Love; sometimes a desperate curse
Twisted in its undying nature
Destined me to surrender my heart
For he was the only one in my eyes
Love; found him; not in my embrace
In another's arms, he lies.
My veins run cold, with his absence
The cuts deepened as the day's passed
Silence torments my waking hours
Tears drench my sulking face,
What I remain, is nothing without him,
What I long for, is his everlasting harbor
The heart that beats, as it is my own,
Thirst's for his eternal love.
The soul still searching the air,
That blanketed his scent.
Through the darkest nights,
I wished for him…
I wished for our stars to align,
I wished for our love to become one.
Alas, my heart has hope
Again in my path, he has come
Will our fate allow our love?
Will our destiny reveal itself?
Running Scared
Running had been my escape in the last few months after my transformation to a being that I still couldn't comprehend, least of all accept. Running provided me the respite from the tangled confusion that haunted my daily existence.
The feel of the wind on my fur as I rushed past the blur of trees in the forest soothed my ache into a dull throbbing pain. I had to get away, far enough to find my place in the world, to see what lies ahead.
I had accepted the fact that I was the only female werewolf in existence, the aberration of nature. I was still coming to terms with the fact that I may not be able to run away from my destiny, but I would make sure that I was not trapped into acceptance that I could not lead a normal life.
I have loved a man with all my heart, only to lose him to the very nature of what our kind had no control of. I loved him with every fiber of my being. What I couldn't accept was that I wouldn't have him in my life anymore. How could imprinting be such a cruel aspect of our lives?
Every part of me died when he fell in love with someone else. I wanted to end his existence, I craved to end my life but I couldn't. Should I walk away? How could I leave without fighting for my man, my feelings and my life? Was I supposed to just accept my fate and embrace it?
The fading side of me that was good still triumphed against the vengeful and angst ridden side of me that was now in control. I wrestled with myself, my inner demon every day; my every waking hour was tortured, labored and pained. I wanted the hurt to go away.
The wound were deep and the broken shred of my heart had been mending slowly. My anger had simmered, replaced by a quiet but belligerent acceptance that none of us had any choice in this matter. I kept my misery to myself, I had punished my pack brothers long enough with my lashing and anger and they shouldn't suffer any longer.
They heard my vile mind over and over and they endured enough. Now, my firm resolve was to move on and live my life as completely normal as I could, if that was even possible. The pieces of my broken heart were scattered everywhere, picking up the pieces would be impossibly difficult. With my weakened soul, I doubt that I had anything more left to salvage my ruptured and fragmented life.
Leaving Sam's pack was a welcome change in my life. I would miss my other brothers but I needed to get away. Jacob's pack did not promise anything better, except the absence of the daily torture of seeing and being around Sam. He was so close and yet so far away. I didn't want to reach my hand out to him knowing he wouldn't be a part of my life ever again.
Being a part of Jacob's pack gave me the space I demanded away from all things that reminded me of what I had lost. There was almost always a trade off, with the peace and quiet that I enjoyed in Jacob's pack we had to endure, or I had to endure the company of the Cullen's.
Jacob decided that he would be the house pet of the Cullen's and we were a package deal, that is, my brother Seth and I. We were the honorary pet, for a lack of a better word to describe ourselves.
I had no desire to be around the leeches to begin with. They were, after all, our natural enemies. Bella made my blood boil even more. How could she lead Jacob on? She had her leech Edward hanging on to her every word, willing to break their carefully bonded pact with our tribe to be with her and eventually transformed her into one of them.
Bella should set Jacob straight, better to inflict the hurt in its early stages instead of later when he was in too deep. She wanted her cake and eat it too. What a party she was throwing, Vampires and Shape shifters on her beck and call.
She had a choice and she chose her destiny, she wanted a life with Edward. I think it is just right to sever the ties and cut Jacob loose, that would be the honorable thing to do. I could hear Jacob's mind every minute of our time together as we patrolled their vast land. How Jacob's tortured soul lamented over his unrequited love for her. The hurt and longing that oozed out from every pore of his mortal existence would send chills down my spine.
