Disclaimer: I do not own Starfox or any other copyrighted
characters; however, I do own the Meat Fairy, the pile of rocks in
the corner, the special effects, and any other characters who show
up in this story. Thank you.
Leigh Henna, "Sorry the chapter is so short. I will have more later, I promise. Anyway, I hope ya'll enjoy this; it's my first fanfic. R&R."
Chapter 1: It Starts
"Hey, Fox, come look at this," Peppy yelled to his captain while simultaneously turning up the volume on the TV. Fox just looked up from his game of pool, which was not more than twenty feet away, and sarcastically responded, "Thanks, Pep, I'm not sure I would have been able to hear that TV without you turning it up all the way." He then walked over to an available seat close to the set and lit himself a cigarette. "You shouldn't smoke those, they can kill you," Slippy quickly snapped. Just as Fox was about to retort with some smartass remark, the news came back on and the anchorman continued the story Peppy had alerted everyone to.
"I'm now receiving more information about this crisis," said the newsman nervously," and the devastation is in fact worldwide, not just local." Fox was puzzled. What could be so terrible on a worldwide basis? "What's he talking about, guys? What's so devastating?". "Shut up and you'll find out, jackass!" Falco turned and snapped, then turned back to the TV set, just as the newsman continued. "Again, here is the note left by those responsible for this heinous crime." The camera then went in for a close up of a document, and everyone leaned in a little to figure out what it read.
' To The President of Corneria; Three days ago, around 10:00 am, we have kidnapped someone very precious to you and all of Corneria. We do not want a ransom, and we will not negotiate her release. We just wanted to inform you so you would know your days of eating meat are done. The Meat Fairy is no longer around to provide the world with meat from the hides of poor, defenseless animals anymore, so we hope you like carrots.
V.H.D. '
"What?! This is all over some stupid made up creature called the Meat Fairy?!" Falco and Fox yelled in unison. "This is serious. Have you been to the grocery stores lately? There is no meat left. The Meat Fairy is real." Peppy explained, while noticing Slippy had gone somewhere while the program was on. "What does V.H.D. stand for anyway?" Falco inquired. Just as Fox and Peppy shrugged, Slippy re-entered the room with a piece of paper. "I noticed that too, and did some research. V.H.D. stands for 'Vegetarian Hippie Dumbasses'."
The whole group had that lost look on their faces. After being in space for 3 years, the team sort of lost track of minor things like this on their home planet. So, Slippy began again," They are the elite amongst the environmentalists, like PETA and CLIT. They don't eat anything that casts a shadow, and I think they are responsible for a few cherry bombs found in the girls bathrooms at meat factories." Fox raised an eyebrow at this. "So, they're the elite of the elite, and the best they can do is cherry bombs in toilettes?" "Uhh...yeah, pretty much. Hence why they are called the Vegetarian Hippie Dumbasses." Slippy answered, saying the last word with a lot of emphasis. Fox just knocked him upside his fat head.
Just as Slippy was about to attempt some Tae Queer Do, Gen. Pepper appeared on the com-link. "Starfox. You're needed for a special mission. And, as always, your regular fee has been approved, but you'll only be paid after the assignment is complete. Will you accept?" "What's the job?" Fox immediately asked after saluting the general. "You will have to travel to the polar ice caps, where our satellites have found evidence of the V.H.D. base of operations. We think the Meat Fairy, Jan, is there. Your job is to rescue her and destroy the base."
"Sounds easy enough, but you can't mean to tell me you believe in this whole Meat Fairy thing too. It's so preposterous." Fox stated. "Well, ridiculous and preposterous as it sounds, your going to have to believe it for now," Pepper continued," and by the way, I know about what you and your female cohorts do on these missions, so try to keep it in your pants with this one. She is still a virgin, and has to stay like that for all time." "So then, how would she get any pleasure?" Slippy questioned. Pepper turned red, Peppy coughed, and Falco chuckled. Fox turned to him," You shithead, she would masturbate. You know, kind of like what I always catch you doing in your Arwing." Everyone just burst out laughing at that. Slippy ran like a little girl out of the room, crying loudly. "So," Pepper said between chuckles," do you accept the mission?" Fox looked around at his teammates, who had finally stopped laughing. 'Well, we do need the money', he thought to himself. He glanced at his year old porno's and answered, "How could I say no?"
