Open Road
XXXXXXX
The only sound to be heard in the quiet of the room was the incessant tac-tac-tac of Sam's pen as he tapped it on the table.
Various books were spread out in front of him, but Dean could see that his brother's attention was everywhere but on them, and the damn tapping was getting on his nerves.
He stretched out an arm and snagged Sam's wrist, causing Sam to look up in surprise.
"Dude; what's with the tapping? The stuff I'm trying to read here is already screwing with my mind; I don't really need Woody Woodpecker drilling a hole in my head too," he griped closing his own book.
X
Sam gazed at him as if he had just floated down from the ceiling, and not been sitting opposite him for the past hour.
"Dean... Um; I hadn't noticed you there," he said absent-mindedly, pulling back his hand.
Dean snorted, but didn't let go of his wrist.
X
"You didn't notice me, huh! I might not be as Sasquatch as you, but I'm not exactly a microbe. How could you not notice me? That book you weren't reading must have been very interesting."
Sam felt his face flush as he lied. "Yeah, yeah, it is."
"Uh, huh," Dean replied "It's so interesting that you've been staring into space as if a troupe of strippers was putting on a show for your eyes only!
You okay, Sam? Something going on that you want to share with the class?"
"No.. Dean. I was just day-dreaming."
X
Dean let go of his wrist and sat back. It was time to have a little chat with his brother.
Sam could talk the ears off a donkey, but when it came to things that really mattered, he was as close-mouthed as a clam.
It had to stop. There were only the two of them. They had each other's back. The time for keeping stuff from each other was over.
X
"Listen Sam," he began. "You've always been the touchy-feely one when it comes to sharing and caring, or at least you were, 'cos recently you've gone all quiet. I think it's time for us to be more open; stop hiding how we feel and confide more in each other We're no longer kids and I always know when you're mooning over something anyway, so why not just come out with it and save time?"
Sam dipped his head not wanting to meet Dean's eyes. His brother knew him too well.
Dean lowered his voice. "Whatever it is, you can tell me, Sammy. There's nothing you could say that would make me think less of you, ° or love you less, little brother ° he added silently. His chick-flick rule had been greatly compromised during the years, but he wasn't ready to be quite so open yet, maybe one day.
X
Sam huffed before answering. "It's nothing. You're making a mountain out of a molehill."
"Okay. Maybe, but if it's only that a swarm of mosquitoes bit you on the ass, I want to know; or don't you want to go with the honesty vibe?"
"No, Dean. I'm all for it. You've always been the one who pushes everything down and never wants to talk. We practically live in each other's pockets so there's not much we don't get anyway."
"Fine," Dean nodded folding his arms. "You've got my undivided attention, bro."
X
Sam cracked a half-smile, licking his bottom lip before answering.
"You remember how I always bitched about the life we led; forever on the move; crappy motel rooms; cold showers; sleeping cramped up in the Impala when we couldn't afford a room?"
He stole a glance at Dean and saw he was listening with interest.
"When I saw this place, the library, the whole Men Of Letters thing, I was over the moon; finally we had a place of our own, with every luxury we'd never dreamed of before….."
He hesitated, not wanting to continue.
"But…?" Dean prompted.
"I never thought I'd say this, but I miss our old life; you, me, the Impala, the open road, even your ear-splitting sing-along," he finished almost hanging his head in shame.
X
Whatever Dean had been expecting, it hadn't been this.
He had believed his brother was in geek heaven with all this stuff to explore, but clearly he didn't understand his brother as well as he had thought.
"You're serious, Sammy." Dean acknowledged, taken aback. "I coulda sworn you were happy here."
X
Sam shrugged, twirling his pen as if it was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen.
X
"So what you're telling me is you'd rather not have found out about the Men of Letter and the bunker? You know, just to be sure I'm getting it right here," Dean declared.
"That's exactly what I'm saying, Dean."
Sam threw open his arms as if to encompass the room. "All this has brought a ton of extra responsibilities with it. I dunno," he continued "We used to help people; save lives, put down monsters, but now it seems as if we spend most of our time in here. I'm beginning to feel it's becoming more of a prison than a home."
X
Sam caught Dean's eyes.
"I've never told you this straight out, but as we're going for honest then know that the Impala is my home; it's where I grew up; it's the only place I'm completely at ease; feel safe; the place where I sleep best.
Oh God; I'm sorry, Dean. I always ruin everything. You love it here; you've got your own room set out the way you always wanted. I'm just a whiney bitch." Sam pushed back his chair.
He felt like an ungrateful ass for having brought this up. He should have been contented with a place like this, yet here he was moaning about how he loved his old life when he used to bitch about that too.
X
He was about to make a bee-line for the bedroom, when a strong steady hand caught hold of his arm.
"Sammy, hey! Look at me!" Dean waited until his brother complied; the hazel eyes moist.
"Sometimes you can still surprise me even when I don't think there's anything more I don't know about you; and you'll probably keep surprising me until we breathe our last."
Sam just watched him, feeling like the biggest douche-bag on the planet.
"But you know what, I see it just like you. I miss the open road, my baby under my ass, you riding shotgun…"
"Really, Dean?" Sam gave him a watery smile.
"Really, Doofus" Dean repeated shaking his head.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Sam asked.
"Because I thought you loved it here, man," Dean declared with an unbelieving nod. "I wanted you to be happy, Sammy and I thought being here did."
"You should have still said something. You're my big brother. It works both ways. I want you to be happy too, for if there's anyone who deserves it, you do!" Sam assured him earnestly.
X
"Okaaay then. It's settled. Go get packed up Sammy, 'cos we're hitting the road."
"Whaat..? Just like that?"
"Just like that, Sasquatch," Dean confirmed, a weight seeming to lift from his shoulders. "So run along and get your stuff. My baby's been ignored long enough; nobody puts Baby in the corner! Swayze knew his stuff," he smirked.
Sam rolled his eyes but he could see that Dean was utterly serious. He really did want to get back on the road.
X
Half an hour later, they were packed up and ready to go.
Sam sighed contentedly as he folded himself into the passenger seat, his brother already behind the wheel.
"Did you lock the place up?" Dean asked as he revved up the engine.
"Yup," Sam answered throwing the key into the glove compartment.
"It was okay for a while being Men of Letters," Dean said. "But we're hunters, coarse rough apes as Henry called us; but you know what, I'm fine with that, Sammy. Sorry gramps but the Men of Letters just can't compare!"
X
"Oh Baby," Dean whispered lovingly. "It's gonna be fun; just you, me and Sammy from now on.
The car jumped forward and Dean could have sworn he heard a contented purr coming from the powerful engine as she roared off down the road, Highway to Hell blaring out of her speakers.
X
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