Love was the enemy. We shouldn't succumb to its beauty and its candor for it would bite us in our hind, and would send daggers that would eventually kill us, rob us of our lives, our pride and ourselves. We will lose!
My head was spinning wildly and I had no power to control it. I hated my life and what I turned into. I questioned its validity, its importance and purpose. I was a mere shell of my former self. I looked in the mirror and I didn't see myself clearly anymore. The girl staring back at me had a cynical smirk on her face, a dull, senseless look in her eyes and a beaten demeanor of a broken life.
Leah, come with me and let's have a talk, away from here. Jacob's calm voice brought me out of my silent rambling. He'd heard everything that was running through my angst infested mind, since we were in our wolf form and I couldn't conceal anything from him or Seth.
What about your precious Cullen's Jacob? I asked sarcastically. I couldn't help myself as Jacob's eyes darted at me, warning me not to push his buttons.
Seth is running patrol for now and you need to hunt. You haven't eaten and I need some air.
Suit yourself boss.
He led the way as he galloped and broke into a fast run. I was faster than him and getting a head start was the only way he could get ahead. I caught up to him in no time, his russet- colored fur glistening in the sun, captivating and breathtaking.
We ran as far north as our legs would take us, crossing Canada in a matter of hours.
Jacob, are you planning to go to Alaska? I asked not breaking my stride.
Jacob's laugh resonated in my head as he slowed down and studied my face.
We can stop here and talk Leah. I will phase first and come back here, you can do whatever you like. He jumped out of view and headed to a dense area of trees.
I phased back and hurriedly pulled the string on my legs that held my clothes. I particularly hated this part of phasing, as the lone female werewolf ever to grace the earth, it wasn't easy to show myself naked to my pack brothers. I still wanted my privacy, my pride.
Jacob came back after a few minutes wearing denim cut off shorts. The muscles on his broad shoulders were more pronounced now more than ever.
"So Leah, what's your problem with Bella?" Jacob faced me and was staring intently at me, reading my expression.
I returned his stare with equal intensity, challenging him. "She doesn't love you Jacob. You know that and she knows it too. She chose that leech over you." I didn't mince my words, stressing it would give a better impact. I was hoping Jacob would finally realize that he had lost the battle already.
He winced at the callousness of my words.
"I know it Leah, Bella told me already. Don't take your frustrations out on her. She is dealing with a lot of things right now and she doesn't need you lashing out on her."
"Then what are we doing there Jacob? Don't we have anything better to do? Our people need us, we don't belong with the Cullen's."
"Leah, you are free to go. I didn't ask you to come with me. Go take you brother with you on your way home." Jacob was gritting his teeth; I could clearly see that I had gotten into his last nerves.
"I am not going to leave you alone with those bloodsuckers, you know that. And besides, who would look after my brother?"
"Your brother was never in danger where the Cullen's are concerned. Seth seemed to have won everyone's friendship and affection."
"Yeah, like a pet." It felt to me like Seth betrayed me being friends with those bloodsuckers. How dare he get cozy with their enemies? I particularly hated the fact that Seth and Edward seemed to have forged a deep friendship that went beyond anything we'd seen before; no boundaries or borders.
"Leah, I won't say this again but I'm warning you to stop harassing Bella or I will throw you out myself."
"You are going to treat me like that way to defend the leech lover and her cohorts of bloodsuckers? What happened to you Jacob?"
"There are no sides to take Leah. Bella is my friend and I will defend her because that is how friends are. I cannot change or affect her decision in any way, although God knows I tried. I wished I could imprint on her so I could claim her as mine." He raked his brown hand over his jet black hair, he sounded resigned.
Imprinting. The word leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I despised the knowledge of having our kind to go through that part of life. Why weren't we given any choice? Didn't we have a say about who we should fall in love with? Who we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with?
Is it by cruel decree that we're subjected to this rigid and unnecessary suffering?
"Jake, why can't you do it? Imprint on Bella?"I was bewildered by the prospect of imprinting. I could not grasp its meaning and relevance.
"Leah, we cannot choose who we imprint on, it just happens. There is no planning involved. We have no say in it at all," he said in an exasperated voice, sadness creeping up on him.
