Chapter 1YoungSpock
YoungSpock, about to leave for school, is accosted by his mother.
"Hunny Bunny- you've got a little schmutz,"
she gets a hold of her son's head, licks her thumb-
"-hold still, baby-"
-and proceeds to rub the schmutz from his face.
"There-all clean!"
YoungSpock blinks up at her.
"But Mother, is my face not dirtier now that you have smeared your spittle on it?"
YoungSpock's mother closes her eyes and counts to ten under her breath.
"the inside of a woman's mouth is a filthy place, Mother."
She shakes her head, and continues counting, towards one hundred.
"A woman's mouth is a Petri dish for disease-causing pathogens."
YoungSpock's mother chuckles.
"Oh, Hunny Bunny, you are adorable!" she pinches YoungSpock's cheeks and plants a hard, lipstick-y kiss on his forehead.
"Now be a good boy, make good choices, play nice with the other children, listen to your teachers, and don't forget: Mommy loves you!"
And she sends her son off to school.