It's been a week since the TARDIS had been forced inside the human body of Idris, and Amy could tell the Doctor was still broken up about it. Though he wouldn't ever say anything in front of her and Rory, Amy could tell he was hurting. He'd disappear for hours on end, in some hidden room in the TARDIS where Amy and Rory couldn't find him. Usually they'd wait for him in the console room, just in case he'd decide he was done being upset and wanted to travel again. Amy thought he'd disappeared to go and try to make the TARDIS talk. Rory agreed. It was about 10:30 and the Ponds had decided to retire to bed. The Doctor, however, sat in his control chair and pretended to be fixing something.
"Okay Doctor, we're off to bed." He didn't look up from his wiring until Amy cleared her throat. He stared at her for a moment, then gave her a forced smile and said,
"Goodnight Pond." She smiled sadly and turned away from him, clasping hands with her husband. They were on their way back to their room to do a bit more than sleep when they stumbled upon a room they'd never seen before. On the door, in red letters, said one word; Rose.
"Rose," Amy repeated softly, tracing the letters with a freshly manicured finger. "What do you think is in here?"
"Uh Amy, I think we should just go back to bed."
"You're just saying that because you want to shag." He looked behind his back to make sure the Doctor couldn't hear him when Rory said,
"Maybe, but if that's someone's room we probably shouldn't be going in, and- Amy, what are you doing? Don't open that door. Amy." Amy pushed open the door and peered inside. Her eyes opened wide and she stepped further inside. Inside, the room was an ordinary girl's room. It was full of alien trinkets that must have been found on various travels with the Doctor. There were pictures scattered across the walls of a spiky-haired man and a blonde woman. The blonde woman must be Rose. Amy thought she was very beautiful.
"Who was she?" Amy asked softly, more to herself than anyone else.
"Her name is Rose. Rose Tyler." Amy spun around quickly to find the Doctor leaning against the door frame. She opened her mouth to say something, but the Doctor spoke before her. "I'm surprised you didn't find this sooner, what with her room being next to yours."
"Who was she?" Amy asked. The Doctor awkwardly fixed his bow tie while he said,
"She was a companion of mine."
"Was?" Amy asked softly.
"She's still alive," the Doctor said. "She's just.. gone." Amy looked around the room more closely and instantly felt guilty. Whomever Rose Tyler was, is, she was someone special to him. The sheets were slightly rumpled, indicating someone had been sitting on the bed. It must have been him. Rory was giving Amy the 'Lets go before things get even more awkward' look, but being the curious woman Amy is, she ignored him. The Doctor was obviously upset. He was just standing there, looking so out of place and sad.
"Come on," she said, "I'll make you some tea." She grabbed his arm and led him into the kitchen where she brewed the trio a cuppa.
"Doctor," she said after the three got comfortable, voice barely above a whisper. She put her hand on his shoulder, "Who was she?" He flexed his jaw and fixed his eyes on the tea in his cup. When he looked back up at her, his eyes were glassy, filled with unshed tears.
"She traveled with me. She was the first person I brought aboard with em after the Time War, two regenerations ago." Amy's eyes grew wide. He'd told her how he'd been after the Time War; cold, detached, angry. He said someone helped him through that, but never gave a name. Amy took his hand.
"What happened?"
"I did something very, very stupid. I fell in love with her." The TARDIS grew quiet. Amy wasn't sure if he was going to divulge more, so she sipped her tea quietly, even though it had gone cold. "I regenerated without telling her that could happen. She changed me into a better person, and I fell in love with her even more. But we got.. separated. Then, we find each other again after al the odds, and I lose her again. And that time it was entirely my fault and I can't believe I did that. Real thick thing to do, I-" he paused. "I miss her." Amy and Rory shared a sad look.
"When you regenerate," Rory said, "I thought you changed personalities. Likes, dislikes. Do you.. Do you still love her?" The Doctor was silent for a moment, looking down at his long forgotten tea.
"I don't know. I know that I miss her, and I can remember loving her, but.. I don't think so, no. I think if I saw her again, I'd invite her along, but to actuallybe with her? No, I don't think I would." Amy gave him a look of pure sympathy, as if she knew what he was going through. Not sure of your feelings for someone you used to love. Amy knew that feeling all too well, but now that was in the past. She was in love with Rory more than ever now and was never going to let him go. "You should get to bed Ponds. I'm afraid my feelings got in the way of your.. plans." He was back to his old sarcastic, funny self, but Amy could tell he wasn't completely back to normal. The Ponds stood and began the walk back to their room. Amy had just left the room when she spun back around and cried,
"Doctor!" He turned to look at her. "I'm sure Rose doesn't blame you, for her getting left behind I mean. Sometimes that happens. I'm sure she still loves you." The Doctor smiled at her, and though it was a sad smile, it was a real one. Rory took her hand and together they went back to their bedroom.
That night, Amelia and Rory didn't make love. Instead, they laid in each other's arms and declared their love for one another. As they drifted off to sleep, Amy reached her hand out to her husband's and held it tight. She knew the Doctor feared the day that the married couple would want to start a family and leave him, or if they would get lost, or even die. Amelia vowed to herself that she would prove to him everyday just how much her and her husband loved him, and that they were never going to leave him. Not ever.