I've already done a Regina and Snow story but I couldn't resist having another go after "The Evil Queen". I hope you enjoy it!
Snow threw up yet again over the side of the ship and David rubbed her back as tears rolled down her face.
"I don't understand," she said quietly, as David handed her a glass of fresh water. "I've never been sea sick in my life. I love boats!"
David shrugged sadly, wishing he had an explanation for his wife's pain. "Maybe it's just because you haven't been on a boat in a while?"
Regina, stood to the side as she watched this exchange, was confused. She could vouch for Snow's strong stomach when it came to boats. She had accompanied the king and the young princess on many a sea voyage to the outlying areas of the kingdom and, while both Regina and Leopold had been horribly ill every time, Snow had delighted in running across the deck and talking with the sailors and had never seemed affected by even the roughest of waters.
Before Regina could think too much into it however, her own nausea overwhelmed her and she threw herself against the side of the ship as she was sick. To her surprise, when she finally lifted her head again, it was to see David stood with a glass of water behind her.
"Here," he said, offering it to her. "How are you feeling?"
Regina didn't answer and looked suspiciously at the glass of water.
"It's not poisoned," David assured her, but then his voice took on a darker edge. "That's more your style."
Regina grimaced. "Why are you being nice to me?" she asked, still refusing to take the water.
David glared slightly. "I don't like you and I don't trust you Regina, but that doesn't mean that I enjoy watching you suffer. Take the water. It will make you feel better."
Regina took the glass from him and took a sip before smiling slightly, "Thank you David."
He nodded. "Snow's gone below deck. I think it would be best for you to join her. Lying down will settle your stomach."
Regina grimaced again. "Snow and I in an enclosed space together? I'm not sure that's a good idea. Aren't you worried I'll hurt her?"
David raised an eyebrow. "Will you?"
Regina sighed, "No, I won't."
"Well, she certainly won't hurt you so there's nothing to worry about." Regina was unconvinced, but she couldn't deny that lying down seemed an attractive option right now so she headed across the deck towards the cabin.
Before she'd managed three steps, she stumbled as she was far from finding her sea legs; a task that was only hindered by the high heels she still insisted on wearing. David caught hold of her before she hit the deck and pulled her back onto her feet.
"Here, let me help you." With Regina leaning against David, they began to make their way towards the steps leading below deck.
Regina smiled slightly as he helped her down the stairs. "Thank you."
David nodded and opened the door to the cabin.
"Charming?" Snow said weakly,turning over on her bunk. "Oh, hello Regina. How are you?"
Regina couldn't manage anything beyond a groan as she collapsed onto the other bunk and Snow looked at her concerned.
"She'll be okay," David assured her, sitting by his wife's bed and brushing her hair off of her face. "Try and get some sleep, darling. You'll feel better." He paused for a moment before leaning down to whisper softly in her ear. Are you going to be okay here with Regina?"
For all that David might have said that there was nothing to worry about, he couldn't help the concern that he felt leaving his wife with a woman who had tried to hurt her so many times.
"We'll be fine Charming," Snow promised him. "Now go on, get out. You need to look after Emma for me."
David looked at his wife and her step-mother again, still not comfortable with the arrangement, but Snow's reminder of their daughter, who had lost both her son and a man she loved in a matter of hours, swayed his concern and so he reluctantly left Snow and Regina alone.
They lay on their bunks in silence for a few minutes and Snow was close to sleep when Regina spoke.
"You never got sea sick."
Snow was quiet for a moment, surprised that her step-mother had broken the silence, before she replied. "I know. I don't understand it."
There were a few more moments of silence.
"I'm sorry," Snow said.
Regina raised her eyebrows as she turned to look at her step-daughter. "What for?"
Snow looked over at Regina, their faces close together in the cramped cabin, as she considered her answer. There were a thousand things she wanted to apologise for but she felt too sick to sort them out in her head.
"For not being more sympathetic when you were sea sick. I thought you were overreacting. I never realised it was so horrible."
Regina looked slightly confused, but then she sighed. "It's fine, don't apologise. You were only a child, what were you supposed to do?"
Snow raised her eyebrows at this response. "Oh of course, because being a child more than excuses that."
