Disclaimer – I don't own Hellsing or any of its Characters. I don't own Resident Evil either.


She was lying there, on the floor, clenching at her arm. She had been shot. Things happened so fast she didn't even realise what was going on.
She had come to London for a little "holiday". Max phoned her and said it would be a "good idea" to go to England, London perhaps. So she went there, with the idea of visiting some museums and such…

She was on the street, walking in a very bad neighbourhood when suddenly some strange guy tried to attack her. But not a normal kind of attack, he wanted to bite her! She, although her petite form, was able to push him off her and pushed the little revolver she brought along with her and shot him in a leg. Her eyes had widened in horror and surprise when she saw him getting up, and groaning, going at her again. His skin had a very strange and sickening grey colour and his voice… Well, it wasn't a voice; it was more like a sound you see zombies make in bad movies. She didn't know why, but suddenly the name Resident Evil popped in her head and she shot him in the head, the bullet opening his skull from the eyes up. But instead of blood and brains that was the normal stuff that comes out when one shots someone in the head, the guy turned into ashes.

– Holy crap! – She whispered. – What the fuck just happened?

She could hear some strange sounds coming her way again from one of the alleys. She looked back to see even more guys like the one she had just shot. The sound of screeching tires made her look in front again. It was an armoured truck, and guys in uniforms got out of it, holding guns and starting to shot the mob behind her.

– Man, talk about being in the wrong place in the wrong hour! – She groaned.

What now? She was in the middle of a bloody war! Where to run to? The mob wasn't a good idea, if that one tried to bite her she had a pretty good idea what would happen if she ran that way.

– So, military it is!

She started running to where the armoured truck was and suddenly she felt an impact followed by pain on her left shoulder. She fell backwards, her head hitting the ground.


So now there she was. Zombies in one side and guys with guns on the other.

Her shoulder bleeding and she didn't know where her gun was.

– Great, just great!

With all the times she almost died, she had to die in a war that wasn't even hers!

She let out a scream when one of the soldiers fell right in front of her, with half his head missing.

– "Ok, there is only one way I can get out of this alive!" – She picked up the AK–47 and a bag that was next to the body, hoping that would be ammunition, and got up. The mob was now reduced to a dozen or so, so she decided to take that way out. Firing it with her right hand was a bit of a problem, but she managed to stuck it against her hip and commenced running, having the care to stay close to the walls, and shooting whatever got in her way. It looked like she was blowing up flour bags; they collapsed in ashes when shot on the chest or head. When the gun ran out off bullets she tried to look in the bag, but it was a problem. She only had one functional arm, and that one was holding the gun, and besides, she needed both hands to put a new clip in the gun!

– I'm so stupid!

So running was the only way out! If she managed to be fast enough… And the zombie like people didn't seem to be that fast, she only had to kick some out of the way and maybe she could get out of this mess and get herself to a hospital.

She started running as fast as she could, grabbing on to her arm. But when she got to the other side of the mob, she looked back to see if anyone was following her.

She hit something and fell with her but on the floor, still grabbing on her arm.

– Shit! – She hissed.

– You're human!

She looked up to see a blonde man. He had a patch over one of his eyes and what seemed to be braided hair around his neck.

– No shit Sherlock. – She said, looking at him in a pissed off kind of way.

He laughed.

– Hey! We seem to have a survivor here!

– What the hell is going on here?

– Nothing much. An angered mob.

– Right. – She said, extending the word, trying to stand up on her own.

– Is that the survivor?

She heard a low baritone voice behind the blonde man ask. She looked up to it and was about to spit out one of her "totally unnecessary comments", as Max used to call them, but it got stuck between her brain and her mouth.

Standing behind the blonde guy there was a very tall man, wearing a big hat, red, and he seemed to be wearing a big overcoat, also red. When she looked at his face was when her speaking ability was lost. His eyes seemed to shine, even being half covered by red tinted glasses and he had a strange smirk on his face that showed one fang. A Fang!

She lifted her right arm and pointed at him, her hand shaking.

– Wha… what… what is that? – She stuttered.

He gave her the creeps. He widened his smirk when he saw the total horror in the girl's eyes.

– Mr. Alucard! I didn't know you were assigned to this mission.

The blonde man looked at the creepy one.

– I wasn't. I just came here to see how you were doing. And blow some heads off in the process. I was bored.

– "This is my chance to get the fuck out of here!" – She thought, getting herself up and starting running into an alley close by. But she didn't have time to give two steps; a hand involved her left shoulder, sending a wave of pain all through her body, and making a scream slip out her lips. She turned around, her right hand in a fist and punched the blonde man's nose.

– Are you stupid or what? Damn! That hurts ya know? Jeeezze! – She groaned, grabbing her throbbing arm.

