Disclaimer: If I made any money off of this, I would be a very happy camper. I just have to settle for the cheap thrills that writing fanfic offers.
Author's Note: Takes place right after "Greeks Bearing Gifts" and before "They Keep Killing Suzie."
The stuff I learned about coffee comes from my friend who actually roasts his own beans at home. He makes the best coffee that I've ever tasted, and it never needs milk or sugar.
Warning: Completely gratuitous use of swear words.
Cupp(l)ing
Ianto sprays the counter of the tourist office with cleaning solvent and wipes it clean when Jack enters from the hub. The two men smile awkwardly at each other.
"Did you need anything, sir?" Ianto hopes that he isn't up there to check up on him again. Since Lisa died and since the incident with the cannibals, Jack's concern for his well-being borders on the pathological. Every day, there was a pat on the back and a compliment about his work. Every day, there was that expression on the Captain's face that looked a lot like pity. And there were occasional dinners for just the two of them where Jack would try to play therapist and get him to talk. However, Ianto would rather just get on with his work, and sometimes, he even prefers the unfeeling Captain who never asked him any questions.
"No, things are pretty tense down there. I just needed a breather," Jack replies.
"Did Owen say something rude to Toshiko?"
"Gwen is doing her best to keep him on a short leash, and he's keeping his comments to himself. But he still has that scowl on his face every time he looks at her."
"The next time Tosh saves his skin, I'm sure that he'll get over it."
"Is that all it takes?" Jack asks, looking deep into Ianto's eyes.
The two men fall silent. At that moment, the younger man would wager that the tension down in the hub was no match for the tension between the two men at this moment.
Ianto begins to straighten up once again, but Jack, lacking anything to do, says, "I should get back-"
The door flies open, and a casually-dressed, twenty-something man sporting a soul patch walks into the tourist office carrying a box. "What's up, motherfucker?" he asks in a loud American accent. He slams the box on the counter and gives Ianto a high five.
Jack raises an eyebrow in shock that anyone would greet Ianto in that fashion without getting a lecture in etiquette. "Do you greet all your customers that way?"
"Oh, shit, you've got tourist," the delivery guy says with a laugh.
"Actually, Eric, that's my boss," Ianto replies.
"No offense, dude, but what's an American doing as the head of Welsh tourist office?"
The Welshman chuckles. "Now there's a good question,"
The Captain interrupts. "Is there anything I need to sign?"
"Yeah, put your John Hancock right here," Eric says, handing him an invoice.
Ianto opens the box and pulls out a bag of coffee. The closes his eyes and savors the scent of the beans.
"Kenyan Double A… just like last week. Hey, if you're interested, you can always come by the shop for a cupping. I've noticed you've been in kind of a rut, and I was thinking maybe this is what you need to get out of it."
"I like my Kenyan coffee."
"Dude, cupping rocks. You need to come," Eric says. "Who knows? Maybe you'll find something new to love."
"I'll try."
The delivery guy hands Ianto his receipt and gives the two men a peace sign. "Later, man!"
When he leaves, Jack starts snickering. "Is he always like that?"
"Yes, but he knows his shit." the Welshman gestures quotation marks when he says the curse word.
"What's is a cupping?"
"A cupping is just like a wine tasting with coffee for real aficionados," Ianto replies.
"Like you," Jack says warmly.
"Well, maybe I wouldn't go that far, but I try not to serve swill."
"You know, before you, all we had was a kettle and a jar of instant."
"And you lived to tell the tale," Ianto responds, shaking his head.
"That's why we need you. You are saving our skins one cup at a time."
"Now how would one phrase that on a C.V.?"
"You thinking about leaving us?" Jack asks in mock jest.
"Nope," Ianto replies gently.
Jack reaches up to touch the younger man's lapel. When Ianto backs away, Jack says, "You've got a piece of lint."
Ianto bites his lip and allows his boss to remove it. "I should take his box to the kitchen."
Jack hits the red button to the door and gestures, "After you."
xxxx
A couple of days later, Ianto knocks on the door to Jack's office.
"Come in," Jack calls out.
"You wanted to see me, sir."
"Yeah, I'm going out on a mission, and I'm going to need your expertise."
