Just Another Rocky Horror Boxing Day
Event follows "It's all just a floor show", i.e. Riff Raff, Magenta, Frank, Eddie, Columbia and Rocky are all alive and they are celebrating Earthlings Christmas.
This story is inspired by Handyman's Muse's "Christmas on earth"
I am sure this is not the best Rocky Horror Christmas Story you have read, but I hope you will like it!
Declaimer: Richard O'Brien owns everything.
It was Boxing Day morning in London. Everybody was still excited about Christmas, except people inside this old castle inside the forest. They didn't like the people who went to church only twice a year. (As Magenta said, "The church is too busy and overcrowded. Can't they praise to their god on a different day?") They didn't like the Christmas carol. (As Eddie said, "Nothing is better than rock and roll.") They didn't understand who Jesus was. (As Frank said, "I hardly know the guy. I had never slept with this Earthling.") They didn't like Christmas colors. (As Riff Raff said, "I don't like red or green. I only love Magenta.") And they didn't understand the true meaning of Christmas, but sure, they like receiving gifts. Everybody likes Christmas presents, especially Frank.
Inside the nicely decorated living room, neatly wrapped Christmas gifts were placed under the tree on Christmas Eve. The castle owner and his friends were eager to open the present on the next morning, but Columbia was in their way, stopping them. She said on Christmas Day, "NO! Tomorrow is Boxing Day and today is Christmas Day! Ya can only open your present on Boxing Day!" Since it was her idea to celebrate Christmas, everyone had to follow her rules.
"Finally, it is Boxing Day morning! I can't wait to see what I got!" Frank said when he was walking down the stairs. He just woke up, but he had already put on his make-up and wore his black sequined corset with silver lining. Magenta and Columbia were in the kitchen fixing breakfast. Magenta and Columbia were wearing their nicest clothes. Magenta wore the silky dinner dress which showed her bra and Columbia wore her groupie party outfit. Riff Raff, Eddie and Rocky were sitting around the dining room table, drinking coffee and reading newspaper. Rocky was wearing his golden underpants and golden boots. Apparently, those were the only clothes he had. Riff Raff didn't wear his fake humped back. He was wearing casual clothes, looking handsome. Eddie was wearing his motorbike jacket. Although Columbia loved to bury her face in Eddie's chest, his jacket was always hated by the rest of the castle attendants because he never washed it. It had some kind of weird beer smell.
Frank clapped his hand to get everyone's attention. "Listen to me. Forget about breakfast. We are unwrapping gift now." Led by Frank, the group headed to the living room. The living room was nicely decorated by Columbia and Eddie. A small fire was lighted at the fireplace. Empty fishnet stockings were hung by the fireplace. It's good to sit around the fireplace when winter in London was so cold.
Frank picked up a gift under the Christmas tree and un-wrapped it. It was from Riff Raff and Magenta. It was a pair of fishnets. "This is the HOTTEST style of fishnets we found in the 'Latest Trend' Magazine. We hope you would like it," Magenta said. "DAMN," Columbia handed her gift to Frank, "Eddie and I got the same fishnets for Frankie, too!" Frank smiled, "I love it! I don't mind having some spared!"
He picked up another gift under the tree. Inside, there was a pair of black high heel lady boots. The boots were from Rocky. Frank quickly tried it on. It was his style, but not his size. This was way too small. He looked disappointed at Rocky, "I am a man eight-and-a-half, not a woman eight-and-a-half. Maybe next time you should get me a gift card and I will buy it myself." Rocky looked discouraged and didn't say a word.
Rocky took four nice envelopes hanging on the tree. He distributed the envelopes to Eddie, Columbia, Magenta and Riff Raff. "These are my presents to you guys," said Rocky. They opened the envelopes and inside each envelope, there was a piece of paper.
"Hug coupon?" Columbia screamed. She sounded really excited, "I love it! I am going to use mine right now!" She hugged Rocky.
