What, you want to know how I ended up working for the Ministry? As in, you're asking me to tell you about my past? That's not how it usually floats here, you know. I'm in charge of this vessel, so I get to decide who does the talking, and on a long trip like this, I'd rather hear the story of your life than yammer on about mine.
Yeah, it's gonna take a while. You really hit the ground running and never stopped, huh? Don't get me wrong, it's usually for the best. It's better to live fully and do good to balance out your sins instead of just trying to sin as little as possible. When you're too careful, you always end up with a whole bunch of karma and not enough good deeds to compensate for it. Okay, it looks like you forgot the "good deeds" -part, but at least you got it half right. Next time's the charm, eh?
Yeah, you'll probably go to Hell. Don't sweat it too much. It's not like it's eternal. And what with the budget cuts and all, they can barely get a good torture session going on over there these days. Broken tools and alcohol deficiency equal lazy oni, you know?
Forget I said that.
Eh? You still want to hear my story? Geez, you're a persistent one, huh? Think it's something grand and exciting, do you? Hate to break it to you, but it's not that fascinating. I've basically been married to the River Sanzu my whole life, right? It's a lot of mist and working the oar and not much else.
Well, sure, I'm pretty old, but you'll find older youkai than me in Gensokyo just by throwing a rock in the bushes. Really, try doing that the next time you go there. It's sure to liven up your day. And yeah, I've seen and heard my share of cool stuff, but that doesn't mean my life before the Ministry is really worth talking about. You can get better yarns about those times out of almost anyone, if warring samurai and dead peasants and youkai pouncing on the lot of them are your cup of tea.
Mine's just the same old story as always, you know. You're born a youkai, or you live long enough to see yourself become a youkai. Those who stay human end up here.
That was a joke. Everyone comes here in the end. Everyone.
It's not so bad when you get used to the idea. Just go with the flow, that's what I always say. Just go with the flow.
Changing the topic's not working, huh? Fine. Let's make a deal. You tell me your story first, and then I'll tell you mine. Don't be disappointed when you find out it's not worth it. You can always make up a cool past for me afterwards, something that pushes all your buttons. That's the good thing about stories, right? You can change them around in your head as you please.
Get started on yours, then. How did you manage to accrue so much karma in so little time, exactly?
Don't worry if it gets long. We have plenty of time. I'll make sure of it.