Everyone Hates Tousen
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"Captain Aizen?" Gin said one particular gloomy day after an espada meeting.
"Yes, young Gin." Aizen said in his typically kind yet evil way.
"There are no cookies here, are there." Gin said with a pout. Aizen froze. He had been having this feeling also, but was hoping that it was just his imagination.
"Yes Gin, they lied about the cookies. But this is all we have now, we can't go back, it's too late, even if we wanted to, there's no way we could go back." Aizen said depressed. Gin looked sadly at the floor.
"Besides, ignoring all that, Soul Society would never let us back, let alone as captains." Aizen said. Gin brightened.
"I got it, we blame the whole thin' on Tousen." Gin said. Aizen's mind reeled as it had never reeled before.
"Tousen?" Aizen asked. Gin nodded vigorously.
"Ya, Tousen, we say he asked us to join him on the Lane of Slightest Carnage," Gin started.
"Path of Least Bloodshed." Aizen automatically corrected. Gin waved his correction away and continued.
"He forced ya ta act as the leader ta take suspicion off of him, like ya did with me, and we joined him ta minimize the damage and eventually overthrow 'im." Gin said. Aizen started.
"And just why would two very talented and powerful Gotei 13 captains not be able to take one Captain, or at least turn him in." Aizen brought up. Maybe Gin was on to something. Gin paused for a bit.
"Cause we were trying to help him find the right path, but now we give up and return with promise of a truce in Hueco Mundo and Tousen's head. We leave Harribel in charge of Hueco Mundo, bring back Orihime and bring the hogyoku back, or part of it, or an illusion of it, and we're good to go." Gin said. Aizen gave Gin a wary look. If he was willing to cut off Tousen's head so they could go back, what else would he do.
"Cut off Tousen's head? Isn't that a bit drastic?' Aizen asked. Gin happily shook his head. Aizen rolled his eyes.
"Oh well, you can do the actual head chopping part." Aizen said. Gin cheered.
"We're goin' home, I can' wait to see Ran-chan's face. And mini-Taicho's, and Yamamoto's, and mah Izuru!" Gin said. Aizen smiled proudly at his protégé.
"Oh Tousen!" Gin called in a singsong voice.
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"Tousen." Yamamoto said. All the remaining captains and their lieutenants were assembled as Gin and Aizen kneeled in the middle. Orihime had long since rejoined her friends and the hogyoku, if it was the actual hogyoku, was in Kurotsuchi's hands. The whole hall was silent.
"Tousen." Yamamoto said again slowly. Komamura looked down sadly. Hisagi looked away, Hitsugaya eyeballed Gin distrustfully, Rangiku was three seconds away from beating Gin to death for scaring her like that. Zaraki looked bored, Byakuya gave no sign of emotion besides suspicion, once again aimed at Gin. Kira looked lost.
"Yep, it was all Tousen, but we managed ta overthrow him and convince one of the espada ta make a truce wit' us." Gin said.
"Truce with Hueco Mundo." Yamamoto rolled the phrase around in his mouth. Aizen and Gin exchanged a look.
"Where is Tousen now?" Komamura spoke up. Gin smiled happily.
"Here he is, we brought him here to show you its all over." Aizen said as he nodded to Gin. Gin opened the plastic bag and screams flooded as Tousen's head rolled out. Everything was silent as everyone was lost in their thoughts. Aizen and Gin exchanged a look.
"So, can we come back now?" Gin asked. Yamamoto sighed.
"Fine, it's not like we had anyone to replace you with anyway." Yamamoto said. Gin cheered loudly and ran to Rangiku.
"Ran-chan it was horrible there, here were no cookies, they lied. They lied about the cookies." Gin said in a traumatized voice. Aizen rolled his eyes and went to go apologize to Hinamori. He figured it was coming sooner or later.
"Yay, happy endings for all! Except Tousen." Gin said.
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Everyone Hates Tousen the extended version will be uploaded soon, if it's not uploaded already.