Is It Coming Yet?

by dantesdarkqueen

What does a girl have to do to have a baby around here? MysticSpiritus' AU, ZackxOC. Ties in with "Grief, Hate, and Madness", "Sephiroth's Honor," and "Honorable Mentions."

Summary: What does a girl have to do to have a baby around here? MysticSpiritus' AU, ZackxOC. Ties in with "Grief, Hate, and Madness", "Sephiroth's Honor," and "Honorable Mentions."

Disclaimer: Just the usual. I have no ownership of Squeenix characters, despite that fairy I paid to get 'em for me.

Queen's Quornor: It's been more than a year since Zack knocked up Akalara. There apparently won't be a sequel to "Sephiroth's Honor," dammit, but I think the poor woman has just about had enough of this pregnancy, don't you? Now, how many ways are there supposed to be to induce labor again...?

Is It Coming Yet?

"One week overdue! Isn't this baby ever going to vacate the premises and let us see it?" Akalara threw her head back against the couch, arms spread across the top. "I know pregnancy is not supposed to be fun, it's all about waiting, but this is ridiculous!"

Zack settled next to her, violet eyes immediately going to her middle. At nine months and one week, it amazed him exactly how big her stomach had become. Akalara was fairly petite in stature, so the rest of her almost looked skeletal and frail in comparison. "I guess it just doesn't want to leave yet," he said with a shrug. "From what Zexion said, it sounds pretty comfortable in there. Add a TV and it's likely we'll never see our kid."

Akalara glared at him through her long emerald bangs. "You are not helping. I'm about ready to explode and you're joking about stuffing more in here." She rolled her head back again, staring at the ceiling. "And don't make any cracks about stuffing me on a regular basis or I'll hit you."

"I wasn't going to." Zack turned onto his hip and propped his head up on his hand, still looking at his wife's extremely rounded middle. "Didn't you ask Zexion if he could induce labor or something?"

"He said it would be too risky, given that the uterine wall was damaged in the fourth month. Said we just had to wait it out for now." The green-haired Turk huffed, closing her eyes tiredly. "But if it goes to three weeks overdue, he'll give me a caesarean."

"Lemme guess. You'll go nuts if you have to go another week, let alone two." The SOLDIER smiled fondly at her. "Do I get a prize?"

"Talk to me after this baby is out, horndog." She sighed again and looked down at her bulging belly, then laid her hands atop it, just beneath her ribcage. "Do you think it'll pop out if I push it?"

"I think that's a pretty bad idea, Ak." Zack reached out and stroked his hand over her stomach and fingers. "Still, maybe we can encourage it to come out and give you a break. Aren't there some things you can do to jumpstart labor? I've heard sex works."

"Spicy food. And walking, and playing with my nipples, and castor oil. I think I've heard something about herbal teas, too." The Turk laced her fingers through her husband's, drumming them against his knuckles lightly. "Think we should try them?"

"Want to ask Zexion first? Just to make sure that the baby's even ready to come out and all.... And you're giving me that look again." He sighed and smiled. "I missed something at your appointment, didn't I?"

"He said the baby's fully developed and ready to be born, as far as tests and ultrasound can tell. It's just taking its sweet time getting around to it." She heaved herself off the couch, tottering for a second before catching her balance. "I am not taking castor oil, so that's out. Walking's a bust; I was pacing all over the place in the examination room. But I'm willing to try the others." She turned her attention to her husband, pouting with wide, shiny eyes. "Zack, can you go get me some Burrito Gong? Please?"

He sighed, then got up and grabbed the keys off the table. "You know I hate it when you do that to me, Ak..."

"But you also never deny me when I do." She offered him a tired version of her usual teasing grin, then headed for the kitchen. "Besides, if the spicy food and herbal tea don't work, there's still nipples and sex."

The SOLDIER grinned, then hurried out the door.

