After a long break, I feel ready to try again. Nothing's improved much, and honestly, I'm not so proud of this one. I feel I got too sidetracked, or rushed with the ending. But hey, I'm just glad I got to finish this after never finishing the ending. Bear with me hear, and I apologize in advance. Hopefully my best friend 'Firelily' will give me some inspiration next time. As always, reviews would be appreciated, and definitely help me improve.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. Don't know what I'd do with it if I did, either.

I've always wondered what on earth I was doing, thinking that anything would change. Everyday, I would go near the pond in my backyard, and he would be there. He's been there for four years now. Same dopey, vacant smile. Same glossy, glazed look in his eyes, like he was waiting for something. Then again, all he ever did was wait. Wait, and wait, and wait. I've got to hand it to him; he sure does have a lot of patience. I'm not as bad at sitting still as a Primeape, but I could never be this patient all day.

"How're you doing, Slowpoke?" I asked. He didn't even turn his head to acknowledge me. I was used to it, after four years of visiting him everyday. It was my backyard, after all. I sat down next to him, and stared at the shallow pond. "If you're thinkin' that one of these days a Shellder's gonna come runnin' along to bite your tail, then don't get your hopes up. This is a man-made pond, Slowpoke. Can't really even call it a pond, since it just looks like a big hole in the backyard, but you can guess that my dad likes to think of it as one. Besides, you're not even facing the pond correctly. If a Shellder did come in here somehow, it'd just bite your face." My house was by the nearby forest, so all I could see were a bunch of trees. That's why Dad tried building the pond. It really wasn't what I was hoping for, but I appreciated the thought.

"..." Still no recognition or reply. Boy, he sure did know how to stay quiet. But I didn't mind; Mom always told me it was good to have patience. Heck, I considered this Slowpoke my best friend. I've known him since I was six. He just wandered into this place one day. Woke up, went outside, found him staring out into the pond's water, looking right at his reflection. At least he could listen. If he was ignoring me, I didn't see it that way.

I pet him on the head, telling him, "You know what day it is today, right? My birthday. The big one-oh, as Dad says. I'm gonna start my journey tomorrow, after the party's done with today and I finish packing. I won't be seeing you for a while; I'll miss that. Since a lot of my friends will be coming over, and the party's set for the backyard, you'll have to deal with a bunch of nine year olds and their parents. Sorry to have put you through that for four years now, but look at the bright side. This'll be the last party for quite a while."

I placed an apple next to him, and stood up, brushing the dirt off my pajama pants. "I've got to get going to school, but I'll see you later, okay? Be back later, Slowpoke." After all was said and done, I went back inside, and into my room. I brushed my shoulder length brown hair, placed the Ledyba hairclip on the left side of it, and brushed my teeth. After that, I got out of my pink Cleffa pajamas and into what I usually wore to school: a white shirt, black pants, and a light blue jacket to go over the shirt. I left it unzipped, and quickly put on my shoes. Staring into the mirror and seeing brown eyes staring back at me, I was pleased with my daily routine's results. I grabbed my black backpack and raced out the door like I always did, calling, "I'm off! See you later, Mom! Bye Dad!"

Just like that, I was on my way to school.

I don't know why it bothered me so much, seeing him gone, but it did. I came back home, stayed in my room to finish my homework, and went outside, trying to act shocked when my friends and their parents jumped out and yelled, "Surprise!!" It seemed like the entire town was here to see me off. That's what our town did; we'd all have a celebration for the kids who would be heading off on journeys.

I was happy, and not at all sad. Sure, I was leaving, but I knew I'd see them all again. I'm not the type to get upset easily. I was the tomboy of the group, Nick said, even though I was into girly things. Speaking of, the boy himself came up to me, grinning from ear to ear and handing me a drink. "Happy birthday, Sarah. How cool is it that today's your last day? No more school, first of all. Secondly, you'll get to pick your Pokemon tomorrow, too!"

I laughed and nodded. "Yeah. When Dad went on his journey, he took his Charmander with him."

"Oh yeah, that's right. Your dad's from Kanto, but moved to Johto with your mom, right? You plan on taking his Charizard with you? It'd definitely help you out."

"You kiddin'? Nah, I won't be taking Blaze with me. I mean," I pointed to him with my free hand. He was hanging around my dad and his friends, staring with this wise look. He was even wearing a party hat, but my guess is that Dad had asked him to wear it. Charizard was a calm brute, very intelligent, if you ask me. "I'm guessing he's had enough of those adventuring days with my dad. And anyway, I want to do this myself. Just me and my own Pokemon, not one of Dad's. They're all happy and content here at home. See?"