"Rocky, I cook your five meals a day. I am like your mother. Is this how you repay me?" Magenta asked. "Fine, I will let you cut my hair," Rocky replied. "Deal," Magenta accepted Rocky's offer.
Riff Raff and Eddie looked at Rocky disappointedly. Riff Raff said, "So, you spent all your money on Frank's not-so-fit boots and gave us hug coupons? This is unacceptable." Eddie said, "Although we don't really share the same brain, I had always thought us as best buddies. Seriously, you are giving me a hug coupon? That's too cheap, even from you!" They threw the coupons on the floor and Columbia picked them up. "Don't waste the coupon. If you don't use them, I will save them for future use," Columbia said. "Why do you need hugs from Rocky? Haven't you got enough hugs from me already?" Eddie asked and hugged Columbia. "Eddie! Don't be so hard on him. He is just a boy." Columbia said in her high pitch voice and kissed Eddie.
Frank took five gifts from the bottom of the tree and handed to the other five castle occupants. The gifts looked identical. They opened their gifts. No surprised, Frank gave everyone fishnet for Christmas. He added, "They're perfect for the floorshow! But if you want to, you can wear them as day-to-day clothes. By the way, they were not on sale when I got them and they were not cheaper when I got them in bulk." He looked at the roof and tried to avoid eye contact with others. "Oh really, you look like you are lying. You must have gotten them cheap when they were on sale and selling in bulk," Riff Raff said, as he found a receipt that fell out from his gift wrap. "Do you trust what you saw or what I told you?" Frank said and pretended he was angry. Riff Raff replied, "If I can't trust my eyes, then I must be blind." "Stop arguing. I want to open my gift now," said Rocky.
Rocky took a big box wrapped in silver-color paper. He opened the box from Riff Raff, Magenta, Columbia and Eddie. Inside, there were a pair of silver underwear and a pair of silver boots. Columbia said, "We spent so much time making your gift. Silver cloth was very hard to find in London. Did you know how many days Eddie and I spent on finding the cloth? Three days, it took us three days. Riff Raff and Magenta did all the sewing. They are very handy."
Although it was a heart-warming present, Rocky stormed out and said, "You don't understand me! No one understands me! I want no silver underwear or cheap fishnets. It's cold in London. I just want a long sleeved T-shirt, a pair of jeans or a jacket." He left the room.
"Teenagers' hormone," said Frank, "It's fine. He won't be angry for long."
Columbia and Eddie opened the present from Magenta and Riff Raff. They gave them two dolls that resembled Columbia and Eddie. Columbia was thrilled to receive a mini-Columbia and a mini-Eddie. She hugged Magenta and Riff Raff. The guy doll was wearing jean jacket with tiny hand-sewed pins and a ripped motorbike pants. It didn't have a mini-motor bike, but it did have a tiny saxophone. The girl doll had red short hair and was wearing a rock and roll style black dress. Riff Raff kissed Magenta's cheek and explained, "We made them ourselves. Magenta made the dolls and I made the clothes. Check out the classical little black dress."
Columbia gave Magenta a best friend charm with "CoMa Forever" carving on the inside. She showed the second bracelet on her wrist to Magenta and said, "I have one too! Next time when we go shopping in the mall, people will see this and know that we are best friend!" "Since when did my name become Ma and your name become Co?" Magenta asked. Columbia said, "They have a twelve letter limit. CoMa sounds good, right?" "Well, it's okay. Thank you." Magenta did not want to discourage her friend and the bracelet itself looked very nice.
Columbia gave Riff Raff a new video camera. "Why do I need a video camera? I am not making a movie." Riff Raff said, confused. He didn't like to take photo and he didn't like photo to be taken. Why would he need to make video? Columbia said, "I am sure it will be useful very soon! I am sure you don't want to miss out the things that happen in the next couple months and years!" She winked in Magenta and left Riff Raff in confusion.
Wanting to distract Columbia, Magenta asked, "Where are our presents, Eddie?"
