Disclaimer: The Twilight series belongs to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. The song "When You're Gone" belongs to Avril Lavigne.
A/N: This is my first Twilight fanfic. It's basically some thoughts and reflections of Bella's after Edward leaves her. R&R.
"I always
needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I
cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone"
I miss him so much. Why, why, why did he leave me? He took everything that reminded me of him away. My lullaby and my pictures are gone. I wish he would've taken my memories with him. My heart is shattered. Edward Cullen is my everything and my everything is gone. How could someone who saved my life more than once, and had to overcome his biggest craving and fear to save me one of those times just leave me….
"Carlisle is she dead" Edward Cullen asked his father.
"No, not yet but you must save her. You have to suck the poison out the James injected her with" Carlisle answered.
"I-I-I can't. I don't know if I can control myself" fretted Edward.
"You can, I know you can. You love Bella so much and because of that you already show so much self control" replied Carlisle.
Edward rushed into the empty dance studio and found his Bella bloody and on the ground. He noticed that his siblings had left the room due to the delicious scent of Bella's blood. He leaned over her body found his focus and sucked the poison out of her limp body.
"Edward?" My soft voice whispered.
"I'm here" answered Edward.
"Good" I replied.
"Bella, I'm so sorry I let this happen to you. I'm dangerous to your health. I love you, but I can't put you through this" said Edward.
"Shhh, it's okay. I'm a walking disaster without you. But at least with you I have a reason to get hurt" I said slightly chuckling.
"Oh Bella Swann I love you so much, and I'll be here always with you" Edward replied.
I wish there was a way to erase my memories. I still remember the way he held me at night while I slept. I know since he couldn't sleep that he would watch me through the night. My bed is so empty without him.
"Do you want me to stay?" Edward asked.
"Yes, I do" was my reply.
"Okay, I'll be there before you will" Edward replied as he leaned over to give me a kiss.
I smiled and replied "I know."
"And the bed
where you lie
is made up on your side"
Gah, I remember the day he left me like it was yesterday. We went into the wooded area across the street from my house. I knew something was up because he had been acting strange the whole day. I don't remember every detail but I remember him telling me that he couldn't bear to put in danger and that he and his family were moving. I remember my head swimming and feeling as if my heart was going to explode, and I remember watching him walk away…and I remember the pain.
"When you walk
away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need
you right now?"
I feel like a zombie, or maybe I feel like I'm in a comma. I think that Charlie is worried about me; I'm impressed that I even remembered who Charlie is. He's that guy that I live with and cook for. He's upset with Edward for leaving me, and he wants me to turn to Jacob to rid my thoughts of Edward.
"I really don't want Edward Cullen back in this house. I've seen what damage he's done to you" said Charlie
"Hmmm" was my reply.
"Bella, you should really go spend some time in La Push with Jacob. I'm sure he'd cheer you up."
"Uh huh" I responded.
"Bella are you listening to me? Bella, hello" Charlie inquired.
"Um sure, well it's getting late, I should probably get into bed" I said.
"Bella, it's only 8pm" Charlie said as I was going upstairs to cry.
"When
you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you"
His eyes were so beautiful. They were this beautiful shade of an amber color when he was well fed. His face was handsome. I miss seeing his face everyday. I miss his kisses. I missed the way he looked in the sunlight, something so strange, beautiful, and mesmerizing.
"When you're
gone
The face I came to know is missing too"
One of the best gifts I've ever gotten was a CD with the lullaby that Edward had made me was on it. It was so amazing and soothing. I love to listen to him talk. I felt at peace and safe when he held me in his arms and we talked.
When you're
gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the
day
And make it OK
Damnit! Why? Why is the thing I love the most gone?
"I miss you"
