I don't own the characters used/mentioned. I'm just playing with them.

This was one of those brain-rot stories (you know, the ones that won't go away until you write them down) that came while I was working on Day in the Life. Hope you like it! Picture sitting maybe in a bar across from Seifer and asking him why he decided to be a villain. That should set the scene enough for you.

Being Seifer Almasy

Wanna know something? It's really, really hard being 'Seifer Almasy'. Yeah, go on. When you're done laughing, I'll tell ya why.

You done yet?

Oh, come on people! Get a fucking grip!

Okay, now, like I was trying to tell you, whether you believe me or not, it's hard being me. The stupid game comes out, and I'm the villain? I mean, what the hell? The flashbacks don't give you the whole picture of me as a kid. And all you see in the damn game is me being a dick. Did any of you ever stop to think maybe I had reasons for being that way to everyone? I mean, yeah I did some really stupid shit. But stupid doesn't make villains – stupid goes with being 18. People gotta get it right – I'm the antagonist, not the fucking villain!

What's the difference? Let me lay it out for you …

Let's start with Zell. Everybody likes Zell, and what's not to like? He's an excellent fighter, and one helluva nice guy. So why am I so hard on him, always calling him "chickenwuss"? Because it works! See, Zell has this issue, I'm not even sure if he's aware of it, but if he thinks anyone there thinks he's a coward, he does that much better. Don't know quite why, but watch him some time. Call him names and he kicks serious ass!

Then there's that chick … oh hell, what's her name? Um … Renee? … No, um … hmmm… Lenore! That's it! No? Damn it! Um … Ria? … Not it either, huh? Well, you know who I mean. Brunette hottie with a thing for blue. Yeah, I was pretty shitty with her. I know my reaction to her blowing me off for the human iceberg was over the top. No, I'm not gonna say it wasn't my fault at all. I will say it was only partly my fault. I mean, come on, a honey like that drops you for a guy like Squall, you can't even make me believe that revenge would never cross your mind. And then to have someone offer you a sweet deal to settle up with everyone? You'd take it, too. Isn't being a teenager all about being shortsighted, young, and stupid?

Of course, there are exceptions. And Quistis is one of those exceptions. She is one of the most book-smart people I know. Don't tell her I said so – she'll never believe you heard it from me. She seems to believe the hype that I'm just not a nice guy. If she'd give me half a chance, I bet I could change her opinion. I mean, she's smart, pretty, and cracks a mean whip, literally – what guy wouldn't love that? But she'd rather play Ice Queen to me, and I'd lay good money on that being a mask so nobody knows who she's really all starry-eyed about – Squall.

What is there to say about "my biggest rival" – ha! Squall owes me – oh, he'll deny it, I'm sure. But he does. If it wasn't for me, he never would have learned to act on his emotions. Everybody tried to get him to open up by being all nice and shit – not me. Sometimes you gotta piss someone off to the point they crack for them to learn anything. By pushing the human iceberg to the breaking point, I taught him passion. … Not that kind of passion! I don't want that from him! No! Passion for life! If you wanna live, you gotta get past that 'whatever' attitude. Otherwise, go flip burgers for a living, know what I mean?

Let's see, who else is there? … Well, there's the cowboy, but only thing I don't get is his whole act. It's working for him, but a cowboy who's probably never ridden a horse? Please!

And Selphie – bah! Cheerleaders! Nuff said.

Now, where would we be without my friends, Fujin and Raijin? I'm sure you all think it's a blind obedience thing – I say "jump", they say "how high?" But you are so wrong. If I ever tried giving orders like that (laughs) – after Fujin quit kicking me and telling me to fuck off, Raijin would want to know why they should do it. He has his own idea of what a "good reason" is, and won't really follow orders blindly. Fujin? I think she's still caught in trying to save me from myself. Funny, huh? Even the ones everybody thinks are my flunkies give me lip. Some villain I am, right?

I think the only ones who didn't see me as a bad guy were the Kramers. But I doubt it does me much good to be vouched for by a woman who used to be possessed by an evil sorceress and a man who seems to be a bumbling incompetent. For the record, he acts that way so someone else will do the paperwork. Cid's sharp as a tack, don't let him fool you. He just hates paperwork.

So, now you all know what's really going on and why I acted the way I did. If knowing this doesn't change your mind and you still think I'm the villain, that's fine. Don't need your crybaby whiny-assed opinion anyway. But personally, I'm sick of it! The right word, besides "jackass", "bastard", and all the others is "antagonist". Got it? Good. Try to fucking remember, okay?