Leigh Henna, "Sorry the chapter is so short. I will have more later, I promise. Anyway, I hope ya'll enjoy this; it's my first fanfic. R&R."
Chapter 1: It Starts
"Hey, Fox, come look at this," Peppy yelled to his captain while simultaneously turning up the volume on the TV. Fox just looked up from his game of pool, which was not more than twenty feet away, and sarcastically responded, "Thanks, Pep, I'm not sure I would have been able to hear that TV without you turning it up all the way." He then walked over to an available seat close to the set and lit himself a cigarette. "You shouldn't smoke those, they can kill you," Slippy quickly snapped. Just as Fox was about to retort with some smartass remark, the news came back on and the anchorman continued the story Peppy had alerted everyone to.
"I'm now receiving more information about this crisis," said the newsman nervously," and the devastation is in fact worldwide, not just local." Fox was puzzled. What could be so terrible on a worldwide basis? "What's he talking about, guys? What's so devastating?". "Shut up and you'll find out, jackass!" Falco turned and snapped, then turned back to the TV set, just as the newsman continued. "Again, here is the note left by those responsible for this heinous crime." The camera then went in for a close up of a document, and everyone leaned in a little to figure out what it read.
' To The President of Corneria; Three days ago, around 10:00 am, we have kidnapped someone very precious to you and all of Corneria. We do not want a ransom, and we will not negotiate her release. We just wanted to inform you so you would know your days of eating meat are done. The Meat Fairy is no longer around to provide the world with meat from the hides of poor, defenseless animals anymore, so we hope you like carrots.
V.H.D. '
"What?! This is all over some stupid made up creature called the Meat Fairy?!" Falco and Fox yelled in unison. "This is serious. Have you been to the grocery stores lately? There is no meat left. The Meat Fairy is real." Peppy explained, while noticing Slippy had gone somewhere while the program was on. "What does V.H.D. stand for anyway?" Falco inquired. Just as Fox and Peppy shrugged, Slippy re-entered the room with a piece of paper. "I noticed that too, and did some research. V.H.D. stands for 'Vegetarian Hippie Dumbasses'."
The whole group had that lost look on their faces. After being in space for 3 years, the team sort of lost track of minor things like this on their home planet. So, Slippy began again," They are the elite amongst the environmentalists, like PETA and CLIT. They don't eat anything that casts a shadow, and I think they are responsible for a few cherry bombs found in the girls bathrooms at meat factories." Fox raised an eyebrow at this. "So, they're the elite of the elite, and the best they can do is cherry bombs in toilettes?" "Uhh...yeah, pretty much. Hence why they are called the Vegetarian Hippie Dumbasses." Slippy answered, saying the last word with a lot of emphasis. Fox just knocked him upside his fat head.
Just as Slippy was about to attempt some Tae Queer Do, Gen. Pepper appeared on the com-link. "Starfox. You're needed for a special mission. And, as always, your regular fee has been approved, but you'll only be paid after the assignment is complete. Will you accept?" "What's the job?" Fox immediately asked after saluting the general. "You will have to travel to the polar ice caps, where our satellites have found evidence of the V.H.D. base of operations. We think the Meat Fairy, Jan, is there. Your job is to rescue her and destroy the base."
"Sounds easy enough, but you can't mean to tell me you believe in this whole Meat Fairy thing too. It's so preposterous." Fox stated. "Well, ridiculous and preposterous as it sounds, your going to have to believe it for now," Pepper continued," and by the way, I know about what you and your female cohorts do on these missions, so try to keep it in your pants with this one. She is still a virgin, and has to stay like that for all time." "So then, how would she get any pleasure?" Slippy questioned. Pepper turned red, Peppy coughed, and Falco chuckled. Fox turned to him," You shithead, she would masturbate. You know, kind of like what I always catch you doing in your Arwing." Everyone just burst out laughing at that. Slippy ran like a little girl out of the room, crying loudly. "So," Pepper said between chuckles," do you accept the mission?" Fox looked around at his teammates, who had finally stopped laughing. 'Well, we do need the money', he thought to himself. He glanced at his year old porno's and answered, "How could I say no?"