Watching Jacob looking submissive to his destiny was painful. The fear of the unknown was enough to cause us to tuck our tails and run. The idea of imprinting is another way being robbed of your free will which clearly violates our right to choose, our right to live and to love who we want.
"Jake, am I going to imprint too? I am a woman after all, don't men just do that?" My question scared me to death. Did I follow their patterns? Who would know if I was the first and only female werewolf in existence? Where would I get my answer?
"Leah, I don't know what to tell you, my dad doesn't know either, but I promised you that I will not stop until we find you some answers."
Jacob's promise offered very little comfort. I had no choice in the matter, no information on what lies ahead. I won't lose any sleep on it. Que sera, sera.
"Jake thanks, I appreciate that. And I am sorry about the way I have been acting, it's been really tough to take, all these things happening. I will go and see Bella and apologize to her."
Jacob's face softened at the mention of Bella's name. I could clearly see that his hurt was much deeper than he would allow people to see. If I could only help him in any way, I wouldn't even hesitate. Only time would help us. We had both been given a big pill, and it's a tough one to swallow.
"No problem Leah, I know where you're coming from. Believe me when I say that I understand what you're going through, more than you'll ever know." He put his arms around my shoulder and drew me close to him. It felt good to know that someone cared, that someone understood how I felt.
"You know Jacob, I would follow you anytime. I like being in your pack, I mean it," I said truthfully.
"Don't get used to it Leah, I have every intention to go my own way as soon as all of this is over."
Jacob helped me up on my feet as he changed the subject. "Do you want me to go hunting with you or do you want me to wait for you here?"
"Nah, I'll go by myself." I grinned as I walked towards the woods to remove my clothing before I shifted back to my wolf form.
I took off in fast run, this shouldn't take long. As much as I loathed eating in this form, I was better off eating raw meat instead of the fine food the Cullen's would serve. Wait, I promised Jake I would be nicer to Bella and that meant her soon to be family too.
I made a mental note to try harder next time I saw them. I was really losing my marbles here, so much stuff going on in my head, all the changes happening to me, most of them I had no control of, they were shoved in my face and I had to deal with it.
I spotted a moose grazing by the edge of a ravine; I quietly picked up my pace and plunged forward to attack it with full force. It was slightly bigger than me but I had the element of surprise on my side. I sank my fangs in its neck and threw it to the ground, away from the edge of the ravine.
It didn't give up easily without a fight, trying to stay upright but the gashing wound in its neck made it stagger, blood was coming out of the punctured spot.
I hurriedly bit on its jugular; I couldn't stand the whimpering sounds it was making. I had to act fast, I didn't want to start feeling pity and remorse, I had to eat and he was my meal. The whimpering subsided and I greedily went for the best parts first, the stomach, to the neck part and down to the leg part. I swallowed enough meat to last me a longer duration 'til my next hunt.
I ran to the nearby stream and shifted back to my other form. I dislodged my clothes from the string that held it and I quickly washed myself before dressing back to my old and dirty shirt and short. I l disliked this part of being a female werewolf, having to endure being dirty, smelly and shoeless.
Running back to Jacob took but a few minutes, he was already in a deep sleep and his face was still etched with weariness.
I sat next to him, not wanting to wake him yet. It felt like a long time since we had peace and quiet and I welcomed the calm wave that engulfed me at that moment.
I closed my eyes and let my tired and weary body take me someplace where thoughts and reasoning weren't necessary. Where I didn't have to think and feel. I needed a reprieve even just for a short moment.
"Leah, Leah", the sound of Jacob's voice roused me from my deep slumber. I looked around groggily, the sun was starting to set and the wind had picked up a bit, not that it would affect either of us. We had been running a nice warm temperature these days.
I got up slowly feeling a bit out of sorts and dusted some leaves off my shirt and shorts. What a sorry sight I may be, I sighed.
"How long was I out?" Jacob looked rested and ready to go.
"May have been over two hours, I slept before you got back so I really wouldn't know. Are you ready to go?" he asked me impatiently.
"Yeah, let me shift and I'll meet you here," I said as my voice trailed off as I ran towards a group of trees.