He stood there looking at her with awe, grabbing his nose. And against all odds, he started chuckling.

– That was a good punch! For a little girl like you of course.

Her eye started twitching in annoyance. She knew she wasn't tall and she was almost as flat as a damn table. But calling her little girl? She was twenty for Christ sake!

– I am not A LITTLE GIRL! – It started as a whisper, but ended in a loud scream. She gave a step to him her finger up and pointed at the middle of the blonde's eyes… Err… Patch and eye.

– Don't you ever call me a little girl again! – She hissed, her green eyes shining in anger.

He leaned over to her, a malicious smile on his face.

– "He his attractive!" – The thought was followed by a mental slap. – "What the hell did that came from!"

– You have pretty eyes! – He said, smirking.

She opened her mouth to say something but her brain wasn't functioning anymore. It was the second time that day that she was speechless. What were the odds of that happening? Not many, I can assure that much.

– I… I… – She stuttered.

He straightened himself and chuckled.

– Where were you going in that condition?

She remembered the creepy guy which made a shiver run up and down her spine.

– Out of here! To a hospital! Somewhere but here!

– You can't. You have to come with me.

– How come?

– Damage control. You have to talk to one of our investigators.

– "Police? Damn!"

She was in England, but even so, she didn't want to take the risk. She gave a step back.

– No, no cops.

The blonde man furrowed his eyebrows. What was she afraid of?

– We're not cops li… – He stopped. He was about to say little girl, but she shot him a "if you say it I will kick your balls" kind of glare. He sighed.

– What's your name?

She looked at him with suspicion in her eyes. After some moments she muttered:

– Jack.

–What?

She was playing with him for sure.

– Come on; tell me your real name!

She narrowed her eyes, shooting daggers at him.

– I told you my name is Jack!

– But you are a girl!

She rolled her eyes.

– No shit?

– You really like saying that, don't you?

– Only to blondes that say obvious things like they're the strangest thing on earth. – She said flatly.

Her arm was numb by now, she had lost a lot of blood and it was starting to affect her sight. She blinked a couple of times.

When she looked up at him she saw he had a serious look on his face. And something else. Concern.

– Are you ok Jack? Stop being stubborn and come with me.

She gave a clumsy step back. Her legs were starting to fail her.

– I…

– You are as pale as a dead man.

– If she doesn't want to come we can leave her here. – A low voice was heard. Jack saw the creepy man named Alucard taking something out of his red overcoat. It was a gun! A big silver bad ass looking gun! – Or I can shoot her right now and get it over with.

Jack became even paler, eyes wide open. She was looking again into those big fiery red orbs that seemed pools of insanity and that combined with the sight of the gun pointed at her head scared the living daylights out of her. Literally. She passed out.

Pip looked as the young girl crash stiff as a board to the floor. He looked up at Alucard with an annoyed expression.

– Did you have to do that?

Alucard put the Casull in his overcoat again.

– I just wanted to scare her a little.

– A little? What would you have done if you wanted to scare her a lot?

– I didn't know she would react like that. But even so – He said, grinning. – It was fun.

Pip rolled his eyes. Alucard had the strangest sense of humour! He kneeled down next to her.

– I hope you didn't scare her to death!

– It wouldn't be the first time…

Pip took her pulse on the neck.

– Ok, she is still alive. I'm going to take her to the first aid truck.

– What's going on here?

Pip took Jack in his arms and looked back to see Ceras. Alucard was gone.

– Your Master seems to have a way with girls.

Ceras furrowed her brows together, confused.

Pip made a move with his head to the passed out girl in his arms.

– They "fall" for him like flies. – Then he grinned.

– Did he kill her?

– No. But he scared her to the point of fainting.

Ceras sweat dropped.

– He has been a little bored lately. – She sighed, remembering the last one her Master pulled on her. – So he tends to… err… find the strangest forms to amuse himself.

Pip and Ceras were walking side by side to the first aid truck that always came in missions. Pip quirked an eyebrow looking at Ceras.

– Strangest forms?

– Don't ask… – She looked at him and noticed a little blood on his nose. – Talking about asking… What happened to your nose?

He looked at Jack. She had her mouth half opened in a very retarded kind of way. He could swear he could see a little drool coming out of it.

– She punched me.

Ceras started laughing. Pip frowned.

– That's not funny! – He muttered, almost pouting. That only made Ceras laugh even harder.

– She… HAHAHAH… She punched you?

Pip let out an exasperated sigh and shot Ceras a nasty look that made her stop laughing. At least as loud as she was, because she continued following him, her hand over her mouth trying to conceal her chuckles.


Ok, first chapter up. Frankly, I don't know where this is going, but I'm trying to make it funny (trying is the key word here people).

So, depending on the reviews I get, I will continue, or not, writing this.

Waiting to hear from you

Cleopatra Kat