3:51 PM 1/22/2002
E-mail: lac31685@aol.com
By: Chuquita
Quote of the Week: "She was an acrobat's daughter, she swung through the air by a noose,
until one day, her bridgework gave way, and she flew through the air like a goose." -Daffy Duck
Chuey's Corner:
Chuquita: (happily) Hello everybody and welcome to another edition of the Corner.
Vegeta: How many of these things have we done anyway?
Goku: (shrugs)
Chuquita: How would I know? I'm not countin.
Goku: 54.
Vegeta: (grumbles) It feels more like 54 HUNDRED!
Chuquita: Oh shut up! (to audiance) Today we have a special guest with us.
Vegeta: (grins) It's my little B-chan!
Bura: HI! [waves, sitting next to Vegeta]
Vegeta: (happily) [to Chu] B-chan's turning 8 years old next week! (squeals) Isn't that GREAT!
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) (sarcasm) Marvelous.
Bura: (glares at Chu, eyes glowing red) You better not be mean to me!
Chuquita: (laughs nervously) Heh-heh-heh, of course not! Why would I! You're so small, and cute,
and have super-strong psychic powers.
Bura: (smiles) Why thank you. [waves to Goku] Hi Mr. Goten's Daddy! Why don't you sit next to me
& Toussan?
Chuquita: [grabs at Goku's ear] (whispering) Son-San! DON'T. I need someone over here in case
she starts screwing with our minds.
Goku: Well...
Vegeta: (to Bura) (whining) Little B-chan! You don't REALLY want Kakarrot over here do you? He's
full of those nasty little Kako-cooties of his.
Bura: But Toussan? I thought you and Mr. Goten's Daddy were 'buddies'?
Goku: (eyes welling up with tears) Veggie doesn't wanna be my little buddy anymore? *sniffles*
Vegeta: ACK! I DIDN'T SAY THAT!
Bura: Toussan! You made poor Mr. Goten's Daddy cry!
Vegeta: (stuttering) But, but I didn't mean to, I didn't say I, I mean, he's, I NEVER SAID THAT!
Goku: (sniffles) Veh-gee?
Bura: (smiles at Veggie) Go on Toussan! Give Mr. Goten's Daddy a hug! He'll feel better!
Chuquita: [zips over to Veggie] Vedge! Hello! She's USING YOU!
Vegeta: (in a faraway voice) My poor little Kaka-chan...
Chuquita: (groans) Ugh, you're hopeless. [zips over to Goku] Son-kun! Veggie's not mad at you!
Bura just made a statement!
Goku: [not listening] My sweet little buddy Veggie-chan.
Bura: (smiles happily)
Chuquita: (to Goku) SINCE WHEN IS HE "Veggie-chan"! I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU CALL HIM THAT!
[glares back & forth between Son & Veggie] AAUGH! [sends a fist down on each of their heads]
Goku: (confused) ...
Vegeta: (also confused) ...
Bura: (giggles at them)
Chuquita: YOU TWO CUT THAT OUT!
Goku: Whad I do?
Vegeta: (turns to Bura & grins) HEY! My little B-chan's here! Look Kakarrot! It's B-chan!
Chuquita: (raises an eyebrow at Bura) Something tells me was NOT a good idea...
Summary: What would Son Goku look like with facial hair? That's exactly what the saiyajin intends
to find out. After he uses some insta-grow beneath his nose he sprouts a big bushy mustache--AND
an ego the match Vegeta's. Now the gang has to find a way to get rid of the furry black monster
before they lose the real Goku for good!
Chuquita: BTW, if you wanna see a picture of how funny Goku DOES look w/a mustache, Toriyama
actually drew one. It's in the interview section on Planetnamek. Son's an old man in the picture,
but it can give you an idea.
*************************************************************************************************
" Brushin my teeth! Brushing my teeth! Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm! " Goku hummed cheerfully to
himself as he squeezed more toothpaste onto his brush and stuck it back in his mouth. He glanced
down at the counter, then spied an unknown tube of something & picked it up with his free hand,
" Insta-grow hair grower. HAIR--the easy way. " he read off the tube, then rinsed his mouth out &
put his toothbrush back.
" I wonder where THIS came from? " Goku pondered as Gohan walked by the bathroom door,
" Hi son! Nice beard! " he waved.
" Thanks Dad! "
::Strange, Gohan didn't have a beard this morning...:: Goku trailed off, then opened the
tube of Insta-grow & put a dab on his finger, then shrieked as the entire tip of his finger instantly
sprouted hair.
" Hey, lookin sharp little pinky! " he grinned, then looked at himself in the mirror, " Hmmm... "
he glanced back down at the tube, " I wonder... "
" Goku, take that newspaper out from infront of your face, it's been there ever since you came
to breakfast! " Chi-Chi said, sitting across from him at the kitchen table.
" Umm, Chi-Chi? "
" Yes Goku? " she replied in a tired voice.
" Chi-Chi, what do you think I'd look like with a mustache? " Goku asked nervously from behind
the newspaper.
Chi-Chi thought for a moment, visualizing Goku grinning with a big fat mustache overtop his
grin and almost burst into laughter before catching herself, " Well, *chuckle* I wouldn't know. " she
answered, " Why would you ask a silly question like that? "
" Well...I was...thinking...of growing one? " Goku stammered out.
" Goku, you can't grow facial hair, even if you wanted to. Saiyajins don't grow hair on their
faces. " Chi-Chi said.
" They...don't. "
" No, that's what you said Vegeta told you. " she said, then glared out the window, " Althrough
I wouldn't be surprised if that little RAT was lying...but you've never grown any before. "
" What if I did? "
" Then I could safely say Vegeta lied to you about it. " Chi-Chi answered, " And WHY are you asking
me all these questions about mustaches ANYWAY! "
Goku pulled the paper down & pointed to a long black bushy thing under his nose, " Because I have one. "
Chi-Chi stared at him for a moment in shock, then screamed, " AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! " she regained her
composure, then stomped over to him, " GOKU! DON'T YOU _DARE_ SCARE ME LIKE THAT! NOW TAKE THAT PHONEY THING
OFF! " she said, grabbing the mustache.
" AHHH! TEETEE BY DOSE! " Goku wailed in a garbled voice as Chi-Chi grabbed his nose with one hand &
the mustache with the other and pulled it as hard as she could, but to no avail.
" ... " Chi-Chi stared at him, her jaw hanging out.
" So, heh-heh, Whadda ya think? "
" *THUMP!* " Chi-Chi's unconsious body hit the floor.
Goku sweatdropped, " That can't be a good sign. "
"*DING*DONG* "
" He-LLOOO! Anybody home! " Goku knocked on the door to Capsule Corp.
" Hi Son-San! " Mirai smiled, opening the door. His eyes widened at the sight of the taller saiyajin's
mustache, " ... "
" Hey Mirai! What's new? " he said cheerfully.
