Change stay the Same

The first thing she noticed upon opening her eyes were the fish. They ignored her, even when she blinked at them, bewildered and slightly sweaty. They were pretty, if not fundamentally wrong in their existence in every other way.

If the fish knew that they were wrong, swimming merrily around as they were, shimmering in and out of her field of vision with their reflective scales of rich colours, they didn't show it. She took another step forward on the green lush grass under her bare feet, thinking that maybe if she disturbed them, they would go back into the water where they belonged. But she couldn't help but to try and touch one. The fish simply went sharply to the right before her sweaty fingers could make any contact. It didn't even stop to look at her. More importantly, it didn't stop swimming in the middle of the air as if it were a very misshapen bird.

Trevelyan had to brace herself before she looked up. Because, as fuzzy as her mind felt, she had a sudden fear that the fish weren't the ones who were wrong. Maybe she was the one who was confused and was suddenly trying to breathe underwater and now she was dying? But looking up she saw only the surface of the sea.

Oh.

Wait a minute. She looked back up just as a fish passed above her head, showing her its bright yellow belly. The sea was indeed still there. It was beautiful, stormy and full of lapping lazy blue waves. It was also upside down and fuzzy around the edges. She strained her eyes trying to see its end on the horizon, or what she assumed was the horizon, where its azure blue blended with a strange mist before fading into the pink and orange of the… Sky?

She went further out onto the edge of wherever she was and dug in her toes as if afraid of gravity deciding to throw her for a loop as well, then she looked down. There were clouds, fat and fluffy, sailing underneath her. Their gentle white blending with the orange, yellows and pink from the sunset. She couldn't see the sun itself, but from the light she was guessing that it was under wherever she was.

Alright. Okay, the best course of action when such things were around her, was obviously to stay calm. And of course, not jump off the place she stood to see if she would fall up or down. Because she was not suicidal no matter how curious she was. Dragging her palms on the flimsy short skirt of her summer dress in a vain hope that she would stop sweating, she took a deep breath and stared resolutely forward.

Just to make sure she wasn't dying, she swished her left arm in an arch in front of herself to see if she would meet resistance like she would underwater. Nope, still clear breathable air. Which was a bigger relief than she thought it would be, seeing as she would have accepted whatever weirdness hit her at this point. To know that the air was still air reassured her that some things were still as they should be at least.

The fish were still there. Alright. That was fine.

Shaking out her arms to force herself to stop clenching her dress like a frightened woman in distress, which she would never describe herself as, just to be clear. She squared her shoulders and turned smartly on her heels to once again face the first thing she had decided to ignore. Why had she decided to ignore it?

Well, mostly it was because of the white reflective spires and the yellow roses climbing all over the facade of the castle, or perhaps palace was more apt a description? It was like a jealous lover trying to smother the object of its affection in kisses, overbearing and obvious in its suffocation. The parts of the building she could see between the petals and vines were an almost aggressive shade of white that glared at her from the sheer light coming from it.

Trevelyan was not afraid of amazing architecture, absolutely not! It was rather how it somehow twisted itself from the cheery white spires and sunlight to somehow fade into nothing at the end. It bathed itself in shadow and light at once which made her head ache something terribly. It also made it hard to even begin to guess how big it was. It was as if it drew your gaze while repelling it at the same time, a feat in itself which made her increasingly nervous.

There was also an alarmingly growing cold rock in her stomach. Though that might be because of nerves. She would of course deny it if asked.

The windows of the place were dark but she could see the grand doors from where she was standing just beyond the stylish gates. The open gates.

Her father had always called her a bright child as she was growing up. If her cleverness had stayed with her as she grew was another matter entirely. As it was, she took the open gates as an invitation. Honestly, she mostly just wanted to get away from the fish who had started circling her head and were somehow making the stone in her stomach even heavier. So instead of standing like a statue pretending she could remember how to breathe properly while telling herself not to have a panic attack, she strode forward. Confidently!

Because being anything else but confident or brave at this moment of time would be unforgivable. Being frightened or lost would get her nowhere. And she had questions that needed, no, demanded answers. Preferably in a manner she could understand, sitting down at a normal table where the furniture stayed where she expected it too, and nothing was on the ceiling except the ceiling. So she had decided and so it must be, before she lost her nerve entirely and instead threw herself off of the edge hoping this was a dream she would wake up from if she fell.

So she made her way to the amazing castle, palace or whatever it might be called. As soon as she made her way past the gates she was floored by the smell of the roses who, under further inspection, not only crawled all over the facade, but also seemed to work its way out of dark cracks she hadn't noticed before. The sneeze was unavoidable, less so was the arm she had unbidden of any conscious thought dragged under her nose as soon as it was over, smearing snoot and pollen all over her forearm. She sniffed, deciding that it didn't matter if she was covered in snot now, because nobody had seen her. Making her way over the smooth stones, cool under her bare feet, she made her way over the only three steps towards the grand door she had seen from the edge.

It was much larger than she had thought.

Looking up, and up, she craned her neck to see a wolf head in pale silver, way of there on the awfully oversized door. Grinning down at her from its place, it felt as if he was making fun of her.