"Snow White!" Regina snapped, rubbing a hand across her flushed brow. "Stop that. I'm too sick to argue with you."
To Regina's intense surprise, Snow began to chuckle. "What?" She asked, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "What on earth is funny?"
"Oh, nothing," Snow replied, straightening her face. "It's just, well," the woman sighed as she tailed off.
"Just what?"
"It's just been a long time since you've spoken to me like that. Scolded me, I mean. Almost like you were my mother."
"Step-mother," Regina corrected automatically.
"Step-mother," Snow agreed, but then she sighed and a small smile came to her face. "I loved you like you were my mother though."
"Snow," Regina groaned. "Snow, I'm sick. Please can we not do this now."
Snow almost agreed, but then she shook her head. "If we don't do it now, when will we do it Regina? You'll just ignore it and avoid me. We've gone fifty years without talking things through. It's time we talked."
"Snow!" Regina snapped again as she sat up too quickly, banging her head against a low beam.
"Ouch," she exclaimed, bringing her hand up to hold her injury.
Turning to her step-daughter again, she noticed that the woman was wincing and holding her head in the same place as she was. Regina frowned in confusion. "What's going on?" she asked suspiciously. "That happened earlier as well, when I banged my knee against the table and yours started to hurt at exactly the same time."
Snow sat up too and frowned. "I. . .I don't know." She gasped as a sudden realisation hit her. "Unless. . .unless. . ."
"Unless what?" Regina asked in bewilderment.
"Maybe that's why I'm feeling sea sick," Snow muttered.
"Maybe what's why?" Regina exclaimed exasperatedly.
Snow frowned at her for another moment before reaching over and striking her step-mother across the face.
"Snow White!" Regina exclaimed again. "What the hell was that?"
Snow gently brushed her fingers against her own cheek.
"That hurt," she whispered fearfully, and Regina's eyes widened.
"What?" she breathed
Snow pinched herself sharply and, immediately, Regina hissed and grabbed her own arm. Their eyes met across the cabin.
"What is going on?" Regina asked.
"The potion," Snow responded dejectedly.
"Potion? What potion?" Regina questioned, before a hint of anger came to her voice. "Snow! Please tell me you haven't been messing around with magic; you know how dangerous that is! What have you done?"
"I was trying to find you," Snow explained and Regina furrowed her brow.
"What?"
"When you were kidnapped by Greg and Tamara," she clarified. "We were trying to find you so we went to Rumple and he gave us a potion."
"A potion?" Regina repeated. "What kind of a potion?"
"A potion that connected me to you so that we could find out where you were."
"Connect you to me how?"
"So I'd see what you saw and feel what you felt. Obviously the last part hasn't quite worn off yet."
"See what I. . .Feel what I. . ." Regina murmured, trying to make sense of it all. Suddenly, realisation dawned on her and her eyes widened. "You took that when I was kidnapped? When I was-" Regina stopped, unable to even say the word 'tortured'.
Snow nodded, tears beginning to run down her face as she recalled the excruciating pain they'd both endured.
"Of all the stupid, stupid-" Regina muttered, shaking her head. "How strong was the connection?"
Snow opened her mouth to respond but Regina held up a hand to stop her. "No, don't answer that. It must have been strong if we're feeling each others pain even now."
Regina turned completely towards Snow, placing her feet on the floor and leaning against the cabin wall as she regarded her step-daughter with a mixture of shock and confusion.
"They almost killed me, Snow," she said quietly. "They easily could have killed me. If the connection was that strong-" Regina tailed off and shook her head again. "Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?"
Snow didn't respond and looked away as more tears began to stream down her cheeks. Regina leant forwards and took Snow's shoulders in her hands.
"You could have been killed! How could you be so stupid?"
"I was trying to save you," Snow protested in a small voice.
Regina looked at Snow, her pained eyes and tear stained face, and, for a moment, all she could see was the small child that Snow had once been. She remembered that once, Snow had climbed a tree outside of the palace and fallen out. It surprised Regina to realise that her words of admonishment had been almost identical. It surprised her even more to realise that, both times, she'd felt an involuntary jolt of terror at the idea of Snow White being so badly hurt.