" *THUMP!* "
" Hmm? " Goku looked down at Mirai, who was now also unconsious, " It must be contagious. " he said as
he walked by Mirai and sat down on the couch in the living room in front of the TV. He grinned eagerly at the
sleeping ouji next to him. A long trail of drool dribbled out the side of Vegeta's mouth & onto the carpet.
Goku giggled.
" Goodmorning little buddy. " he bent over so he was nose-to-nose with the ouji.
" Eh? " Vegeta mumbled, slowly opening his eyes, " Goodmorning Kaka--AHH! " Vegeta shrieked, kicking
him away, " YOU'RE NOT MY KAKA-CHAN! "
" Awww, I'm your "kaka-chan" now little buddy? " Goku said w/big sparkily eyes, " Somebody must be in
an awful good mood to call me that! "
The ouji stared at him in horror, then grabbed Goku's mustache, ready to yank it off.
" AHH VEGGIE NO! " Goku screamed, then wailed as he felt the hairs above his lip surge with pain, " STOP
VEGGIE STOP!!!! IT'S REAL IT'S REAL IT'S REAL!!! "
Vegeta pulled his hand away, confused, " Kuh--Kakarrotto? "
" Yes, "Kakarrotto"! " Goku grumbled, annoyied as he rubbed his aching mustache, " Geez you're as bad
as Chi-Chi! "
" What the heck is that coming out of your nose! " Vegeta exclaimed, " It looks like a deformed
caterpillar. " he smirked.
" Haha, very funny. " Goku rolled his eyes, " For your information, it's a mustache and it's VERY
sofishdicated. "
" Sophisticated. " Vegeta corrected him.
" That's what I said. " Goku looked at him, baffled.
" Uh-huh. "
" Anyways, only the most sofishdicated people can grow mustaches. " Goku boasted.
" Where did you hear THAT? "
" TV. "
Vegeta looked at him odd, " But we're saiyajins, we can't grow facial hair! "
" That's only you. _I_ on the other hand, am SOOOO sofishdicated that I can EASILY grow a mustache, "
he grinned. Vegeta self-consiously rubbed his finger above his own upper lip, " WITH-the-help-of-insta-grow-hair
-grower-anyway. " Goku quickly added.
" Why would you want one anyway! " Vegeta yelled at him.
" ...because it's sofishdicated. "
" It's stupid! It looks stupid on you! You look like a fool with a big fat black booger hanging out his
nose! " Vegeta growled.
" Buh--buh--buh Veh-GEEEE! " Goku's eyes started to water. Vegeta glared back at him, " Veggie's a
meanie! " Goku sniffled, then paused, " Don't you feel bad for me? "
" It also makes you look UGLY too. " Vegeta continued to glare at him, not a single apologetic flinch
in him.
Goku's eyes filled with tears for a second time, " Veggie doesn't think I'm cute anymore? "
" No. " Vegeta said bluntly, then turned his attention back to the TV. Goku sat there in silence for
several seconds, then screamed.
" I DON'T WANNA BE UGLY!!! " he wailed, then grabbed Vegeta's wrist, " QUICK! TO THE BATHROOM! "
" Are you sure you're doing this right? " Goku said, trying to keep his sniffles to a minimum as Vegeta
squirted more whipped cream onto the bigger saiyajin's face.
" OF _COURSE_ I'M DOING THIS RIGHT! NOW DO YOU _WANT_ TO BE AN UGLY MUSTACHEO-ED IDIOT FOREVER OR DO YOU
WANNA GO BACK TO BEING A DISQUSTINGLY CUTE UN-MUSTACHEO-ED IDIOT! "
" Umm... " Goku thought for a second, " What are my choices again? "
" URRG! " Vegeta growled, " YOU'RE GLAD I'M HELPING YOU WITH THIS! I COULD'VE STAYED DOWNSTAIRS WATCHING
TV AND LET YOU SUFFER LIKE THIS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! "
" Awwwwwwww, Veggie loves me! "
The ouji's face turned bright red with embarassment, " I DO NOT! " he shouted at him, " God! Kakarrot,
ONLY YOU would be stupid enough to screw up your own face this bad! "
" I didn't screw it up! " Goku protested, " I just made it more so-- "
" Say it again and I'll blast your entire HEAD off RIGHT NOW! " Vegeta snarled. He looked around the
room, then grabbed electric razor & turned it on.
" There we go! " he grinned at the shiny, sharp, spinning metal razor, then turned back to Goku, who
was staring at the razor in pure terror, " Now sit back! " he ordered.
" Veggie, for the last time, " Goku said nervously, " You _DO_ know what you're doing--right! "
" YES I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! I'VE SEEN THIS DONE ON COMMERCIALS ALL THE TIME! "
" But have you actually ever used one before? "
" No. "
" AHHHHHH!!! " Goku shrieked, then yelped in a muffled voice as Vegeta covered the bigger saiyajin's
mouth with one hand & held the one carrying the razor towards Goku's mustache. He pushed the razor towards the
mustache only to have several of the blades break on contact with the thick hair. Vegeta growled and pushed
the razor ahead as hard as he could, then let out a scream of bloody murder.
" OhhhHHHHHhhh! MY FINGERRRRR! " Vegeta sobbed as he held his the razor-sliced finger under the cold
water, " THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! " he shouted, pointing at Goku, " YOU ALMOST MADE ME CHOP MY WHOLE FINGER OFF!"
" But Veggie, that thing is so small, it's hardly a paper-cut. " Goku interupted, his mustache still in
tact.
" SHUT UP! " Vegeta snapped at him, then went back to tending his finger, " YOU STUPID MUSTACHED-FREAK!"
Goku cupped his hands over his mouth & nose, " Veggie HATES me? "
Vegeta glanced over at him, then sniffled, " I don't hate you Kaka-chan. " he said in a small voice.
" You DON'T? " Goku smiled, taking his hands off from over his face, revealing his nose, mouth, and the
long fat mustache between them.
Vegeta returned to glaring at him, " That thing is a real turn-off, you know that? " he said flatly.
" It's the MUSTACHE, ISN'T IT! " Goku yelped.
" Kakarrot, it ruins your whole face. " Vegeta nodded truthfully.
" Whhaa... " Goku's eyes watered again. His head suddenly bolted up, " HEY! Nappa had a mustache didn't
he? That means saiyajins CAN have facial hair! And if we can get it, we can get rid of it! "
Vegeta sighed, " Nappa wasn't able to get rid of his either. "
" But--didn't he grow it naturally? " Goku said, confused.
" Eh? If I remember right, he ordered something through the mail called "Insta--"something or other. "
Vegeta shrugged, " Insta--uhhh... "
" --grow? " Goku squeaked out.
