He couldn't help but wonder what other people would be doing on Christmas.
Most people would be curled up inside by the fireplaces. A warm roasted tea their mothers had lovingly tendered to all day served out on the table with every side dish imaginable surrounding them. New presents being torn open by children and excited adults caught up in the christmas cheer. Warm coats, gloves, scarfs and other attire being shoved on as they would run outside and make snowmen and snow angels. Loud cheers would leave their mouths as they raced down slopes on sleighs or plastic bags, tearing through the snow.
And what was he doing?
Going on a solitary walk through the park.
Its not that he wanted too. He wanted to be home, surrounded by loving family. He wanted to have the roast, the presents, the loving and doting mother, the snowmen in the front yard, the races on bags. He wanted all that. But he couldn't.
Not since his and Mokuba's fight two days ago that ended in tears.
Rearranging his scarf, and flipping his hood up to keep the cold snow off of his already bright red cheeks, Seto Kaiba sighed, his breath coming out into a small, wispy cloud in front of him, dancing up to disappear in the nearby streetlights glow. He hated thinking of their fight. He hated remembering Mokuba's hurt and broken face as the tears streamed down his cheeks and harsh words ripped out of his mouth. He hated it.
Seto had to stifle a groan as he realized for the hundredth time that it'd started all because of his own stupidity. If he'd actually realized that Mokuba was becoming more and more demanding of attention. If he'd actually realized he wasn't as home as often. If he'd actually realized that even though he heard no peep from Mokuba's room at night when he walked past, it didn't mean the boy wasn't sitting up in bed silently crying himself to sleep. If he'd actually realized that Mokuba was no longer a happy, teenage boy and had at some point had turned into a walking zombie, he might have been able to avoid the whole fight… and had the perfect christmas.
As he normally did when thinking hard, Seto began to gnaw gently on his bottom lip, his eyes glazing over as his body went into auto pilot, directing itself along the bright street, every lamppost covered in tinsel with fairy lights strung between.
It was Mokuba's last words that burned themselves into Setos brain though. His last words before storming out of the house to who knows where.
"I want Seto back. Not Kaiba."
He turned into the city centrals park, so wonderfully decorated in christmas spirit it was amazing. All the way down each of the four paths leading to the middle were lined with while picket fences, gold and red tinsel looped through them, while the lampposts were still the same as before, just with more lights. Hanging between the occasional lamppost though was a sprig of mistletoe, which made Seto smile slightly as he walked past a young couple embracing under one sprig. Little bells and balls were on some of the fences, all perfectly symmetrical with each other while Santa, Reindeer, Elves and Snowmen statues where everywhere. The huge master piece though, was where all four paths meet into a huge big plaza type space, and a huge red and gold christmas tree stood, bright and sparkly with twinkling lights.
But even though there was all the bright colours and all round cheerfulness, Seto still felt dull and empty, those words replaying in his head.
"I want Seto back. Not Kaiba."
Even the cheery christmas songs playing out over the speakers of nearby shops couldn't distract Seto from the thoughts of his brother. In fact, it only intensified them… and brought the person he longed to forget about to his mind.
He paused in his walk to listen to "Santa is coming to town" and couldn't help but smile slightly at the memory of last years Christmas party at Yugi's where Mokuba had convinced both Seto and Joey to sing the dirty version of the song. Eventually it'd ended up with a 'who can sing the dirtiest christmas parody' competition between the two young adults. It'd only ended when after an hour, Tea and Mai pointed out that they were standing under a mistletoe.
Seto blushed as he remembered the kiss they'd shared, after much convincing and some blackmail on Mokuba's part. Sweet and innocent, but filled with feelings neither should have really felt.
Raising his head, Seto forced his eyes to look past the glow the street lights emitted to gaze at the stars, the occasional one twinkling as if it was winking at him. He'd avoided Joey straight after the kiss, and for most of the year, scared of the feelings he'd felt from the blonde and frightened the feelings that'd bubbled up in him would break past the barrier he'd put up to stop them. Mokuba had tried convincing him to act on them, but he'd refused.
