Out of character Gai
Might Gai was sitting at the local pub in a private booth drowning his sorrows in various drinks. The normally cheerful and energetic man was depressed because of a problem that had been going on for far too long. The fact that his good friend and rival, Hatake Kakashi, was constantly taking his girlfriends. Well he couldn't really blame Kakashi completely to be honest. He couldn't help that every time he introduced his girlfriends to Kakashi, not too long after they broke up with him. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And then pursue him. Whether or not he actually dated any of them remained to be seen.
One would think he would start avoiding the man, but he couldn't. Not because he hadn't tried. Kami-sama knows he did. It was because everywhere he went, it always seemed Kakashi was either right there or following him. He tried avoiding his line of site, but he always saw him. He thought about giving up on dating all together, but he refused to do so. He had always wanted to find the right girl, settle down, and have children to pass on the message of youth to pass on for generations to come. He couldn't accomplish his goal with Kakashi stealing away his girlfriends. At this rate, he'd be childless and lonely for the rest of his life!
How could he solve this problem without having to leave his precious students behind? He didn't want to burden anyone with this problems, so he had to figure this out on his own. Why did he have to be so good looking?! There was only one way to deal with him. He had to make it so that Kakashi would never be able to take away another woman from him. After paying for his drinks, he called up Kakashi.
"Hello?" answered Kakashi.
"It's me, Gai." said Gai calmly.
"Oh hey, Gai!" he said cheerfully. He wasn't going to happy for long. "What's up?"
"I was wondering if you wanted to go spar with me."
"Gai, are you drunk or something?" he said amused. "It's 12 at night."
"No, I meant tomorrow!"
"Oh! Well sure! I'll meet you there around 2 pm. That alright with you?"
"Sure." he said smirking. They talked for a little while with Kakashi doing more talking than Gai, who was thinking up his plot revenge. Once he hung up, he went to go sleep so he could wake up early to get ready.
"Damn it, Tobi!" snapped Deidara threw the frying pan he had brought along at the lollipop masked man.
He was furious because he had accidentally dropped the map into the river and now they had to somehow get another one. Deidara had wanted to get the mission out of the way so he didn't have to spend time with the new member of the Akatsuki, but no! He just had to lose the map. If they couldn't get a map, they would have to wonder around until they found the village. They were heading to the Hidden Leaf to catch the nine-tails since Itachi and Kisame had failed to capture him. The thought of Itachi failing had brought a smile to his face and he was quick to volunteer to succeed where the mighty Uchiha had failed. Now he too would probably fail because of that dipshit Tobi!
"I-it's alright, Deidara!" said Tobi dodging the frying pan. "I know where it is!"
"You sure as hell had better!" he said cracking his knuckles. "Otherwise kiss your new membership good-bye!"
He gulped. "Y-yes, Deidara-senpai!"
He sighed and retrieved the frying pan. Tobi had better not be lying to him. He'd regret it if he didn't know. He shook his head as he went back to preparing dinner for him and Tobi. The next morning, they hopped on Deidara's large clay bird and took off for Konoha. Much to both his delight and shock, Tobi did in fact know where the village was. He didn't even bother questioning it.
"Nice job, Tobi." said Deidara as he searched for an area to land. "You're not full of bullshit after all!"
"I told you!" said Tobi happy to not suffer Deidara's wrath for once. After finding an area to land, Deidara put away his clay and headed towards the village when Tobi stopped him. "Wait, Deidara-senpai!"
"What now, Tobi?"
"I have an idea! I think you should dress up like a girl and..."
"Oh hell no!" said the bomber. "Just because I have long hair doesn't mean I look like a girl or could pass as one! YOU dress like a girl!"
"I'm too ugly!"
"YOU'RE...BULLSHIT! YOU JUST WANT TO LAUGH AT ME!"
"Come on Senpai!" begged Tobi. "It's simple. Just flirt with a shinobi here and get him to show you where Naruto lives or maybe just get him to show you around the area."
"And what are you going to be doing?" he asked crossing his arms.
"I'll follow you around and make sure to get you outta trouble if something happens." said Tobi.
Deidara glared at him for a while before sighing. "Fine, but the moment someone tries to kiss me, you're done for!"
"Yay! Now, let's gussy you up!" said Tobi then taking out a makeup kit and a dress. Deidara jumped back in pure and utter horror.
"Y-you...you...YOU FUCKING PLANNED THIS!"
"You already agreed." he reminded him cheerfully.
"After this mission, you're done for." he growled as Tobi went to work on him.