"You need me? Not Gwen or Owen or Tosh?"
"Yes, you. Specifically you." Jack grabs his coat off of the hook.
When they arrive at the coffee shop, Ianto rolls his eyes, "This is your mission?" He doesn't unbuckle his seat belt.
"It's important," the Captain insists. "We're both in a rut. To get out of it, you need to sample more coffee, and I need to play hookie. Haven't you ever ditched work before?"
Ianto remembers that he and Lisa once called in sick on a Friday so that they could start a romantic weekend early. He chooses not to say this to Jack. "And you're asking me this as my boss?"
"I'm not your boss right now. I'm just a very funny and incredibly handsome man who could be your friend if you let him."
"'Incredibly handsome?'"
"Should I show you The Smile once again?"
Ianto unbuckles his seat belt and gets out of the SUV. "All right, have it your way."
Inside, Eric greets him with a wide grin. "Well, if it isn't Jones, party of two, right on schedule." He leads them to a small room with glass windows, that isolates them from the general noise of the shop while still giving them a view of the rest of the customers and the counter. Eric points at the table. "Take a load off."
"So how does this work?" Jack asks.
"You're gonna get six cups of coffee to sample and rate," Eric says. "Ianto should be able to help you out. Don't let him fool you; he knows his shit. He used to order from all over the place - Sumatra, Mexico, Honduras, Yemen. This guy can also create kick-ass blends, but he's been playing it safe lately. What happened, dude?"
"Are we actually going to start any time soon?" Ianto asks, deflecting Eric's question.
"Monica's brewing your coffee as we speak. Should be ready in a jiff," he replies before exiting the cupping room.
As the two men sit alone at the table, Jack comments. "Looks like I'm not the only one who's concerned about you. Tosh worries about you too. We worry about the harm you might do to yourself. You've been through a lot, and you keep it bottled up inside."
Here we go again, the Welshman thinks to himself. "Worried that I might do anything rash? I never wanted to hurt any of you."
"We know that. When the both of you were caught by those people in the village, you risked your own life to save hers."
"Are you concerned that I might be suicidal, then?"
"I didn't say that."
"When I risked my life for Tosh, how do you know that I didn't want to die?"
Jack leans over the table and grabs Ianto's wrist, pulling him closer. "Because you fought back. Because you were frightened. Anyone who wants to die wouldn't react that way."
There's an ache in Ianto's stomach that has nothing to do with sadness; and there's a familiar scent in the air that is nothing like coffee. As much as he wants that ache and that scent to disappear, they call to him just like they always do and make the blood rush through his body in that frightening and exhilarating way.
The older man eases his grip. "Tosh told me what she heard when she read your thoughts."
Ianto's eyebrow flickers, and he moves his wrist away from Jack's grasp. "What did she tell you?"
"That you were in pain - like rats were gnawing on your insides."
"If she caught my thoughts earlier in the day, she might have heard me humming '99 Luftballoons' to myself. You know how songs get stuck in you head."
"The only reason she told me anything is that she cares about you, just like I do. Ianto, believe me. If there is anything I can do to help you through all of this, I hope you'll let me know. I don't know if I'm getting through to you at all. I keep trying, but sometimes you are so hard to read."
Eric enters the room and rolls a cart with the coffee to the table much to the Welshman's relief. "Here is your coffee and your score cards. Everything is color coded. Just take your time and enjoy."
"Thank you," Ianto says with a polite smile. He picks up the red cup of coffee first, and with one whiff of the cup, the tension begins to melt away from his shoulders. He looks up at the older man who has not moved at all. Jack's just staring at him with a wistful expression on his face. Ianto clears his throat, bringing the immortal man back to reality. "Just take a moment to smell each cup first. Just bring each cup right up to your nose."
"Is there an order to this?"
"No. I just picked my favorite color first."
Jack picks up the red cup as well. "Smells like…coffee. What do you think?"
Ianto jots down a few notes on his card. "Some coffees are sweeter than others. Some have citrus scents; others spicier aromas. Some really don't give out a very strong aroma. Use your imagination. Your's has always been pretty vivid so you shouldn't have a problem."