We took off running at the same time while gauging each other's speed. It was a comfortable trip back to forks, to the Cullen's house. We tuned each other out, just letting our senses drift through the blur of gray, green and brown which represented our surroundings.
The bustle in the Cullen house registered within a few miles before we got there. I could hear the voices of the family as they hovered around Bella, her condition turning graver by the hour. Edward came to look at the window as we got to the driveway.
He looked at me with a silent warning, as if he was saying not to do or say anything stupid.His facial expression clearly sent his message across. If looks could kill! He had the "I will shred you to pieces if you even attempt to say anything that will upset Bella" look.
Jacob answered for me. Hey Edward, hold your horses. Leah will be in her best behavior. Worry about your wife and let me worry about my friends.
I abruptly stopped in my tracks, digging my paws into the damp earth. I looked at Jacob appreciatively and muttered an uncomfortable word of gratitude.
Thanks. I don't know what else to say.
I stayed behind so I could phase back to my human form in the privacy of the woods. Jacob phased back as soon as my back was turned, he had gotten better in the fast paced shifting. He was indeed destined to be an Alpha, although he was still reluctant in accepting that fact.
I let myself in the house and a slurping sound drowned all the rest of the voices that were gathered around Bella.
My stomach lurched as soon as I realized she was drinking human blood. I bit my tongue and just nodded at Jacob and Seth as I settled in my spot in the corner of the living room. Seth's left arm was draped around Bella while his other hand held a big sandwich, obviously prepared by one of the vampires there.
I shook my head with disappointment. This brother of mine had very little sense. He didn't see the glaring difference between our kind and that of the bloodsuckers. Edward gave me a warning glance which I returned with a challenging glare.
Bella caught this silent exchange, as did Jacob. His lips thinned into a straight line, he would be issuing an Alpha order by now if we were in our wolf form. Too bad we couldn't hear each other right now.
I chewed on my lips and decided to just look out the window, sitting still proved difficult. The stenches of the bloodsuckers were reeking, and my nostrils just about had it, so I pushed up and let myself out of the front door.
"Let me take a quick run around the perimeter and I'll meet you back here when I'm done."
Jacob simply nodded, knowing too well that I had to get out of there.
Maybe I should just stay in my wolf form; the phasing back and forth was giving me a whiplash. I smiled as I tied my clothes to my hind leg with a string.
I tapped my paws on the ground and pushed with my hind legs as I went for a no holds barred run. The wind was exhilarating on my face, cleansing the stink out of my mind, ridding my senses of the gagging odor that assaulted me inside the vampires' house.
Ugh!
I released my senses to a complete surrender, not giving any care in the world. It's just me and the trees, the woods and the clean air. The absence of the foul smelling combination of wet powder and rotting carcass that I'd come to associate with the filthy bloodsuckers was a welcome change.
Out of nowhere the same foul odor assaulted me, my ears plastered against my skull and my hackles rose like it was being pulled out. The stench was coming at me fast from my right.
Before I could react, a form barreled at me from my right side and I flew about 30 feet across the air before I hit a tree. The earth shook and the tree almost shattered into pieces on contact. I felt a rib crack on impact but I quickly got back on my feet, my fangs bared and I was ready for battle. I looked at the figure that attacked me, he was male vampire. The reek emanating from him was purely vampiric, his eyes were ruby red, a human feeder, and he stood tall in a rangy frame.
I lunged at him with every ounce of physical strength that I possessed, aiming for his neck but he was quick enough to pivot sideways, I scraped his shoulder with my teeth that sent him staggering backward before he threw me to the ground.
We circled each other, I could feel the throbbing of my fangs in anticipation and my tail was swishing wildly from behind me. The vampires' teeth were bared as well, his eyes quickly assessing our situation as we continued sizing each other up. There was a gaping hole on his shoulder that was quickly closing up.
I felt a sudden pulling somewhere in the pit of my stomach, it felt like a major vein sent a surge of electricity throughout my body, jolting me into a frenzy of thoughts and god-awful knotting in my entire being. Everything shut down minutely, my existence focused on him only. I couldn't dismiss the sudden and random spastic effect that pulsated through me as I looked at him. It seemed like he became the focal point of my life at that very minute.
