Lena Foellmer

Something: Alice Pensive made his world light up. That's why in the end he never could forgive her for loving him, for coming back for him.

There was just something about Alice Pensive. Something in the way she always seemed to be tripping over thin air. Something in the way that she flippantly popped her Droobles blowing gum in class. Something in the way she tenderly cared for the hellish plants in herbology. Something in the way she always wore bright colors to Hogsmead, either yellow or lime green. Something in the way that she looked at him with as though the world was burning down around them and she couldn't care less.

Really though, Frank just thought that it was something in the way she moved that attracted him like no other girl, something in the way she moved him. There was just something about Alice Pensive. It had been in their fifth year that he realized he was in love with her.

There was soft snow falling in Hogsmead. Small third years laughed as they chased each other through the white. Frank sniffed as the cold wind blew across his face. He hadn't worn a scarf and he was deeply regretting it. Just the he heard a shout behind him. He knew that voice—it was James Potter. He didn't really dislike James, but he would rather stay away from the Marauders if he could help it. James was a year younger then Frank but that hadn't stopped James from turning him into a duck. Twice. "Frankie…. Come out come out wherever you are." That was when Frank broke into a run. When James used that soft cooing voice it meant that he had a new prank that he wanted to test and Frank appeared to be his chosen victim of the day. Frank heard the sounds of pursuit behind him. Quickly Frank ducked into the Hogsmeade branch of Florish and Blotts. Frank quickly dived behind the history book section knowing that James would be caught dead before anyone saw him in the history section. Suddenly Frank noticed that there was someone was sitting next to him. It was Alice Pensive. Alice grinned at him and then snapped her bubble gum. Frank couldn't help but notice how her lime green leg warmers clashed with her red and gold Gryffindor scarf. He had never seen anything so beautiful. "Hiding from James?" Alice whispered with a grin. Frank nodded quickly, voiceless in her presence. "I'll distract him for you." Frank wasn't completely sure what Alice did. She seemed to cast some spell or other and there was the sound of something shattering. When Frank peeked out again James was gone. She smiled at him, ran a hand through her wild blond hair, while she snapped her chewing gum. Frank was in love.

Now his son lay screaming in his arms. Alice was out on a mission and Frank had no idea what to do. He had tried feeding him, even changed his diaper but nothing seemed to soothe Neville. Having a kid was complicated but Alice seemed to be a natural at it. She always knew the right thing to do. Frank, well he was clueless. That was when he saw it.

Sitting on the dresser next to the crib was a Droobles Blowing Gum wrapper. Alice never had gotten over her Droobles addiction. An idea was forming in Frank's mind. He darted forward, trying not to jostle little Neville too much, and grabbed the wrapper. Neville loved playing with the wrappers and just as Frank thought Neville's desperate cries began to abate at the site of the gum wrapper. Suddenly Neville reached out his hand and the wrapper was yanked cleanly out of Franks hand and placed in Neville's by an unseen force. Frank had never been so proud.

Two hours later Neville was happily sleeping when the floo grate glowed gree. Out of it tumbled Alice. She was sobbing. Frank took her into his arms as she cried.

"She… Frank they got her in an alley. She wasn't even on the mission tonight." Alice let out an anguished howl after that sentence.

Frank felt a sick feeling begin in his stomach.

"Marlene." Alice sobbed. "The mission was fine. Two death eathers, easy, but then…got a potronus call from Sirius. He found Marlene in the alley. I don't like him but the look on his face Frank…it was…terrifying. He looked empty Frank…wasn't even crying…like someone had just ripped out his heart… left it dead with Marlene."

Alice phrases were broken with sobs and punctuated with hiccups.

Frank had never seen Alice like this. It was understandable. Marlene and Alice had been so close. They had been dorm mates in the year below him and they had almost never been apart. Marlene's death was as terrifying as anything could be for Alice. It had never really struck her before that people she loved could die. It had never struck him before.

And in that moment Frank knew that if Alice ever died he would end up like Sirius. Broken on the street, not even crying because that wouldn't have even conveyed the pain that was inside. Frank understood the reason that Sirius had just stood on the street. Not saying a word. Because in the end what could you say. What something, what grief would ever encompass the way that she moved, or snapped her chewing gum? What tears would ever show the something in the way she dressed and lived. They wouldn't.

That was why in that moment when Alice came home Frank knew what it would be like to loose her. That's why Frank knew exactly what would happen if he lost Alice. That's why two years later when he shouted at Alice to take Neville and run he understood why she came back proudly to his side wand in hand. He understood why she came back for him after saving Neville.

He would never forgive her for it.