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"Well, it's been six hours since I ate that Deluxe Solien Pizza and nachos. If anything was going to happen, it should have happened already." Akalara ran her fingers through her forest-colored hair, rocking slightly as Zack rubbed her back. "At least we know the castor oil wouldn't have worked, either. It's supposed to have the same effect as spicy food."

"That tea didn't work either, obviously. How about we try sex next? That's supposed to be a sure-fire method."

She looked at him with a knowing smirk. "One-track mind, Zack."

He chuckled and ran his hand up through the back of her hair. "You have one, too. That's what got us into this situation in the first place, remember?"

"Bad boys do have that effect on innocent little nuns." The smirk grew, then she leaned back against the couch again. "And for every action there is a reaction. This particular reaction, however, has taken more than its fair share of time and I want it to be over with now."

"Then how about sex? If nothing else, it would make you feel better. Put a shine on your mood." Zack leaned into her, lowering his voice an octave. Akalara had long since learned what that deep tone meant. She shivered lightly, and her knowing spouse grinned. "You don't have to do a thing. Just lay back, and let me do all the work."

"Does that mean I can't give you head?" she asked, looking at him with hooded eyes.

"Oh, you can still do that. You'll just be on your back while doing it." He held up one hand as he slid off the couch, forestalling her next comment. "And yes, I'll be careful. No rough stuff until after the baby's born and you're healed up."

She grinned and flicked some of her dark emerald hair behind her shoulders. "I wasn't going to lecture you, Zack. Just going to remind you to concentrate on my nipples for awhile, in case that gets this baby moving."

His violet eyes glittered and he turned his attention to the buttons of her loose sundress. "With pleasure, Ak."

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Akalara heaved a sigh and glanced over at the clock on the bedside table. Nearly three in the morning, and she was still pregnant, with no end in sight. Zack had given it his best shot, and she had enjoyed every second of it, but in the end neither sex nor foreplay could coax their stubborn offspring into moving. At the moment, her husband was conked out on the other side of the bed, exhausted by his efforts and the strain of holding back when all he wanted was to fuck her senseless. She wanted that too, but neither of them were willing to hurt their baby.

But while Zack was lost to Dreamland, Akalara was too restless to sleep. She didn't quite know why, but all she really wanted to do was move around, pace the floor, and stretch. A few good rolls in the sack with her husband was usually enough to put her down for the night, but not this time.

Deciding it was useless to remain in bed while neither sleeping nor fucking, Akalara rolled out of bed and grabbed her robe, belting it as best she could while going to the couch and the television. This robe hadn't fit her since the beginning of her second trimester, thanks to the stubborn unborn that had destroyed her figure. Out of earshot of her snoozing husband, the green-haired Turk glared down at her stomach.

"You'd better hope I get my figure back, kid." She flopped onto the couch and grabbed the remote, vaguely remembering that Mythsmashers reruns were supposed to be on at this time of night. "Otherwise I'm snapping a ton of nude baby pictures of you and embarrassing the hell out of you when you hit puberty."

The baby responded with a strong kick, and she rolled her eyes. "Kick all you want, kid. You have to come out of there sooner or later. I am not going to carry you for the next eighteen years and then give birth to a fully-grown, clothed adult. You are going to have to come out naked, wet, messy, and red just like the rest of us."

Akalara paid no heed to the replying kick, and instead turned her attention to the television, where the Mythsmashers were attempting to test the Exploding Pants myth. One thing she liked about this show, apart from the explosions and bad puns and humorous banter, was the creativity she gained from each episode. Assassinations were part of the Turk job description, and she had come up with some truly absurd ways to kill since discovering the Mythsmashers, scenerios where the cause of death could be labelled simply as 'freak accident'. Thus far, the ones that had been put into effect had been deemed exactly that, and Tseng often got a good laugh out of her mission reports now.

Time passed slowly as she sat, absorbed in the reruns. The baby stopped kicking after awhile, leaving its long-suffering mother in relative peace. Distracted by the antics depicted on the screen, she was soon unaware of anything that transpired around her. Zack had often noted that when his green-haired wife was mired in a 'boob-tube coma', as he referred to it, nothing short of him jerking the sofa right out from under her could make her pay attention to the real world.