A sudden shouting in my head alerted me that Jacob and Seth were on their way. Their voices were a mix of worry, anger and anticipation. The only thing I could make out was Jacob's words. We are coming Leah!
I could hear the thudding of the paws as well as the footsteps of two others. Alice and Edward were running alongside Jacob and Seth as they got into my peripheral view.
Edward was ordering the man to stop.
"Garrett, do not attack her, she is with us," he said in a tone that halted the movement of the vampire.
Jacob and Seth quickly stepped in front of me and Garrett, snarling and growling with fury. Edward and Alice stood in between us and the man they obviously knew.
Edward held his hands sideways, breaking the fight that was about to happen. I growled loud enough to get their attention.
Get out of my way, this is between me and that leech. I snarled at him through the barricade of the wolves and vampires in between us.
Leah! Jacob's alpha order rang in my ear, I couldn't move my paws under the strict call of my leader. My hind legs trembled unable to ignore his order. I wanted to disregard his command but my whole body refused to move, accepting the spoken authority without question.
Edward spoke first while Alice looked like she was in pain, pressing both thumbs onto her temple while inching slowly to Garrett.
"Garrett, our nomadic friend, what brings you here in our part of the country?" Edward finally put his hands down, he had likely read Garrett's mind.
"Edward, my feet took me to this part so I decided to visit my old friend Carlisle. Where is your father anyway?"
He addressed Edward but his eyes never left me, his stare guarded but unwavering. The anger that we both felt a few seconds ago seemed to have diminished a notch.
"Carlisle is fine, he is at our house. I will take you there after we straighten this out. Edward was clearly in a hurry, wanting to get back to his precious Bella. "What made you attacked Leah the way you did?"
Garrett didn't take his time in answering, his gaze still locked in mine. His eyes bore down into mine, as if he could read my mind. "I sensed a wo…her," he pointed at me as he stopped himself from saying the wolf word. "She was coming in my direction at an incredible speed, I couldn't see her then, all I could sensed was something big. I decided it was either me or whoever it was." He sounded apologetic but he held his chin up stubbornly.
"Jacob it's okay, Garrett won't do anything. You can take my word for it." Edward chastised Jacob as he looked at Garrett who had relaxed his stance behind the two vampires and werewolves that separated us.
I gritted my teeth, still seething inside. I would love to sink my teeth in his neck and dismember him into oblivion.
Leah, that's enough! Jacob commanded as I reluctantly backed off a bit.
"Why don't we continue this conversation back in our house and settle whatever it is back there," Edward said, obviously in no mood to prolong the stand-off. He gave me a knowing look after he spoke. Edward and his mind reading abilities were really getting on my nerves, why did he have to know everyone's business?
Alice quickly nodded, the presence of werewolves obviously taking its toll on her physic ability for she couldn't see things clearly in our presence.
Jacob spoke to Edward. You guys go ahead and we will follow, just make sure your bloodsucking friend is careful around us and Bella, he said in a threatening tone that Edward simply nodded.
He summoned Garrett to follow him as they quickly tore in a fast run back to the Cullen residence.
The three of us were left in the woods, looking at each other with grim expressions. Seth cleared his throat as Jake started shaking his head.
Leah, what have you done? His question took me by surprise as Jacob started pacing in between us. So, they felt it too?
Leah, are you aware that you have imprinted on that bloodsucker? Jacob accused me as his anger bubbled on the surface.
I did, didn't I?
I dug my paws deeper into the ground as my ears pulled down and back. Oh my god, what have I done? I cringed at the thought of what happened in the last few minutes.
Could I screw up even worse than this? This had got to be the worst time of my life. This one tipped the scale of shitty, shittier than my werewolf transformation and Sam's imprinting on my cousin.
I need to be alone guys! I will see you in a bit. I started sobbing hysterically. The after effect of my imprinting just surfaced fully and it slapped me hard in my face. I had to get out of there as fast as I possibly could.
Sis, I am here for you… was all Seth could say as Jacob restrained him from following behind me.
I ran as fast as my legs could go, I sprinted across the forest floor, not minding the thorns from bushes that scraped my fur. I welcomed the pain, it helps numbed the pain that I stupidly inflicted upon myself.