I pointed again. Dad's main team was scattered all over the backyard, having fun, watching, or, in Happy's case, sleeping. Blaze, his Charizard with the flaming tail that Dad claims will never go out, like his spirit, was hanging around Dad's traveling companions, who became our neighbors. Happy, his Snorlax, the big guy with a lot of heart, was sleeping by the snack table, a bunch of little kids jumping on his stomach for fun. It was a good thing he was too tired to notice, but then again, I doubt he'd get upset. Slash and Scythe, his Sandslash and Scyther, the hacking duo, were trying to stay away from all the excitement. They were hanging farther back, near the trees that led into the forest. They seemed to be arguing about something; Slash was stomping his foot into the ground, while Scythe was brushing him off with a wave of his arm...sword. Ambivalence, Dad's Dodrio, was roosted on the roof, following Happy's lead. At least, two of his heads were. The sad looking one on the left was wide-awake, watching everyone at the party. I had asked Dad once why Dodrio was named Ambivalence, considering the rest of his Pokemon had simple names, and he replied,

"Well, when I was on my journey, and had obtained my sixth badge, I ran into a man meditating on the side of the road. I spent days with that man, wondering why he was meditating, day in and day out. Next to him, a Dodrio was also trying to meditate. I was very surprised; none of the heads were fighting. Anger, Sorrow, Joy- all were focused on meditating. The man chuckled and told me, "That, my young friend, is how effective meditating can be. It allows the mind to reach inner peace, and fighting becomes meaningless." After that, the man told me he had more places to go. He gave me his Dodrio Ambivalence, and said his name means, 'the coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings toward a person, an object, or an idea.' Understand, Sarah?"

To this day, I understood squat about Dad's explanation. All I knew was, that sure was one tranquil birdbrain.

Lastly, Dad's Vaporeon Aqua, his beautiful mermaid, was hanging around my mom, looking very cheerful. She was using Bubble for a few of the kids, too.

Nick nodded and backed off. Giving me a grin and a playful punch to the shoulder, he ran off to hang with my other friends. I was happy, but when I looked over to the pond, my smile faltered. He wasn't there. The apple was still there, too, untouched. Now, understand me, I'm not the worrying type. But Slowpoke never moves from his spot by the pond, and if he does, he most certainly wouldn't leave the backyard. The pink blob was gone, and my worry meter finally started working.

I spent all afternoon looking for him. I had asked Mom and Dad if they had seen him or done anything to him, and they just shook their heads. They hadn't even noticed he was gone, so they weren't much help. I wasted the last birthday party I'd be spending with my hometown looking for a wild Slowpoke, one I had come to consider my best friend. It was eight o'clock now. Everyone left three hours ago, but I was still outside, sitting by the pond, rolling the apple back and forth between my hands. "Where did he go, anyway? I mean, I guess he could've gone into the forest. It's part of the backyard, after all, and he had to have come from there in the first place. It's not like there's a fence blocking the place anyway. Maybe he decided to go home..."

I sighed and stood up, once again brushing the dirt off of my pants. I stared at the apple for a few moments, and decided to shine it up a little with my shirt. The red fruit looked okay to me, but I didn't bother eating it. Instead, I just put it back where I had left it this morning. Shaking my head, I headed back inside.

Why was I so worried anyway? I knew I'd be saying goodbye to him tomorrow, either way. Maybe I was just upset because he wasn't there for the party. Slowpoke's a wild Pokemon. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact. I dressed into my pajamas, got into bed, and started regretting eating those three slices of cake.

Needless to say, I had a very hard time going to sleep, and it wasn't because of excitement.

Well, this is it. This is the day I choose my Pokemon and head off onto my journey. I could choose from three; Chikorita, Cyndaquil, or Totodile, the basic starters for Johto. Truthfully, none of them appealed to me at the moment. I never really thought about which one I wanted to take with me on my journey. Then there were the type advantages to think about. At the moment, it was all jumbled and swimming in my head, so I figured I'd just wing it. I grabbed the bag Mom had prepared for me, and gave her a hug. Then I hugged my dad as we stood outside in the front yard.

"You promise you'll keep in touch, right? You have everything you need in there?"

"Mom, you're the one who packed this bag, not me, remember? I'll be fine, you worrywart."

"She's right, you know," Dad chimed in. "If you keep worrying at this rate, your hair will turn from red to gray!" Although he earned himself a glare, he laughed it off and turned back to me. "Now, just head on over to the Professor's lab, okay? He'll be waiting to give you your starter. We'll be waiting for you right here whenever you're homesick. You'll do great, Sarah."

I nodded. I couldn't say anything anymore. There wasn't any need to. With a final wave, I turned my back to them and walked off. I didn't bother checking the backyard like I had planned to yesterday, and I didn't regret that decision. It was nagging me, sure, but somehow, I got the feeling who I was looking for wasn't going to be there, waiting like usual, so there wasn't any point in going back.

I ended up taking a detour route. Instead of going straight from my house to the laboratory near the entrance of town, I decided to wander around the forest a little first. Sure, it wasn't the best move, considering I had no Pokemon to protect me, but I wasn't too scared. I could always run, and I've been through the woods so many times, I knew where all the Beedrill and their nests were. Knew where every Spinarak and Ariados liked to hang out. I wasn't afraid. There was never a reason to be. But, I felt empty. Nick would've called me a chicken, and I probably would've started a fistfight with him.

