Axel expected to die, but he's somehow still conscious. When he's rejected by his somebody something draws him into another world entirely. A story about Axel and Reno. Will be yaoi in later chapters fyi. M for swearing and later chapter smut.

Somebody, Somewhere

Dissolution wasn't painful but he hadn't expected consciousness. Roxas? he thought, Are you there? I only wanted to see you again. Sora?

Was it worth it? Why had he done it? Because it was something, rather than nothing. Because they said he had no heart, but sometimes he felt something – interest – amusement – affection? - and he'd always been one to throw himself into things whole-heartedly - as Lea, as Axel – that hadn't changed. When you put your whole being into something – and still they said you had no heart – what then?

What now? He was conscious, but he had no body. No heart, no body – he could hear his own laughter in his mind, and yet he had no voice, no brain. What do you call a Nobody with no body? Isa might have come up with an answer. Saix might. Is there a letter for this… condition? X was for the Nobodies – Xemnas and his X-Blade obsession – what letter would represent this state of conscious nothingness? Z – for Zero? He tried out permutations: Zaxel, Lazex, Zexal, Zlaxe. The letters stopped making sounds after a while – drifted, meaningless, disassociated from whatever they had ever represented.

No. Axel. Got it memorized?

But – you were Lea first. What happened to Lea? Did he die when you lost your heart? Well – of course – nobody can live without a heart. Somebodies can't, anyway. But if Lea died, and Axel died, then why can you still think? Does that mean Lea is here somewhere too – a drifting consciousness? Dead, but still somehow aware?

Lea? Lea?

Axel found that he had no awareness of time. Thoughts moved through whatever it was that now constituted his mind. He was aware of a huge and massy silence surrounding him. There seemed to be no other consciousnesses here – or at least none that he could connect with. That realisation made him feel dread and loneliness. He felt the two emotions, distinct as contrasting flavours or clashing colours – remembered the feelings from long ago, when he'd been somebody.

How can you feel with no heart and no body? But – I remember - this is fear. I don't want to feel fear. This can't be my eternity – flooded with emotions I couldn't feel as a Nobody! Is it a punishment, for the things I did? Is it a kind of hell?

Something else was with him, in the darkness, or the light. He had no sense of sight in this place – only thought and memory.

Lea?

Lea's voice – his own voice, but younger sounding – echoed clear in his consciousness, although he had no hearing – no sense of sound as vibration. It felt like a memory of things Lea might have said – might say.

Lea's voice was full of emotions – none of them positive.

You! I – gave in? The darkness! Keep away from me! You're not me!

I'm your Nobody, Axel said – or thought.

You're everything I fought! I'm me – Lea – got it memorized? I'm immortal – you're nothing. Leave me alone! Where's Isa?

Axel felt emotions when he heard that name – or, at least, remembered having once felt them. Isa. Saix. Friendship. Sorrow.

Wherever Isa is, he's not here. But Lea - if we joined together, we might be whole –

No! I'm Lea! You're darkness and death. Leave me alone!

But – you're my somebody –

Find somebody ELSE! I'm Lea. I don't need you!

Axel felt as though Lea had physically shoved him away with unnatural strength, although he had no physical form to be moved. He felt as though he was falling, faster and faster, but he had no sense of direction. He thought he heard Lea's voice saying, "Die! Go! Dissolve!"

I will not dissolve. I'm Axel. Memorized. I won't forget. Axel. I will find a somebody – somewhere -

Then there was a blur of light and flickering grey and white lines. Axel had a sudden powerful sense of his physical body – real – substance and weight and form – and falling –

falling –

(x)

Reno approached the still figure cautiously. This had been a common enough ruse in the streets of the slums – someone appearing wounded or dead, then a knife at your throat and goodbye to your cash and your phone. The price of sympathy. Not so likely in Edge though – not in Reeve and Rufus' shining new city built on law and order (and no questions asked about where the money had come from in the first place). Not much for an ex-Turk to do these days, aside from patrolling quiet streets and looking for PR opportunities to convince the public that all the Turks were on the side of the light now. Elena enjoyed helping people. Rude didn't voice an opinion, but seemed sanguine. Tseng's job kept him close to Rufus, and Reno suspected that his work, at least, hadn't changed as much as the public might have been persuaded to think. Reno wondered whether he was the only one who missed the bad old days.

"Hey, stranger!" he called as he approached the black-clad figure, sprawled face down on the pavement. "Wakey wakey. Can't sleep it off here, yo – makin' Rufus' nice clean streets all untidy."

"Wha…" The figure on the ground shifted slightly. One gloved hand went to his head, which was concealed by the hood of the strange black coat he wore. For a moment Reno was reminded of Yazoo – the Sephiroth remnant he had fought with on these same streets not quite two years ago. Officially those who had been Turks no longer carried weapons, but Reno hadn't lost his mind along with his Turk status, and his left hand closed around the flick-knife in his jacket pocket. There was also a small handgun in his shoulder holster. He hoped it would prove unnecessary.

"Are you hurt?" Reno asked, keeping a wary distance.

"Don't think so. I – I fell, I think."

"Right. Can you stand?"

"Yeah."

"Then get up and put your hands above your head where I can see 'em."

"Right."

Reno frowned as he watched the black-clad man stand with easy grace and raise his hands slowly. There was something odd about the stranger's voice – something weirdly familiar. Something about his movements, too. He didn't seem to be hurt, but he was suddenly very still. Then he took a step forward and began to lower his hands.