Except the gentle pressure squeezing her stomach every now and then.

And the sudden gush of water soaking into the cushions beneath her.

And the sudden PAIN that came out of NOWHERE.

"You have a really twisted sense of humor, you know that, kid?" Akalara gritted, digging her fingers into the cushion on either side of her as she waited for the contraction to ease. "Spicy food, tea, and gratuitous sex and foreplay does nothing to get you moving. But a few good explosions on the TV and you suddenly decide to come see what all the noise is about." She snorted as the pain started to fade. "You must take after me, then. Your father is a hell of a lot more considerate than I am."

The contraction ended, and the green-haired Turk forced herself to her feet. She had to have been in labor for some time now, and only just gone into the active stage. She'd attributed the earlier pressure to false labor, as she had been suffering that at random ever since the last week of her eighth month, but the soaked cushion was undeniable proof that the baby was finally coming. Besides, the contractions were in the right place this time, and certainly more intense than ever before. It figured. Four-twenty in the morning, and they had to get to the hospital. Akalara had the feeling that this baby would enjoy depriving its parents of sleep as much as it had making its mother miserable.

Approaching the bed, she grabbed a pillow and slammed it down on her sleeping husband's head. When he made a protesting sound and rolled over, she whacked him again, harder. A third whack, and she crouched on the floor beside the bed, feeling pressure starting to build again. "What izzit, Ak?" Zack mumbled, forcing one eye open to look at her.

"Our baby has decided that it likes explosions more than interrupting its parents during sex," she replied, glancing at the clock. How long had it been since the last contraction? It seemed as if this was moving faster than Zexion had told them it should for a first-timer like herself.

Zack levered himself up, violet eyes widening. "You mean it's coming?"

"No, I'm kneeling here on the floor and beat you awake with a pillow for no reason other than I felt like it." She shut her eyes and clenched her jaw, trying not to fight the pain. Pain was good. Pain meant things were happening. This was good pain. Fuck that shit. It's pain, she thought, throwing the mantra out the mental window. "Can you...get my bag?"

"Sure, babe!" If she had been paying attention, she would have been laughing; Zack was having the worst time trying to get his pants, boots, and shirt on right now. "Are you okay?"

"Ask me that when I'm not getting ready to push something the size of a watermelon out of an orifice the size of a lemon," she growled.

"Point taken. I'll call Zexion, then come back for you." He finally managed to finish dressing and snatched Akalara's totebag from the floor beside the dresser.

"I'm not an invalid, Zack. I can still walk." The contraction finally passed, and she got to her feet, grabbing for her discarded sundress.

"Are you sure? You're going to be having our baby soon, and I don't know if - "

"I'M FINE!"

Eyes wide, the father-to-be and mako-enhanced military officer backed away from his petite, very pregnant, fuming wife. "I'll...be waiting in the living room," he stated softly, before fleeing into the hallway.

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"Can we see them yet?"

"I dunno. Zexy hasn't come out yet, and Zack won't leave her. We're too far away to hear if she screams."

"Say Kuja, don't you have some kinda spell that could - "

"The answer is no, Reno. I believe Akalara would appreciate a little privacy right now."

Reno pouted and turned his attention back to the TV mounted on the wall in the waiting room, where a talking sea sponge was running around with a net. Six in the morning, and they were all sitting in uncomfortable plastic chairs while the first of the three pregnant Guardians gave birth. He was tired, but definitely wanted to be here. He'd have gil to collect, if the kid had its father's spiky black hair.

At least he wasn't the only one who had decided to come. Kuja, Kandi, Vergil, Gwen, and Sephiroth were laying or sitting in the chairs as well, either watching the hyper sea sponge or reading one of the magazines left out by hospital staff. Rhianna and Darryl had called and said they would come to Division Seven later, at a less ungodly hour. Reno had smothered a laugh when the couple's daughter, also heavily pregnant, had come in about fifteen minutes ago. She looked about as fresh as a daisy, wide-awake and bright-eyed; Sephiroth had been swaying on his feet, heavy-lidded and exhausted. Gwen had practically dragged her silver-haired husband into the waiting room. The poor guy had leaned his head back against the wall and fallen asleep almost the second he'd sat down. Reno had promptly made a mental note to not use all of his energy to keep his woman happy and comfortable, if he ever knocked a woman up.

