SMSTSS 37: A Rabbit's Tale about Cats! – By DS Wynne
Disclaimer: SM, R1/2, ST, and other properties belong to their respective owners
Special Note: This story crosses over with Voltron and Thundercats.
Author's Note: This story takes place after the defeat of the SUS Empire (see: "The Return of the Starblazer" for details).
Part 1
It had been months since Usagi faced her terrible loss. She was instrumental in defeating the Cascading Blackhole, which threatened to tear planet Earth apart, but it came at a terrible price for her…and her husband Ranma. Since that terrible day, the two barely talked. In fact, Ranma blamed himself and Usagi for the terrible loss, and grew distant from her because of it. In fact, Ranma barely returned home from work at the Utopia Planetia Shipyards on Mars on a regular basis. Eventually, Ranma moved out of their home in Neo-Tokyo, one of three cities—Edo, Crystal Tokyo and Neo-Tokyo—that was a part of one mega-metropolis (informally called "Mega-Tokyo"), leaving Usagi alone…
It was raining that day, as Usagi, depressed as always, looked outside. She barely kept the house clean, and her state of dress was in shambles. She then turned towards the disruptor that sat on her table…
Like a zombie, the Moon Princess goes over to the table, and picks up the weapon. She knew that she'll just reincarnate somehow, so Usagi was more than ready to take her own life.
"Please forgive me," Usagi said in a whisper, as she presses the disruptor's nozzle to the temple of her head.
And that's when she heard a knock on the door.
It took a few more knocks to the door before Usagi shook herself out of her zombie-like state.
"Who is it?" Usagi asked, not bothering to turn one the monitor to see who was at the door.
"It's Setsuna," said the reply. "We have to talk."
Straightening herself out, Usagi immediately places the disruptor back into the drawer, and seals it.
"I'm coming," Usagi said, as she hurried to the door. She then opens it…
"What do you want?" Usagi said.
"May I come in?" said the Senshi of Pluto.
Usagi shrugged, as she allows her old friend to enter her home.
"Nice place," Setsuna said, as she crinkled her nose.
"Thanks," Usagi said sarcastically. "Again, what do you want?"
"I want you to move on, that's what," Setsuna said. "I don't want to see the future ruler of Crystal Tokyo depressed…"
Pause.
"Or suicidal."
"You know what happened to me, yes?" Usagi countered.
"Yes, I know of your loss, Moon Princess, but your…talents are needed for an important assignment…"
Pause.
"You need to do this, for the sake of your…health."
"Humph," Usagi replied. "Fine, I won't do something drastic, other than take that assignment."
"I'm glad to hear that. I would hate to 'break you in', when you come back in your next incarnation."
"Hardy-har-har."
"Now, get yourself cleaned up. I'm taking you shopping and then a dinner at the Crystal Palace."
"I smell that bad, eh?"
"Let's just say that I could smell your scent from outside," Setsuna said, as she crinkled her nose.
"Huh," Usagi said, as she sniffed her underarms. "Ugh, you're right: I do need to bathe…"
A week later, Usagi is on a shuttle, bound for the planet Arus, located within the so-called "Uncharted Territories" (i.e. any area of space that was not incorporated by the United Federation of Planets, the Klingon Empire or the Romulan Star Empire within the Alpha Quadrant). According to the file Usagi received, Arus was a nominal peaceful world that was beset by a planetary invasion that had spread out to include a few Federation colonies. Reports as to what was behind the invasion were scarce. However, what is known is that the invaders used giant monsters to wage war against their enemies. If this was confirmed, then, it would be necessary to authorize the "Voltron Protocols". What made the trip to Arus possible was that the planet's ruler, King Alfor, had authorized his chief advisor, Lord Coran, to begin talks for open relations, including shared mutual technology (including the Voltron Protocols). Only when the planet Arus was mysteriously attacked that all communications between Arus and the Federation ceased. Now, it was up to Usagi assess the situation in person, since it is imperative to determine if Arus' attackers poised a potential threat to the rest of the Alpha Quadrant…
"Madam Ambassador?" said a voice.
Usagi pulled herself away from her reading, and turned to look at the source of the voice.
"What is it, Cadet…I'm sorry, what is your name again?"
