Hi everyone! So during the summer, I went to go see The Expendables with my best friend. The scene where Jason Statham shows up at Charisma Carpenter's place and she has this huge bruise on her cheek really resonated with me. And of course, I was thrilled when Statham beat the shit out of her boyfriend. And so... this story was born. I decided I would share it with you all. Let me know if it's worth continuing, if you like it; if you don't like, tell me why. Thanks!

Summary: During their summer vacation, Uzumaki Naruto reaches out to a previously estranged friend of his, Uchiha Sasuke. Why has he done this? What kind of trouble is Naruto in? Sasuke is wondering about the same things... (AU, Inspired by the movie The Expendables)

Pairings: Eventually Naruto & Sasuke. Past mentions of Naruto/? a.k.a. He-Who-Will-Be-Named-Later. Other minor pairings may pop up.

Warnings: Profanity; Mentions of depression, abuse, sex. Teen Rating. Lots of dialogue.

Inspiration: The Expendables & Hover (Quiet Mix) by Trust Company

People may not realize it, but I'm actually a dark person. Maybe that's how I got into this mess in the first place. I thought I needed someone just as dark as I was, just as chaotic and muddled and angry and irrational. But I was wrong. I guess that's how I ended up with a bruise covering half of my face. I guess that how I also ended up calling Uchiha Sasuke, whom I haven't spoken to in years…

Reconnected

Chapter 1

"Uchiha Sasuke speaking."

"Yo, teme! It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"… … Naruto?"

"Duh, who'd you think it was, Sandy Claws?"

"Hn… what do you want, dobe?"

"Aw, nothing, just wanted to hear your beautiful voice. How've you been?"

"Naruto, I have a meeting in fifteen-"

"Can I crash at your place for a while? I need to get away."

"Why? Can't you stay with someone else?"

"… No? Nee, come on, Sasuke! Please? I really… I need to get away."

"… Fine. Do you need my address?"

"Nope! I got it from Suigetsu."

"I suppose I'll see you when I get home from work."

"I'll have dinner ready by the time you get back, darling."

"Fantastic. Oh and Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"You're going to tell me what's wrong later."

"Haha, what? Nothing's wrong. Can't friends just reconnect?"

"The last time I saw you, you told me you never wanted to see me again. Why would you want to reconnect with me?"

"Truthfully… I don't. But like I said, I need to get away. Anyways, I gotta go!"

"Na-"

I hung up before Sasuke could psychoanalyze me anymore than he already had. He was such a bastard. But I had nowhere else to go. So I packed up a bunch of my shit, switched his conditioner with hair removal cream, poured half of his alcohol down the sink and filled the bottles with Ipecac-laced soda (I was a prankster, after all), and ran out, leaving this note for my new ex-boyfriend:

It's over. The next time you wanna hit someone, think about the consequences first. Go to hell.

Uzumaki Naruto

As I rode down the elevator, I stared at my face in the mirror. It was going to take a long time for that bruise to heal. I touched it gently and winced. It hurt like a bitch. I let out another sigh. It was going to take me about an hour to reach Sasuke's condo. I'd have to take the train, the subway, and then the bus. Damn teme lived too far away.

I left the apartment complex that had been my home for the past four months. I'm used to crazy fast transitions; I'm an orphan, after all. There's never been stability in my life. It's kind of sad, though, to be twenty-one and to have no idea what home means. But it's okay, I fit in everywhere and anywhere. It's not like I have a choice. I can't stay in that apartment, not with him living there.

Personally, I thought things had been going well between us. But I guess not. I can't let any of my friends see me like this. Sakura-chan would just become furious and storm in, ready to kick some ass. Actually, so would Kiba, Shika, Sai, Neji, Gaara, and wow, I have a lot of friends. It's only a matter of time before one of them finds me, but I think I've got the best hiding place for now. After all, everyone knows that I hate Sasuke, so that would be the last place anyone would look for me.

Did I always hate Sasuke? Hell no, we were practically attached at the hip freshman year. We were both so naïve back then (or at least I'd like to think he was) and carefree; we barely had any homework. God, those were the days! I remember parading around campus with my trusty bubble machine (and I think Hinata was with me that day) until of course, the bubbles ran out and I had to go to the 100-yen shop and get some more.

