Guilt
Chapter 1
"I'm going out with the general. Bye, I'll see you later!" Bolin yelled as he exited the Airbender house he and his brother were still staying at. Iroh smiled as the Earthbender approached him. After Amon had been defeated, Iroh had chosen to stay if for nothing else, then to help the citizens of Republic City rebuild their homes. He was often paired up with Bolin, as their combined bending abilities were a good fit for most houses. Bolin re-shaped the walls while Iroh worked on metal pipes and electricity.
Bolin was a good companion, as he was always ready to listen and didn't shy away from giving out a good laugh when it was needed. Iroh had come to enjoy his company very much. A little too much, he had lately come to realize. There were these times when Bolin suddenly leaned against him, usually under the pretense of not wanting to step on a small animal or being pushed by a stranger Iroh could've sworn had been nowhere near Bolin. The weight of Bolin's body against his made his body react. The boy was barely of age but already had the body of a beautiful muscular man. Iroh shook his head to rid himself of lewd thoughts. What kind of a soldier would daydream about a man, nay, boy so much younger than him?
Bolin reached him and they left Air Temple Island together, Republic City as their destination.
They started working on the house they were assigned to in the morning. They were fed by the people they were building the house for. Usually they had others to help them, but this time it was just them. At the end of the day, sky suddenly went dark and Iroh thought it was an enemy ship blocking the Sun. He prepared himself to blast a fireball at the enemy, when Bolin sighed and said: "I guess it's time to go home now." Iroh hesitated, and realized that the Sun had simply gone down. He waved his hand to make the fireball vanish and followed Bolin to their ride.
"Actually, if you're not too tired, I'd like to take a walk around the city. Just for a bit." Bolin seemed to be trying to look nonchalant, failing miserably at it. Iroh wasn't sure what the Earthbender was up to, but agreed nonetheless.
They walked slowly, as they were exhausted from the work. They didn't talk, just lazily stared at what was left of Republic City. Suddenly Iroh realized that Bolin had directed him to an alley, away from the crowds. There was nobody in sight. "Bolin. What is this?"
"I thought this would be a good place to...tell you."
"Tell me what?"
Bolin looked at him for a while. He then raised his arms a bit and closed the gap between them. He placed his hands gently on Iroh's shoulders. His eyes were now half-closed, as if he was in a daze.
Every cell in his body was telling Iroh to jump the boy. But he couldn't. He was an honorable man, at least he liked to think so. Honorable men didn't...they just didn't.
Bolin moved his lips closer to Iroh's face. Iroh's body was screaming for him to give in.
"No." The word came as a surprise to both Iroh and Bolin. It took a moment for Iroh to realize that it had been him who had uttered the word. It took him less time to act on his word. He pushed Bolin away. He repeated the word more loudly.
"Why? You want me. I know you do. I may have kid myself before, with Korra, but you, you do." Bolin let his arms fall to his sides.
Iroh couldn't bear to face him. "Yes. I do want you. And I do like you. But it is not love. Nor is it proper."
"'Like' is good. 'Like' I can work with. But what do you mean, proper?"
"You are so young. Too young. At least for me."
"I'm not a kid-"
"You're a kid in every way but one." Iroh hadn't meant to sound as harsh as he had, but Bolin still looked hurt. "I am not a good person. At least not for you." He realized he was sounding repetitive, so he decided to stop talking.
Bolin wrapped his arms around him and delicately brushed Iroh's hair back. With the same hand, he caressed Iroh's face. "You are a good man."
"A good man wouldn't want to kiss you."
"Then maybe you aren't a good man", Bolin said, clearly changing his tactics and leaned in, about to kiss him.
Iroh detached himself from him and walked two steps away from Bolin. "There's a difference between not being a good man and being a worse man. I will not take advantage of your youth. In a few years, you'll be glad I didn't." He nodded to Bolin in goodbye, and turned to leave. He didn't get very far before Bolin used his Earthbending to trap his feet. Bolin turned him around and walked up to him. He then released Iroh, who tried to turn to leave again. Before he could, though, Bolin grabbed his face and planted a chaste kiss on his lips.
Iroh staggered backwards. He then looked at Bolin, who was clearly waiting for him to react. It was as if the kiss had flipped a switch. He grabbed the Earthbender and shoved him against the wall, hungrily kissing him at the same time. He was in such a daze that he forgot his senses, and sank his teeth in that little spot behind Bolin's left ear. This made Bolin cry out in pain, but he didn't care. He proceeded to place his hand under Bolin's shirt so that he could -
"No", Bolin said. The word stopped Iroh at his tracks. He took a step back and let go of Bolin. "What?"
"You said you don't love me. I won't go that far if you don't."
Iroh was surprised by the resolve Bolin displayed when speaking. "That is fair." He tried to make his mind clear again. "It's best if we don't see each other anymore."
Bolin seemed gutted. "Just because I won't sleep with you?"
"No, because I want to. You saw me out there. I'm an 'in for a penny, in for a pound' type of guy. And that's not what you want nor deserve." Iroh realized there was blood on Bolin's neck.
"You're bleeding."
Bolin seemed scared for a moment, then he put his hand behind his ear. "It's from...where you bit me."
"Oh." Iroh looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry."
Bolin shook his head. "It doesn't hurt too much."
Iroh hesitated, but then leaned in to place a kiss on Bolin's cheek. "I'm sorry for everything else, too."
Bolin left to go home. Iroh followed him from a distance to make sure nothing happened to him on his way to the harbor.