Eddie took a piece of paper from his pocket and gave it to Riff Raff.
"'Get 5 dollars off next time you eat at Denton Pizza, when you spend 50 dollars or more, bracket, before tax,'" Riff Raff read off from the piece of paper and gave Eddie a harsh look, "We are in London now..." "You can use it next time you go back to Denton," Eddie explained.
Magenta took the paper from Riff Raff's hand and continued reading, "'Expired on December 31', THIS YEAR?" "Ya, you should probably buy a flight ticket now," Eddie smiled. "Magenta, prepare... the... transfer... beam..." Riff Raff sang.
"Wait," Frank said, "You don't even like pizza. We shouldn't waste fuel, time and money to go back to Denton."
"Right," Riff Raff ripped the coupon into two pieces and gave it back to Eddie, "This is worst than a hug coupon. We demanded better present for next year."
Eddie replied, "Allllll-right!" and gave the thumbs up.
This was Riff Raff and Magenta's turn to exchange gift. The gift Riff Raff gave to Magenta was sexy red Christmas lingerie with white lace. "I wanted you to wear it on Christmas Eve, but I didn't know we were not supposed to open gift until today morning. You can save it for next year's Christmas Eve or you can wear it for New Year Eve," Riff Raff explained.
Magenta kissed Riff Raff and said, "Well, today is Boxing Day. I guessed it's not too late yet." She brought her gift into her room and returned to the living room in two minutes. Magenta looked HOT when her red hair matched the red color of the lingerie. Frank and Eddie nodded and smiled evilly. "Riff Raff, good choice," they said in unison and whistled loudly. Riff Raff hugged and kissed Magenta.
Magenta gave Riff Raff his present. He opened the box and saw, "Oh... It's a sweater?" Riff Raff sounded disappointed, but when he looked closely, he realized the sweater was small, in fact, too small for him. IT'S A BABY SWEATER. "Oh, Magenta, are you...?"
Magenta smiled shyly and didn't say anything. Columbia laughed and said, "I have known this for weeks, but Magenta wouldn't let me tell anyone. She wanted to tell you herself!" Magenta put Riff Raff's arm around her waist and his palm on her stomach. He lifted her up and put her down on the couch. And then they started making out on the couch.
While Eddie was distracted watching Riff Raff and Magenta, Columbia sneaked into the Zen room and rolled out a giant brand new drum set. She didn't even wrap the set. "Didn't you insist us to wrap all your gifts? Where is your wrapping paper for Eddie's present?" Frank asked sarcastically. Columbia said, "That is a waste of wrapping paper. We have to save the environment. First step to take will be saving paper..." "But..." Frank said and stopped. He knew there was no point arguing with Columbia because she would deafen him with her voice. "I love it! Thank you, honey!" Eddie tried his set and started making noise. Eddie may be a saxophone genius, but he definitely needed more practice playing drums.
"Now where is my gift? I don't want a pizza coupon," Columbia asked Eddie.
There was only one gift left under the Christmas tree. Eddie picked up a tiny box. He un-wrapped the box for Columbia and opened it; inside, there was a shiny diamond engagement ring. "Will you marry me?" Eddie kneeled and asked.
"NO!" Columbia answered. Her NO caught Eddie's attention.
"What?" Eddie was confused. They had been dating since forever, so he asked again, "Why? I love you with all my heart!" "Because... my mother told me to only say 'yes' after a boy asked for the third time." "Okay, will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Riff, how many times did I ask?" "What? I wasn't paying attention. Ten... Eleven times... I don't know," Riff Raff released Magenta's lips and answered Eddie. He then locked lips with Magenta again.
Eddie faced Columbia again and asked, "Is this good enough?" "Yes!" Columbia answered and stole a kiss from Eddie. Eddie hugged Columbia tightly and started to make out with her next to the Christmas tree.
"Look like there is nothing for me to do here. I better go find Rocky now. I hope he is not still angry with me. I hate to sleep alone at night," Frank signed and left the room.