"The scent reminds me of a massage parlor in the Vegas galaxy. Tirina, the girl with the six arms, always gave the best happy ending. I should note that four of her arms were actually tentacles with suction cups."
Ianto sniggers and rolls his eyes. "Suction cups? She must have been very good."
"Oh, she had to be booked weeks in advance," Jack says with a lusty grin on his face. "It's nice to see you laugh."
"Just not a whole lot to laugh about lately."
They move through the rest of the cups in silence with Jack following the younger man's lead. He's not really certain how to rate the coffees or what he's looking for. He's beginning to feel like he's taking an exam that he hasn't studied for.
"Now clear your head before we get to the tasting," Ianto instructs.
Jack taps his score card on the table. "All of this scoring. It just makes me wonder how I rate as a leader."
"It's a difficult job."
"You know, when I hired Gwen it felt as though I found the missing piece to the team. I thought that everything would just gel. And now, she and Owen are carrying on even though I told her not to let her life drift. I also never realized how lonely Tosh is. Some days it's like we're not even a team. And Suzie…"
Ianto looks up and is astonished by the Captain's sudden vulnerability. "Sometimes, I don't think that Yvonne was aware of the complexities of the position in the way you are. She certainly would've fired Tosh if she brought an outsider into Torchwood, and she would've locked me up in a UNIT detention center for the rest of my life or even executed me without hesitation. You chose to forgive, and that speaks highly of your character."
"I don't want to give up on you."
Not knowing how to respond, Ianto begins to shuffle his score cards. Jack's cell phone rings three times before he feels obliged to answer it.
"Jack, there's a five foot spider wandering around Splott, and it seems that you've taken the SUV for a little joy ride," Owen says on the other end.
"I'll be right there," Jack barks. "In the meantime, grab a giant net and a harpoon." He closes up his cell and tosses some money on the table. "Gotta go."
"I should go with you."
"Stay and finish. There should be enough for cab fare when you're done. For what it's worth, I'm glad we did this."
Jack places a hand on his shoulder, and the younger man reacts with a smile. Then, the Captain breezes out the door.
Eric tosses aside his comic book and enters the cupping room. "Anything wrong?"
"Work emergency," Ianto mutters.
"At a tourist center? What happened? Is there some tourist tearing up the city?"
"Something like that."
Eric looks at Jack's score card and snickers at the comments, "So you and your boss, huh?"
"Yes?"
"He's just got that look when he's with you. We have this barista here named Monica. My boss used to give her that look, and one year later all the regulars are going fucking bat-shit crazy over that sonogram picture of their little bun in the oven."
"You're assuming all of this from just a look?"
"I don't know, man. Well, whatever the case may be, he obviously thinks highly of you. I mean, dude, the guy was obviously out of his element here, but he was trying - for you. Of course, you know the guy better than I do. For all I know, he might be a total dick who is trying to hang with the underlings like he thinks a cool boss should."
"He's not a dick," Ianto says emphatically.
"Eric!" Monica sticks her head in the room and says in a shrill voice. "Your turn to clean out the roasters."
"Gotta go, man," he says. "Good to see you."
Monica begins to clear up Jack's cups from the table, "Was Eric being his usual charming self?"
"Yes."
"He can be a wanker, but believe it or not, he's got one of the most refined palates of anyone I know. That's why my husband keeps him on. Well, I'll leave you to the tasting in peace."
"Congratulations," Ianto says.
Monica pats her swollen belly, "Thanks. Congratulations to you, too. Your boyfriend is really hot."
She takes the cups but leaves the score cards on the table. Out of curiosity, Ianto takes a peek. Under the aroma description, Jack wrote, "Reminds me of Ianto's shampoo. Weird."
xxxx
Ianto arrives to an empty hub, with a bag full of new selections which he places in the kitchen cupboard. He walks into Jack's office to straighten up and notices a leather-bound book that has been left open on his desk. Ianto carefully turns to the title page. It's Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman, and tucked inside there's a Christmas card indicating that it was a gift from Suzie. She wrote, "O Captain, my Captain, I thought you'd might enjoy this book. These poems are very bold, very captivating, very American and some of them are very lusty, just like you." He guesses that this edition must be very old despite being in good condition and must have been expensive. The Welshman sits in the chair and turns to the page that Jack had been reading, just before they left for the coffee shop. He reads the poem at the top of the page:
"O you whom I often and silently come where you are that I may be with you,
As I walk by your side or sit near, or remain in the same room with you,
Little you know the subtle electric fire that for your sake is playing within me."
