Eyes closed, sleep clouding thoughts too tired to stand still.
Rough wood against feet, against back and legs. Warmth against skin, drifting stardust and smoke. Voices around her, poking her thoughts, pinching, drawing attention too many ways at once.
Dog closest, thoughts clearer. Watching the rabbit, make sure she was safe. Wouldn't let physical bodies crowd her. Couldn't stop the minds. Wanted to try, anyways.
Turned away, attention pulled by hawk clutching prey in its talons. Food for the hungry, drink for the thirsty. Legitimate claims and heartfelt concern. Pass any inspection, never find the medicine buried beneath.
Couldn't let revolters be healthy, made for stronger soldiers. Couldn't stretch too thin. Lot of people to fight. A King on his hill, falling out from beneath his feet.
She hummed, forgotten tune and words, sound all that mattered. Too quiet against the thoughts sweeping against hers. Didn't like the quiet. Arms and legs still hurt, snake hadn't wanted to let her leave. Couldn't stay any longer in the silver room wrapped in knives. Begged with all that voice and words and tears could muster.
Dog concession. Had to be close at all times. Guard the rabbit against the foxes lurking in the trees. The eagles. The wolves.
Something against the edge of her mind, different from the rest.
Bright.
Brows furrowed over skull. Confusion, sharp and clear, cutting away the strings pulling at her.
Science and logic held away.
Legend older than writing. Black wings in the night, against the stars, against th-
-She flinched, skin stabbing with pain. Felt the lies catch on her feet, holding her in place, igniting against her legs.
Shocked back to reality, lightning pretending to be water pulling away from her arm, concerned and guilty. Words gentle, soft.
"Are you alright? I'm very sorry for scaring you, I didn't mean to."
Blinked open eyes, red from tears. Blurred world, slowing to focus.
Too bright, couldn't see.
Blue eyes reflecting in the dark, blue hair and soul. Thunder flowing where blood should be, sharp and strong.
Burning question, concern. Little rabbit all alone in a field of grass, dangerous animals all around. Little bubble of safety looked like cage. Placed high in a tree for safety, could to et down without help.
Dog distracted, growling teeth bared at anyone who got too close. Didn't realize the sky was open, easy enough to alight in the tree with wind at side.
Thunder clouds were confused, silence had gone on for too long. Could she speak? Understand?
"She speaks." Whispered words, too low for dog ears to catch. Secret words for secret meetings. "Didn't scare her, just surprised." Blinked her eyes, lifted a hand to shield them, watering from the light. "Who are you?"
Didn't recognize. Felt familiar. Knew from dreams. Darkness clouding closer.
"My name is Aqua. I'm looking for a friend of mine, have you seen him? He's a few years younger than me, with blond hair and blue eyes."
Worry. Had run away from home. Hadn't been taught how to get back. Wasn't supposed to leave for months. All on his own out in the dark.
Blinked again.
"Like me."
Words escaped lips without warning, without thought. Lightning flashed, lit up the forest.
Blond haired boy was broken, heart shattered in two. Mind couldn't hear over memories, shoved them away. Little baby, didn't even know his name. Taken to a new place where memories didn't hurt. New people to replace the old. Slept for days, too much confusion, body too heavy and wrong for mind to grow. Bled and didn't know why. Terrified. Taken to a place that made body right, calmed the fear and pain. Learned slowly, needed help not to be hurt. Lightning had created safe spots, swirling green and calm. Help him collect thoughts, make them organized, not let them slip away again.
Tears burned, different from the flames. Hope soared. Couldn't believe. Couldn't be real. So much pain, so much water. Too many secrets that weren't hers.
Lifted her hands, frantic to catch the lightning before it faded, eyes desperate, rabbit heart pounding in chest. Struggled to form words against lump in throat. Struggled to shove away memories that weren't hers.
Palms stung and bandages grew tight, hands clasped desperately over surprised fingers. Voice fled, too overwhelmed to speak. Begged with her eyes, tears pouring faster, frustrated. Needed help. Couldn't ask.
Voice burst out. Wanted to shout. Couldn't. Hoarse and raw from screaming before when nightmares like hands clawed to grab her. Desperate whisper. "Must not leave, please don't leave! Have to stay, have to help! Can't form words, sentence too complex, can't understand. Reoccurring symbols defy the evidence. Fossils nonexistent. Didn't exist. How do you exist? Doesn't make sense-how did you help the boy?"
Thoughts swirled and spun, whipping tree branches and tearing leaves.
Hope soared to dash its best against her skull. Fingers turned white around arm. Gasp of pain. Tried to loose . Didn't mean to hurt. Didn't mean to bruise. Needed to understand. Couldn't stop hands from grabbing tighter.
Leapt to feet, shoved self from tree. Fell to ground, feet already braced against rough wood pounded smooth by countless feet.
Pulled against arm, tugged. Begged with eyes and arms and heart to follow, to forgive pain.
Had to bring to dog. Had to tell.
Bare feet hit against ground with all strength she had. Had to make noise. Too quiet for her own good. Needed to get dog's attention. Needed to show him her hope.
Light at edge of mind grew brighter, lightning frightened, prepared to break away, prepared to defend self with flashing blade and swirling dragon's breath.
Cried out, desperate. Tried to form a word. A name. "Jayne!"
Dog heard, turned to look. Saw the lightning in her grasp, saw the whiteness of her fingers, the danger preparing to strike.
Charged forward to meet them halfway, simple, long strides fueled by worry and anger. Teeth hidden just behind lips, ears back.
Lightning crackled, drew back. Towered over both of them. Confused.
