Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, if I did we'd all be in very big trouble...though I must admit it might be interesting to see this fic animated...
A/N: I've been meaning to jump back in fan fic boat for a while but I had this massive case of writers block that lasted for not days, not weeks, or even months, but years. Anyway my writing before was crap so let's see if the years have improved me...Oh and this fic is not meant to be taken seriously. At. All. Yeah...I'm gonna shut up now.
It hadn't been Roy's fault. No really. How was he supposed to have known the abandoned building they were in had a back room filled with highly explosive chemicals? If it was anyone's fault it was Scar's. He should have known better than to go in there with the Flame Alchemist chasing after him. It was also Fullmetal's fault for...um...well it just was. Everything was Fullmetal's fault somehow in the end.
Another thing that wasn't his fault was the fact that some random psycho alchemist had 'brought them back to life' just to see if he could and promptly managed to kill himself in the process. Although Hawkeye had suggested that the aforementioned psycho wouldn't have been on the streets if he had just done his paperwork...yeah right. Like that had anything to do with it...
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" ...And Edward was yelling at him...again.
"This is not my fault. I refuse to acknowledge that I am anything but a victim in this situation."
Edward growled. "This. Is. Your. FAULT!"
"Sir-"
"Yes, the paperwork, you already mentioned that, Hawkeye."
"Excuse me?"
"Yes, Alphonse?"
"We're all homunculuses now, right?"
"...Right...Though I'm not exactly sure how a suit of armor can be a homunculus..."
"So shouldn't we have some kind of powers like the Sins do?" Alphonse asked, completely ignoring the last part of the Colonel's statement.
"...I suppose..."
"So are we sins too then?"
"Of course not," Ed broke in, "there are only seven Deadly Sins...We'd have to be something else like..."
"The Seven Annoyingly Bad Habits!"
Everyone looked around franticly trying to find to person who had just said that. Suddenly a figure emerged from the shadows...
"You!" Roy exclaimed, "But you're dead!"
"So are you."
"...Good point."
"That doesn't explain how you're suddenly here." Havoc put in.
"Oh, that psycho guy just decided to do me too just for the hell of it."
"Oh, well, that's a good name you came up with, Hughes." Roy smiled.
"Yeah, I had a while to think it up. He did me a few days ago." Hughes grinned.
"Well I know who Hawkeye should be right off."
"Who?"
Hawkeye eyed Roy suspiciously.
"Nagging People To Death!"
Hawkeye...or...er...Nagging People To Death narrowed her eyes. "Sir-"
"And you can be Having An Absurdly High Addiction To Coffee." Hughes snickered.
Roy or rather Having An Absurdly High Addiction To Coffee looked indignant then smiled evilly. "And you can be Forcing People To Look At Ridiculously Large Amounts Of Family Photos."
"Okay!" Hughes Forcing People To Look At Ridiculously Large Amounts Of Family Photos said, not at all phased. "And Havoc can be Smoking Indoors."
"And Scar can be Preaching To Random People."
Preaching To Random People, who had up until this point been sitting quietly in a corner, hoping the others would forget about him and just go away, growled at Having An Absurdly High Addiction To Coffee.
Forcing People To Look At Ridiculously Large Amounts Of Family Photos continued, "And Ed can be Yelling At People For No Reason."
"Hey!" Yelling At People For No Reason yelled.
"And Alphonse," Having An Absurdly High Addiction To Coffee said ignoring him, "can be Being Extremely Passive And Naive."
"Um...ok." Being Extremely Passive And Naive said.
"Now that everyone has a name let's go outside and see what damage we can do...or...uh...I mean see what kind of powers we have..." Forcing People To Look At Ridiculously Large Amounts Of Family Photos suggested.
"Okay!" Having An Absurdly High Addiction To Coffee said smirking.
The two walk over to Preaching To Random People, grabbed one arm each, and hauled him outside kicking and screaming...Well kicking anyway, as Preaching To Random People thought himself to dignified to start screaming like a little girl.
The others exchanged looks then followed them reluctantly outside.
A/N: ...Uh...yeah...Please review even if it's only to say that I suck and should run out of the fandom on a pole by an angry mob. However if you do decide to do the angry mob thing, I only request that you take pictures, as I'm sure my dad would find them amusing.