"It's Ensign Pidge!" said the teenager, as he snapped to attention. He was short, wore glasses and had mousy brown hair on his head.
"Um, okay," Usagi said with a gentle smile. Escorting her to Arus were her shuttle crewmates, consisting of recent academy graduates.
"So, what's up?"
"I understand that we are to assist you in gathering information on who is responsible for the attacks on Arus and the other frontier worlds?"
"Yes, that is correct."
"I hope that we find out who is responsible soon, because of what happened on Balto and other nearby Earth colonies."
"Oh, that's right," Usagi said with a nod. "I'm sorry for your loss."
"Well, as long as we bring the culprits to justice, that's all that I care about-"
WHOOM!
Suddenly, the shuttle was rocked, as it was being attacked by alien interceptors.
"All hands, battle stations!" said the shuttle commander over the intercom. "Pidge, secure the ambassador!"
"Don't worry, I'll protect you!" Pidge said, as he sits next to Usagi, with his phaser in hand.
"I know that you will try," Usagi said with a nod.
Unfortunately, the shuttle that Usagi was on was also being attacked by the same malevolent force that was attacking Arus. Even more unfortunate was the fact that everyone on board was captured…
"So, the Federation decides to send a representative to assess the situation," said King Zarkon, as he paces back and forth the dungeon room where Usagi and her escorts were being held. Zarkon appeared to have demonic features that seem to enhance his physical attractiveness…for someone of middle-age extraction, of course.
"How amusing."
"It won't be amusing when I inform my superiors that you are waging an illegal war," Usagi replied, as she jerked her chains.
"'Illegal'? One, I have never signed a treaty with the Federation, so I am not in violation of some agreement, and, two, my business with Arus is none of your business."
"Is that why you attacked my shuttle?" asked Commander Keith.
"Of course it is," said Lt. Commander Lance, as he growled. "He'll pull some 'Phantom Menace' garbage by killing us, and then claim that we never arrived on Arus."
"I do not know what this…'Phantom Menace' is, but you are correct in your summation as to what I will do to you all, once I have had my interrogators 'interview' you."
With that, King Zarkon leaves the dungeon.
"Well, this is a fine mess," said Ensign Hunk. "I just hope that I get a good meal before these creeps do me in."
"Would you stop thinking about food for once?" said Lt. Sven.
"But I'm so hungry!"
"We need to formulate a plan of action," Keith said.
"Well, you're the leader," Lance said. "Earn that promotion for once."
"You think I didn't earn it?"
"Considering the fact that you kissed a lot of butt to get to command school before everyone else, I beg to wonder."
"I consider that insubordination-"
"Gentlemen," Usagi said. "We don't have time for cadet-level antics."
"With all due respect ambassador: what can you do?" Keith asked.
"Watch, and learn," Usagi said, as she rolled up her sleeves. She then takes one of her sharp fingernail, and stabs her left wrist with it.
"Ewwwww!" said Pidge and Hunk.
"Now, THAT is 'hardcore'," Lance said.
"What are you doing?" Keith asked.
"In my line of work, you never know when the person or persons you're trying to negotiate a treaty with is going to throw a tantrum," Usagi said, as she pulls out a long, thin tube from her wrist.
"What is that?" Sven asked.
"Good ol' fashion plastique," Usagi said, as she cautiously rolled the plastique into a soft ball, before pressing it onto the lock. "With a hint of mercury fulminate."
"That's not very…diplomatic of you, ma'am," Pidge said.
"It's called having a diplomatic tool at one's disposal," Usagi replied, as she took one earring off her left earlobe, and embedded it into the plastique, and stepped backwards. "Tyrants are difficult, but naïve bureaucrats and politicians are even worse."
"Then why be a diplomat?" Keith asked.
"I became a diplomat because I believe that, given a chance, even the worse of species can be convinced that peaceful co-existence is in their best interest," Usagi replied, as she took her other earring off her right earlobe. "And sometimes it means using a bit of arm twisting to get all parties to the negotiating table…like so!"
Usagi taps her remaining earring in hand, causing the plastique to explode.
WHOOOM!
"There we go," Usagi said, as she discards earring.
"Are you crazy?" Sven asked, as he and his party recovers.
"I would be, if I stayed here," Usagi said, as she took a peek into the corridor. "Gentlemen?"