Is there a way to reverse the process? From what I had gathered from the pack, this was irreversible, involuntary and definitely permanent.
The silence of the forest was deafening, for the only sound that resonated in my ears was my incessant sobbing. I bellowed a loud and piercing cry as I ran faster, away from the place where I leveled a lifetime curse on myself.
~o~
Days turned into weeks and before I knew it, I'd been gone for over 5 months. I finally gathered enough courage to return to La Push. I had to show myself to my family somehow. No matter what everyone would say, I needed to see my family.
I was positive that a condemnation would follow? How could a bizarre being like me imprint on a natural enemy? I was an aberration after all, so my best defense was my inability to control the urges that were solely unique to me, a fluke of nature who had no precedent to follow as its guide and example.
My mother, Sue, hugged me when I made my way in our house. I was aware that Seth and Jacob gave her the news already and she had been waiting for my return.
I cried in her arms, letting myself go as I unleashed the tears that may forever stay with me. She held me in her arms as I hung on to her, grateful that she understood my plight.
"Hey baby, hush now and dry your tears." She titled my chin so she can look in my eyes. "Everything happened for a reason," she stated calmly.
I wanted to believe her with every fiber of my being. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and slowly nodded as she kept holding me.
After I ate, showered and changed into some fresh clothes, I decided to shift to my wolf form to be able to contact Seth and Jacob. I was pretty sure that they were worrying about me.
I found myself running to the Cullen's house where I know I would find them. I phased as soon as I got I closer to the vampire property and decided to walk the rest of the way.
Jacob and Seth were waiting outside the house for me. Seth broke out into a big smile as he ran to meet me. He gave me a big, long hug, uncharacteristic of my brother.
Jake waited until my brother and I finished our mini reunion before coming up to me. He patted me on the shoulder as he gave me a tight smile.
"Are you okay Leah?" he asked as the three of us walked back to the Cullen house.
"Yes, I think I will survive this." I offered a weak smile, still unsure of my future but willing to move on and start facing the music.
"Leah, I just want you to know that he's still here, he refused to leave 'til he sees you. There is nothing I can do about it." Jacob seemed hesitant as he gave me that piece of information.
My heart flipped when I heard this. I didn't know what to do, what could I say to him? After all, it was my fault that we were tied together the way we were. Maybe, I should see him and get it over with and he could go on his way.
Seth took my hand and gently squeezed it. "He is waiting for you at the boulder at the foot of clearing."
I nodded and turned around as I headed to the place where I would meet my imprintee. My legs were heavy and my steps slow as I made my way to the clearing with trepidation and uncertainty.
There he was, seated on the boulder waiting for me. He was looking at me as I made my way towards him, his expression unreadable. It dawned on me that he had no idea what I looked like, I was in my werewolf form that fateful day when our paths collided.
His eyes startled me, what used to be ruby red irises when I first saw him was now reddish rust. What had he been feeding on? I asked myself as I surveyed the vampire waiting for me.
Garrett's long and sandy colored hair was pulled back in a ponytail. His face was well proportioned, his lips full and his mouth was provocative. He would have been good looking in my book if he wasn't a vampire.
I stopped a few feet from him and refused to look at him in the eye, instead I concentrated on my bare feet. The silence stretched when neither one of us said anything.
"Hello Leah! I want to formally introduce myself to you this time, I am Garrett." His voice was a deep baritone; I couldn't help but look up as he spoke. He didn't offer his hand to me nor did I make any attempt to come closer. "I have been waiting for you…." His voice trailed off as it was laced with hesitation.
"Why are you waiting for me Garrett? We have nothing to say to each other," I replied as I looked away, again. There was a sudden tugging of strings inside me, wanting me to get closer to him.
"Yes we do, Leah. We have a lot to say to each other, I don't even know where to begin."
"I don't have anything to say to you except to offer my apology for that thing I did to you that day." I couldn't bring myself to say "imprint."
"Jacob and Seth filled me in on that already. And I accept your apology," he said in a very gentle voice that made my hands tremble and I quickly shoved my hands in my pocket, hoping he didn't notice it.
