Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.
This will be the first in a series of one-shots accompanying my fic 'What he Wanted'. Many thanks to my (sort of) beta Night Fox Riku!
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Control
Naruto didn't want to die.
He knew exactly how deep and in which direction to cut, but he never did. That wasn't why he did this.
The physical pain did nothing to take away or help him forget the pain in his heart.
He took no pleasure in the sharp bite of the metal carving into his flesh. No, the pain only served as a harsh reminder of those awful nights spent in his enslaver's, his torturer's, and his master's domain.
It wasn't that he wanted attention.
Naruto had long since learnt that any focus on him would be that of malicious intent. He no longer proclaimed his desire for attention and respect. He had realised with painful brutality that dreams were just that: dreams. Pitiful things of little or no worth to be obsessed over, but never realised.
It wasn't to rebel.
He had no desire to go against Sasuke. He despised the commands to strip, to bend over, to get fucked, but he obeyed. He did not see Sasuke in a romantic way at all, but as a brother. As his family. His only family. And he would do anything to keep Sasuke by his side, because he loved him. And, he wanted to believe that Sasuke loved him too in his own sick, twisted, sadistic manner.
It was about the scars.
Naruto would cut himself again and again just to see the scars. In a world where he was powerless, the scars served as physical reminders. Something tangible to prove that he had just a small bit of power over his otherwise dominated life.
Because for everything else, Sasuke was in control.