A/N: So this is another crack Alternate Universe story for Resident Evil for the LULZ. Yes. LULZ. It's meant to be complete crack. And because Alice is shippable with just about everyone in the movies, so here goes. Have fun, enjoy, and I think I'll be writing these chapters as stress relief in the next two weeks before exams. So, READ and REVIEW and LAUGH because I certainly am (Laughing that is!) this goes out to all my friends, Abbie, Amy, Andrea, Bri, and Sew for listening to me babble and rant and rave and carry on. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO...here goes...

The Bachelorette: Resident Evil Edition

Chapter One: Introduction to the Finalists

This week on the Bachelorette …

Our contestants have been decided for the top six positions in this contest to win the heart of our Bachelorette, Alice Abernathy. Three men, three women, all in this to win it. First on the docket, Matt Addison.

Matt is an environmentalist working for a large company based out of Detroit, Michigan. He enjoys taking his dog out with him while going on a run in the early morning, and prefers cooking his date dinner instead of going out to a restaurant. His plans if Alice chooses him are to marry, and then go honeymooning in Venice.

Next on the list, is Rain Ocampo. Born and raised in Kentucky, she went through college and became an officer for the Los Angeles Police Department, serving now for the past five years. She enjoys working out in numerous disciplines such as boxing, mixed martial arts, and combat training. Other hobbies include heading out to the shooting range once a week, and going out for beer at her favourite bar. Her plans if Alice chooses her are to "Get laid and take it from there."

Our third contestant is Jill Valentine. Jill is on the Special Tactics and Rescue Service run out of Raccoon City, Michigan. She has served on the force for a number of years, and has a high reputation amongst her co-workers for getting the job done. Outside of work, Jill enjoys going out to clubs with her friends to socialize. Jill prefers martinis, and strappy heels to fine wine and long dresses. If Alice chooses Jill, her plans are a 'surprise'.

Carlos Olivera is our fourth contestant. He comes from a Portuguese family originally from the Azores. He grew up also in Raccoon City, and as a way to put him through college, he took up a job as a male entertainer, hired for bachelorette parties and etc. He enjoys training for triathlons once a year, and goes camping frequently in a cabin that he purchased when he was twenty in the Arklay Mountains. If Alice chooses him, he plans to propose in said cabin, and get married in a church before going off on a honeymoon of her choice.

Next is Claire Redfield. Born and raised in the countryside of western California, Claire grew up the youngest next to her older brother Chris. She learned from her father the skills of the trade of becoming a mechanic after putting together a customised Harley Davidson by herself. She claims to be good with her hands, and doesn't mind getting dirty while working. In her spare time, she likes to write stories, read, and shop on the odd occasion. If in the end, she's chosen by Alice, her plans are to find somewhere romantic, and pop the question and take it one step at a time.

And last, but certainly not least is Luther West. Luther was raised in New England, but later moved to Los Angeles as he was drafted into the National Basketball Association to play for the LA Lakers as a defense. He has a competitive nature, but enjoys taking his dates out to nice, formal restaurants and romantic venues. He claims to have fan girls, but he would like to find 'the one'. Besides basketball, Luther enjoys fine timepieces, modelling for a watch company, and skiing during the winter. If Alice chooses him, Luther states that he will make a public proposal, 'An offer she ain't gonna be able to resist."

Now that the contestants have had a bit of an introduction, it's up to Alice Abernathy to make a decision after getting a shot to meet, greet, and go out on a date with each person. By the end of the contest, Alice has a decision to make. Just who will she choose?