He jumped off the rock and landed with a soft thud next to me. He was a head taller than my 5"6 build, and he was even more handsome up close. My heart started racing which added to my irritation, I am well aware of the attraction between the imprinter and her imprintee but this was ridiculous. I don't have to act like a love-sick school girl.
I stepped back allowing more space between us as the nasty vampire scent swirled around me. "Garrett, I want you to know that I wouldn't have done that if I had any control at all in that matter." I offered the only explanation that I can come up with.
"Leah, I…." he was clearly looking for the right words to say, he didn't try to move closer to me. "I don't have any problem with your imprinting on me. I do not resent you at all."
"What?" I was taken aback at his statement. He didn't mind it at all?
"It was instantaneous for me too, well, we don't do that imprinting thing like you do, but as soon as you did what you did, I felt drawn to you instantly. That was the reason why I couldn't leave. I am hoping we could talk about it or maybe work something out."
"What are you saying?" I couldn't believe what he had just said; he wanted to work things out between us? "Are you blind? Can't you see that we are totally different like night and day?" I almost spat the words out.
"No Leah, I am not blind. The fact of the matter is I like what I see." He openly appraised me from head to toe with wanton eyes. "If you would let me, I would like to get to know you."
I held my chin up to challenge him but another tugging inside me made me stop. Was this the power of our curse? Our will versus or sub-conscious?
"It won't work Garrett, I can tell you that now. We are natural enemies as you know it. You use humans for food, the very ones that we would kill to protect," I said as acidly as I could.
"Leah, ever since you ran away, I have adopted the Cullen's vegetarian diet. I haven't hunted any human for the duration of your absence. I knew that would come between us and I don't want it to. Your brother and Jacob can attest to that fact," he said with sincerity in his voice that made my heart melt.
So now I was turning into a lush? Was I going to fall for him? I silently cursed myself for my actions.
"I…. noticed that about your eyes right away," I reluctantly agreed unable to look at him, afraid that he would see right through me.
"I only ask you to give it a try, I am not going anywhere. I will stay however long it takes to see if we can work things out."
"I don't know what to say Garrett." I was afraid to look in his eyes, afraid that I may not be able to hold my resolve. After all, I imprinted on him and that only meant that there was an undeniable attraction that he held on me.
"And besides, I really have nowhere to go and I was invited by Carlisle to stay indefinitely…" A smile playfully formed in his eyes and slowly moved to his mouth.
"I still don't know what to say." I couldn't suppress the sudden surge of happiness that flooded my entire body at that very moment. Would I deny myself the attraction that I feel towards this vampire in front of me? Could I?
"Leah, you can't run away from me because I will find you, don't deny my feelings for you. We both know that there is something here between us."
He reached his pale white hand to touch my face, it was iced cold and I recoiled from his touch. The coldness of his hand didn't affect me at all but the feel of his touch made me sick to my stomach because I liked it. Why in the hell did I like it?
"I can't do this Garrett, I'm sorry." I didn't even look at him as I ran as fast as I could away from him. He didn't make any attempt to follow me which was a good thing. I needed some space to think.
I phased as soon as I got far enough and kept running until I reached the Canadian border. This was where I would spend the night, far enough while I would try clear my head. I tried not to think of what just transpired between us. Exhaustion finally claimed me and I fell asleep after several hours of crying hopelessly.
I felt the sun in my face when I woke up the next morning, I felt utterly helpless and drained. I decided to go back and called for Jacob. I needed to talk and he was the only one I could talk to who could possibly understand my situation.
He came bounding in just a few minutes, he found me close to the treaty line as I was pacing back and forth.
Leah, what's wrong? I came as soon as I heard you call.
Jacob already phased when he reached me, he looked haggard, his eyes had were almost drooping but he looked extremely happy, a gloating smile broke out as I looked at him questioningly. I left to shift in my wolf form so we could talk but the vision that I got nearly brought me down on my knees.
"You did not! Oh my god Jake! How did it happen? I left for one night and all these things happened simultaneously?" My countless questions came out in a rush as I tried to catch my breath.