"Okay, guys!" Keith said. "Let's get our gear, and get out of here!"
"Right behind you!" Hunk said, as everyone began to follow the ambassador.
"Do you even know where you are going, Ambassador?" Lance said.
"Do you?" Usagi replied.
"Point taken."
Meanwhile, the witch Haggar gives King Zarkon some news.
"Sire, I have good news!" Haggar said, as she licked her lips.
"Speak plainly, woman!" Zarkon replied. "The prisoners are escaping!"
"Ah, but it is one of those prisoners who should be of particular interest to your plans. Observe…"
Haggar lifts her staff, and shows an image of Usagi in her in the guise of the fabled Moon Princess.
"My king, Ambassador Usagi Tsukino is none other than the fabled Moon Princess Serena," Haggar said. "If you take her as your bride, you lineage will reign supreme over the Universe until the end of time."
"Interesting," said Zarkon, who was now taking an interest in Usagi. "And will she submit to me willingly?"
"If you give her no choice in the matter, then yes, she will."
"Ex-cellent," Zarkon said, as he evilly intertwined his fingers. "I shall wed this Moon Princess, and only then will I be the ruler of the Universe…forever!"
Meanwhile, Zarkon's son, Prince Lotor spies on his father's council with his witch-advisor.
"I say thee NAY!" said the handsome Lotor, as he slammed his fist into the monitor that spied upon his father.
KRISSSSSHHHHH!
"I cannot allow my birthright to be taken away from me!" Lotor said, as he turned towards his personal guard. "See to it that the Moon Princess is captured, so that we may consummate our relationship immediately!"
"But, My Prince, what about the beautiful Princess Allura?" said the soldier. "Wasn't she supposed to be your future bride?"
"You have a good point, my minion," Lotor said. "I shall have them BOTH, with one as my wife, and the other as my concubine…"
Pause.
"This, I command!"
"Yes, Prince Lotor!" said Lotor's guard in unison, as they snapped to attention. For a long moment, no one made a move to enact Lotor's decree.
"Well, get going!" Lotor yelled, as his men fanned out…
"AH-CHOO!" Usagi sneezed, before wiping her nose. "There's that feeling again…"
"What?" Keith asked.
"Nothing. Alright, we need to know exactly where we are, in relations to the nearest space port around here."
"Leave that to me," Pidge said with confidence, as he took out what appeared to be a nano-computer.
"You brought that thing with you?" Sven asked.
"Hey, you know I like to keep up with my RPG buddies."
"You play games?" Usagi asked.
"Yep!" Pidge said with pride. "I'm a 98th level 'Technomancer'."
"Get-out!" Usagi said with enthusiasm. "I didn't know you played 'World of Warcraft, 250th Edition'!"
"You play?" Hunk asked.
"Sure. Part of my training as a diplomat years ago included 'Game Theory'," Usagi said. "Learning Game Theory allowed me to make predictions on the actions of variables given the scenario. But what helped me to actually learn the concept was by getting into RPGs; World of Warcraft was my favorite gaming series."
"What was your favorite character to play, ambassador?" Pidge asked.
"Why, the magical girl, of course," Usagi said with a wink and a nod.
"Awesome!"
"I hate to burst this 'geek-fest' bubble, but we have an exit to find," Lance said with annoyance.
"You've never escaped from high maximum security facility, have you my dear lieutenant?" Usagi said coyly.
"Uh, no…"
"Then zip it."
"What-?"
"Ah, zip it, as in 'shhh'!"
"What-?"
"Za-za-zip it!"
"But-!"
"Da-da-da-da-da!" Usagi said, as she pretends to crack a whip in the air. "Zip it! Zip it REAL good!"
"I give up…"
"Er, Pidge?" Keith asked, as he broke out in a sweat.
"Right!" Pidge said, as he began to scan for a nearby access point for his computer to hack into. "Anyway, I think I got the access point."
"Get to it, then," Sven said. "We don't know how long it will be before the guards show up-"
"There they are!" said the Zarkon's guards, as they round the corner.
"Too late," Usagi said, as she and the others turned to face the guards.
"Do you have to be so matter-of-fact about it?"
"Hey, fate favors the bold, young man."
"Well, I rather be alive to see another day."
"Of that, we agree."
Tbc.