[. Your Not Much, But Everything .]
… Information … xenosaga short story project --- Gaignun
A girl takes it upon herself to prove to Master Gaignun he can feel; he can touch, and have human interactions rather then be serious all the time. ONESHOT – OcxGaignun
… Comments …
Okay, I always found Gaignun to be a bit of a solitude character, as in no girlfriend and whatnot and sure he has Mary and Shelly, when he's 26, but I got the feeling from him being a child that he was quite isolated from human touch. As in, he doesn't touch people a lot, nor let people touch him often. If that makes any sense, so I found it almost strange Mary and Shelly are always at his side, though still now I don't believe their to be any sexual or any sort of relationship between them whatsoever. He's quite isolated to me, especially from childhood, where it would be Rubedo and Albedo [okay I'm rambling now, skip before I look stupid XD] So I wanted to make something where someone teaches him to feel somewhat in some ways. Heh, I knooowww it sounds bad but meh! Deal with it XDXD Okay, I'm gonna stop explaining and just let you read. By the way, I tried to portray the girl as Faith from Bitter Sweet for some bizarre reason. Anyhoo~ Enjoy and please review! I'd love to know how bad you think it is XD
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Raven black hair, a solid colour known by all; a colour seen by every living creature; the most common one standing by white. Dogs, humans, even colour blind humans see this colour, if that is what is to be called. Though some count it not as a colour but as a simple shade. What are you? A colour bright and beautiful, or a shade; so eerie and moving constantly? Eyes flashing the colour emerald green, something too that is solid and plain looking though there's a twinkle, a magical flash in your eyes as you glance in my direction, something so cheerful and almost happy. However, whenever you glance in other people's directions I see nothing but you registering someone is speaking, talking and standing. Do you feel a heart beat under you finger tips? Have you ever felt a heart beat under you finger tips?
You can right now as I extend my hands to you. Skin is the average olive complexion, not quite pale but not quite tanned either. Touching your wrists, I know you're not used to such a touch as my fingers caress your warm flesh. Not many people know that, do they? Not many people have felt the warmth emit from your flesh to seep into their own. Your skin shivers ever so gently, and your fingers clench slightly. Their shaking more then your skin, you want to pull away yet you want to explore; you want to feel human interactions. Touch isn't something you've experienced often; your world is surrounded by numbers, words and other strange symbols you've yet to teach me about. I'll show you, as we sit in silence I'll show you everything I know.
I want you to feel the warmth of my own fingers as they slowly slip around your thin, strong wrists, feeling every bump of you bones and the little gaps between where they join. My thumbs are pushed gently under your wrists; the sleeve of your blazer is soft against the top of my thumbs as they explore, feeling your veins. Gaps are here and there, bones can be felt and the gentle scratch of my long nails gains another little shake from you, which I know you can't feel. Unlike everything else, you're intrigued, feeling everything more vivid then I am. Under my thumbs is your pulse, mixed in with mine; I know it shouldn't be done this way, but I do not care. It's a gentle beat, pushing up against your thin skin as your life blood is pushed around your body. Did you ever understand other people can feel this? Did you ever know before this moment people can feel the life inside you as well as see it? Your fingers are finally beginning to loosen again as you get used to the feeling of another human being. My soft fingers tighten around your wrists however, and before I begin what I want you to feel, I steal a glance of your magnificent emerald gems.
They're dancing; full of life unlike how I saw them before. The bits of secrecy I could pick up on are on show; for once I can see your emotions through your eyes. You've finally removed the curtains to your eyes that are like windows, allowing me to see inside of your soul. You act like nothing before, especially to the untrained eye. You passed by people in the halls, showing your smile that most believed to be true yet I could see different. You've isolated yourself from the world, hardly allowing people to touch you. A workaholic is almost an understatement of what you are; you're so contained with your emotions, but now I'm unlocking them. The raven butterfly is being loosened from the jar, only to be more magnificent in the sunlight then in confinement. But there's still shock in them, I can see that quite strongly. You're shocked someone is touching you, wanting you, but you're not objecting, which is always a good thing. How does it feel, feeling someone touch you for the first time after so many years? It's been awhile, hasn't it? It's been more then awhile since you've felt someone else.
Wanting you to feel what I can feel through your wrists, I slowly bring your right hand towards me. I've slide to sit on the side of my legs so I can do this better; so I can see your face with my ice blue gems. The room we sit in is dark to my eyes, all I'm doing is focusing on you, and you're focusing on me. Our surroundings do not matter anymore; we're trapped in our own little bubble; just me and you. I want to move your hand slowly, so you can take in every feeling and everyone emotion sliding into your heart. I know it's hard to comprehend, it's hard to take in at once, and hence why I'm going slowly. It's tingling, the skin of your wrist where my fingers are set is. Take it in, feel the pressure and the weight.
Feel the soft fabric of my red shirt on your fingertips. Your fingers go straight as I gently push them down on my chest, just above my sped up heart. You're not the only one that feels nervous; do not worry my raven headed friend. Your hands are warm on my chest and I can feel you push down, feeling as my heart pumps the blood around my body; making me live, like your wrists. From the way you've pushed down against my chest, even setting your palm on my body I know you do not need me to hold you there any longer, and it makes me happy. Your feeling, you're touching. You can feel the creases of my shirt between your fingers, something you've probably only felt on your own. My cheeks are growing red as you push gently, wanting to feel it better. My heart helps by pounding faster, racing with itself as I feel heat coming from my face. Even I hadn't expected to get so nervous. They begin to shake, your fingers do as you feel everything; the ribs of my chest, the beat of my heart and the gentle rise and fall of my body as I breathe, much like your own.
