The Vampires of Royal Woods

by bahr2006

When Lucy Loud believes she can become a vampire by biting all of her siblings, she does exactly that. However, this deal may not be what it seems, because there is no vampire magic here, and this is all just the doing of a violent archenemy.

The Vampires of Royal Woods

A "The Loud House" fanfiction story

By bahr2006

It is a quiet night in the Loud House, and the Loud family have just gone to bed. Outside Lucy and Lynn's window hides a figure in the shadows. This character silently scales the wall of the Loud House as he quickly throws a paper airplane into Lucy's coffin and silently leaves the area. The airplane pokes Lucy's cheek, waking her up.

Lucy: "Wha, what's this? And what's in this vial?"

Lucy unfolds the paper airplane to reveal a note that read,

"Dear Lucy,

I find that you want to become a vampire. If you would truly like to do so, drink the vial of vampire blood and bite all of your siblings. You will not be able to become a bat until every last sibling is a vampire.

Sincerely,

Count Foreweil"

Lucy then opened the vial and gulped down the vampire blood.

Lucy: "Who do I bite first? I'll just go with Lynn."

Lucy walked over to Lynn and bit her on the neck, waking Lynn up.

Lynn: "Ow! Lucy, why would you do that?"

Lucy: "I can be a vampire if all of my siblings become vampires. That means you're a vampire now."

Lynn suddenly realized she was no longer tired, and rather cranky. Lynn was a vampire.

Lynn: "Let's go bite Lana and Lola."

Lucy and Lynn left their bedroom and Lynn began to knock on the twins' bedroom.

Lola: "Lana, could you knock that off? I need my beauty sleep!"

Lana: "That's not me!"

Lola: "Then what is it?"

Lola and Lana get up to investigate the noise and get bitten on their necks. Their shrieks alert Lisa, who is conducting an experiment. Lisa bursts out of her room with a flashlight.

Lisa: "What in probability is going on out here?"

Lucy: "Turn off that flashlight, you'll burn us to death!"

Lisa: "True the bulb I'm using an experimental filament which is meant to make night appear as day, though it is certainly not strong enough to disintegrate human flesh! Now go back to bed!"

Lola: "But I'm not tired!"

Lucy: "Vampires don't sleep at night."

Lisa: "Vampires are just made-up creatures meant for romance/horror folklore stories. If you stay up any longer you won't have the energy you need for day. Also, if you want to enter rapid-eye movement sleep aka dreamworld, you better get back to bed-now!"

Lola pounced Lisa, and bit her neck while Lana bit Lily.

In his room, Lincoln wakes up to notice an urge for the toilet.

Lincoln(in his mind): "Toilet, toilet, toilet!"

Lincoln rushes out of his room, not noticing the vampires, and gets to the bathroom.

While Lincoln is washing his hands, Lucy appears behind him.

Lucy: "Hey Linc."

Lincoln was startled at Lucy's pop-up.

Lincoln: "Uh, hi Lucy. Why are you in here?"

Lucy: "Didn't you see the other vampires?"

Lincoln: "Vampires?"

Lincoln looks out the bathroom door to see most of his sisters acting like zombies.

Lucy: "I can become a vampire if I bite all my siblings. So if I could see your neck, that would be great."

Lincoln rushed out of the bathroom and into Luna and Luan's bedroom. The slam of the door got the attention of the vampire sisters along with waking up Luna and Luan.

Luna: "What's the matter Linc?"

Luan: "Yeah, you look more scared than on April Fools Day."

Lincoln: "Lucy believes she's become a vampire, and she's bitten Lynn and all the younger sisters."

Lynn barges into the room and slams the door in Lincoln's face. Luna and Luan let out screams of terror as Lisa comes in too. These sounds alert Lori and Leni. Lori: "What is literally going on in here?"

Lincoln: "Lucy… biting… vampires…(passes out from door slammed in face)"

Lori: "Lincoln!"

Leni: "Clearly that means that Lucy was biting vampires. Then again, it could mean that Lucy believes she's become a vampire, and Lincoln passed out trying to avoid being bitten. Realistically, this could just be an infection that spreads through bites that someone set up just to infect our family."

Everyone was confused at Leni's hypothesis, as she is normally rather ditzy.

Leni: "What? Am I the only one who knows what common sense is?"

*sarcastic slow clapping

Lincoln: "Who's there?"

*slow clapping stops

Unknown: "It was I."

Lori: "No, who you literally are."

Unknown: "Okay, I hate you."

Loud Siblings: "Show yourself!"

Unknown(while jumping out from the staircase): "Tada! Here I am! My name is Brian McHasty, and you, are my archenemies."

Lucy: "Wait, did you set this up?"

Brian: "Why of course I did! I wrote the note and that vial was full of a sample of the Rabies virus! I knew that Lucy wanted to be a vampire, so I used that against her by making her infect her siblings with a disease as the first plan in my reign of terror upon your lives."

Leni: "I knew it!"

Brian: "Hey Lucy, was becoming a vampire really worth biting your siblings on the neck? Also, a vampire would not send you a note with your name on it on lined paper folded into a paper airplane. The is also the closest you'll ever get to being a real vampire."

Lucy: "It was not worth it, and I should have thought more sensibly, but vampires are real, and I will be a vampire one day."

Brian: "Thank you for sharing with us the moral of today's story and your life's goal."

Lucy: "But what do you have against us?"

Brian: "Let's see (inhales deeply), Lori says literally too much of the time, Leni is so dumb, I hate Luna's music, Luan is not funny, I hate Lynn's competitive spirit, Lincoln seems to be the only one who knows what the fourth wall is, Lucy always sneaks up on you, Lana is grose, Lola is such a brat and I can't believe she wants to be the queen of the world, Lisa creepily smiles when she's clearly holding a lie, and Lily, I have nothing against Lily, pooping is not her fault. You know what else? The sister fight defence protocol is sexest, sisters always fight over the smallest of matters, I hope my sister who is about Lily's age doesn't act like that(inhales deeply again). You're just a mistake of the world, okay. One boy and ten girls who really live up to their surname. I don't know how your parents manage to survive having eleven children! Or even how they managed coming up all those 'L' names."

Lynn: "I think you're crazy."

Lisa: "Well I believe you may suffer a personality disorder that leads to this arrogant personality."

Everyone but Brian looked at Lisa confused.

Lisa: "(sigh) I think when Brian was born, his brain was forced by a disease to give him violent behavior."

Lincoln: "Speaking of Brian, where'd he go?"

Everyone looked at where Brian was a moment ago.

Lisa: "Clearly he realized he could make a retreat while I was explaining the cause of his villainous personality."

Lola: "English, Lisa!"

Lisa: "He made his getaway while I was talking."

Lincoln: "He left a note on the floor."

Lincoln picked up the note which stated

"Consider yourselves antagonized! Wait, not yet! I have more plans up my sleeve(both figuratively and literally) that you are yet to experience.

-Brian McHasty, AKA your shows new main antagonist

P.S. Lincoln, have you ever considered your white hair coming from albinism?"

Lincoln: "Hmm, never thought about that. Well we better be ready to be antagonized."