Kandi had stretched out across three of the chairs and laid her head in Kuja's lap, watching the television for a lack of anything better to do. Kuja was simply ignoring the annoying sponge, instead passing the time by stroking his wife's red-streaked mane and occasionally laying a hand atop her own enormous stomach. There was at least a week or two left before it was Kandi's turn to give birth, unless he had it backwards and Gwen was next in line for the so-called blessed event. Reno had lost track of which one had gotten pregnant first; all he knew for certain was that Akalara was a month ahead of them both.

"How long is this supposed to take?" he wondered aloud.

He hadn't expected anybody to answer him, but Vergil apparently didn't consider it a rhetorical question. "This is Akalara's first baby, and childbirth is a lengthy process. We could be here for several hours before it's over." Seeing the look on Kandi's face, he quickly added "But it's different for every woman. The width of her hips, how fast her cervix dilates, and how much encouragement Zexion gives her can speed labor up, not to mention her level of personal comfort and anxiety. This could be over much faster than anybody thinks."

"You're leaving something out," Gwen said flatly. "It's not uncommon for the first labor to last for hours, up to thirty-six or even longer."

"But it can take as little as thirty minutes, or less," Vergil retorted. "I was born only five minutes before Dante."

"And how long did it take for you to pop out?"

He looked away and cleared his throat. "Ten hours," he muttered.

Kandi groaned. "You mean we could be stuck here all day?"

Kuja smoothed his hand across her belly again. "Do not assume the worst, little canary. As much as you do not want to stay here all day, Akalara wants her pregnancy to end more. I believe she will have little patience for countless hours of labor."

The red-streaked Turk opened her mouth to say something, but abruptly shut it as a tall man with chocolate brown hair and deep green eyes skidded to a stop inside the doorway. Reno took him in with guarded eyes, feeling as if he should know the newcomer but unable to place him. The guy was attractive but not to the heart-stopping degree of Sephiroth, Zack, Vergil, Kuja and himself, with a slight build and lightly tanned skin. The sort of guy who spent most of his time indoors, probably behind a desk. The business suit he wore seconded that impression; it was an expensive-looking suit, which meant whatever desk he spent his days behind was tied to a very good job. The man looked around with some confusion, particularly when his gaze fell upon the sleeping form of Sephiroth.

"May we help you?" Gwen asked politely, breaking his little trance.

"Oh, um, yeah!" He hesitated. "Is this the waiting room for L&D?"

"It is. We've got a friend in there right now."

"Me too."

Kuja smirked. "You can have a seat, you know."

Reno hid a smile; the guy was actually blushing! "Um, thanks." He lowered himself into a chair near Vergil, keeping two empty seats between himself and the half-demon. "I'm sorry. I'm not normally like this."

"Are you that scared for your friend?" Kandi asked, reaching into her jacket for a granola bar.

"Well, she's not exactly my friend."

The red-streaked Turk nodded sagely. "First-time father, huh? Did your wife go into labor while you were on your way to work?"

The man jumped, then shook his head quickly. "Oh no, she's not my wife. She's my little sister. Her husband called and told me that she'd gone into labor, and wanted somebody from her own family to be here." He let out a laugh, short and bitter. "Our parents were out of the question. Mom doesn't have the guts to defy her husband, and he's definitely not welcome around her. He put my sister through Hell when she was little, and I'll kill him myself before I let him get anywhere near her again."

Vergil sat up and looked at the newcomer. "What sort of hell?"