How does it feel to feel someone else? Curiosity runs through you much quicker then I had expected it. Now I've unlocked your precious treasure chest, the thing that carries all your emotions, you begin to act on your own will, wanting more. I don't know how it happened, but with your other arm you manage to slip out of my hand, and soon you're free. I expect you to get off the couch, but when I look into your eyes for a second time, I see something; almost like gratitude. Do you know my intentions? Do you know what I'm doing for you? Why I'm doing it for you?
Before I have a chance to react, your hand is running through my long burgundy locks, sliding through the thick, soft hair quickly. It's like silk against your fingers, and my head feels weird as you do it. Just as you reach the end, you bring your hand back up, continuing to stroke my locks as if they are everlasting. You love the feelings, to touch a woman and stroke her hair. Finally you care for someone who cares for you; who loves you more then anyone else in the world; who wants you to feel. No longer will you be the third wheel, the extra in the party but you will be my life. You can feel that too, you finally understand and by the touches, I understand you want me too.
The hand that was on my chest as slowly risen up, making my own skin tremble as your hand moves onto my collarbone. You move across to the other, as if you're checking that I'm here; that I'm real. I react in same, taking my hands off my knees where they had rested. One hand, my left one, moves without my permission to your chest; feeling the heart beat. I slide it under your blazer you were, and slightly twist it so that it can slide too under your green tie. The layer of clothing is tight, soft against my hand; stuck in between your hot chest and soft attire. My hand is small but it covers the area of your heart perfectly, the other sweeps up to your hair. My fingers intertwine with your locks, and you instinctively lower your head as I shuffle as close as I can. Your hair is softer then I ever imagined it to be; it feels like fluffy velvet between my thin fingers.
Your smell is musky; your cologne deep in my nose even from where I sit. You dress, you smell to impress yet the first time you've touched someone is now; when your twenty years old. Not even as a child you've come in contact properly with anyone apart from your siblings. I can't help but feel a deep pang of sorrow for you; I want to give you everything I can, I want to make you feel and know humans do more then speak and wave. Your well on your way to learning however as you learn your head down, resting your forehead on my own. This move is unexpected, but I cannot help but crack a smile. I shut my eyes half way as your forehead presses down on my bangs, as we're both engulfed in a dark shadow that was one used as a reference for your hair colour. You're not a dull shadow, you more of a beautiful colour, especially your eyes. I look up as you stop moving you hand; keeping it on the back of my head. Your fingers are deep in my hair as we lock eyes for long minutes; passing wordless mental messages to one another. Soundless electricity crackles between us and I lower my hand, and you make yours go higher.
Your palm is boiling hot, moving across my neck. I shiver furiously this time, your skin brushing against my sensitive skin until you finally stop, caressing my cheek slowly. One final glance says it all as we catch each others lips in a tender kiss, both wanting the same thing at the same time. You surprisingly push harder then I do, getting more familiar. Either that or you want to relish every feeling from the kiss.
As its get more passionate, I can feel you changing; your emotions finally showing. This is what I wanted, what you wanted too. You wanted someone to let you loose, to stop you from being so serious. My hands quickly move to your tie, taking it upon them to undo it for you; to loosen you up. The green fabric is so soft, but my mind is too occupied with the kiss I do not notice. Your too occupied too with the kiss that we are sharing, you couldn't care less about the things my hands are doing; all you care about is the fact I am the first girl you've probably kissed; the first human you've connected with properly. Once the tie has been undone by the shaking hands of mine, I throw it down to the dark floor, unsure of whether it is. I don't dawdle on it; instead I undo the buttons of your dark blazer, signalling to you not to be so serious all the time.
For once you will no longer be Master Gaignun. For once you will just be Gaignun. You won't think, you won't calculate nor will you work; you will listen carefully and just feel your skin tremble like a normal human being. I'm going to be the fire that melts the ice; you won't be cold anymore. You're taking your hand off my face, leaving a warm spot where it was. You want the blazer to be taken off, and I can't help but smirk. Just as I finish undoing the buttons, you slide your tongue slowly over your lips, before gently parting my own with it. We both learn foreword at this as more electricity passes between us; I hadn't expected it to have been so strong. You can feel it, you like it.
Making my mind think, I take off your blazer as you eagerly dance your tongue against mine. For being so inexperienced your learning well; you can finally see that you needed it; you needed to learn about people. Once your blazer is off your body and in a black heap on the floor, I wrap my arms tight around you neck, letting you feel the weight of me gently pushing against you.
Surprising to me, you break the kiss, but keep your face intimately close to mine. Before I get to have the chance to open my eyes and stare into your alluring gems, you whisper breathlessly. "I want you," and I know I've helped you. You've learned; you've learned to touch; I've taught you another way of human interaction. Exactly what I wanted you to learn and what you wanted to learn. Returning your words with a deep, lustful kiss, I smile inside to myself and you smile too. You're a quite man, a handsome alluring one but not many people can see that. To them your not much, but your everything.