Welcome to my new series, Moments of Musketeers. These will be silly one-shot chapters featuring the cast of the animated Three Musketeers movie. Each chapter will focus on the misadventures of three couples - Goofy trying to help former villain Clarabelle adjust to the good life, Daisy lowering herself to commoner status for Donald's sake, and Princess Minnie's never-ending romantic romps with Mickey. True love is wonderful, but no one ever said it would be easy!

Here is the first 'chapter' of sorts to give you an idea of how it'll be. These will kind of be like my Disney Storybits, except focused primarily on this universe. Expect perverted gags and exaggerated characters for the sake of weird laughs. I'll be open to plenty of suggestions in the future.

In all his years dreaming of what his life would be like as a musketeer, Mickey never imagined he'd be doing something so scandalous. To be fair, if anyone had told him he would wind up the boyfriend of the princess, he would have laughed at their face before complimenting them on their creativity. Yet tonight, he stood in front of her majesty's bedroom doors, heart pounding against his ribs louder than the biggest drums. By all means, he should not have been there, nor should he go inside. But his princess had given him a direct order that day to guard the inside of her room when night fell, and who was he to disobey?

No doubt she had waited for the right moment to make such an order, and she seized upon it when her lady in waiting had told them she had to leave for a week for family affairs. Minnie was more than happy to provide Daisy with a royal carriage, and insisted Donald to go along for safety's sake. She wishes her companion the best of luck, and when the duck's back was turned, gave Mickey such a heated look that he was certain the candles had started to melt. Once Daisy had packed and left, Minnie ever so politely informed Mickey that with Daisy gone, she would be alone in her room while she did her nightly routines, and simply did not feel safe in this predicament. Therefore, she ordered him to stay the night in her room.

Stay the night… Even Mickey's honorable naivety had its limits, so he was certain what that entailed. Yet she couldn't possibly mean…! His princess was unconventional, that was for certain. She believed in fairness and equality for all, rarely acting like a superior to those around her. Instead of sending Clarabelle to jail with the other conspirators of the usurping plot, she had given the cow a job in the castle. Despite knowing three orphans had no training or credentials to guard her, she still allowed them to keep their duties. She enjoyed long walks in her garden and trips to the theater, much like any young maiden. Had anyone only looked at these matters, they would have known her as an innocent and pure girl…

… And then came her relationship to the commoner Mickey, and the terms 'innocent and pure' would start to stretch. For reasons Mickey still couldn't fathom, she came at this relationship with the burning intensity of a thousand suns. Whenever a moment presented itself, she would snatch him away for kisses and completely throw decorum out the window, along with his shirt. It wasn't that Mickey didn't enjoy the company, for he most certainly did, and some of his favorite moments as a musketeer were laying his head in her lap and watching clouds drift by. But he was her guardian, and she was royalty, and there were simply lines to keep in mind! Lines that, were the public to find out, would shock and upset the rest of the kingdom, and then there were the matters of the King and Queen…

But thinking these matters over wasn't going to help him open the doors. Swallowing his nervousness down with a heavy gulp, he knocked three times. "Princess?"

"Come in." She chirped, and Mickey took a quick moment to brace himself. He carefully opened the door, and stepped inside, startled by the sheer size of the room he entered. Why, they could have fit ten bedrooms from the orphanage in this single one! He whistled a note, impressed by the quality of fancy items strewn here and there. His eyes managed to find the princess sitting among a small table and brushing her hair in the mirror. He couldn't help but note that even her nightwear emphasized her adorability. Instead of a nightgown, as he had expected – not fantasized about, mind you, expected! – her nightwear had pants, and the entire thing was eye-catching pink. It showed off her petite figure, which she caught him looking at in the mirror. "Thank you for coming."

Caught, he cast his eyes away, laughing nervously. "Ha! W-well! Ya told me too, so… here I am."

She smiled, and resumed brushing the small bangs on her forehead. She then sighed, twirling the brush in her hand. "My hair takes forever to grow… it's so frustrating. Don't you think I'd look prettier with long, flowing hair, like Daisy has?"

Mickey shrugged his shoulders, not having moved from his spot at the doors. "I dunno… I think Daisy's hair on ya would look kinda funny. And I don't think she'd wanna share it." The small joke created chuckles for both of them, and Mickey relaxed. Perhaps he had been over thinking the situation. She just wanted some company, that was all. "Besides, I like ya the way ya are. That kinda hair… just fits ya, I guess. I don't think it has ta change at all."

It was a satisfactory answer, judging by Minnie's widening smile. She put down her brush and held her cheeks, feeling ten times prettier. "Mickey, you're so sweet. And you're right… Daisy's hair wouldn't suit me at all. I do hope she's having a good time. I miss her, but I am glad to have a little time apart." She picked up a small, thin book and a pencil, getting up from her chair. "I love her, I truly do, but she can be so stuffy when it comes to matters of the heart."