"Stop there!" Reno ordered. "Keep your hands over your head."

"But – you – you're…"

"What the fuck? I said get your hands up!"

Instead of complying, the man flipped back the deep hood of his coat and stared at Reno. Reno looked into the stranger's face and found that it wasn't a stranger's face at all. He moved forward, concerns about danger vanished in astonishment. "No fuckin' way!" he exclaimed.

Reno reached towards the face that so closely mirrored his own, even as Axel's left hand touched his cheek. "You?" Axel asked. "Is it you?"

Reno's thumb pressed lightly against the purple tattoo below Axel's right eye even as Axel's traced the curve of the red line along Reno's right cheekbone. Neither of them pulled away: the touches seemed natural – the way each of them would examine his own face if he saw something unexpected in the mirror. They registered differences – Axel's eyes were greener, Reno's bluer, but they both mixed green and blue. Their hair was cut differently, but the flame red was the same. Their faces were almost identical – the slant of their eyes, the slight up-turned tilt of their noses, their pale skin, the shape of their mouths. Even the way that their incredulity manifested as disbelieving half smiles, the left corners of their mouths quirking upward, was exactly the same.

Neither of them felt any hurry to stop looking, touching. Each of them found the other's scrutiny understandable – even welcome. Axel thought that no one had ever looked at him this closely before – really looking – seeing him as though he were somebody.

"Nice ink," Reno said, fingers still on Axel's skin.

Axel used that as an excuse to stroke the red lines on Reno's cheekbones again. "Yours too."

"Bet that hurt – right under your eyes?"

"I can't remember. I wasn't really aware – they just – appeared."

Reno laughed. "Good night, huh?"

Axel shook his head, confused. "I can't remember. Did – yours hurt?"

"Stung like hell," Reno grinned. He let his hands drop to his sides, and Axel did the same, slowly, wondering why he felt reluctant to move away.

"Twins?" Reno wondered aloud. "It's possible. I was left under a table in a bar in the Sector Three slums. Never knew my mom."

"I – didn't have a mother," Axel said. "Not exactly. I remember a woman – but Nobodies don't have mothers."

"You're not a nobody! Hey – no one with this face is a nobody, yo! Must be twins. We're too alike for it to be a coincidence. You even sound like me!"

Something in Axel twisted at that. "You sound like me, you mean! I'm Axel – got it memorized?"

"Axel. Roger that. I'm Reno."

"Reno. Not – Lea?"

"Nope – Reno. Always been Reno. You hit your head when you fell?"

"Maybe. I can't remember. Only falling."

Reno looked up into the clear blue sky. "What – you tripped? Ain't nowhere you coulda fallen from."

Axel looked up too, turned to scan the surrounding buildings. He was right in the centre of a square plaza. Even if he taken a flying leap from the top of the nearest tall building there was no way he could have ended up in the middle of this wide open space. It reminded him of somewhere he knew – a square often bathed in evening sunlight below a tall tower in a town whose name had somehow dissolved from his mind. "Perhaps I fell from the clock tower?" he asked.

"Clock tower? Where?" Reno ran his hands quickly over Axel's head, checking for contusions or bumps. The texture of Axel's hair surprised him – it looked so spiky that he'd been expecting coarse, thick hair, or stiff gel, but it was very soft – just like his own. Former lovers had often commented on that.

Axel looked at Reno, a feeling of panic somewhere inside him. Why couldn't he remember?

"I fell," he said. "I'm sure I fell. It felt like falling. Are we still in that town – T – T – Why can't I remember?"

"T?" Reno asked. "No, man! This is Edge. Midgar Edge. You know, I can't think of a single town starts with a T. We'd better get you checked over."

"What?" Axel seemed dazed.

Reno grinned and reached for Axel's wrist, pressing two fingers over the pulse point. When he realised what Reno was doing Axel shook his head. "No good," he said, "I'm a Nobody. Heartless."

"Ah, c'mon! People used to say that about me too, you know? Heartless. Said we all were. Guess we did some stuff back then…" To his surprise Reno found that he didn't want to give a bad impression of himself to Axel, so he added quickly, "But it's different now. We're all out to save the world now."

Axel only gave him a confused look. "I don't have a heart," he explained. "I thought you were Lea – I thought you had our heart –"

"You need a doctor. But your heart's not the problem. Pulse is fine."

"What? It can't be! I don't have –"

"Well something's pumping your blood around your body – even if it ain't getting to your brain! Come on – you're coming with me. Rufus Shinra's doctors will check you over – he still has the best money can buy."

But Axel didn't move. He held his own fingers to his wrist, then to the side of his neck. His expression changed to awed disbelief as he felt the beat, steady beneath the pressure of his fingers. "I – have a heart?" he murmured.

"What is with you?" Reno cried, exasperated. "Yeah – you have a heart. Hate to break it to you buddy, but that don't exactly make you unique around here. Gaia – don't tell me I find my long-lost twin and it turns out he's an idiot! Rude and Elena'll never let me hear the end of this. I can hear Elena already – 'Well – you must be identical twins then'! C'mon." Seizing Axel's wrist, Reno began to pull him in the direction of the New Shinra building. Still stunned by the discovery of his heart, Axel went with him, unresisting.

It took him four blocks before he thought to ask, "Who's Rufus Shinra?"

End of Chapter One.