Rachel rose from the couch with a puzzled expression on her face wondering who would be knocking on her door this late at night. She stopped momentarily before reaching the front door thinking that it may be a criminal attempting to break in. Deciding that if it was in fact a criminal then they would probably use less legal means and she was safe. Looking through the peephole she saw who it was leaning against the doorframe she opened it revealing the teenager.
"Noah, what are you doing here at 11:30 at night?"
"Had to talk to you." His eyes were bloodshot and suddenly the time on the analog clock beside of her wasn't so important
"And it couldn't wait until tomorrow morning? What if I had been sleeping?"
"It's 11:30 on a Friday night. You're catching up on your DVR with all your guilty pleasures."
"How did you know that?"
"You were mine for a week Rachel I remember the important stuff." He stopped talking for a moment and she felt the cold wind hit her skin making her shiver, "I don't lie to you."
"What?"
"I don't lie…to you. I mean I lie to other people. My mom, Finn, Quinn. But I don't lie to you. And I don't wanna start now Rach."
"Talk to me Noah because I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. You don't lie to me? I know that and I always appreciate your honesty. Do you want to come in its a little cold out there?"
"Can you come sit with me on the swing?" If she cared it didn't register on her face as she slipped on her shoes before closing the door behind her. Taking a spot on the swing beside of him she wished she had went upstairs and put on a jacket before coming outside to sit with him. Almost as if he was reading her mind she was reach his letterman which she put on without hesitation smiling at the way the sleeves were way too long.
"Thank you."
"I made a mistake Rachel. A really big one. It happened last week and I've been trying to think of a way to tell you. Because I didn't want to hurt you but not telling you then you finding out later would hurt you more."
"Noah you're scaring me. Are you okay?"
"I slept with Shelby." He said it so low that at first she was sure she'd heard him wrong. There was no way he would have done that. Puck would have slept with Shelby not Noah. Not the bad boy with a heart of gold she'd become so fond of. He wouldn't do that to her, he couldn't have.
"Please tell me that this is some sort of sick joke."
"I can't tell you that because I won't lie to you."
"Why?" She could feel the tears in her eyes when she thought about the betrayal of her trust of their friendship…of their relationship that was more than just a little complicated. Even if they weren't together she knew in her heart they were always together in one way or another. When he was dating Lauren or Santana or whoever it was she felt uneasy. Like she had some type of claim on him but she was dating Finn and those notions were completely illogical not to mention disrespectful to the boy she said she loved.
"Beth. I wanted to be her father so bad Rachel, I still want to be her father. And being with Shelby just like being with Quinn before was my best way of getting that. I just wanted to have a family where I could be her dad Rachel."
"So it was less about Shelby and more about Beth? You don't actually want Shelby do you?"
"No if I wanted to pick the person I raised my child with it wouldn't be Shelby. I'm not even getting to raise my child Rach. So all this heartbreak that I'm feeling was for nothing and making you hurt was for nothing."
"You've been crying haven't you?"
"That noticeable, huh? Fuck when I came over here I didn't think you'd respond like this."
"Am I taking it much worse than you thought?"
"Not even close. Best case scenario was you slapping me."
"Then what was the worst scenario?"
"You telling me you hated me. But either way I had to tell you, I just had to."
"Why did you tell me Noah? There was a chance, a high one actually since you and Shelby are the only two that knew about this, that I would have never found out."
"I couldn't not tell you after everything we've been through together. I'd already disrespected this enough without keeping up a lie."
"What is this? Tell me what that means."
"Come on Rachel what we are," He looked at her for the first time since sitting on the swing together, "We're everything. More than friends cause I'm telling you I don't jump through half the hoops I jump through for you for anyone else. And unless you go around making out with Mercedes or Kurt then I'm guessing you think we're more than just friends too." She locked onto his green eyes and shook her head signaling no that she did not go around doing those things, "I've had girlfriends in the past and ya know what you were mine for a week but you still mean more to me than the rest of them combined. Don't get me wrong Santana, Brittany, Lauren, Mercedes, even Quinn I care about them all but it's different with you."
"Different how?" The diva found her voice finally after sitting there listening to him carry the conversation
"I just care about you more. And how fucked up is that? I threw slushies at you for two years, made fun of you but my relationship with you matters more than the one I have with my baby mama. Damn it Rachel explain to me how that's right, how that's normal. Then after I slept with Shelby I just felt so guilty and I don't feel guilty for sleeping with women. I knocked up my best friend's girlfriend and I didn't feel half as guilty as I did last week. I came here to tell you the truth, to beg for forgiveness, and tell you that even if you never forgive me I'll never stop trying."
"Never stop trying to do what Noah?"
"To win you back." Her eyes widened and her heart fluttered, "To win us back. Because I sure don't deserve you but I'm gonna do everything in my power to make it up to you Rachel."
"Noah I forgive you already. You don't have to try and work to get me back. I'm here, I'm still here, I've always been here," Leaning forward she rested her forehead against his she waited until he opened his eyes so she could finish, "I'll always be here."
"Guess I should go, leave you to your shows. You probably need some space to digest this." He moved so their noses were touching and their mouths were just centimeters apart.
"I don't want space." She murmured and he practically felt her lips move against his own
"I can't kiss you yet. You know I want to."
"I know because I want it too."
"Soon though baby. I promise, when everything isn't so fucked up."
"I'm in the middle of Gossip Girl. I know how much you love that show, care to join me?" Smiling at him she moved back reluctantly interlacing their fingers as she stood up leading them to the door.
"Lead the way."