"Religious hell. He thought she was some kind of Satan-spawn because of her eyes and hair, and did all kinds of things to her to try and drive the demon out of her. He almost killed her, more times than I care to remember." He sighed and laced his fingers. "If that bastard had just done his research, he would have realized there was nothing demonic about her. Mom's great-grandmother had green hair, and her father's sister had red eyes. That man's grandfather had red eyes too, so my sister inherited it through genetics on both sides, not anything supernatural. She's a throwback to our ancestors, not the daughter of an incubus or anything like that."

Something clicked in Reno's head then. "Wait a sec. Your sister has green hair and red eyes?" The man nodded. "Is her name Akalara?"

He started. "How'd you know that?"

"We're all friends and coworkers of hers." Reno thought for a second, wondering if he'd seen him somewhere else. "I'd thought I recognized you. You have her skin-tone and nose. Lips, too."

"We got those from Mom. I look more like Mom's husband, though." He frowned. "I wanted to get surgery to change my features and start dyeing my hair, but Jareth begged me not to. I hated looking into the mirror each morning and seeing that asshole staring back at me."

"Jareth?" Kandi asked.

"My partner. He's parking the car, so you'll meet him soon enough." He shook his head and smiled ruefully. "I'm sorry. I never introduced myself. My name's Tuomas Forrest."

Reno exchanged a glance with Kandi, and leaned forward to capture the other man's eyes in his. "You mean Tuomas Forrest of Forrest and Hart, the best attornies-at-law in Midgar? The same Forrest and Hart that handles all of Shinra's legal disputes?"

"That's exactly what I mean. My duties as Shinra's lawyer, in fact, are the reason I was unable to come to my sister's wedding in Gongaga. And it may just be a stab in the dark, but I'd be inclined to say that you're Reno of the Turks, one of my sister's superiors."

He nodded. "One and the same."

Kuja smirked again. "It seems that you and your sister have all of Shinra's bases covered when it comes to pest removal, Mr. Forrest."

Tuomas shrugged, but there was a satisfied gleam in his eye. "We do, particularly since Electra is a member of SOLDIER. I handle the legal matters, Electra works with the military, and Akalara covers what neither of us can deal with. We try to cover each others' backs, since Shinra taught us that there was something better than that man's way."

"You mean your father?" Gwen asked.

His face darkened. "I have no father. That man may have sired my sisters and I, but he is no father of ours." He brightened as the sound of running feet reached them, and another man appeared in the doorway.

This man was bulkier than Tuomas, but none of it was fat as far as Reno could tell. His long, pale-blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail that fell to the middle of his back, and he was pretty rather than handsome. This guy's face belonged on a woman's body, not a man's. His enormous grey eyes immediately found Tuomas, and a moment later he was in the chair between him and the wall, taking his hands in his own.

"How is she, Tom?"

Tuomas smiled, and Reno had to follow suit; Akalara must not have been the only one to suffer at the hands of their father for being different. "I'm not sure, Jareth. But you know what they say: 'no news is good news'." He turned back to the seated Guardians and Watcher, twining the fingers of his right hand with the other's left. "This is Jareth Hart, my partner in life and business. Jareth, these are my sister's friends."

They quickly introduced themselves, with Gwen doing the honors for her sleeping husband, and were rewarded by a dazzling grin. "It's a pleasure to meet you all," Jareth said warmly. "We rarely get to see Akky, and I haven't even met her husband yet. What a treat to meet the closest friends of my partner's youngest sister!"

Reno had to cringe. 'Akky'? Why not just 'Ak', like everyone else called her?

"It's our pleasure to meet our friend's older brother and his partner," Vergil replied coolly. "She was very upset when neither of you could come to the wedding."

"Duty calls, in my case. But Jareth had a different reason for not going, one that my sister understood when I explained it to her." Tuomas nudged his partner with a gentle smile. "Tell them. They're Akalara's friends, and that makes them as good as family."