"I've been trying to kill you for years," Regina said, arguing against both Snow's attempt to save her and her own fear for her step-daughter.
To her confusion, Snow laughed slightly.
"Well, you haven't really tried very hard, have you?"
"I beg your pardon," Regina contested angrily. "I spent years trying to track you down. I had my best soldiers scouring the forest. I tried very hard to kill you."
Snow smiled again. "Sure, but we lived together for ten years and you didn't try to kill me. And when I was first in the forest, I'd gone from being a princess used to living in a castle with servants to wait on my every need to being completely alone. I got much better at evading you later, but if you'd really wanted to find me, I think that you would have succeeded. Hell Regina, when you were disguised as a peasant, I armed you myself and then turned my back on you."
"You'd confused me," Regina glared. "With all that talk about how I'd saved you, how you wished that I would. . . I'd assumed that you hated me as much as I hated you."
Snow looked down and shrugged.
"Did you mean it? What you said that day?" Regina questioned after a moment.
Snow smiled. "With all my heart. Would you have-? If we hadn't come to that village. . ."
Regina grimaced at the reminder of her past evils. "That day was the first time in many years that I had any hope. I had pursued vengeance for a very long time but I began to realise that there was something I wanted far more. I wanted love. I wanted the people to love me and I thought you were the evil one and that if you were gone, they would see my kindness. But then when you were there, actually there right in front of me, I couldn't do it. It was an opportunity that was more perfect than I had ever imagined I might be granted but. . . I couldn't."
Tears came to Regina's eyes as she recalled the day that she had almost managed to reconcile with Snow. "I thought you were evil. I blamed everything that I had ever suffered on you. But then you said all those things. That you believed there was good in me, that you'd forgive me if I wanted to change. For a moment, I really believed that there was hope for us. You said you'd love to be a family again and I wanted that. I had never considered the possibility, but when it was there in front of me. . . There was a moment, just before we came to that village, when my head was full of dreams, how it had been before Daniel;before Leopold. I imagined that I would tell you who I was and then I would bring you back to the palace and, because the people loved you, if they saw you forgive me and love me, maybe they'd be able to as well. I imagined that, though it wouldn't be the same as Daniel, it would be good. I would be good. Then you pulled that bow on me, and I saw all those dreams shatter and I blamed you again. It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I should never have had those people killed."
"No, you shouldn't have." There was really no more that Snow could say to that. "But, I didn't mean what I said, not really. I was just. . .shocked. For all you'd done, I had never imagined that you were capable of something so awful. But that day, when I was a little girl and you saved me from that horse, there was good in you and I really do believe that there still is."
"Do you know why I adopted Henry?"
Snow frowned, confused by the sudden change in the conversation. "No, I don't."
"I wanted to be a mother. I wanted love and I knew that the love of a child was the strongest love imaginable. So I tried with Owen, but he only wanted his father so he ran from me and now he's come back and tried to kill me. Then I tried with Henry, but he only wanted you and Emma so he hates me. The one child who truly wanted me was you. And I threw away every chance of having your love and being your mother."
Snow got up, walked the few steps that separated their bunks and sat down beside her.
"You're wrong, Regina," Snow said. "The love of a child for a good mother is unconditional. Henry doesn't hate you, nothing that you can do can change the ten years that you were a good mother to him; any more that it can change the ten years that, façade or not, you were a good mother to me."
Regina looked at Snow, confusion in her eyes again. "I was fully prepared to kill you yesterday."
"Yes, but you saved us all yesterday and risked your own life to do so. I told you that there was good in you Regina," Snow smiled at her. "Yesterday, you looked far more like the woman who saved me than you did the Evil Queen."
A flicker of a smile was apparent on Regina's face for a moment, but then it disappeared and she frowned again. "One good thing doesn't make up for everything else."
"Maybe not, but its a start and you have the rest of your life ahead of you to do good things. I understand why you did the things that you did before, but maybe now you can change."
"You understand?" Regina asked incredulously. "No one is that understanding."
"But I do understand. You lost your love, and love. . .love isn't just about another person, it's a part of you and if you lose the person that you love, you lose so much of yourself as well. I took a potion once that made me forget that I loved David. But I didn't just lose my love, I lost everything that was good about me. I was awful. I. . .I tried to kill you."
