A/N: This is what sprung to mind immediately after watching episode 3x10, and begged to be written down.
Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize belongs to me.
Summary: A familial discussion ensues in the aftermath of 3x10, "Family Feud." Spoilers for that episode.
Tactics
Mel Burke settles on the couch and sips her second glass of wine, feeling her nerves slowly untangle with each cool mouthful that trickles down the back of her throat. It has been a long day, but it is one that she can take some pride in. She had refused money when it would have cost her her family, and all incriminating photos and possible blackmail material had been pulled off the Internet. At the moment, Lennox is sulking in her room, Ryder is crunching his way through his first bowl of cereal of the evening, and Mel is here.
She flips the TV on for a moment, stares at the screen blankly, and turns it off again, restless. The wine, which is helping with her nerves, can not calm them completely. She still has to talk to Lennox about earlier, and she knows the moment she lets him, Ryder will be clamoring for a gift certificate again.
Mel lets her head loll back against the couch. A headache was beginning to brew at her temples, and she wondered how single parents did it.
The opening and subsequent slamming of the front door remind her that she wasn't going it alone, thank God. Lifting her head, she sets her wineglass down on the coffee table and twists around, eyeing the man who just walked in.
Thanks to his strict exercise regime, Joe Longo strolls into the room like a man who has not just run several blocks. He isn't the least bit out of breath, and his brown eyes glow with the energy the run has given him. Not so different from any other day—except for the fact that he is in a shirt, tie, vest and nice slacks.
"Joe," Mel starts, worry pinching her brow and giving her headache new strength, "you didn't…?"
Joe gives her the smirk, a cat well pleased with the canary he's caught, and flops down beside her. "Chased the kid a couple of blocks, caught him by the collar, stuffed him in the car, and took him home. Gave him a good talking-to while I was at it." He fiddles with his rolled up shirtsleeves, and his dark eyes narrow at something she can't see. "Doesn't mean I don't still want to kill him."
Mel breathes a sigh of relief. Well, at least homicide won't be on the list of tonight's events. "God, Joe," she grumbles, leaning back again and closing her eyes, "I thought I was going to have to bust you out of jail!"
The man beside her snorts, his smirk softening into a grin. "Please. Like you'd ever bust me out of jail, Burke."
Mel opens one eye and stares at him, lips twisting in wry humor. "Like I'd want to try to run this circus without you."
Joe is caught in the blue of her gaze for a moment, and he has to wonder at her words. The rage that blinded him earlier tonight is starting to fade, his runner's high is slowly cooling in his blood, but he doesn't think the heightened awareness that ripples along his skin comes from either of those.
Grunting, he doesn't reply, instead reaching up to begin loosening his tie. Suddenly, with her warm eyes on him, he feels too warm, and he can't breathe. He desperately searches for something else to discuss.
"So, have you talked to Lennox yet?"
This seems to be a safe enough conversation piece; Mel sits up and reaches for her glass of wine, her irritation mounting. "No. She ran upstairs to sulk right after you charged out of here after Xander, moaning about how she was never going to talk to you again if you killed him." She shrugs. "I figured I'd let her cool off, let me cool off as well, and then we'd go talk to her."
Joe has taken off his tie by this point, and carefully folds it. Then he removes his vest as well, and finally settles back against the couch with a sigh. Mel turns her gaze to her wine, pretending that she wasn't just watching her nanny partially undress with way too much interest.
"What are we gonna do about these kids, Mel?" Joe's groan is an echo of what she's been asking herself for the last hour, while she waited and worried that she was going to get a call from the police station to come get him.
She raises her glass to him in a mock toast. "Gee, Longo, I was hoping you had some idea."
"Well," Joe growls, "the first thing I'm gonna do is padlock Lennox's door shut. And then make sure she never leaves the house again."
"And what," Mel demands, "feed her through a hole in the door? Joe, you can't lock her away just because she's having sex!"
"But things are so much easier when she's not!" Joe protests, reaching up to cover his face with his hands for a moment. The rest of his words are slightly muffled. "I don't have to worry about who she's with, or if she's going to come home pregnant, or if she's going to come home at all…"
The both fall silent, each contemplating their own teenage horrors, and Joe shudders and scrubs his face in his hands. Mel downs the rest of her wine glass and turns to give Joe a wry smile. "Welcome to parenthood?"
"This might not be too awful," Joe starts again, desperately searching for some hope he can cling to. "Lennox—"
"Is perfectly capable of thinking and speaking for herself."
