from him. "Think you can talk big just because you own an Unbeatable Wand? You a mommy's boy." he asks as he pushes Draco again.
Draco growl as he socks Harry on the face than jumped him and began to hit him. The whole crowd uproars as they watch Draco grabs Harry's collar and began to bang Harry's shoulders against the floor. Harry kicked Draco right in between Draco's leg and watch as Draco groan as he falls to his side and laughs. Draco clutch his crouch than kicked harry between the leg and everyone watch as both boys groan on the ground. George and Blaise turn to each other not expecting this than looking away and began to walk away.
"Fucker!" Draco curse as he try to sit up.
"Bitch."
"Ass wipe."
"Whore."
"Cock sucker."
"Dick licker."
"I don't lick dicks!"
"Well I don't suck cocks!"
"Liar! I saw you do so!" Draco exclaim.
"With who?" Harry asks as he sat up now.
"With Weasley Wonder!" Draco said laughing. "Didn't think anyone was watching but I watch you do fucking your balls off in the astronomy tower."
Harry face turn red. "No!" he shouted as he saw everyone looking at him wide eyes. "Well… I saw you doing it with Snape!"
The crowd gasps.
Draco face turns red now and shook his head. "No! That was a one time deal! Besides he was helping me do my homework." He said.
"Yeah, how to lick a dick." Harry snorted as he rolled his eyes. "I guess you like older men. Old guys that can take control over you."
"Fuck you! I see you like pussy bitches like your mate! You just want to be on time since Weasley girl likes to tie you up." Draco retort back.
"How the fuck you know that?" Harry asks with wide eyes. "You've been snooping? I thought you rather not see things like when Snape blind folded you doing his so called private lessons."
Draco glared at him. "Fag!" he shouted as he grabbed Harry's collar again and raised his hand going to sock him yet he pulled Harry to press his lips against Draco.
Harry through his arms around Draco and kiss him back as the crowd, once again, roar at the bets success. Draco loosen his grip yet push Harry below him and took a hold of Harry's hair as he thrust his tongue into the boys mouth and battle with the other. Harry moan as he ran his hands over Draco's body than felt the soft skin and gasp when they're lips parted. Draco moved his lips down Harry's chin, passing the jaw line, to his neck and began to suck and nibble the area while his hand ran down the body and stop below the belly. The boys didn't notice as the crowd grow listen as they watch with the girls drooling and the guys paying George.
"No who wouldn't get drunk at Hogwarts?" George said smiling as he looks upon the money and watch the two boys beginning to undress.
The End