" YEAH! THAT'S IT! " Vegeta grinned, " Insta-grow! "
" Ha--how did he get rid of it? " Goku gulped.
" Couldn't. Tried everything short of pulling it out by the roots. That crap was stuck on there FOREVER!
"
*forever*forever*forever* Goku shivered as the word echoed in his head.
" AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! " he screamed at the top of his lungs in fright, running around the room in
circles. He screeched to a halt infront of Vegeta and pulled him up to his height by the collar, " OHHHH!
VEGGIE-VEGGIE-VEGGIE! THAT'S WHAT _I_ USED FOR MY MUSTACHE! " Goku said, worried.
" Kakarrot you boob. " Vegeta narrowed his eyes at him. Goku dropped the ouji to the floor.
" OH NO OH NO OH NO! NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE REST OF MY LIFE BEING _UGLY_ AND
_UNATTRACTIVE_ AND _UNCUTE_! " he held both sides of his head, his body gearing up to cry all over again.
" Yeah...too bad. " Vegeta said, getting up, " I'd sympathize with you Kakarrot, but, uhh, I'd rather
not catch anything from you. Like a BEARD or something. " he said, leaving the room.
" VEGGIE DON'T GO! PLEASE VEGGIE PLEASE! " Goku tackled him to the ground. Vegeta glared at him, then
stood up and made his way downstairs, pulling Goku down behind him.
" Too late, I'm going. "
" NOOOOOHHOOOOHOOOOOOOOO! I NEED YOUR HELP! I NEED TO GET RID OF THIS MONSTROCITY! IT MADE CHI-CHAN
_FAINT_! IT MADE _MIRAI_ FAINT! " he held on tighter.
" ERRR! KAKARROT LET GO! " Vegeta shouted, then grabbed Goku's hands & yanked him off. He froze, then
stared at Goku's right pinky, " Is that HAIR on your FINGER, Kakarrot? " he raised an eyebrow.
Goku nodded innocently.
" Why am I not surprised. " Vegeta said dryly.
" Veggie you'll help me won't you! Please say you're still helping me! " Goku begged him.
" Kakarrot, take your ugly face, and your hairy finger, and GET OUT! " Vegeta said, pushing him out the
front door.
" But VEH-GEEEEEEE! " Goku cried, " I DON'T WANNA BE UGLY! "
Vegeta sighed, " Don't think of it as being 'ugly', Kakarrot. " he smirked, " Think of it as being,
"soFISHdicated". " he said, then slammed the door behind him.
Goku sighed, " Ohhhh... "
" This isn't fair. " Goku pouted as he sat in his own kitchen, staring at the small, luminous TV screen
that was seated across the room from him. He stepped over the still unconsious Chi-Chi & turned the TV on.
" Hello 'friend', " the infomercial said as Goku sat down again, " Do you unsightly nose hair, bunions,
or a freakishly large mustache induced by the product "Insta-grow"? "
" YES! " Goku said happily, getting up.
" TOO BAD! We can't help you! " the TV said cheerfully as Goku frowned and slumped back in his chair.
" But we CAN make you feel better about your condition. " the TV added, " Just send--how much money do
you have son? "
" Two dollars and 30 cents. " Goku answered back.
" Just send two dollars and 30 cents to the Oops Corperation and we'll send you our "cheer-me-up" audio
tape. Guaranteed to make you feel better in no time! "
Goku scratched his chin for a second, then nodded & lept to his feet, " I'LL DO IT! "
" Thank you for choosing the Oops "cheer-me-up" audio tape, remember, if it's made by Oops, it's not our
problem--it's yours. " the audio tape said as Goku adujusted his headphones. He picked the unconsious Chi-Chi up
& headed for the bedroom where he promptly plopped her down on her side. Goku hopped into bed & turned up the
volume on the audio tape.
" Are you a victim of Insta-grow? " the tape asked.
" Yup! " Goku responded.
" Well don't worry. " the calm voice on the tape answered, " All your problems will be solved...by the
way, do you have any insurance? "
" No. "
" Good. " the tape said, " Now repeat after me, 'my mustache is NOT ugly'. "
" My mustache is NOT ugly. "
" My mustache is very handsome. "
" My mustache is very handsome. "
" I will not file a lawsuit against Oops Co. "
" I will not file a lawsuit against Oops Co. "
" Those who see my mustache as disqusting are merely jealous of my beauty. "
" Those who see my mustache as disqusting are merely jealous of my beauty... "
" Ohhh, my head. " Chi-Chi sat up, " Hey, how'd I get back in bed? What time is it? What happene--*gasp*
GOKU! THE MUSTACHE! " she jumped out of bed, only to find a head-set sitting on Goku's side of the bed, " GOKU!"
she shouted as she raced out of the room and past the bathroom doorway, only to stop infront of it to see Goku
standing before the mirror inside.
" Oh THANK GOD there you arRRRR!! " Chi-Chi shrieked as Goku turned towards her, holding a comb that was
half-way down his mustache, " IT'S REAL! IT WASN'T A DREAM! "
" Of course it's real, " Goku smiled boastfully, " How could a thing this luxerious NOT be real? "
Chi-Chi looked at him funny, " Goku you feelin alright? " she said flatly.
" Mmm-hmm! In fact, I feel wonderful. And so does MuuMuu. Right MuuMuu? " he said, still brushing the
mustache.
" "muumuu"? Who's "muumuu"? "
Goku pointed to his mustache.
" You...named it? "
" Yes. "
" You named your mustache. "
" Yes. "
" MuuMuu. "
" Yes. "
Chi-Chi sweatdropped, " That's it, I'm getting the razor and we're shaving that sucker off right now. "
Goku zipped infront of her, " WE ARE _NOT_! "
" We are TOO. " Chi-Chi said, getting her own razor out.
" I beg to differ. MuuMuu's beautiful hair is so invincible that your simple razor would NEVER be able
to meet the sharpness qualifications needed to detach its gorgeous follicles from my skin. " Goku smirked at her.
" ... " Chi-Chi blinked, " Wha? "
" I would LOVE to stay and chit-chat with you, but if you wish to continue to revel in MuuMuu's infinate
lovelyness you can meet us at the round building you like to call the Cap-see-ule Corperation. Toodles! " Goku
bowed to her slightly, then teleported away.
Chi-Chi stood there for a second in shock, then powered up, snarling angrily, " OOOH!!! VEGETA!!! "
" I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID BUT WHATEVER YOU DID YOU BETTER UNDO IT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL UNDO YOU--INTO
LITTLE PIECES!! " Chi-Chi roared in Vegeta's face as she stood over the prince in his living room.
" I...I...I... " Vegeta shivered, " WHAT DID _I_ DO! "
" YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT YOU DID! MY GOKU JUST LEFT THE HOUSE ACTING SNOTTIER THAN YOU! " Chi-Chi
exclaimed.