The voice comes from behind them, and both Mel and Joe twist around to find Lennox glaring at them from the stairs. She lifts her chin, as haughty and arrogant as any wounded teenager feels the right to be. "Is Xander hurt?"
"Not for lack of trying," Joe growls under his breath, but Mel plants an elbow in his ribs, and he comes up with a more diplomatic answer. "No, Lennox, I took him home."
"Good." Only now does she deign to walk down the rest of the stairs and join them on the couch on the other side of Mel, holding her wounded pride wrapped around her like armor. Mel suspects that Xander was keeping her updated with a text play-by-play of his night, but knows that Lennox needs to hear it from Joe before she'll believe that her boyfriend isn't just lying to keep from incurring Joe's wrath again.
"Len, sweetie, we need to talk," Mel starts, but Lennox leans away as her aunt reaches forward to place a hand on her arm. Hurt, Mel draws back, but Joe's hand on her other gives her strength.
Lennox eyes them both warily. "I thought we talked. You gave me that stupid book, and gave me that stuttering plea to use condoms. I thought we had all this figured out last week!"
Her voice rises to a higher pitch as she starts to whine, and Mel flinches. It's Joe who comes to her rescue. "Lennox, we just want you to be safe."
"We are being safe," Lennox insists, clearly repressing the urge to roll her eyes for their sake. "God, I took sex-ed. I'm not an idiot."
"I know, sweetie," Mel says soothingly, "but you have to understand. Sex is a big deal when you're young. It's new and exciting, and you want to do it all the time."
The strangled noise that comes from Joe's throat reminds her that she doesn't want to sound like she's endorsing this. "We're glad you're being safe, Lennox, we are, but I don't know how comfortable I am with you and Xander being here alone during the day."
"So you'd rather they do it at night, while you're a few rooms away? Does this mean its okay to do it if you're here?" This from Ryder, who is leaning against the door jamb from the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest, smirking.
"No," Joe snaps, looking ready to jump up and hunt Xander down, his anger now starting to boil under the surface again, and this time it is Mel who lays a hand on his arm.
"Ryder," she sighs, frowning at him. Beside her, Lennox is glaring. Grinning in the face of their annoyance, Ryder wanders over and plops himself in the armchair nearest Joe, but not before making sure he is well out of arm's reach. Confident in his relative safety, he waves a magnanimous hand in their general direction.
"Please, continue. I'm riveted."
Joe glares, Mel rolls her eyes, and Lennox sticks her tongue out at him. As one, they turn to each other, deciding to ignore him and get back to the topic at hand.
Lennox doesn't hesitate in picking up where she left off. "So, I can't have my boyfriend over to have sex, but you guys can have people over to do just that whenever you want? Aunt Mel, you have guys over all the time!"
Her aunt squirms at that, and beside her, Joe stiffens, sensing that the conversation is about to go in a direction that they don't want it to go, and that they are starting to lose control of the situation.
"And you, Joe! How many girls have we seen over here? You guys don't seem to care about parading your girlfriends and boyfriends through here in front of me and Ryder, but suddenly, the first time I do it, it's wrong?" She huffs out a breath, glaring at them both. "Hypocrites. So, what, do I need to rent a motel room now?"
"Please, God, no." Joe mutters. Lennox glares at them. Her aunt is studiously avoiding her gaze, her cheeks pink with shame, while Joe stares stonily at the kitchen door. Ryder, meanwhile, continues to grin like he's watching the greatest show he's ever seen.
"Perhaps we haven't set the best example," Mel breaks the silence that shrouds them hesitantly. Joe gives her an encouraging smile, and she straightens, blue eyes flashing. She's trained in politics—a conversation rarely gets away from her! (Well, maybe it does more often than she would like. Whatever.) "But we're adults, sweetie, and we make those decisions knowing the consequences. You and Xander are young."
It's the wrong thing to say. Lennox's nostrils flare, and her dark eyes get colder. "Are you saying that we're too immature?"
"I would say that," Ryder volunteers, his eyes dancing. Mel throws a pillow at him.
It's Joe who finally rescues the conversation. "Lennox. You're a young lady who I'm sure, knows what she wants. While that makes me a little uncomfortable," he fidgets, pulls at his collar, and again looks like he wants to vomit or panic or maybe a little bit of both, "as long as we have your word that you and Xander are safe, and your aunt and I don't, uh, see anything we aren't meant—don't want—to see," he shudders, "then your choices are your own."
Lennox calms visibly at that, and she even unthaws enough to smile at them. "Thanks, Joe."