I stopped by the river, sighing. Here I was, ten years old, bag stuffed with everything I needed, ready to start a journey, it seemed. I took another step closer, when a surprised noise startled me out of my thoughts. Looking down, I realized in horror that I had just stepped on a baby Weedle. It was screaming now, calling for backup like a wounded soldier. The fast buzzing was pretty close; I turned around, and there were already about five Beedrill right behind me, looking very ticked off.

Great, they choose now of all times to visit the river?! I was panicking, and I knew it. It felt like I couldn't breathe, like fear was a very upset Nidoking, wrapping his tail around me and crushing me so tightly that my bones would snap like twigs. They were staring me down, and one wrong move would mean very nasty stings. I gasped, and jumped into the small river, crossing and running to the other side.

I just wasn't ready, I realized as I ran for my life, away from the Beedrill and the river. I realized that I wasn't putting off making my decision for a starter because I was too preoccupied trying to enjoy my last days here. It was because I didn't want to, because I was afraid to.

"...I'm not ready. I'm not ready for a journey. I'm not ready to let go, or leave my town. I can't leave..."

I felt tears stream down my cheeks, and fell to my knees after running for who knows long. My fear mixed with my realization and panic, like that Nidoking had just been given new motivation and a thousand more reasons to kill me. I started screaming, even though my lungs were protesting long before then.

"I can't! I can't! I won't go, I won't go! ...Daddy... Daddy!" I threw my bag to the ground- I later regretted that- and wiped my eyes to stop the stinging, and even heard the irritating buzzing that warned me of the Beedrill that had heard my cries.

I ran home.

I remember, after that day, running home and crying in my father's arms. It was so...unlike me. I was tough. I was a tomboy with girly interests. I never looked at things as being sad, or endings. Just new beginnings, like Dad had told me to. I spent two years home, and eventually, I got over it. Eventually, I became my old self again. My hair got longer, so I started keeping it in a ponytail. I gave the Ledyba clip to my friend Kate, taught Nick (and myself) how to avoid the Beedrill whenever we went to the forest, and played with them and my other friends my first year staying until they, too, went on their own. Kate chose Chikorita, and Nick chose Cyndaquil. I waved them off with a big smile on my face.

Time washes away fears, if given the opportunity. That's something my father quoted from somebody. So, I tried again.

"...I think I'm ready," I told them both as we sat at the dinner table. All the Pokemon were out of their Pokeballs, given that Dad believed that since they were family, they should eat with us too.

Mom shook her head immediately. I think she was more shaken up by the Beedrill incident than I was. "Sarah, sweetheart, no. Maybe seeing your friends head off excited you, but I don't think you're ready just yet. Remember two years ago? You spent maybe two hours out there before coming back."

"It was my fault for wandering off," I reminded her, "I went into the forest, which was my fault. Had I gone off to the lab like I was supposed to, I would have been fine."

"You also would have been miserable. That would've affected the Pokemon you chose, too," Dad cut in. He and I stared at each other. He had a mix of understanding and anxiety in his eyes. He was unsure of what to do. That thought was pretty scary to me. Dad was a leap before you think kind of guy, so him unsure of what to do shows you that it's a tough situation.

"I just needed time. I know I can do this now. I know what starter to choose, which routes to take, how to handle situations. I'm not afraid of the Beedrill anymore, not since Nick and I both had a run in with them. I just need to be with someone to face a challenge, and that'll be my Pokemon. Dad, Mom, I know I can do it now. I'm ready to start my journey."

Another round of farewells were handed out to me from my parents and Dad's Pokemon. With a smile, I turned around as we stood in the front lawn, ready to head off, when Ambivalence, with all three heads, gently nudged at my shoulders. I turned around, and the head of anger directed to the inside of the house. Turning, he walked inside, so I turned to my father, who seemed confused.

"Why don't you go follow him, Sarah? Ambivalence wouldn't bother you without a reason. Any ideas?"

I smiled. "Sort of."

Taking my dad's advice, I wandered back into the house. It was a short little trip, considering the house was moderate, and we weren't necessarily wandering around the whole thing, but it seemed like a marathon because I became lost in thought.

He was wise, taking his sweet time. Opinions didn't matter. He was confident in himself, without anybody being able to pressure him. Sure, a little slow, lost, and out there, but a good, reassured man. He was the one...

My dad's Dodrio brought us to our destination, and moved out of the way for me.

"..." There he was. No sight of him in two years, and there he was, acting like nothing had happened. Guess he knew I wasn't ready, either.

As he wandered over, I gladly accepted him into my arms. Not too heavy, but he was definitely going to cut back on his portions before he became a pink version of Happy.

"You ready, Slowpoke?"

He gave me the same clueless smile, but his eyes showed me he was. This little Slowpoke, a sloth among others. Wise beyond popular belief. He knew my true feelings better than I. He was my mentor, in a sense.

I didn't expect to see him ever again, but oddly, I felt I knew this would happen. I knew I would have the odd little pink dope as my first companion.

He knew. He knew, that patience, had its own rewards.