" ...I have NO idea what you're talking about. " Vegeta crossed his arms, " The last time _I_ saw
Kakarrot he was blubbering over his stupid mustache. "
" BLUBBERING?! HA! " Chi-Chi scoffed at him, " HE WAS PRACTICALLY _WORSHIPPING_ THAT STUPID MUSTACHE
THIS MORNING! "
" Really? That's strange. " Vegeta scratched his head, " He was crying like a big baby because I couldn't
get it to come off him. Poor little Kakay.. " he sniffled, " AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT _YOU'RE_ TALKING ABOUT, BUT
KAKARROT DOESN'T HAVE AN EGOTISTICAL BONE IN HIS BODY! "
" Yeah, well he's got one buried in that mustache of his, that's for sure. " Chi-Chi grumbled, " Say, "
she said, changing the subject, " He said he was coming over here, have you seen him? "
" If I had, I would've been able to answer your FIRST question. " Vegeta narrowed his eyes at her.
" HEY TOUSSAN! LOOK AT ME! " Mirai shouted from up atop the staircase. Vegeta looked up to see Mirai's
entire head covered with hair, with the exception of his eyeballs. "
Vegeta & Chi-Chi sweatdropped.
" Insta-grow...Mirai? " Vegeta muttered up at him.
" Yeah...how did you know? "
" Trunks, son, what did you intend to accomplish by using hair-grow formula on your entire head? " Vegeta
said calmly.
" Well, Son-San introduced it to me, and I figured, if I'm gonna shave once in my life, why not go all
out! " Mirai said proudly.
" Should I tell him or should you? " Vegeta turned to Chi-Chi.
" ? " Chi-Chi looked at him inquizzitively.
" Eh, better leave him to find out on his own. " Vegeta smirked, " Not my problem. "
" MIRAI! " Chi-Chi called up to him, " IS GOKU IN THERE WITH YOU? "
Mirai nodded, " Yeah! "
" TELL HIM TO GET HIS BUTT DOWN HERE RIGHT--now. " Chi-Chi sweatdropped as Goku instantly teleported in
front of her. His mustache now had two little pink bows on each of its tips.
" Yes? " he looked down at her.
Vegeta stared at Goku, then burst into laughter, " AHAHAHAHAHAHA! KAKARROT YOU SHOULD SEE YOURSELF IN
A MIRROR! " he laughed, " AHAHAHAHAHA..ha..ha...did little B-chan put those bows on your mustache? I, *chuckle*
have to say, *chuckle*, she did a good job. HAHAHAHAHA! "
" --_I_ put them there. " Goku glared at Vegeta, interupting him.
" HAHA--huh? " Vegeta froze.
" You INSIGNIFICANT little slime-bucket. " he sent a cold-glare down at the ouji, " You wouldn't know
good taste if it hit you in the face you short little plebeian. " Goku turned around and headed back up the steps
, " Come MuuMuu, we'll groom you some more. "
Vegeta stood there, watching Goku go back up the steps. His eyes beginning to water, " Kaka-chan called
me a SLIME-BUCKET! " he started to sob.
Chi-Chi stared into space, gape-mouthed.
" Ohhhohhohh, Kaka-chan I've lost you to a clump of HAIR! " Vegeta cried in dispair. Chi-Chi narrowed her
eyes, " I was a good little buddy! I never wanted to hurt you!---much. OHHHHHHH KAKAYYYYYY! "
" We haven't lost him. " Chi-Chi said, then looked at the ground, " But I'm going to need help to get
rid of that mustache of his for good. " she glanced over at Vegeta.
" You're suggesting that we join forces? " Vegeta raised an eyebrow.
Chi-Chi cringed in disqust, " As much as I dislike you Vegeta, you ARE the only other person around who's
as worried about Goku and yet as forceful upon him as I am. "
" You mean you have a plan to save my big buddy? " his eyes widened.
" Maybe. " Chi-Chi answered, " If you're willing to put up a temporary truce between us. "
" Will it get Kaka-chan back? "
" Yes. I think it will. " Chi-Chi glanced over at him, smirking.
" Oh-kay, I guess. " Vegeta grumbled.
Chi-Chi held out her hand towards him, " Truce? "
Vegeta shook her hand, " Truce. "
*************************************************************************************************
9:55 PM 1/23/02
END OF PART ONE
Goku: (gulps) Chi-chan and Veggie BOTH plotting against me? That's a dangerous combination.
Chuquita: (smiles) Actually I think this story is going to work out VERY well. [looks around]
(confused) Hey, where IS Veggie?
Vegeta: [w/Bura on his back] Hi! [sits down & sets Bura on a seat inbetween Goku & himself]
Chuquita: (raises an eyebrow) Vedge?...
Vegeta: What?
Chuquita: What're those things in your hair?
Vegeta: (glances up at the wreath around his head) Daisies.
Chuquita: (flatly) Daisies?
Vegeta: (shrugs like its nothing)
Chuquita: (glances over at Bura suspicously) Uh--huh...
Goku: I think they look VERY PRETTY in Veggie's hair, don't you Chu-sama?
Chuquita: Pretty.....riiiight.
Bura: (to Goku) I could braid some flowers in your hair too if you want, Mr. Goten's Daddy. (smiles sweetly)
Chuquita: (pinches her nose) Please don't...I have bad enough allergies as it is. The last thing I need is both
Veggie AND Son-San stenching up the place with pollen!
Bura: (eyes glow red) (angrily) WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Chuquita: (gulps) I, uh, I meant, go ahead, whatever you feel like doing. Do it.
Bura: (sweetly) Why thank you Lady Chu-chan!
Chuquita: (sighs) Uh-huh... [leans her hand against her cheek & stares off into space]
Bura: [hums to herself and gets to work braiding daisies into Goku's hair]
Vegeta: [peers his head infront of her] Hey Chu?
Chuquita: Eh?
Vegeta: You feeling alright?
Chuquita: Oh, I'm fine Veggie, just fine--EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT MY CORNER IS BEING TAKEN OVER BY AN EIGHT
YEAR OLD LITTLE GIRL WITH PSYCHIC POWERS THAT FAR EXCEED MY OWN!
Vegeta: (cocks his head)
Chuquita: AND _YOU_! SHE'S USING HER POWERS TO TAKE OVER YOU AND SON-SAN'S MINDS AND YOU DON'T GIVE A DAM ONE
WAY OR THE OTHER!
Vegeta: (confused) B-chan's controlling our minds?
Chuquita: [points to Veggie's flower-wreath]
Vegeta: (even more confused) How did THAT get there?
Chuquita: (irritated) I told you already! BURA PUT IT THERE!
Vegeta: (eyes widen with excitement) B-chan's here?!
Chuquita: (groans) Ohhhh! [to audiance] Stay tuned for Part 2 of Mustacheo, that is if I live that long....