Mickey's feelings of nervousness began to return. Something about the way Minnie had worded that spelled trouble. "Aw, she's just lookin' out for ya."

"Of course, of course…" Minnie climbed up on her bed, sat with her pillows, and began writing something in what Mickey could only guess was a diary or something just as girly. "But she never would have let you in here, if she was around."

"… Well." Mickey wondered what she was writing about, and for a fleeting moment of insanity, believed she could have been writing down her plans of everything she planned to do to him this night. "…I am a guy… and yer a girl... people might think… ha ha…"

Minnie paused in her writing, and looked over at him. "… It's so hard to hear you from way over there. Why don't you come over here?" She pat an empty space to her side, giving him the same heated look that told him Daisy had been right to worry.

"… B-But bad guys could come in through here!" Mickey repeatedly poked the door behind him, trying to remind her of his duties. "I gotta protect ya and all…" Naturally he would love to do more than protect her, but there were lines! Decorum! The King mounting his head on the wall if he ever came back and found out all this! There were things a boy and a girl just did not do if they were not married, and he was a commoner, and she was royalty, and –

"Mickey." She spoke his name sweetly, tapping her pencil impatiently to her paper. "Am I going to have to order you to come here?"

There was not a doubt in his mind that she would do just that. He helplessly poked the door a few more times, unable to come up with a sound argument to defy her, and then relented, walking towards her bed. He stood next to her bed, hoping she wouldn't notice how badly he was shaking. Minnie calmly closed her diary, and handed it and the pencil over to him. "Would you please put these back on my desk?"

"Yes'm." So he did.

"And would you put out the lights?"

"Yes'm." So he did.

"Goodnight, Mickey."

"Goodnight, Princess." So he – wait, what? He looked back to the bed, and saw that her highness had already snuggled herself under the sheets, her head on her pillow. Confused, he walked back to her side, and saw her eyes closed. She was intent on sleeping. That… that was all? She never wanted anything else? Not even a goodnight kiss? He stood there, dumbfounded. What a silly mouse he had been, worrying over nothing! She really did just want company after all!

Instead of bringing relief, he slapped his hands on his face, because that meant all this worrying made him out to be some kind of devious pervert. He had been thinking of all the passionate moves she was going to pounce on him, but all she wanted was a friend to ease her to sleep. What an awful man he was! What a dirty boyfriend! He would apologize for thinking these things about her, but he would rather die than be so utterly mortified. His poor princess, having to deal with such a madman!

He paced the room, going back and forth over his guilt. He struggled to distract his over active mind, and he saw the diary out of the corner of his eye. She had just written her thoughts of this night down, hadn't she? Wouldn't that prove whether he was right or wrong? But, no, that was her diary! It was her precious, private sanctuary! He would be even worse than he already was if he dared to take a single peek! Yet he carefully glanced at his princess, who was resting ever so quietly. Biting his lip, he tip-toed over to the diary, telling himself he'd only look at one page. Maybe two. Three if the entry if was too long.

He took his time opening the diary, as if the slightest page ruffle would spring Minnie from slumber. He flipped to tonight's date, and his heart melted… even her writing was adorable, with traces of flowers and hearts in her handwriting. He shook his head in an effort to concentrate, and began to read.

The weather doesn't show any signs of changing, which means Daisy should have no problem getting back here. It's so strange not having her here… I have a difficult time remembering a time when she wasn't working for me. She's always been there for me, like a sister. I really am so blessed to have been born a princess… I'm rarely alone. Why, if I didn't have my new musketeers, this would have been my first night alone. I don't know how I would have handled it. I probably shouldn't think about it.

Mickey's finger gently slid down the page, able to hear Minnie say those words in his head. On some level, this could explain the princess's overwhelming kindness and stances on equality. Having people always around her, she always wanted to keep them happy, as she dreaded the thought of being alone. She was so delicate that the sheer thought of loneliness was to be avoided at all costs. Pride swelled up in Mickey's chest – he would do everything in his power to prevent her from ever feeling that way! She was always pulling him close for their embraces so she would have some company, any company at all. What a sweet and lovely girl, his princess, his darling.

Eager to learn more about her and her delicate sensibilities, he turned the page.

What I should think about are all the things I have in store for my Mickey tonight!

Uh-oh.

My handsome little musketeer is finally mine for one whole, full, long, night, and I plan to use every minute!

Oh boy.

He's just so irresistible when he's completely off his guard…

You know, he probably should have stopped reading at that point.

… So I'm laying the perfect trap for him. I wonder how long it will take for him to start reading this?

Mickey lifted his head, and slowly looked behind him. There was a yank, a yelp, a giggle, and once again, there went his shirt.