Jareth blushed, and squeezed Tuomas' hand tightly. "I had an appointment at the fertility clinic with Elly that day. It was the only day they could fit us in, and we'd made the appointment before Akky sent us the invitation. Tom and I have wanted a baby ever since we exchanged vows, and that was our only chance this year. Elly had agreed to carry it for us since Akky was already pregnant, but I know she would have said yes if we asked her and she wasn't."

"Who's Elly?" Kandi asked, cramming a third granola bar into her mouth.

"Electra." Tuomas stroked his thumb over Jareth's knuckles, smiling affectionately at him. "Jareth gives nicknames to everybody when he's not in a courtroom. But yes, Electra agreed to be our baby's surrogate. Akalara would have been our first choice, but..." He shrugged, eyes flicking to the closed double doors that separated them from the delivery rooms. "Well, she was happy enough when she heard that we are to be parents too. Electra's has the flu, or she'd be here too."

"I'm still grateful to General Sephy that he agreed to let Elly take all that time off for maternity leave. He has so few Firsts in comparison to the other levels of SOLDIER, I wasn't sure he'd let her go." Jareth smiled again. "But at least Akky's baby will have a playmate in a few months. Maybe something more when they get a little older."

Reno caught the sudden scowl that flashed across Kandi's face then. He'd heard her gushing to Kuja a few times about how cute it would be if their son ever dated or even married any daughter Akalara and Zack would have, but he hadn't thought she might actually be serious about the matter.

"I believe that would fall under the realm of incest, since the children would be cousins," Vergil commented. "We don't even know what the sex of this baby is, let alone yours. It's a little early to be planning their futures now, I would think."

"I keep reminding him that a relationship between the kids is impossible, but he's fixed on match-making," Tuomas said with an eyeroll.

"It's not so uncommon where I grew up, Tom. My own parents were cousins," Jareth stated happily, leaning his head on the other man's shoulder. Reno stared at him; where had he grown up? Most of Division Seven rejected such things as incest, demanding that people find their spouses and lovers outside their immediate and extended family. His question must have shown on his face, because Jareth added "It was a small community on an island near Mideel, a splinter Catholic group. I was taught that since Adam and Eve were the original humans, and their children wed each other and their children wed amongst themselves, it really made no difference how closely related you were to the person you liked since everybody is related anyway."

Gwen was staring at him, and Reno could see the storm in her eyes. "Well, we'll see how things work out when they actually reach the dating age. For now, they'll just be playmates."

"Agreed." Tuomas laid a finger on Jareth's lips, silencing him. "I wonder how long this is going to take. I called into work so we're not expected, but..."

"These chairs are a little uncomfotable," his partner finished.

"Well, we can't send anybody back to check on Ak and Kuja refuses to spy on her. I guess that means we have to wait," Kandi grumbled, shifting on her makeshift bed.

"Can we at least change the channel? I can feel my IQ level dropping by the second." Tuomas waved at the television, where the sea sponge and a starfish had been laughing for the past five minutes.

"No prob. What channel?" Gwen asked, slowly forcing herself up.

"Oh! Can we watch Bad Fashion Gone Good? I love that show!" Jareth gushed.

Reno shook his head slowly. It seemed that attraction to handsome, hyperactive men ran in the family.

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Reno glanced at his watch and groaned. Eleven-ten, and still no news from behind the doors. They'd all been sitting in the waiting room for at least five hours, if not more, watching fashion-oriented shows at Jareth's request. If he had to hear one more squeal about complexion and palette, he was going to blow the guy's nuts off and glue them to his chest.

Sephiroth had finally woken up about two hours ago, and at Gwen's prodding had stalked out to a fast food joint to silence the many growling stomachs that had disturbed his sleep. Their hunger satisfied, all of them were less inclined to be irritated at their willing captivity in this waiting room. It was hard to be annoyed on a full stomach. In better moods, they awaited news.

"Whose idea was it that we all come to the hospital as moral support when you three went into labor?" Reno couldn't stop the question.

Kandi reached back to smack him on the thigh. "Yours, dumbass."

"Oh yeah..." He shut up, refusing to remind the red-streaked woman that she had actually made them all promise to do it. Turks could carry their weapons anywhere, including hospitals. He leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling. "How much longer is this going to take?"