But yea, like I was saying… Sasuke and I, three years ago, we were like ramen and chopsticks, just full of togetherness. Alright, maybe it was more like I adored the teme and he tolerated me. Eh, long story short: I fell in love with Sasuke, he rejected me (coldly I might add), and I told him that I never wanted to see him again.

Memory lane is bittersweet and real life is even worse. People are giving me weird looks on the train. They probably think I'm some troublemaker, some foreigner that doesn't belong in Japan, some punk who got beat up and deserved it.

They're right.

"Itadakimasu!" I sang out as I stared ravenously at the hot bowl of steaming ramen sitting before me. I knew I wouldn't like any of the food in Sasuke's kitchen, so I stopped at a convenience store and picked up some grub.

The television was blaring in the other room, going on and on about global warming, tsunamis and earthquakes, prime ministers, and the economy. I didn't really care what the news was saying; I just wanted to hear something other than my own voice.

I've been at Sasuke's condo for a couple hours now. He doesn't have anything fun… not even video games. Just a bunch of boring books, crossword puzzles, and a computer I can't log onto because I don't know the password. So I took a five hour nap. Shika would be proud.

I was slurping away when I heard the door open. "OKAERI NASAI, SASUKE-TEME!" I hollered out and continued on slurping. I nearly choked when Sasuke walked into the kitchen, jacket unbuttoned and tie nearly undone. He looked so sexy in a suit. It was unfair.

"Hn… I see you've made yourself at home." Sasuke went right to the fridge and poured himself a glass of tomato juice. "I thought you were going to cook dinner."

"… Maybe I would have if all of your food wasn't so horrid." I snorted, placing my chopsticks on the bowl and patting my stomach.

"Dobe, they're called vegetables. You should try them-" Sasuke stopped talking and I turned to him expectantly, only to find him staring straight at my face. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I fought the table and lost." The words dripped off my tongue easily. I almost laughed at the absurdity of it all.

"Naruto, what happened?" Sasuke's eyes darkened and he walked towards me.

"I just told you what happened, teme." I just switched the word "boyfriend" with "table", that's all; actually, he's my ex-boyfriend now. "I'm shocked that you care. It touches me, it really does."

"You're not going to tell me what happened." Sasuke affirmed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"So that's why they call you a genius." I grinned up at him. I could see the steam shooting from his ears.

Sasuke stormed over to the fridge, tore open the top door and tossed an ice pack at my head. Squawking, I seized it out of the air before it marred my face any more than it had already been marred.

"How long do you plan on staying?" The raven-haired male asked me coolly.

"Until I'm not homeless anymore." I shrugged.

"Where's the rest of your stuff?"

"In storage... hey, don't look at me like that, I'm telling the truth! You can ask Sakura-chan if you don't believe me. Wait, don't do that; she can't know I'm here. That's another thing; don't tell anyone where I am."

"… … Get out."

"Eh?"

"Do you realize what you're asking me to do? You're asking me to lie to people and you won't tell me why! What the fuck, Naruto?"

"It's not like anyone is going to ask YOU where I am!"

"You have some explaining to do."

"Or what, you'll kick me out?"

"If most of your shit is in storage, where have you been living up until today?"

"… …"

"Naruto."

"My ex's apartment."

"You can take a bath first. I'll turn the hot water on."

And that was how I ended up crashing at Sasuke's place.

We fell into an easy routine. I cooked breakfast and dinner (grudgingly using those cursed vegetables teme is so fond of), did some job searching, some apartment searching, and some soul searching, too. Sasuke just worked all day. How tedious and boring. I convinced him to buy a PSP so I could play Crisis Core.

I kept my cell phone off. Out of curiosity, I turned it on one day, only to find about fifteen texts and eight missed calls. I haven't checked it since.

I was making yakisoba when Sasuke came in. "Okaeri, Sasuke-teme!" I called out happily.

"Tadaima…" Sasuke muttered as he gracelessly plopped down at the kitchen table. He massaged his head with his hands.

