Title: Doesn't Hurt Anymore

Pairings: Eventual Romance Ivan x Ludwig, slight Sadiq x Ludwig, slight Alfred x Ludwig (Rusger, Turkger, Ameger)

Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Romance

Summary: Gakuen AU. Ludwig lost everyone he knew and loved to a school. Once he is called upon by the same school, he must move pass his abusive childhood and learn to live with new friends, enemies and emotions without reverting to his old self.

Warnings: Child abuse/physical/emotional/neglect, self-hatred, dark, and some OOC

Also I sometimes take my anger out on the characters, which leads to the events which happen to them… I use my writing to vent my own anger and stress. Please Excuse me if you think I go too far in doing so or offend you.

A/N:Once very long ago, I was attacked by a zombie plot bunny. This is the result of that attack.

Prologue: He left

"B-Bruder (B-brother)! Please don't leave me," A small blond child, about seven or eight years old cried as he reached his small hands out towards a taller, silver blond boy with bright red eyes. The older boy bent down to smooth his younger brother's hair back.

This was the year everything fell apart.

Gilbert, the red eyed boy, was in the fifth grade, and he was ten years old. Gilbert patted the little boy's head softly again, this time it seems to sooth his younger brother's worries. "Don't cry, okay, Luddie?" Gilbert wiped away the tears that flooded the boy's icy blue eyes and then Gilbert smirked at him, it was slightly taunting, but also painfully gentle. "They said they'll try and get you out of here too, once you get a scholarship,"

"B-but that will be a long time, Bruder (brother)!" The boy cried out again. "Please don't leave like Roddy did! Roderich said he was going to come back, remember? He still hasn't visited! It's been a whole year!" The German child started to sob, wiping at the tears that had begun to drip down his pale cheeks. Gilbert hugged the blond child in the hopes of comforting him as he realized he was doing what he had hated Roderich for doing.

"He probably got busy," Gilbert whispered softy into Ludwig's ear. "He might have forgot-"

"Don't forget me too!" The boy suddenly cried even louder. Gilbert flinched when he realized he said something really, really stupid. Forget? What was he thinking?

"I-I won't!" Gilbert laughed reassuringly; he petted the blonde's head. "I won't ever, ever, ever forget you, Luddie! I'm way too awesome to do that! Besides, in a year or two, you'll come to me if I don't come to see you! You're so awesome I'm sure you'll get a scholarship to the school!"

The blond boy closed his eyes.

"I don't want you to go, Gilbert…" Ludwig whispered calmly as he opened his blue eyes. The red eyed boy, Gilbert, bit his lip in hesitation. He shifted his weight as if trying to get use to the idea of leaving the small boy alone with that woman. The car horn honked three times in a row. Ludwig is still clinging onto his brother's arm with a pleading look in his eyes. Gilbert ruffled Ludwig's hair.

I don't want to be left alone.

Ludwig hugged his brother's arm tightly.

I don't want to be forgotten…

His knuckles turned white because of his grip.

You won't forget me, you say… You won't forget… But what will I do if you do forget?

Ludwig's finger nails bit into his palm causing little crescent moon like scratches that draw blood.

I won't be able to live with myself if you forget me…

"Please don't go," Ludwig shut his eyes tightly. He heard Gilbert sigh heavily in thought. And for a moment, a beautiful, wonderful moment, Gilbert decided that maybe he wouldn't go-

"Come on, Ludwig. It's time for Gilbert to go," Gilbert snapped to attention at the voice, nodding stiffly at his adoptive mother, a scary blond beauty, who grabbed Ludwig's arm tightly. She pried the small boy's hands away from Gilbert with a sharp yank, making the blond boy whimper. Gilbert doesn't –no, he can't– meet Ludwig's eyes which are filled with scared confusion… So, even now Gilbert was afraid of her. "Let us allow Gilbert to go, this is his dream, you know that, Ludwig." The woman's voice was extremely sharp with the child.

"B-but-" The small blond boy tried to hide the lump in his throat. It hurt and made it hard to talk clearly, but he doesn't want the woman to hear him when he is most weak. Ludwig looked up at his big brother, who seemed like he was in pain. The red eyed boy looked away.

"Say goodbye Ludwig." The woman's voice was sharp again. Ludwig flinched away from her.

"Goodbye Gilbert…" Ludwig managed to whisper though he didn't want to say goodbye. It would be admitting this was the end, and he didn't want this to be the end. Ludwig started to shake as tears fill his vision. He could barely see Gilbert waving halfheartedly at him.

"Goodbye Ludwig," Ludwig hated Gilbert, but only for a moment, all formalities, even in the end when they are being split apart… "I'll see you soon, okay?" Gilbert tried to smile, to make up for everything, for leaving him, but it wasn't even worth looking at. Yet, Ludwig couldn't do anything but look up at his brother. The sad excuse for a smile made the small boy cry even harder.

"O-okay, Bruder (Brother)…" The little boy chokes, tears in his eyes. "Ich liebe dich (I love you)…"

A/N: This is newly edited... I mean, this has actually been edited for quite a while, I just never got to it because I'm lazy! Anyways- to the new readers, you get the better version, to older readers who decided to read this again, well- now you can see my thoughts better than before?

Thanks for reading and please drop me a review!