"I have no idea what happened Leah, I was so upset thinking Bella didn't make it and I was planning on getting rid of the baby but one look in her eye and BAM it just happened. I feel like a puppet tied on a thousand strings. It's like my world just revolves around her, and she is just a baby." Jacob was gushing like I've never seen before. It was the same look I'd seen from Quil and Paul when they imprinted.
"How's Bella? Did she make it?" I suddenly found myself praying that she made it alive either as human or transformed into the being that she'd always wanted to be. I would make sure that I found the time to talk to her at the first possible chance I got.
"It was just me and Edward left because blondie went berserk at the sight of blood so Alice and Emmett had to restrain her. Edward did everything he could; only time could tell if her transformation was successful.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I crossed my fingers hoping for Bella's recovery and successful crossover to the other side. It's quite odd how I found myself pulling for her at this moment.
"Jacob, it sounds like we are on the same boat?" Uncertain at that point if I was happy with the fact or not that we both imprinted on people we were genetically incompatible with. Should we really care?
"Yeah, I guess so Leah." He smile was almost apologetic.
"What am I going to do Jake?" The thought of Garrett never left my mind.
"Leah, you'll have to follow your heart. Go with what you think will make you happy." Jacob had this serene look in his face that I envied. Who would expect that he would imprint so soon?
"But it's so wrong, Jacob. It goes against everything that we stood for. I feel like I am betraying our people and myself. I feel like a hypocrite."
I was scared out of my wits just considering the possibilities. Would I deny myself this knowing that Garrett wanted to give it a fair chance?
"You have no alternative left, either you go for it or you live the rest of your life in misery. I am afraid that's the only two options you have," Jacob offered sympathetically as he held my hands in his big ones.
"I am scared Jake, I really am." Tears started welling in my eyes as my lips started to tremble. "I want to be with him but we are so different in a lot of ways. We are polar opposites, like day and night. How can it work?"
"Leah, you and Garrett would make it work out. If you are for each other, you will find a way."
"Thanks Jake, I knew you were the right one to talk to." I pulled him into my arms and gave him the tightest hug.
"Awww Leah, watch it. I believe I am spoken for… as soon as Edward and Bella agreed to it," he added as he playfully slapped me on my backside. "Go for it girl."
"Love you Jake, thanks bud. And good luck with Edward and Bella, and of course with Renesmee." I winked at him as I took off running into the direction of the Cullen's house.
Where should I go? Where would I find him? What would I say? The barrage of questions rapidly assaulted me as I ran as fast I could.
Please be there, please be there! I chanted in my head as I got to the clearing.
And he was! Garrett was sitting on the same spot, atop the boulder where I saw him yesterday.
I ran into his arms without hesitation, barring any other thoughts that would keep me from doing what my heart had been shouting all along.
The cold collided with the hot, as night and day would meet at twilight and even sworn enemies would shake hands for one true belief. My mind was reeling, I refused to think anymore as I let my instinct and my heart take over. I was done thinking. I would let my heart guide me this time.
"Oh Leah, I was scared that you wouldn't come back here, to me. I wanted so much to hold you like this yesterday but I couldn't do it, I didn't want to scare you away." Garrett spoke as he held me tight, his mouth brushing against my hair, his vampire scent swirling around me.
I shuddered at the thought that I could have lost him because of my reluctance to bridge our gap, our differences and my fear to love again.
"Garrett, I am scared but I am done running away. I am willing to give it a fair shot." I returned his embrace with fervent ardor and desire I thought I'd lost along with my hurt and confusion.
"Baby, let me love you and show you that we can do anything if we choose to." He took my chin and tilted it up to his face. I gazed in his eyes and saw a silent promise of love.
He closed his mouth on mine as we passionately surrender ourselves to each other. We clung to each other like a lifeline, our passion and desire thick in the air.
"You are so beautiful Leah." His voice was ragged in my ear. I could feel our self control waning and I gently nudged him.
"Don't you think we should iron out the details first?" I asked as I tried to catch my breath.
"Leah, we have all the time in the world to talk about the details. We have all eternity to spend with each other. The rest can wait. All I want right now is you."
I wound my fingers in his hair as I drew him closer.
"Yes Garrett, a lifetime with each other. I like that." We kissed again, this time our desire for each other took us to the happy place where we both wanted to be.