"You did?" Regina asked in surprise.
"Yes, I did, but David stopped me. He reminded me of who I was, and that wasn't a murderer. But you. . .you didn't have that. You lost your true love and then you were forced into a marriage to a man so much older than you and. . . I didn't realise at the time because I had no concept of true love, the kind of love that you and Daniel shared. My mother was my father's true love, and he married after her death so that I would have a mother, not so that he would have a wife. It wasn't until I found David that I realised how much it must have hurt you, for so many years, to be with someone you didn't love and who didn't love you. You didn't have anyone to remind you of who you were and I wish. . .I wish I hadn't been so naïve and so stupid. I wish I'd realised how much you were hurting. I don't think it excuses everything you've done, but I do understand."
Regina nodded, tears filling her eyes again. "It felt like almost everything good in me died in that stable with Daniel and the rest was eroded in a marriage that I wanted no part of."
"I know. And I honestly wish that I'd understood sooner. That maybe I could have tried to help you. I can't imagine being trapped in a loveless marriage, a loveless life."
Tears filled Snow's eyes as well and, without even really thinking it through, she reached out and took her step-mother's hand.
Regina jumped at the contact, but after a moment regained her composure. She looked down at the small pale hand in her own and sighed.
"It was a loveless marriage, yes, but it should not have been a loveless life. You loved me and, before I allowed myself to become so twisted, I loved you."
Snow smiled at her step-mother and squeezed her hand gently. "I know he's not Daniel and it's not the same as the magic of true love, but Henry does love you and I know you love him, so we will find him and then you will have someone to remind you of who you truly are; Regina, and not the Evil Queen."
"Yes," Regina said with a small smile. "I suppose I will."
At that moment, the ship hit a patch of rough waters and the seasickness that had been almost forgotten in the swirl of emotions came suddenly back to both women with a vengeance.
"Gods Regina!" Snow moaned as she shut her eyes and lay down on the bunk.
Regina looked across the cabin to Snow's own bed and decided to lay down there as there was barely enough room for two on the narrow bunk and she was sure that it would be made even more uncomfortable by the fact that it was Snow White who was taking up more than half of the space on her bed.
However, a sudden high wave took the decision from Regina's hands as her stomach turned somersaults and she began to feel dizzy to an extent where she could barely sit up, let alone stand, and so collapsed down onto the pillow.
"Magic always comes with a price," she reminded her step-daughter.
Snow merely groaned as she tossed slightly in the bed trying to get into a comfortable position.
"Do you mind?" Regina complained as she shut her eyes tightly and tried to ignore the rocking motion of the ship. "Stop kicking me!"
"Sorry," Snow apologised weakly as she lay still.
They lay side by side for a few minutes until Snow turned over and ended up with her head resting on Regina's shoulder.
Regina stiffened and her eyes snapped open. Her first thought was to push her away, but it was less uncomfortable than it should have been to have the girl who had been her arch-nemesis for half a century cuddled up against her and it gave her some more space in the bed so she left Snow where she was and shut her eyes again.
"You smell the same," Snow murmured, half-asleep.
"What?"
"You smell the same as you did when I was little. Like rosewater and peppermint. You remember that I used to have bad dreams and I'd come and climb into your bed? When the candles were blown out and my eyes were shut so I couldn't see you, it was that smell that let me know that you were there. It used to make me feel safe, comforted, loved. Rosewater and peppermint. . .it smelt like home."
Tears gathered in Regina's eyes and she put an arm around her step-daughter's shoulders.
"I'm sorry," she whispered softly.
"It'll be okay."
Snow didn't know what Regina was apologising for, and she didn't ask. There were so many things for which they both needed forgiveness but, though she was glad that they'd had a conversation that they'd avoided for so long, Snow didn't have the energy to go through everything and she doubted that Regina did either. She was sure that everything would be okay, but for now, all she wanted to do was sleep. And so she drifted off, curled into her step-mother's side for the first time in many years, surrounded by the comforting aroma of rosewater and peppermint.
If you enjoyed this, and even if you didn't, please leave a review!