I gave him a look, but Sasuke didn't notice. So I finished frying the food, poured him a glass of tomato juice and sat down next to him. "Rough day at work?" I pushed the glass towards Sasuke.

"Yeah…" Sasuke picked up the glass and took a long gulp. "Thanks, dobe."

My eyes nearly fell out of my head. "Did you just thank me? Did someone drug you?" I leaned closer to Sasuke and checked the temperature of his forehead.

"Get off!" Sasuke snapped out, knocking my hand away.

I rolled my eyes. "What's wrong, teme?"

"Idiots at my job are pissing me off." Sasuke growled out.

"Intelligence is relative. I'm sure they're not as dumb as you think they are."

"They're incompetent, they can't follow orders, and even if they do, they act too slowly!"

"Maa, it's impossible to please you, Sasuke. Your standards are too damn high. I'll bet even if they were competent and followed orders in a timely fashion, you'd still find something wrong with them. That's the problem with you damn Uchihas; you want it your way and if you can't get it, then all Hell breaks loose."

"You should consider switching your major to psychology. Your counseling skills are extraordinary."

"You should consider taking that stick out of your ass. Then maybe your subordinates won't be so scared of you all the time and they'll be able to concentrate on doing their jobs!"

"I should kick you out."

"But you won't, teme, cuz you know I'm right. Anyways, are you hungry? I made yakisoba!"

"Naruto."

"Yeah?"

"Who's your ex?"

"Did you know that every 8 seconds a child dies from contaminated water? No offense, teme, but maybe you should worry about someone who actually needs help."

"Did you know that the prevalence of domestic violence among gay and lesbian couples is approximately 25 - 33%? And maybe those who don't ask for help are the ones that need it the most."

"Che, maybe you're right. But the food's gonna get cold and I'm hungry."

Sasuke studied me with those eyes of his. "Was it the first time he hit you?"

I growled in annoyance. "Yes! He hit me, I left, and now I'm here! Jeez, why do you keep asking-"

"Sai mentioned you today. You're not going to tell anyone where you are?" The raven crossed his arms over his chest.

"Nope. I need to be alone, need some time to think." I narrowed my blue eyes at him.

"… Why'd you come here, Naruto, if you needed to be alone?"

"I'm as good as alone when I'm here. You work all day and I ponder my existence all day. I think we've both been doing well so far. And school starts again in a few weeks and I'll be out of your hair."

"And what are you going to tell everyone?"

"The truth… I took a vacation."

"Why won't you let anyone help you?" Sasuke demanded in a frustrated tone.

I laughed out loud. "I could ask you the same question. You're just as fucked up as I am, Sasuke. At least I'm acknowledging my faults. You act like they're not even there."

"… … You've changed." He appraised slowly, eyes never leaving my face.

"Naw, I'm just really good at pretending. But don't tell; it's a secret."

"So your plan is to go back to school and act like this never happened?"

"Yeah, I guess. I haven't really thought about that. I'm still kind of homeless."

"You still don't trust me enough to-"

"Not anymore than you trust me. And besides, you remember what happened when I let you get too close to me, right? I ended up with a broken heart."

"Is your heart broken now?"

"No, but I think my cheekbone might be."

"Naruto!" Sasuke hissed out.

"Sorry, sorry. Bad joke?" I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly.

"Yes."

Neither of us said anything for a while. But I'm not one for uncomfortable silences. So I did what I do best: I talked.

"… Nee, Sasuke, did you know that ants never sleep?"

"God, you're an idiot."

"Would an idiot know that Alfred Hitchcock had no bellybutton?"

Sasuke stared at me for a moment. Then he slowly smiled, shaking his head.

"I stand corrected. Alright then, Einstein: rabbits can't sweat. True or false?"

"True!"

He chuckled softly and my heart skipped a beat. "Bats always turn right when exiting a cave."

"False!"

"How many neurons does the human brain have?"

"Er… 100 billion?"

"Dobe, how do you know all of this useless information?"

"It's not useless!"

"Really?"

"No, we're using it right now, aren't we? So it's being used!"

