Going Under
Here is my new story so please read and review.
I warn you now it is dark...well chapter one is alright but it will get darker and more depressing.
I own nothing to do with Firefly - I'm just playing here a while. Chac is the ancient Mayan god of rain for anyone who cares.
Chapter One: Whos Sleeping in My Bed?
"Turn around so I can undress."
Captain Malcolm Reynolds sighed and turned his back while the woman behind him undressed and slipped into the large double bed in the centre of the hotel room. Mal hates hotels. Waste of money. But the damn storm meant they couldn't get home. And now he was here, with her.
"All done cap'n," she says brightly.
Mal turns round and smiles at his mechanic who has the covers pulled up to her chin. Its not that she's prudish, its that she thinks he is.
"I…uh…" Mal wants to delay this moment a bit longer. "Maybe I'll go check at reception about another room."
Kaylee fixes him with a look. "There are no other rooms Mal." She flips back the covers on his side of the bed, and his catches a glance of a little more of Kaylee than he feels is appropriate.
"Uh…" he turns his head so he's looking away from the flash of white lace and length of leg poking out of the covers.
"Just get into bed darling." Kaylee slaps the space next to her.
Mal sighs. "Fine." It's going to be a long night. "Its just you know I hate being away from Serenity. Things tend to go wrong."
He pulls his coat off and unsnaps his suspenders. Kaylee turns her face away, but can't resist sneaking a peek. He climbs into the bed and slaps off the light. He lies there in the dark staring at the ceiling. Kaylee rolls towards him and he has to blow away a mouthful of hair. She snuggles up against him and he sighs, and wraps an arm around her. He finds her forehead with his lips through the hair.
"G'night Captain Tightshorts."
Mal pulls a face in the dark. "Goodnight Kaylee."
"Simon."
He opened his eyes to find River standing over him. He's dozed off on the sofa outside the infirmary. He had intended to stay awake until Kaylee and the captain returned. He blinks sleepily.
"Simon," she repeats insistently.
"What River?"
His sleep-addled brain vaguely notices that she has red and white flowers twisted down the lengths of her hair. Maybe Inara had done it for her.
"Don't worry about Kaylee," River says seriously. "She's sleeping with the captain."
Simon's eyebrows disappear into his hair.
"Not like that, dummy. Dirty mind."
Simon rubs his eyes. River points her toe at him, ballet like. "I'm going to be a dancer when I grow up."
He nods, a lump in his throat. She said that when she little. "Of course mei mei."
"I'm going to hunt porcupines. Pull out their quills." She cocks her head and listens to the rain on the hull. "I'm going to be a fire-fighter when the floods roll back."
Simon sits up. "River…"
She twists away from his hand. "Got to go hunt porcupines."
He grabs her arm. "What?"
She screams and he wakes up. He's still lying on the sofa and River isn't there. But there is screaming. He sits bolt upright. River! He leaps to his feet and runs.
He's coming. She can hear his footsteps on the catwalk above her. She claps her hands over her ears.
"Sssh River. We're here." Book's calm voice soothes her for a moment.
Book. Paper. Paper bound to make a book Wisdom inside.
"What is it River?" Zoë asks her.
"He's coming. Needles and pins. Porcupine hunter."
Jayne hovers nearby actually looking a little concerned. River is worse this time.
"River…" Simon gets onto his knees and reaches for the cowering shape that is his sister. Her dress is practically shredded. She shrinks away from him. There is fear in her eyes. Wash appears behind Simon holding a blanket.
"No…no," River babbles at him. "Stop singing! Too much singing."
"There's no singing River." Simon takes the blanket and tries to cover her with it. She struggles wildly with him.
"I hate it! I'm not a girl. Hate it. You sing in my head. It goes away. Being a girl. I'm a porcupine. Singing. Strangers singing in my head." She points viciously at him. "Stranger!"
"River!" Simon stares at her in disbelief. He grabs hold of her arms.
River claws wildly at him with her fingernails, drawing blood as she flails and scratches. A cloud of flying hair and sharp nails. Kicking and screaming and absolutely terrified. Her fingers catch the front of his shirt and several buttons come popping off. She flings herself back against the wall with a bang. Simon stumbles backwards to his feet and stares at his hysterical sister, his shirt ripped and his arms bleeding from all the tiny wounds she has inflicted.
River clamps her hands back over her ears and screams. Simon's instinctive reaction is to reach for her.
"We got it doctor." Zoë puts her hand on River's arm.
"But…"
"We got it."
River looks round and fixes him with a vicious stare. "You. You stick me with needles and pins. Pincushion. Porcupine. Don't make me better, makes me worse. You. You're just like them!"
