This is me again. I'll continue AAS soon, but this is something that popped into my head first. It was actually inspired by my French homework, so here's the English version of the whole story. It's very short and is nothing but a one shot.
It's me, the fat and old man, who's wearing that red suit and who's trying to get into your house through your chimney. Well…lately I've been wondering a lot whether I've chosen the right job, since I can't buy anything with happy children, can I? I know that sounds pretty mean, but it's nothing but the truth.
It's nice to see people all happy, but no one ever gives a damn about all the work I got to do…and I'm NOT even PAID to do all that. On top of that the only ones to keep me company are some puny elves who're always on drugs. Well… that's the only reason I can think of for their constant happiness.
You might think it can't get any worse than that, but it can! Peter Zwegat* is currently camping in my lawn and wants to help me get rid of my debts. Yes, Christmas is damn expensive and I have to pay for it all on my own! I have to pay for the elves, I have to pay for the presents…did I already mention that no one, absolutely NO ONE, is paying me any money?
If there weren't as many children, I'd have more time to take on another job…that's it! That's what I'll do! From now on, I'll only give condoms to everyone! The young ones will have balloons to play with and the older ones…will have other things to play with, but at least they won't get pregnant as often. Everyone would be happy and I'd have enough time for another job and in addition to that I'd stop the spread of HIV and AIDS. I'm such a genius!
I hope you enjoyed this little piece of nonsense at least as much as I enjoyed writing it =3
*) Peter Zwegat: He's an infamous debt counsellor in Germany. He's got his own TV show and actually it's damn funny XD It's idiotic enough to be fun and people like to make fun of him and his methods. In this story he wants to help Santa. There's an article on Wikipedia, but just on the German version, so anyone who wants some serious information about him and understands some German should read it then.
Merry Christmas everyone!