"I'd be inclined to say our vigil is over," Sephiroth murmured, nodding to something behind Reno's shoulder. Everybody looked up or around to see the doors wide open, and Zexion walking towards them.

"How is she?" Tuomas quickly asked once the purple-haired OB stopped in the waiting room doorway.

"She's fine, and the baby is in fine health. She and Zack said you can all come back and see her, to which my only stipulation is that you keep calm. Akalara is tired, and the baby is just as drained." He smiled quickly. "It's an exhausting thing, being born."

"What room?" Kandi demanded, swinging her feet off the chairs and heaving herself up. Kuja steadied her as soon as he rose. Zexion named a room, and opened the doors for them. He promised to check on the baby soon, but none of them paid him any heed. With Tuomas and the two pregnant Guardians at the lead, the group of dangerous men and women trooped down the hall until they found a room bearing the same number Zexion had given them.

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Akalara and Zack looked up as the door swung open, revealing the faces of their closest friends and family. "Hey guys," the new father called softly, beckoning them in. "Sorry you had to wait so long, but I couldn't come out and tell you how far along she was."

"I wouldn't let him." Akalara leaned back against her husband's body, relaxing into the feel of his arm around her waist, his free hand on her shoulder. "I needed my leaning post."

"And verbal target," Zack said with a grin. "I think you called me just about every name in the book, Ak."

"I think I was justified. The epidural was a bust, so I needed something to distract me."

"What do you mean the epidural didn't take?" Gwen asked, approaching the bed with Kandi and Vergil. "Did they get it in the wrong place or was it too late for it to work?"

Akalara shook her head. "My past decided to rear its ugly head, that's what happened." She smiled at her older brother, who was hesitating near the closed door with the other men. "Hey Tuomas. Do you remember when I was thinking about getting that tattoo when I turned eighteen?"

"Yes, but you told me you decided not to get it."

"I changed my mind, and got it anyway." Her smile grew a little more intimate as Zack brought her closer against him then. "Zack's seen it, and Reno has too."

"I have?" The red-haired Turk looked surprised at having been singled out.

"You have. The crescent moon and vines?" He shrugged, and she rolled her eyes. He must have really gotten drunk on her body that night in Junon. "Anyway, it turns out you can't have an epidural if you have a tramp-stamp. I didn't know there was a problem with it, and Zexion never asked about tattoos. So, no epidural for me."

"She was very vocal after that," Zack said, leaning the side of his head against hers. "I'm a little surprised none of you heard her, actually. It was less screaming and more deep moaning, but the cussing was pretty loud."

"Would you have preferred to be the one in my position?" the green-haired woman asked sweetly. "I'm sure there's a way to arrange it."

"No, I'll leave the child-bearing to you, Ak. Besides, I had my fair share of pain. You nearly squeezed my hands to powder." The violet-eyed SOLDIER nestled his chin more comfortably on her shoulder, gazing down at the bundle of soft blankets cradled securely in her arms. "Besides, she's worth all the pain, isn't she?"

Akalara's crimson eyes grew tender, and she nodded with a smile unlike any the others had ever seen on her face. "She is."

Kandi braced her hands on the bedrail, leaning over to get a better look at the tiny face in the blankets. "So it's a girl?"

"Yes. Her name's Zafirah." Akalara chuckled and looked up at Reno. "Say Red, didn't you have a bet about her hair color going on?"

"I sure did." The redhead sauntered over, a pleased smirk on his face. He held one hand out to the two pregnant Guardians expectantly. "Pay up, ladies. You too, Seph."

"Not so fast. What color and texture did you think her hair would be?" Zack asked.

"I figured it'd be black and spiky like yours, man. There's a better chance for your hair than Ak's."

"Reno, you should know by looking at me that genetics aren't the more reliable of things. Neither of my parents had green hair or red eyes."