E-mail: lac31685@aol.com
By: Chuquita
Quote of the Week: "She was an acrobat's daughter, she swung through the air by a noose,
until one day, her bridgework gave way, and she flew through the air like a goose." -Daffy Duck
Chuey's Corner:
Chuquita: (happily) Hello everybody and welcome to another edition of the Corner.
Vegeta: How many of these things have we done anyway?
Goku: (shrugs)
Chuquita: How would I know? I'm not countin.
Goku: 54.
Vegeta: (grumbles) It feels more like 54 HUNDRED!
Chuquita: Oh shut up! (to audiance) Today we have a special guest with us.
Vegeta: (grins) It's my little B-chan!
Bura: HI! [waves, sitting next to Vegeta]
Vegeta: (happily) [to Chu] B-chan's turning 8 years old next week! (squeals) Isn't that GREAT!
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) (sarcasm) Marvelous.
Bura: (glares at Chu, eyes glowing red) You better not be mean to me!
Chuquita: (laughs nervously) Heh-heh-heh, of course not! Why would I! You're so small, and cute,
and have super-strong psychic powers.
Bura: (smiles) Why thank you. [waves to Goku] Hi Mr. Goten's Daddy! Why don't you sit next to me
& Toussan?
Chuquita: [grabs at Goku's ear] (whispering) Son-San! DON'T. I need someone over here in case
she starts screwing with our minds.
Goku: Well...
Vegeta: (to Bura) (whining) Little B-chan! You don't REALLY want Kakarrot over here do you? He's
full of those nasty little Kako-cooties of his.
Bura: But Toussan? I thought you and Mr. Goten's Daddy were 'buddies'?
Goku: (eyes welling up with tears) Veggie doesn't wanna be my little buddy anymore? *sniffles*
Vegeta: ACK! I DIDN'T SAY THAT!
Bura: Toussan! You made poor Mr. Goten's Daddy cry!
Vegeta: (stuttering) But, but I didn't mean to, I didn't say I, I mean, he's, I NEVER SAID THAT!
Goku: (sniffles) Veh-gee?
Bura: (smiles at Veggie) Go on Toussan! Give Mr. Goten's Daddy a hug! He'll feel better!
Chuquita: [zips over to Veggie] Vedge! Hello! She's USING YOU!
Vegeta: (in a faraway voice) My poor little Kaka-chan...
Chuquita: (groans) Ugh, you're hopeless. [zips over to Goku] Son-kun! Veggie's not mad at you!
Bura just made a statement!
Goku: [not listening] My sweet little buddy Veggie-chan.
Bura: (smiles happily)
Chuquita: (to Goku) SINCE WHEN IS HE "Veggie-chan"! I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU CALL HIM THAT!
[glares back & forth between Son & Veggie] AAUGH! [sends a fist down on each of their heads]
Goku: (confused) ...
Vegeta: (also confused) ...
Bura: (giggles at them)
Chuquita: YOU TWO CUT THAT OUT!
Goku: Whad I do?
Vegeta: (turns to Bura & grins) HEY! My little B-chan's here! Look Kakarrot! It's B-chan!
Chuquita: (raises an eyebrow at Bura) Something tells me was NOT a good idea...
Summary: What would Son Goku look like with facial hair? That's exactly what the saiyajin intends
to find out. After he uses some insta-grow beneath his nose he sprouts a big bushy mustache--AND
an ego the match Vegeta's. Now the gang has to find a way to get rid of the furry black monster
before they lose the real Goku for good!
Chuquita: BTW, if you wanna see a picture of how funny Goku DOES look w/a mustache, Toriyama
actually drew one. It's in the interview section on Planetnamek. Son's an old man in the picture,
but it can give you an idea.
*************************************************************************************************
" Brushin my teeth! Brushing my teeth! Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm! " Goku hummed cheerfully to
himself as he squeezed more toothpaste onto his brush and stuck it back in his mouth. He glanced
down at the counter, then spied an unknown tube of something & picked it up with his free hand,
" Insta-grow hair grower. HAIR--the easy way. " he read off the tube, then rinsed his mouth out &
put his toothbrush back.
" I wonder where THIS came from? " Goku pondered as Gohan walked by the bathroom door,
" Hi son! Nice beard! " he waved.
" Thanks Dad! "
::Strange, Gohan didn't have a beard this morning...:: Goku trailed off, then opened the
tube of Insta-grow & put a dab on his finger, then shrieked as the entire tip of his finger instantly
sprouted hair.
" Hey, lookin sharp little pinky! " he grinned, then looked at himself in the mirror, " Hmmm... "
he glanced back down at the tube, " I wonder... "
" Goku, take that newspaper out from infront of your face, it's been there ever since you came
to breakfast! " Chi-Chi said, sitting across from him at the kitchen table.
" Umm, Chi-Chi? "
" Yes Goku? " she replied in a tired voice.
" Chi-Chi, what do you think I'd look like with a mustache? " Goku asked nervously from behind
the newspaper.
Chi-Chi thought for a moment, visualizing Goku grinning with a big fat mustache overtop his
grin and almost burst into laughter before catching herself, " Well, *chuckle* I wouldn't know. " she
answered, " Why would you ask a silly question like that? "
" Well...I was...thinking...of growing one? " Goku stammered out.
" Goku, you can't grow facial hair, even if you wanted to. Saiyajins don't grow hair on their
faces. " Chi-Chi said.
" They...don't. "
" No, that's what you said Vegeta told you. " she said, then glared out the window, " Althrough
I wouldn't be surprised if that little RAT was lying...but you've never grown any before. "
" What if I did? "
" Then I could safely say Vegeta lied to you about it. " Chi-Chi answered, " And WHY are you asking
me all these questions about mustaches ANYWAY! "
Goku pulled the paper down & pointed to a long black bushy thing under his nose, " Because I have one. "
Chi-Chi stared at him for a moment in shock, then screamed, " AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! " she regained her
composure, then stomped over to him, " GOKU! DON'T YOU _DARE_ SCARE ME LIKE THAT! NOW TAKE THAT PHONEY THING
OFF! " she said, grabbing the mustache.
" AHHH! TEETEE BY DOSE! " Goku wailed in a garbled voice as Chi-Chi grabbed his nose with one hand &
the mustache with the other and pulled it as hard as she could, but to no avail.
" ... " Chi-Chi stared at him, her jaw hanging out.
" So, heh-heh, Whadda ya think? "
" *THUMP!* " Chi-Chi's unconsious body hit the floor.
Goku sweatdropped, " That can't be a good sign. "
"*DING*DONG* "
" He-LLOOO! Anybody home! " Goku knocked on the door to Capsule Corp.
" Hi Son-San! " Mirai smiled, opening the door. His eyes widened at the sight of the taller saiyajin's
mustache, " ... "
" Hey Mirai! What's new? " he said cheerfully.
