This story is set 8 years after graduating high school. This is from Emily's POV, and will be unless stated otherwise. So enjoy!
I jolt awake and check my watch. 3 am. Shit. I've only gotten 2 hours of sleep. I look around the room, and to my surprise, I see everyone is sleeping. I slowly get up, making sure not to wake anyone, and start gathering my things I'll need for the day. This day is going to be long. Too long. I'll be able to go to my spot for a few more hours though, and for that I am grateful. As I trek my way through the tent, and to the building that I have claimed as my relaxation, I can't erase the feeling of being lost. I know where I'm going. I've walked this path everyday. For 7 years. I know that I'm not 100% anymore. I think only I know this. I hope that it doesn't show, I would have nothing left. I lost my family. My friends. I even managed to fuck things up with Ali. Can't say I'm not surprised. After my dad died it was really my mom and I against the world. She wasn't happy when I told her that I enlisted, but she accepted that over time. Enlisting sobered me up, but it didn't make everything better like I thought it would. Ali hated my decision, and I didn't really give her a say in it. We kept in contact through letters, and I would go back to Rosewood on my leave time. 5 years ago my mom got in an accident and didn't make it. The night she passed was rough for me. I hadn't drank in years, and surely the absence of my alcohol made my mom happy and Alison was ecstatic. That night I had turned to my old friend, and I knew it was wrong. What else could I have done? Ali came home that night and found me. I was hammered, and I'm sure she could smell the alcohol on me as soon as she walked in the door. She was pissed. She was beyond pissed. I can still picture her face when she walked in the house that night. She started lecturing me, not yelling, but still lecturing. I snapped. We got in a huge fight, and I left. I left. I hate myself that I left. Why? Why couldn't I just talk to her? She could understand what I was going through. I was so embarrassed. I haven't returned any of her letters, or Hanna's. I haven't gone back to Rosewood since that night.
As I reach the doorway to the building, I felt like I was being watched. It was just an uneasy feeling. I turned to look behind me, making sure that none of my troops had followed me here. Thank god no one knows I come here everyday. They surely would denote me from lieutenant. I worked hard to get where I was today. I had to push back my friends out of my mind everyday. I think what really got me to lieutenant was because I took risks. I didn't care if I died anymore. I had no one to go home too. I had no one worrying about me. That's not true. My friends still care. They still send me letters. I get roughly 1 a month. Besides Ali. She sends me 4. I make my way to the open window on the 5th floor of the building. It overlooks our whole base. Our squad doesn't use this building because they deemed it unsafe. I see their point. Lots of broken bricks lay on the ground. As I sit down on the ledge, I grab for the note in my pocket that lay above my heart. I read this thing every damn day. I can't help it. I haven't revised it since we broke up. It has been changed since I got into the army.
"Dear Ali,
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't even describe how sorry I am. I left when I should've stayed. I couldn't face you after the fact that I had been so stupid. I threw everything we had away. Over absolutely nothing. I think about you everyday. About us everyday. With all the time that I have, I haven't figured out a way to fix it. I can't reply to your letters. Hell, I can't even read them. They've been sitting in a box under my bed. I never wanted this to happen. You were finally able to love me, trust me, and hold me like I always wanted you to. I threw it away like you were last weeks newspaper. Your not last weeks newspaper Ali. You are soooo much more than that. I hope you've been able to move on, and find someone who sees you. I mean really sees you. Not just how beautiful you are. But how beautiful you love. How every morning you'd ask how I slept. How you'd make me smile, even when I wanted to cry. How you made me feel, I've never felt that way in my entire life. The way your eyes lit up every time I saw you. I bet you didn't know your eyes even did that. But I did. I still wear the ring you got me for Christmas, although it has moved from my hand to a necklace, it's still there. I hope that you can move on after this, if you haven't already, because you deserve to be happy. Hell, you deserve the world. I never stopped loving you.
-Emily"
Each day it had gotten a little easier to read. I folded the letter up, and put it back in the reserved pocket. I leaned my head against the stoned wall and closed my eyes. I never want her to receive that letter. It'll probably kill her on the inside. It hurts me everyday. I've been living with it next to my heart for the past 5 years, and it still hurts me. I've always thought about ripping it up and writing a new one. But what would I say? "Hey I'm dead. You can be extra happy now". No. It's too hard. This is all too hard. I open my eyes and look at the fading stars. I twirled the ring in my fingers. I always loved watching the stars with Ali. She always payed her head on my chest, never watched the stars, but she was always there. I have to stop thinking about her. If I don't, I'm going to get myself killed and she will be forced to receive that letter. I rub my forehead and check my watch again. It's already 4:45. Wake up time was 5:30, so I usually walked back at 5.
As I prepare myself to leave. I take one last look out the window. I notice something. A light. My heart skips a beat, I don't even know why. But once I realize what the light is, it's too late.