Simon stares at her in utmost horror. How can she say that? Inara takes hold of his arms and steers him away numbly.
Wash is laying the blanket around River's shoulders, and Simon thinks that's his job; she's his sister; and for a moment he hates the man with his arm round her and concern in his eyes.
Inara leads him to her shuttle and sits him down on the edge of her bed. He doesn't say a word. She goes and gets a bowl of water and a sponge, and kneels at his feet. She dabs carefully at his scratches.
"She hates me," he finally says.
"No, Simon…"
He nods. "Yes she does. I can't fix her. I dragged her halfway round the 'verse for nothing. I'm not a good enough doctor."
Inara lays the sponge down in the bowl and moves to sit next to him. His head is bowed and his lower lip looks like it's wobbling. Inara has never seen him cry. After everything he's been through, all the hurts and all the hardships, she's never seen him cry. But now, big fat tears splash onto his nose.
He hiccups and rubs his eyes. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't…"
"Don't be, Simon," she says gently. "You're a wonderful doctor. You're doing your best. You've helped her so much."
Simon's face crumpled again and his lip wobbled. He was trying so hard not to cry in front of her. Finally he couldn't hold on and he buried his face in his hands. His whole body shook with his sobs. Inara gently puts her arms around him and pulls him to her. She rocks him soothingly. His head is resting on her chest and his tears are making a wet patch on her dress. She ignores it and makes soft calming noises to him.
"Ssshh Simon. You're safe. River's safe. Ssshh sweetie don't cry."
It is as if he's held everything inside so tightly for so long that he can't stop now its been released. All the stress of trying to keep River safe, running and just living with what he has done.
He whimpers like a small child against her chest. Inara's heart hurt for him. Poor Simon. He's been through so much. Slowly though his crying subsides and he sits shaking on her bed. Inara helps him lie down despite his weak protests.
"Hush Simon. Just sleep."
His red puffy eyes droop closed and his breathing eases slowly.
Inara rubs his hand gently. "Sleep Simon. I'll be here. You're safe now."
Jayne clambers down into his room in the dark, already pulling his t-shirt off over his head. He fumbles for the light switch before slapping it on. He turns to his bunk.
"What the?"
River sits up in his bunk, still wearing the shredded dress from earlier. It leaves little to the imagination.
"Safe here. Like a cocoon."
Jayne turns round and climbs out of his room without a word.
"Zoë!"
Wash appears at the end of the corridor, smirking. "Found her did you?"
"What the good gorram is she doing in my bunk?"
"Ah wacky fun."
"Hundan."
Wash spreads his hands. "We couldn't get her to go anywhere else. Just don't let Mal catch you. Or Simon."
"I ain't afraid of the doc." I might be a little of Mal though.
Jayne rolls his eyes and vanishes back down the ladder. He swears under his breath. He can't leave the feng kuag girl alone with his guns and knives.
He settles himself in a seated position against the furthest wall from the bunk without a word. He shuffles and tries to get comfortable. River stares at him wide eyed.
"What?" he growls at her.
"Jayne," she says seriously. "The porcupine doesn't bite. Stroke me the right way and I won't hurt you."
"You're a gorram moonbrain girl!" Jayne snaps.
She points at his pictures on the wall. "Is that what you want your women to look like?"
"Hell yes." Jayne grins.
River slides the strap of her dress down her shoulder and Jayne's grin freezes on his face. "What you doing?"
She stares at him intently, dark eyes never leaving his, strap slipping lower. "Sick of being a girl. Crazy girl. Make me a woman Jayne. Make it go away."
"What?" Jayne's mouth drops open.
"Please Jayne. Make me a woman." She blinks at him. "Please."
Jayne stands up slowly and goes to the edge of the bed. He can see the longing in her eyes. He can't take advantage of her. She's just a girl. He leans forwards and she tilts her face to his, lips slightly parted.
"No," he says firmly. He grabs a blanket from behind her and wraps it round her shoulders.
"You have to make it stop." She grabs at his arms.
"No I don't. That won't help River." And Simon would kill me, no matter what he said. He'd inject me with something horrible and then Mal would flush my corpse out of the airlock.
A fat tear works its way slowly down her nose.
"Now just sleep."
"Stay…" she pleads, gesturing to the bed beside her.
"I…" Jayne starts and then sees the look in her eyes. "Alright."
He lays down carefully on the bed beside her. River snuggles her back against him.
"See no quills," she murmurs softly then falls asleep.
Translation Notes:
Hundan – bastard.
Feng kuag – crazy, insane