It was one of the longest conversations we had ever had. We didn't even eat dinner that night; we just sat at the kitchen table, talking about everything and nothing and dancing around the things that did matter until I pulled a carton of ice cream out of the freezer and started stuffing my face.

Today's Sunday and Sasuke-the-workaholic doesn't have work and as so, we are sharing the couch being mindless zombies and watching TV. I'm munching on popcorn and Sasuke is drinking coffee. I don't know how he can drink that stuff… it tastes awful.

"Sasuke?" I turned to him during a commercial. "Why'd you reject me?" Yes, it was a random question. Yes, I was hoping to shock Sasuke.

Sasuke spit out his coffee. It landed on his leg, the table, and the couch. "What?" He wiped his mouth furiously, refusing to look at me.

"Well, you ask me probing questions all the time. Isn't it time I asked you one?" I grinned cheekily at him, slinging an arm around his shoulders. "C'mon, tell me."

Sasuke shoved me back to my side of the couch. He scowled at the TV for approximately fifteen seconds. And then… "You scared me." The raven uttered.

"Eh?" I scratched the side of my head. "What are you talking about?"

"When you told me how you felt years ago, you scared me." Sasuke admitted, his dark eyes catching mine. They were glittering like black diamonds.

I didn't know what to say. I wasn't expecting that.

"So I did the best I could to hurt you, push you away. And it worked." Sasuke's lips curved upwards. "At least, I thought it did. Here you are again."

"Here I am." I sighed out, slumping against the comfy couch.

"Happy, dobe? I answered your question. Now answer one of mine."

"Don't ask about my ex."

"Tell me something about your childhood. You barely talked about it freshman year."

"No one really asked. I mean, I guess it's kind of awkward to ask the orphan about his family, or in my case a lack thereof."

"… I'm an orphan, too, dipshit. So tell me."

"Alright, jeez teme… well my first foster father was this creep named Orochimaru. He kept a whole bunch of kids in this huge house. He abused us… used the younger ones for medical experiments and worked the older kids like slaves. He's the reason why I've got these whisker scars; it was punishment for some trick I played on him. So anyway, one of the older kids hatched a plan to escape. And he needed me, because everyone knew I was the prankster; I was the one who could think up of something to distract Orochimaru.

"I think the older boy's name was Yamato. Yeah, it was me, Yamato, Sai, and Tayuya. I remember Tayuya… she was our age, but she had a killer left hook and a mouth like a sailor. So yea, I rigged the house… the power went out, the faucets turned on… and the rest is history. The four of us escaped together and hung out for a while, but eventually, we went our separate ways. And then to think, I found Sai again after all those years… at freshman orientation." I smiled nostalgically.

"… Remind me to never fuck with you. I'd hate to come home and find an alligator in my bathtub." Sasuke snorted.

"Now that is a great idea. With your brilliantly sensible mind and my incredible resourcefulness, we could execute the perfect prank." I laughed, picturing the two of us breaking into the nearby zoo, dressed up in all black like ninjas.

"Sure, sure." The raven rolled his dark eyes. "We'll kidnap the president of the university."

"Hell yea! Hey, don't look at me like that! You're pretty damn smart, Uchiha, you need to embrace it more and put your brains to good use. I think kidnapping is a fantastic idea. I know I could use the money."

"Shut up. We're missing the finale."

We didn't talk again until the show was over. But I felt strangely warm inside. It was weird, to think that years ago, I had scared Sasuke. Because the truth was… he scared me. The teme was still scaring me, now more than ever. He said he pushed me away. But he didn't reject me because he didn't feel the same way? Is that what I'm supposed to get from all that? Or am I hopelessly reaching for the stars?

Maybe Sasuke didn't have to say it, maybe it was implied that he doesn't feel anything towards me. It would certainly make sense… to a certain degree. But I'll never know. And I'm too scared to ask directly. I couldn't handle another rejection from him. I was psychologically fragile enough as it was. I'm also newly single… for about a week now? Has it already been a week?

Itadakimasu - Thank you for the meal.

Okaeri nasai - Welcome home.

Tadaima - I'm home.

So yea that's Chapter 1. If you found any mistakes, let me know!

Do I continue? Delete? Feedback is always welcome. Please review! :)