Dog's growl clear and sharp, assessing. "Damnit, girl, can't we leave you alone for five minutes?" Gaze swung toward lightning, tensed. Back to her. "She try to hurt you, or have you picked yourself up another stray?"
Crossed arms over chest, eyes narrowed.
Blinked, vision blurred by tears. Shook her head. Couldn't speak, voice scared away. Hardly dared to breathe.
Dog spoke, directed at lightning. Didn't catch words. Couldn't comprehend.
Wasn't working. Wasn't working. Dog ordering her to release the arm gripped in white fingers. Hurting her. Didn't mean to. Didn't want to.
Didn't want to let go. Needed to understand.
Flash of red against tile. Flash of pain in feet and legs.
Jerked away with a gasp, fingers numb, lungs heaving, stomach rolling. Thought she saw red on lightning's arm. Thought she heard scream. Felt feet pounding against ground. Didn't want to lie down. Needed to understand.
Flinched, flinched again. Horror rose up like a wave inside her. She-she had-
Apologies swam like fish inside her throat, choking her. Didn't mean to, didn't mean to, didn't mean to.
Dropped to her knees on the wood, curled around legs. Lay down. She could lie down. She could walk. She could sleep. Pulled her hands around her head, covered eyes. Didn't want to see.
Dog went to knees beside her, worried, thought she was hurt.
Lightning, too, forgiving the pain.
Didn't want her to. Claren didn't mind. Needed her to mind. No, no, no, no, no! Nothing was right, nothing was safe, needed to hide, cover her ears, close her eyes, lie down, lie down, pretend the world was gone.
Pressed forehead to knees, and felt water creeping across her skin. Drawing attention. Drawing attention. Little girl with bandages and cropped hair curled in the dust. Hurt? Need help? Someone should go over. Snarling dog kept them at bay.
Words above her, beyond comprehension. Hand on her shoulder, snake scales sewn with diamonds.
Had the words, could explain. Uncovered her ears. Struggled to speak, struggled to make sense. Words a a way without her, muttered and jumbled, barely loud enough to hear. "Missing, something is missing. Too many needles. Can't repress. Explain. Have to explain. Can't find words. Species cannot understand own brain, only aliens. Only snakes. Explain, have to explain. Healed the boy, can heal me." Voice broke, gaze sought the blinding light. "Please heal me."
Dawning comprehension. Pain forgotten. Glowing eyes turned towards serpent, green gathering in mind. Needed to know what was wrong. Couldn't fix if didn't know.
Too many things. Too many thoughts, too many secrets, too many screams. Couldn't heal. Couldn't recover. Too many things that weren't hers. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. Not her secrets, not her fault. Holding her back.
Snake hesitated. Looked around. Saw the watching eyes. The curious concern. "Not here."
Dog frowned. Asked if she could stand. Shook her head. Didn't want to stand. Wanted to lie down. Didn't matter if it was wrong. Better lie than run. Didn't want to be a weapon. Didn't want to be afraid, angry, sad. Would rather be nothing. Rather be lost.
Dog scooped her up, cradled in gentle, strong arms. Rolling eyes and huffing annoyance. Didn't really mind.
She smiled, despite everything.
Carried up Serenity's ramp, lightning following hesitantly, as amazed as wary. Never been in a ship before, not one she'd seen the outside of, at least. Didn't realize what it was.
Snake stopped to gain permission, words short and hushed, conversation short. Trusted the strange girl, didn't know why.
Stopped when they reached the hated room with its silver walls that she blinked her eyes to see clearer. Didn't want to let the knives out of her sight. The needles. Might try to bite her, look into her eyes to see what she saw.
Dog tried to put her down. Clutched at his fur, stubborn. The floor was cold. Didn't want to walk. Liked being carried. Held. Couldn't fall down if the world spun.
Growling and glares, real annoyance this time.
She didn't mind.
Bit her lip, uneasy.
Should mind, shouldn't she? Bad to mind? Not to mind? Both. Had to pick one, couldn't choose both. Which was bad?
Frowned. Tugged on dog's arm and tried not to flinch. "Sorry."
Whisper, whisper. Couldn't be too loud. Snake was explaining. No point in listening, wouldn't be able to hear. Couldn't comprehend what had been taken from her, only that it was gone.
Dog sighed loudly. Thought apology was for being held.
Could feel snake's thoughts. Didn't know what the lightning could do, but trusted she could help. Had stopped being skeptical after old woman's tea leaves helped heal burns.
Explained what he knew, but wasn't much.
Lightning listened intently, focused and sharp. Picturing images impossible to comprehend.
The green grew brighter, stronger.
Warning, soft and firm. Wouldn't stop it all. Couldn't be fixed so easily. Help, nothing more. Would create safe spaces, calm spots. Place them through the ship. Help her organize mind. Wouldn't stop the pain, wouldn't stop the fear. Had to be dealt with by time.
Green began to take shape.
Lightning spoke, voice beyond hearing, asking dog to put her down.
Set down on the floor. Didn't want to stand. Sat down instead. Wasn't allowed to lie down, though. Snake didn't understand. Thought she was tired.
Lightning crouched infront of her, and twisting thoughts swirled slower, slower, slower...
River blinked, and looked at Aqua.
She could see, beyond the edges of the girl's skin, beyond normal vision, bright green light wavering, condensing, forming a shape in the girl's mind, understanding details too minute for River to possibly comprehend.
And somewhere to the side, invisible but to the two of them, a bright, glowing key.
Aqua reached out a hand that writhed with green light, and touched her fingertips to River's forehead.
Blackness dropped down and covered the world as something inside her began to shift and grow in a way that didn't allow for concious thoughts to interfere.