"I know. Your big bro told us where you got the hair and eyes from." He jerked one thumb at Tuomas in emphasis, nearly hitting the poor man in the nose; he had approached the bed while Reno was demanding his gil. "But you're a special case. I've seen your big sister, and she's got black hair, too. One of your parents had black hair and the other brown. There's black hair under that cap, guaranteed."

Kandi smirked, seeing the mischievious gleam in her friends' eyes. "Would you be willing to up that bet, ReRe-chan?"

"Don't call me ReRe-chan. And yes, I am. Let's up it to fifty."

"It's not a true bet if you don't have a minimum of a hundred," Sephiroth chimed in.

"I'll take that." Reno gestured imperiously at the pink-and-white knitted cap covering the baby's head. "Show us the hair, Ak."

Akalara grinned evilly, then removed the cap. Reno's jaw dropped at the sight of wild, feathery dark green hair. "I think you owe a lot of money, Red."

"Okay, fine, whatever," Reno grumbled, handing out money into three outstretched hands. He stopped, then slowly turned to face Kandi's husband, who was attempting to hide behind Tuomas and Jareth. "Hey, Kuja. You bet the kid'd have black hair, too."

Kuja shot him a mean glare, then begrudgingly pulled out his wallet and began counting out gil.

Jareth nudged Kandi aside, peering at the sleeping newborn in his sister-in-law's arms. "She's adorable, Akky!" he squealed quietly. "She looks like both of you. What color are her eyes, or do you know?"

"They're blue now, but Zexion says they'll probably turn purple like Zack's, given their shade. Apparently they look a little indigo around the edges," she replied, easing the cap back on with Zack's help.

"She's perfect," Vergil murmured, looking at his only friend's daughter from the other side of the bed. Zack didn't seem to mind the half-demon's closeness, which pleased Akalara. She had fought hard to get Vergil named one of their baby's uncles and second godfather. It had taken months, but at last a trust of sorts had grown between her unlikely friend and her husband. "I can already tell that she won't have a peaceful adolescence. The boys won't want to leave her alone."

"I know the way to fix that. I'll be greeting all potential boyfriends seated on the couch, polishing my sword." Akalara could feel her husband's evil smile against her cheek.

"You do that and we'll never get any grandkids," she teased.

"That's the point." He inclined his head towards Gwen and Sephiroth. "They don't have a choice in the matter, but I think little Zafirah will be spending her life in a convent somewhere as a chaste little nun."

"And where did being a nun get me, Zack?" Akalara asked, seeing Reno, Kandi, and Gwen hiding their smiles behind their hands. Sephiroth had a smile teasing around his lips, as did Kuja and Vergil. Jareth and Tuomas just looked confused.

"You were never a nun, Akalara," her brother said, frowning.

"If I hadn't been, you wouldn't be looking at your niece right now," she replied sweetly. To the look on his face, she said "It was for a good cause, Tuomas. I didn't put the habit on with that particular intent in mind, I assure you. It just sort of...happened."

"Because a certain horndog couldn't keep his hands to himself," Reno muttered.

"As I said before," Akalara began, shifting the baby in her arms, "she's worth it."

Kuja smiled and came up beside Kandi, taking her hand in his with a slow stroke across her palm. They, as well as Gwen and Sephiroth, would be in her and Zack's position soon enough. "Perhaps you should utilize the same strategy when next you wish for a child, then? The habit seems to have been more good luck than a disguise for you."

"Is this really a good time to discuss another baby?" Jareth asked from under Tuomas' arm. "I'm sure Akky is really tired and sore from little 'Firah right now."

"No, it's all right." Akalara nuzzled Zack's head lovingly, feeling his arm tighten about her in response. "We've decided we want more than one. It's just going to be a few years before we try again, without the nun's habit."

"By the way, did you ever return that habit to Father Vapone?" Sephiroth asked, looking up from Zafirah.

She smiled, a quick flash of pearly teeth. "Of course not. I left him the other Dominican habit I had purchased in case something happened to the other one. The original is hanging in our closet at home, exactly as it was when I took it off that day."