" *THUMP!* "
" Hmm? " Goku looked down at Mirai, who was now also unconsious, " It must be contagious. " he said as
he walked by Mirai and sat down on the couch in the living room in front of the TV. He grinned eagerly at the
sleeping ouji next to him. A long trail of drool dribbled out the side of Vegeta's mouth & onto the carpet.
Goku giggled.
" Goodmorning little buddy. " he bent over so he was nose-to-nose with the ouji.
" Eh? " Vegeta mumbled, slowly opening his eyes, " Goodmorning Kaka--AHH! " Vegeta shrieked, kicking
him away, " YOU'RE NOT MY KAKA-CHAN! "
" Awww, I'm your "kaka-chan" now little buddy? " Goku said w/big sparkily eyes, " Somebody must be in
an awful good mood to call me that! "
The ouji stared at him in horror, then grabbed Goku's mustache, ready to yank it off.
" AHH VEGGIE NO! " Goku screamed, then wailed as he felt the hairs above his lip surge with pain, " STOP
VEGGIE STOP!!!! IT'S REAL IT'S REAL IT'S REAL!!! "
Vegeta pulled his hand away, confused, " Kuh--Kakarrotto? "
" Yes, "Kakarrotto"! " Goku grumbled, annoyied as he rubbed his aching mustache, " Geez you're as bad
as Chi-Chi! "
" What the heck is that coming out of your nose! " Vegeta exclaimed, " It looks like a deformed
caterpillar. " he smirked.
" Haha, very funny. " Goku rolled his eyes, " For your information, it's a mustache and it's VERY
sofishdicated. "
" Sophisticated. " Vegeta corrected him.
" That's what I said. " Goku looked at him, baffled.
" Uh-huh. "
" Anyways, only the most sofishdicated people can grow mustaches. " Goku boasted.
" Where did you hear THAT? "
" TV. "
Vegeta looked at him odd, " But we're saiyajins, we can't grow facial hair! "
" That's only you. _I_ on the other hand, am SOOOO sofishdicated that I can EASILY grow a mustache, "
he grinned. Vegeta self-consiously rubbed his finger above his own upper lip, " WITH-the-help-of-insta-grow-hair
-grower-anyway. " Goku quickly added.
" Why would you want one anyway! " Vegeta yelled at him.
" ...because it's sofishdicated. "
" It's stupid! It looks stupid on you! You look like a fool with a big fat black booger hanging out his
nose! " Vegeta growled.
" Buh--buh--buh Veh-GEEEE! " Goku's eyes started to water. Vegeta glared back at him, " Veggie's a
meanie! " Goku sniffled, then paused, " Don't you feel bad for me? "
" It also makes you look UGLY too. " Vegeta continued to glare at him, not a single apologetic flinch
in him.
Goku's eyes filled with tears for a second time, " Veggie doesn't think I'm cute anymore? "
" No. " Vegeta said bluntly, then turned his attention back to the TV. Goku sat there in silence for
several seconds, then screamed.
" I DON'T WANNA BE UGLY!!! " he wailed, then grabbed Vegeta's wrist, " QUICK! TO THE BATHROOM! "
" Are you sure you're doing this right? " Goku said, trying to keep his sniffles to a minimum as Vegeta
squirted more whipped cream onto the bigger saiyajin's face.
" OF _COURSE_ I'M DOING THIS RIGHT! NOW DO YOU _WANT_ TO BE AN UGLY MUSTACHEO-ED IDIOT FOREVER OR DO YOU
WANNA GO BACK TO BEING A DISQUSTINGLY CUTE UN-MUSTACHEO-ED IDIOT! "
" Umm... " Goku thought for a second, " What are my choices again? "
" URRG! " Vegeta growled, " YOU'RE GLAD I'M HELPING YOU WITH THIS! I COULD'VE STAYED DOWNSTAIRS WATCHING
TV AND LET YOU SUFFER LIKE THIS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! "
" Awwwwwwww, Veggie loves me! "
The ouji's face turned bright red with embarassment, " I DO NOT! " he shouted at him, " God! Kakarrot,
ONLY YOU would be stupid enough to screw up your own face this bad! "
" I didn't screw it up! " Goku protested, " I just made it more so-- "
" Say it again and I'll blast your entire HEAD off RIGHT NOW! " Vegeta snarled. He looked around the
room, then grabbed electric razor & turned it on.
" There we go! " he grinned at the shiny, sharp, spinning metal razor, then turned back to Goku, who
was staring at the razor in pure terror, " Now sit back! " he ordered.
" Veggie, for the last time, " Goku said nervously, " You _DO_ know what you're doing--right! "
" YES I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! I'VE SEEN THIS DONE ON COMMERCIALS ALL THE TIME! "
" But have you actually ever used one before? "
" No. "
" AHHHHHH!!! " Goku shrieked, then yelped in a muffled voice as Vegeta covered the bigger saiyajin's
mouth with one hand & held the one carrying the razor towards Goku's mustache. He pushed the razor towards the
mustache only to have several of the blades break on contact with the thick hair. Vegeta growled and pushed
the razor ahead as hard as he could, then let out a scream of bloody murder.
" OhhhHHHHHhhh! MY FINGERRRRR! " Vegeta sobbed as he held his the razor-sliced finger under the cold
water, " THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! " he shouted, pointing at Goku, " YOU ALMOST MADE ME CHOP MY WHOLE FINGER OFF!"
" But Veggie, that thing is so small, it's hardly a paper-cut. " Goku interupted, his mustache still in
tact.
" SHUT UP! " Vegeta snapped at him, then went back to tending his finger, " YOU STUPID MUSTACHED-FREAK!"
Goku cupped his hands over his mouth & nose, " Veggie HATES me? "
Vegeta glanced over at him, then sniffled, " I don't hate you Kaka-chan. " he said in a small voice.
" You DON'T? " Goku smiled, taking his hands off from over his face, revealing his nose, mouth, and the
long fat mustache between them.
Vegeta returned to glaring at him, " That thing is a real turn-off, you know that? " he said flatly.
" It's the MUSTACHE, ISN'T IT! " Goku yelped.
" Kakarrot, it ruins your whole face. " Vegeta nodded truthfully.
" Whhaa... " Goku's eyes watered again. His head suddenly bolted up, " HEY! Nappa had a mustache didn't
he? That means saiyajins CAN have facial hair! And if we can get it, we can get rid of it! "
Vegeta sighed, " Nappa wasn't able to get rid of his either. "
" But--didn't he grow it naturally? " Goku said, confused.
" Eh? If I remember right, he ordered something through the mail called "Insta--"something or other. "
Vegeta shrugged, " Insta--uhhh... "
" --grow? " Goku squeaked out.