Mokuba…
His gloved hands balled up into fists before he shoved them viciously in his pockets, his face turning to stone as he began to walk again. Originally he'd had no direction, only the need to walk but now he had a direction, a place to go.
It was a short, brisk walk to the parks beautiful stone bridge that looked out over the park and most of the city, the bright christmas tree sparkling less than two hundred meters away. Brushing away some of the snow, Seto leaned delicately against the stones and stared out over the twinkling trees covered in fairy lights, and the glistening buildings. He tipped his head forward, feeling his hood fall over his face even more as he gazed down at the little stream underneath him, the water weaving its way gracefully around rocks and branches.
"Not contemplating jumping are ya?"
Seto felt himself jolt as his head jerked up to look at the owner of the voice, his eyes widening and a lump jump into his throat when he recognized the speaker.
Joey.
The blonde cocked his head to the side, as if waiting for an answer, which Seto realized he was. Trying to calm his beating heart, Seto looked away from Joey and locked his eyes back onto the christmas tree in the distance.
"No."
A smile appeared on Joeys lips as he walked over, brushing off some of the snow to lean against the stone beside Seto.
"But you are wondering what the point in living is aren't ya." this time it wasn't a question. Setos teeth once again sought out his lip, determined to nibble on the soft flesh as his mind rushed at the question. Was he really wondering that? Was he actually wondering what the point to life was?
"Yes." he whispered, answering both himself and Joey. The blonde nodded his head slowly before giving Seto a sideways glance, his eyes racking over the hood still covering the brunettes face.
"You know you shouldn't. Theres lots to live for." A huge grin suddenly appeared on Joeys face as he gestured out at the park. "Christmas for one thing!"
Seto scoffed. "What if christmas isn't worth anything to you anymore?"
"Ice cream."
He knew Joey was slightly insane… but ice cream? Spotting the way Setos head cocked to the side, Joey grinned a toothy grin.
"Confused?" he chuckled, earning a nod. "Ice cream is amazing." he stifled another laugh before his face suddenly turned serious. "How can christmas not be worth anything to you?"
"Because theres no one to spend it with."
"No family?"
"My brother and I got into a fight a couple of days ago. He… I haven't apologized yet."
"Taking responsibility?"
Seto just nodded, his thoughts traveling from the gorgeous blonde beside him to the black haired boy who was somewhere in the city, hopefully in a warm home. Joey gave a small smile and gazed out over the city.
"Why are you here?" Seto asked, his eyes showing genuine curiosity that Joey couldn't see, but could hear in his voice.
"I just came for a walk. It was getting a bit stuffy at Yugis, and Mokuba was driving me insane with comments about his brother and I getting together." he said with a small chuckle, missing as Seto started beside him.
"Mokuba Kaiba?"
"Hyperactive kid that one. Has an obsession with presents too." he gave Seto a big grin. "Slightly insane."
Seto just gave a nod and smiled to himself, determined to make sure that Joey words didn't effect him on the outside. He was intent on making sure that Joey didn't know who he was, not only to avoid the awkwardness that might attack them, but to also avoid the feelings that might just bubble up when Joey looks at him as Seto, not some stranger.
"He misses his brother."
"Huh?" Seto said stupidly, to busy wrapped up in his own thoughts to actually grasp what Joey said.
"He's in a situation like yours. He got into a fight with his brother the other day and walked out. He's already forgiven him but is just waiting for him to just turn up and apologize." Joey laughed sadly and shook his head. "I didn't have the heart to tell him that I don't think he will."
"Why?"
"Last christmas… last christmas one of my biggest dreams came true." Joey gave Seto a bittersweet look, one that tore Seto a part inside. "Seto and I kissed. God it was amazing. I felt as if I was… I was just flying." The bitter seemed to take over and Seto saw Joeys hands tighten into fists. "I thought he felt something too, I could almost feel it in that kiss. But I guess not."
Seto couldn't stop the frown taking over his face as he thought over Joeys words. Biggest dream? Amazing? Flying? Felt something too?
"Why?"
