The Royal Person of the Shiny Object I, The People of the Shiny Thing
Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR
Everything was very dark, and then random pictures came into view. A funky voice began to blast out from nowhere.
"This is the history of a bunch of shiny objects and the One Plain Gold Shiny Object that was shinier than all the rest. The shiny objects were rings. These rings were powerful, there by deriving the word 'Ring of Power'. Some rings were given to the elves. They're pretty! Some rings were given to the Dwarves, (and Snow White too!) Some rings were given to men, who above all desire television and internet chat-rooms. Still others were chucked at random to anyone who might like them. But they were all deceived! A great ring –shinier than all the others- was forged by the not-so-sweet-and-kind guy, Sauron the Destroyer!"
Lights flash, and a loud bell rings out.
"One by one the peoples of in-between land fell to the power of the one shiny ring."
"It's soooooo pretty!" cry a bunch of people.
"But then," the funky elvish narrator continued, "a last alliance between elves and men was formed, and they really began to kick butt! But Sauron came and stared lobbing off head left and right! It didn't look too hot for the last alliance! But, it all was ok, because some guy with a weird name cut Sauron's wittle pinky off! That caused the not-so-sweet-and-kind guy to fall apart like a tower of blocks, who knew! The dude with the weird name was given a chance to destroy evil forever!"
Elrond cries, "Cast it into the fires of the great and terrible mountain of doom, Mount Doom!"
"Nah."
"But the ring betrayed the dude with the weird name, and he was shot with arrows! Ouch! The ring was found by the creature Gollum, and that was were it would be today if fatty over here hadn't stolen it!"
"Hey!" Bilbo exclaims.
"And things passed into myth. And um, that's all I had to say."
"Can we get going now?" asks Frodo.
"Uh, no. This is the intro. You can pop in when the story starts."
"When is that?" Sam demands.
"When the authoress decides to write more."
Frodo questions, "When is that?"
"Uh, I dunno. She has a short attention span, and you know she's a little…. How do I say this…. Lazy?"
"That fits her." Pippin remarks.
So, this is stupid? Funny? Great? Lame? It will get better as soon as I decide to stop being lazy and write on it. Do review, it makes me happy, (though it won't necessarily make me go faster or change anything.) Criticism accepted with welcome and cheer, blatant flames accepted like a swift kick in the gut. Flattery accepted like an overly-rich cake. Eww. LOL. Well, be prepared, there's going to be a lot more characters in this fic than in LOTR, and they're all from different stories! Ta-ta!