" YEAH! THAT'S IT! " Vegeta grinned, " Insta-grow! "
" Ha--how did he get rid of it? " Goku gulped.
" Couldn't. Tried everything short of pulling it out by the roots. That crap was stuck on there FOREVER!
"
*forever*forever*forever* Goku shivered as the word echoed in his head.
" AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! " he screamed at the top of his lungs in fright, running around the room in
circles. He screeched to a halt infront of Vegeta and pulled him up to his height by the collar, " OHHHH!
VEGGIE-VEGGIE-VEGGIE! THAT'S WHAT _I_ USED FOR MY MUSTACHE! " Goku said, worried.
" Kakarrot you boob. " Vegeta narrowed his eyes at him. Goku dropped the ouji to the floor.
" OH NO OH NO OH NO! NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE REST OF MY LIFE BEING _UGLY_ AND
_UNATTRACTIVE_ AND _UNCUTE_! " he held both sides of his head, his body gearing up to cry all over again.
" Yeah...too bad. " Vegeta said, getting up, " I'd sympathize with you Kakarrot, but, uhh, I'd rather
not catch anything from you. Like a BEARD or something. " he said, leaving the room.
" VEGGIE DON'T GO! PLEASE VEGGIE PLEASE! " Goku tackled him to the ground. Vegeta glared at him, then
stood up and made his way downstairs, pulling Goku down behind him.
" Too late, I'm going. "
" NOOOOOHHOOOOHOOOOOOOOO! I NEED YOUR HELP! I NEED TO GET RID OF THIS MONSTROCITY! IT MADE CHI-CHAN
_FAINT_! IT MADE _MIRAI_ FAINT! " he held on tighter.
" ERRR! KAKARROT LET GO! " Vegeta shouted, then grabbed Goku's hands & yanked him off. He froze, then
stared at Goku's right pinky, " Is that HAIR on your FINGER, Kakarrot? " he raised an eyebrow.
Goku nodded innocently.
" Why am I not surprised. " Vegeta said dryly.
" Veggie you'll help me won't you! Please say you're still helping me! " Goku begged him.
" Kakarrot, take your ugly face, and your hairy finger, and GET OUT! " Vegeta said, pushing him out the
front door.
" But VEH-GEEEEEEE! " Goku cried, " I DON'T WANNA BE UGLY! "
Vegeta sighed, " Don't think of it as being 'ugly', Kakarrot. " he smirked, " Think of it as being,
"soFISHdicated". " he said, then slammed the door behind him.
Goku sighed, " Ohhhh... "
" This isn't fair. " Goku pouted as he sat in his own kitchen, staring at the small, luminous TV screen
that was seated across the room from him. He stepped over the still unconsious Chi-Chi & turned the TV on.
" Hello 'friend', " the infomercial said as Goku sat down again, " Do you unsightly nose hair, bunions,
or a freakishly large mustache induced by the product "Insta-grow"? "
" YES! " Goku said happily, getting up.
" TOO BAD! We can't help you! " the TV said cheerfully as Goku frowned and slumped back in his chair.
" But we CAN make you feel better about your condition. " the TV added, " Just send--how much money do
you have son? "
" Two dollars and 30 cents. " Goku answered back.
" Just send two dollars and 30 cents to the Oops Corperation and we'll send you our "cheer-me-up" audio
tape. Guaranteed to make you feel better in no time! "
Goku scratched his chin for a second, then nodded & lept to his feet, " I'LL DO IT! "
" Thank you for choosing the Oops "cheer-me-up" audio tape, remember, if it's made by Oops, it's not our
problem--it's yours. " the audio tape said as Goku adujusted his headphones. He picked the unconsious Chi-Chi up
& headed for the bedroom where he promptly plopped her down on her side. Goku hopped into bed & turned up the
volume on the audio tape.
" Are you a victim of Insta-grow? " the tape asked.
" Yup! " Goku responded.
" Well don't worry. " the calm voice on the tape answered, " All your problems will be solved...by the
way, do you have any insurance? "
" No. "
" Good. " the tape said, " Now repeat after me, 'my mustache is NOT ugly'. "
" My mustache is NOT ugly. "
" My mustache is very handsome. "
" My mustache is very handsome. "
" I will not file a lawsuit against Oops Co. "
" I will not file a lawsuit against Oops Co. "
" Those who see my mustache as disqusting are merely jealous of my beauty. "
" Those who see my mustache as disqusting are merely jealous of my beauty... "
" Ohhh, my head. " Chi-Chi sat up, " Hey, how'd I get back in bed? What time is it? What happene--*gasp*
GOKU! THE MUSTACHE! " she jumped out of bed, only to find a head-set sitting on Goku's side of the bed, " GOKU!"
she shouted as she raced out of the room and past the bathroom doorway, only to stop infront of it to see Goku
standing before the mirror inside.
" Oh THANK GOD there you arRRRR!! " Chi-Chi shrieked as Goku turned towards her, holding a comb that was
half-way down his mustache, " IT'S REAL! IT WASN'T A DREAM! "
" Of course it's real, " Goku smiled boastfully, " How could a thing this luxerious NOT be real? "
Chi-Chi looked at him funny, " Goku you feelin alright? " she said flatly.
" Mmm-hmm! In fact, I feel wonderful. And so does MuuMuu. Right MuuMuu? " he said, still brushing the
mustache.
" "muumuu"? Who's "muumuu"? "
Goku pointed to his mustache.
" You...named it? "
" Yes. "
" You named your mustache. "
" Yes. "
" MuuMuu. "
" Yes. "
Chi-Chi sweatdropped, " That's it, I'm getting the razor and we're shaving that sucker off right now. "
Goku zipped infront of her, " WE ARE _NOT_! "
" We are TOO. " Chi-Chi said, getting her own razor out.
" I beg to differ. MuuMuu's beautiful hair is so invincible that your simple razor would NEVER be able
to meet the sharpness qualifications needed to detach its gorgeous follicles from my skin. " Goku smirked at her.
" ... " Chi-Chi blinked, " Wha? "
" I would LOVE to stay and chit-chat with you, but if you wish to continue to revel in MuuMuu's infinate
lovelyness you can meet us at the round building you like to call the Cap-see-ule Corperation. Toodles! " Goku
bowed to her slightly, then teleported away.
Chi-Chi stood there for a second in shock, then powered up, snarling angrily, " OOOH!!! VEGETA!!! "
" I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID BUT WHATEVER YOU DID YOU BETTER UNDO IT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL UNDO YOU--INTO
LITTLE PIECES!! " Chi-Chi roared in Vegeta's face as she stood over the prince in his living room.
" I...I...I... " Vegeta shivered, " WHAT DID _I_ DO! "
" YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT YOU DID! MY GOKU JUST LEFT THE HOUSE ACTING SNOTTIER THAN YOU! " Chi-Chi
exclaimed.