He had resist the urge to facepalm as that one word tumbled out of his mouth without his brains consent. Instead he just settled for a mental bashing while Joey gave him a confused look, before shrugging.
"He hasn't talked or contacted me since. I just assumed he wasn't interested." the bitter look returned as Joey pushed off the rocks and settled his back against them instead. "It actually hurt. At first everyone told me I'd get over it, but each time I saw him, or talked about him with his brother… it just hurt."
Seto wanted to reach out to Joey right then and there. Wrap the boy up in his arms and say he was sorry over and over again until the blonde screamed at him to shut up. He wanted to go back through the past year and just find Joey, just talk to him, just be his friend. If only he wasn't so confused! So scared! If only he would just man up and just accept his feelings for Joey! If only.
"Seto?"
The brunette froze when he heard his name being called and looked up to see Joey looking at him concerned. With a frown, Seto reached up to check to see if his hood was still up and covering his face. It was.
"Really? You didn't think I knew it was you?" Joey laughed, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. Stepping forward, the blonde reached up and flipped back Setos hood, watching as the brunette shuddered when the ice cold air attacked his cheeks, making his naturally pale skin instantly turn red. As Joey pulled his arms back, Setos hands snatched out and grabbed his wrists.
"Joey… Joey I'm sorry." he said breathlessly, watching as Joeys face seemed to fall and his head dropped. Seto felt a pang of hurt flash through him and he bit his lip before continuing. "Please Joey. I… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"
He was cut off when suddenly Joey moved forward and crushed his lips against Setos, igniting a smoldering fire between them that soon roared to life. It took a moment for them to fall into a comfortable fit, Joeys hand snaking its way into Setos hair while the other lay on his chest just as one of Setos cupped the blondes cheek and the other rested on the small of Joeys back, pushing him into the brunette. Their lips began to move in sync, caressing the others with delicateness rare from the both of them, especially towards each other. After a while though, the desperate need for air came about and they broke apart, breathing heavily.
"Seto…" Joey whispered, a small grin beginning to appear on his face. But it was soon wiped off when he saw Setos downcast expression.
"I'm sorry."
Nodding his head in understanding, the blonde pulled away and Seto instantly missed him, missed the warmth, missed the comfort, missed everything. Turning around, Joey began to walk away. Shaking his head, Seto knew he couldn't let it happen like this. While he still was afraid of his feelings, and didn't fully understand them, it didn't mean he was going to let Joey just go.
"Wait." he said, his voice stern and commanding, but holding the tenderness he'd normally have reserved for Mokuba. The blonde froze, his back stiffening as he waited patiently for Seto to continue. Stepping forward, Seto tried to find the right words to say, tried to find something, anything. He took too long though and Joey took the initiative to say something… although what he said chilled Seto to the core.
"I want Seto. Not Kaiba." he mumbled, his voice clear though. "And I know Seto loves me."
Seto was frozen, his heart thumping in his ears as those words rung in them, mixing with Mokuba's words and seeming to begin tormenting him.
"I'm just… I'm just not too sure-"
"Which one you are." Joey finished for him before turning around, surprising Seto with a grin. "Mokuba's waiting for you at Yugi's and I'm going there now. Care to join?"
He was confused. Wasn't Joey just angry at him? And sad? And… willing to give him a chance.
"Yes."
The blonde held out his hand, offering it to Seto. The brunette looked at the hand for a long moment before taking it, feeling Joey entwine their fingers together.
"I'll wait for you Seto, I promise." Joey whispered with a gentle smile. Seto glanced down at the slightly shorter male before surprising him with a small smile of his own.
"Merry Christmas Joey." he replied before pressing his lips to Joeys forehead in a brief kiss. He may be uncertain, but he was going to give it a go…
"Merry Christmas Seto."
… And hell, Joeys grin was worth it
So this is my incredibly late christmas fic that I wrote ages ago for christmas and a contest but never got my huge ass around to loading up! But here it is!
Please write a review and tell me what you think! I understand that Setos OOC so even if its a huge bitch out about that, I'd be very thankful XD At least I know my story is being read!