He reads the poem again. He knows that to think that Jack thought of him after reading the poem is just absurd, and, quite frankly, narcissistic. However, the poem touched something inside of him nonetheless. As he goes about the business of his regular routine, he begins to reevaluate the relationship that he's had with his boss. There's always been a flirtation between them, but then there was Lisa. Now that she was gone, there was nothing else that filled his life than this place, and it's been so long since he's felt someone else's skin against his. No one else ignited that electric fire within him, and while he's tried to run from that feeling, perhaps he should…
Ianto stands in the middle of the hub with a feather duster, having forgotten what he was supposed to do next.
When he realizes that the others have returned, Ianto stands up quickly and joins the others in the hub, but they seemed to be wrapped up in their own concerns.
"I know that he didn't mean it," Gwen calls out after Tosh who is headed for the showers.
Tosh is covered in pink goo and is visibly shaken. "Just leave it," she hisses.
Jack pulls Ianto into his office and hands him his sticky coat. "I'm afraid you're going to have to take this to the cleaners. And when Owen gets back up here with the spider carcass, do not lift a finger to help him."
"I can only guess what he's done," Ianto says.
Jack pushes aside his braces and takes off his shirt. "How'd the rest of the cupping go?"
"I think I've found a new favorite from Ethiopia that's was grown on a small cooperative. It's pricey, but Monica tells me that the farmers are using the proceeds to build a new school."
"I like that. Saving the world one cup of coffee at a time."
Jack sees that his edition of Whitman has been disturbed. He also notices a green score card from the cupping resting on top of the book. Ianto had written Jack's name on the top, and filled out the following categories:
"Aroma: Perfect
Description: Unreal; unlike anything I've ever known. Somewhat intoxicating. Almost makes me forget myself.
Body: 10
Description: Strong and remarkable. It's quite popular so I hear, but I can see why.
Acidity: 7
Description: A bit harsh at times yet lively and bright; definitely not for the faint of heart. But there is an underlying sweetness that is not so readily detected."
Jack smirks as he places the card in his drawer. "You didn't fill out the rating for the flavor."
"I haven't gotten to that part yet," Ianto replies. He sets the coat on the hook and walks to Jack, planting a kiss on his lips. "Hmm."
"How about another taste?" Jack says leaning in. He parts his mouth and allows Ianto's tongue inside. When the younger man breaks the kiss, the Captain asks, "Well?"
Ianto sighs deeply with pleasure, but replies, "I'll keep you posted. Tosh probably needs me to throw her clothes in the wash and take her jacket to the cleaners."
When Ianto returns from the dry cleaners, Jack is waiting for him in the tourist's office. With The Smile plastered all over his face, he asks, "Do you think you might want to stick around so we can discuss how I rate?"
"I'm sorry, sir, but maybe I should take Tosh out tonight for a drink. I think she needs one after the day she's had. She could also use a friend, wouldn't you agree?"
Jack understands, but is clearly disappointed. "Yeah. She probably could use a friend. Maybe some other time."
"Oh, yes," Ianto replies.
The next day, Suzie comes back to life. And after all the chaos that ensues, Ianto recognizes the look of dejection on the Captain's face when he enters the hub with Suzie's corpse. As Tosh and Owen hover over Gwen, Ianto goes about the business of preparing the body for storage in the vaults, while thinking what Jack told him in confidence in the coffee shop and the inscription that Suzie wrote on the title page of Leaves of Grass. There's still so much damage to repair between the two of them, and just a hint of uncertainty, but, standing next to the body of a traitor with his boss, the coffee fanatic suggests, "In case your interested, I've still got that stopwatch."
THE END
I hope you enjoyed that.
On a side note, I probably made Eric an American because I couldn't imagine a British person using the phrase "bat-shit crazy." Of course, I could be wrong. I heard it in Blades of Glory, and I immediately loved that phrase.