"But I swear," Joe warns, his voice rough, "if you come home pregnant, that boy is dead."
At this, the tension in the room finally breaks, and Lennox giggles and shakes her head, well-used to Joe's protective streak. Getting up, she hugs her aunt and then surprises everyone by leaning down to kiss Joe gently on the cheek. He turns wondering eyes up to her, a soft smile touching his lips, and Lennox returns it. "Thanks."
With that, she bounces up the stairs. Just before she disappears, they can all hear the distinctive click-click of her phone's keyboard. Mel leans back and sighs. "She's probably telling Xander it's safe to come over now."
"Well, that was anticlimactic," Ryder grumbles, getting up from his chair and heading back towards the kitchen for another snack. "I was hoping for some yelling, maybe a few privileges taken away or an old-fashioned grounding. What a letdown." At the door, he stops and glances over his shoulder at his two guardians. "Can I have a gift card for being the only child in this house without major problems?"
A pillow slamming into his back is the only answer. "You got smoked pot and got suspended from school," Joe deadpans. "Get out." Grumbling, Ryder obeys.
The moment the door swings shut behind him, Mel slumps back against the couch and eyes her empty wine glass with dismay. "Ugh. Longo, why do people have kids?"
Joe chuckles, and jostles her shoulder with his in a friendly bump. "Hey, I thought you said you wanted kids someday."
"Yeah, little kids!" Mel protests. "Little kids with cute noses and sticky fingers and…not all these problems."
A wry chuckle greets this statement. "I hate to break it to you, Burke, but those cute little kids grow up to be big kids like ours who have these problems."
Mel moans and closes her eyes again. Her headache is back. Then a thought occurs to her, and she sits up, turning towards Joe. "How come you were suddenly okay with Lennox and Xander having sex?" She demands, ignoring his grimace at the word sex. "Last week you wanted me to tell her that sex was bad, you wanted to know if Forever 21 sold chastity belts, just two hours ago you were ready to kill Xander for lying to us and living here so he could have more time with Lennox, and now you're okay with this? What gives, Longo?"
Joe shakes his head, but he doesn't interrupt her tirade. Only when she is done and slightly out of breath does he speak. "Mel, I'm still not okay with this."
She stares at him, brow furrowed. "Clearly, otherwise you wouldn't flinch or look ready to punch something every time I mention that Lennox and Xander are having sex." Joe glares at her. "Oh, please, Longo, like I'm scared of you."
"I'm not okay with this," Joe repeats, still glaring, "but what's better, Mel? Lennox off having sex God-knows-where, doing God-knows-what, or knowing she's having sex here, in our house, where we can keep an eye on her and limit how much Xander sees her?"
Mel tilts her head, considering his words. Either the wine has gone to her head faster than usual, or… "Joe, that actually made sense."
He smirks at her, full of that Longo ego. "I know. I always do."
Now it's her turn to bump his shoulder with hers, and they share the commiserating and bonding grins that come from two people weathering a situation—or in their case, many—like this together.
They're sitting a little too close together, Mel's had a little too much wine, and there have been too many emotions involved tonight. They lean forward, and Mel is fixated on Joe's dark eyes, eyes she has seen so many times she is sure she will never be able to completely forget them, is not sure she wants to. They are so close, warm breath mingling, and then together they catch themselves and hurriedly draw away.
They both stand in the same instant, awkwardly, glancing at each other and then away, unsure of what to do.
Joe speaks first. "Uh, I'm gonna head to bed, Burke. Chasing that kid down took more energy than I thought."
"Getting old, Longo?" Mel teases, grateful for such an easy line to latch onto.
"As if," he scoffs, and moves towards the kitchen. "I'll just get rid of Ryder and then clean up."
Mel nods and turns towards the stairs, but then turns back a second later. "Joe?"
He pauses at the kitchen door to look back at her. "Yeah?"
She thinks about how much harder tonight would have been if she had to face it alone. She's not sure she would have been able to make it through such a delicate conversation with Lennox without Joe there for support. She's come to depend on him for so much, and for some reason, in that moment, she doesn't mind admitting it to herself.
Mel blames the wine for the next words out of her mouth. "Thanks for all your help, Joe. I couldn't do it without you."
For a moment, he stares at her, clearly startled. She braces herself for some cutting remark, some teasing, gloating statement about how he is so essential to her life. (He is, but don't tell him that!)
She gets neither. Joe gives her a gentle smile, his dark eyes warm. "Anytime, Mel."
A/N: Thoughts?