" ...I have NO idea what you're talking about. " Vegeta crossed his arms, " The last time _I_ saw
Kakarrot he was blubbering over his stupid mustache. "
" BLUBBERING?! HA! " Chi-Chi scoffed at him, " HE WAS PRACTICALLY _WORSHIPPING_ THAT STUPID MUSTACHE
THIS MORNING! "
" Really? That's strange. " Vegeta scratched his head, " He was crying like a big baby because I couldn't
get it to come off him. Poor little Kakay.. " he sniffled, " AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT _YOU'RE_ TALKING ABOUT, BUT
KAKARROT DOESN'T HAVE AN EGOTISTICAL BONE IN HIS BODY! "
" Yeah, well he's got one buried in that mustache of his, that's for sure. " Chi-Chi grumbled, " Say, "
she said, changing the subject, " He said he was coming over here, have you seen him? "
" If I had, I would've been able to answer your FIRST question. " Vegeta narrowed his eyes at her.
" HEY TOUSSAN! LOOK AT ME! " Mirai shouted from up atop the staircase. Vegeta looked up to see Mirai's
entire head covered with hair, with the exception of his eyeballs. "
Vegeta & Chi-Chi sweatdropped.
" Insta-grow...Mirai? " Vegeta muttered up at him.
" Yeah...how did you know? "
" Trunks, son, what did you intend to accomplish by using hair-grow formula on your entire head? " Vegeta
said calmly.
" Well, Son-San introduced it to me, and I figured, if I'm gonna shave once in my life, why not go all
out! " Mirai said proudly.
" Should I tell him or should you? " Vegeta turned to Chi-Chi.
" ? " Chi-Chi looked at him inquizzitively.
" Eh, better leave him to find out on his own. " Vegeta smirked, " Not my problem. "
" MIRAI! " Chi-Chi called up to him, " IS GOKU IN THERE WITH YOU? "
Mirai nodded, " Yeah! "
" TELL HIM TO GET HIS BUTT DOWN HERE RIGHT--now. " Chi-Chi sweatdropped as Goku instantly teleported in
front of her. His mustache now had two little pink bows on each of its tips.
" Yes? " he looked down at her.
Vegeta stared at Goku, then burst into laughter, " AHAHAHAHAHAHA! KAKARROT YOU SHOULD SEE YOURSELF IN
A MIRROR! " he laughed, " AHAHAHAHAHA..ha..ha...did little B-chan put those bows on your mustache? I, *chuckle*
have to say, *chuckle*, she did a good job. HAHAHAHAHA! "
" --_I_ put them there. " Goku glared at Vegeta, interupting him.
" HAHA--huh? " Vegeta froze.
" You INSIGNIFICANT little slime-bucket. " he sent a cold-glare down at the ouji, " You wouldn't know
good taste if it hit you in the face you short little plebeian. " Goku turned around and headed back up the steps
, " Come MuuMuu, we'll groom you some more. "
Vegeta stood there, watching Goku go back up the steps. His eyes beginning to water, " Kaka-chan called
me a SLIME-BUCKET! " he started to sob.
Chi-Chi stared into space, gape-mouthed.
" Ohhhohhohh, Kaka-chan I've lost you to a clump of HAIR! " Vegeta cried in dispair. Chi-Chi narrowed her
eyes, " I was a good little buddy! I never wanted to hurt you!---much. OHHHHHHH KAKAYYYYYY! "
" We haven't lost him. " Chi-Chi said, then looked at the ground, " But I'm going to need help to get
rid of that mustache of his for good. " she glanced over at Vegeta.
" You're suggesting that we join forces? " Vegeta raised an eyebrow.
Chi-Chi cringed in disqust, " As much as I dislike you Vegeta, you ARE the only other person around who's
as worried about Goku and yet as forceful upon him as I am. "
" You mean you have a plan to save my big buddy? " his eyes widened.
" Maybe. " Chi-Chi answered, " If you're willing to put up a temporary truce between us. "
" Will it get Kaka-chan back? "
" Yes. I think it will. " Chi-Chi glanced over at him, smirking.
" Oh-kay, I guess. " Vegeta grumbled.
Chi-Chi held out her hand towards him, " Truce? "
Vegeta shook her hand, " Truce. "
*************************************************************************************************
9:55 PM 1/23/02
END OF PART ONE
Goku: (gulps) Chi-chan and Veggie BOTH plotting against me? That's a dangerous combination.
Chuquita: (smiles) Actually I think this story is going to work out VERY well. [looks around]
(confused) Hey, where IS Veggie?
Vegeta: [w/Bura on his back] Hi! [sits down & sets Bura on a seat inbetween Goku & himself]
Chuquita: (raises an eyebrow) Vedge?...
Vegeta: What?
Chuquita: What're those things in your hair?
Vegeta: (glances up at the wreath around his head) Daisies.
Chuquita: (flatly) Daisies?
Vegeta: (shrugs like its nothing)
Chuquita: (glances over at Bura suspicously) Uh--huh...
Goku: I think they look VERY PRETTY in Veggie's hair, don't you Chu-sama?
Chuquita: Pretty.....riiiight.
Bura: (to Goku) I could braid some flowers in your hair too if you want, Mr. Goten's Daddy. (smiles sweetly)
Chuquita: (pinches her nose) Please don't...I have bad enough allergies as it is. The last thing I need is both
Veggie AND Son-San stenching up the place with pollen!
Bura: (eyes glow red) (angrily) WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Chuquita: (gulps) I, uh, I meant, go ahead, whatever you feel like doing. Do it.
Bura: (sweetly) Why thank you Lady Chu-chan!
Chuquita: (sighs) Uh-huh... [leans her hand against her cheek & stares off into space]
Bura: [hums to herself and gets to work braiding daisies into Goku's hair]
Vegeta: [peers his head infront of her] Hey Chu?
Chuquita: Eh?
Vegeta: You feeling alright?
Chuquita: Oh, I'm fine Veggie, just fine--EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT MY CORNER IS BEING TAKEN OVER BY AN EIGHT
YEAR OLD LITTLE GIRL WITH PSYCHIC POWERS THAT FAR EXCEED MY OWN!
Vegeta: (cocks his head)
Chuquita: AND _YOU_! SHE'S USING HER POWERS TO TAKE OVER YOU AND SON-SAN'S MINDS AND YOU DON'T GIVE A DAM ONE
WAY OR THE OTHER!
Vegeta: (confused) B-chan's controlling our minds?
Chuquita: [points to Veggie's flower-wreath]
Vegeta: (even more confused) How did THAT get there?
Chuquita: (irritated) I told you already! BURA PUT IT THERE!
Vegeta: (eyes widen with excitement) B-chan's here?!
Chuquita: (groans) Ohhhh! [to audiance] Stay tuned for Part 2 of Mustacheo, that is if I live that long....