The wolf was holding a delicate looking circlet in his teeth, as if he was taunting her. There was absolutely no way she could reach it to knock and she very much doubted a pounding fist would do. The door looked like it weighed a ton, and her puny hand didn't stand a chance of being heard by the occupant, if one even existed. Or so she thought as she tried to stretch her body towards the wolf who only seemed to grin wider, if such a thing was possible, as she pressed herself closer to the door trying to reach it. After a few pitiful attempts at jumping to reach, she realized that the only thing she manage to do was to ruck up her own skirt against the door when a slight breeze touched her buttox, She was quick to pull it down again when she realized, glancing both left and right just incase she wasn't as alone as she thought.

The coast was clear.

Clearing her throat she put her hand in front of the door. It hovered there undecided before she made a fist and made a careful knock.

Knock… Knock?

She waited.

For a small eternity she started at the door, memorising the light pattern she could see under the dark coat of varnish. There was a nervous energy under her skin, as she was mentally preparing herself for the door to violently swing open and someone to shout at her for daring to trespass. She didn't even realize she had been holding her breath until she was sure that nobody was coming as the door stayed resolutely shut.

Knock… Knock… Knock!

There was nothing. Only silence and a still grinning wolf looking down at her. But Trevelyan was not a woman who gave up. He mother did not raise a quitter! So she did the only reasonable thing. She went to the nearest window and peered in. It was dark in there, too dark to see, she thought as she pressed her nose to the window. They were so high she had to stand on the tips of her toes to even reach them, trying to keep her balance with her hands on the rough stone under her nose.

Backing away when the darkness seemed to grow oppressing, she surveyed the door and the windows again. Not getting away from the edge of the world and the fish, the upside down sea and the clouds was unacceptable. And even more alarming, the roses and the darkness that twisted around the place had moved since the last time she had looked at it!

There was a growing feeling of dread and unease with that shadow growing over the white surface of the stone. The yellow flowers looked as if they were straining not to fall apart, a few petals already falling off and landing on the green grass.

She shivered as the air grew cold and the sound of thunder was heard. Turning around she looked up towards the sea. It had grown stormy and gray, angry and violent. The horizon was no longer gentle and warm but cold and dark as the clouds seemed to rise over the edge, billowing and black, gliding like death over the grass she had first stood on as she found herself in this strange place.

And just like that, Trevelyan was not feeling very confident or brave at all. Just very afraid and very small.

Suppressing the tremble that wanted to break free, she felt her body grow tense, how her jaw clamped shut as she followed the wall of the building, hoping to find another door, an open window or something. Dragging her fingers across the harsh stone she tried to find a window with light, hoping she could tap it and a kind soul to hear and let her in.

There was no window with light and the grass under her feet had gotten damp and cold. Walking faster and faster, she didn't notice the shadows following her or how the clouds had risen above the ground and started tracking her fear. It wasn't until she felt wet drops fall on her head that she looked away from the windows and saw the dark behind her. Something primal in her made the hair on her body stand on end as she felt the stone in her belly melt out, an odd molten cold, one that spread all the way out to her fingertips as the cloud, or mist, touched her legs and the dark started crawling up her body.

The wet cloudy fog followed it.

When she opened her mouth, to scream, to gasp, she hadn't decided, it sucked out her breath and went down her throat, bringing with it a taste of rot and decay, a damp nothingness that forced her head back to stare at the angry sea above her.

The moisture trailed over her skin, soaked into her white dress, flooded her nostrils and dripped into her lungs. It was overwhelming, the panic and the pain of something inside of her ribcage, that was never supposed to be touched, suddenly filling up with an unnatural force of nature. Tears fell from the corners of her eyes, hands went to her own throat, her face, trying to cover her mouth to stop it from happening, but it was never ending.

Trevelyan was drowning.

At first it was nothing, she couldn't understand, but then she was gulping it down, trying to swallow it, as if it would clear her airways and make it possible to breathe, only to find that she was breathing in water.

To breathe, please, let me breathe! I need to...

Something sharp grabbed her stomach. It dug into the fat of her belly and pulled her backwards harshly, right into the wall that slammed into her back. It made her want to cough, but she could only get up the water that had gotten into her lungs temporarily because something was forcing it back down into her lungs with force. But the thing that had gotten to her just dug in its fingers more firmly, enough that she thought she could feel it in her spine. It slammed her against the hard wall again and again, making her head bounce against it like a ragdoll. Her already teary eyes brimmed over from the pain as her sight flickered. Then the wall gave way and she felt her body go into the hard stone.

And it got stuck there. The edges of the wall felt far too sharp against her face. The thing that had been steadily blocking her airways followed her, almost trying to curl into her body with blanket like tendrils, hooking itself to her body stubbornly.

The rough hand that had grabbed her retracted as if surprised. Then it went back to her midsection. This time she could feel a second hand join the first, digging into her flesh and pulling until she fell over and landed on her back in a dim room. The water was physically pulled out of her throat and lungs, she could feel the lurch on her inside, almost hear it, a strange sucking sound from inside her body as the last lingering cold water left her lips.

For a few seconds she lay there looking at the ceiling, that was indeed where she thought it would be, before she rolled to her side and coughed up what felt like a whole lake. She was on all fours on an entirely too expensive looking rug. First coughing and then vomiting up water that came back dirty, and in some places, with slimy pink clumps.

There were several moments where she just gulped in air, staring down between her hands at the mess she had made, trying to get oxygen. When she was sick of staring at it she let her eyes wander to her hand, at the small blemish under her thumb, slightly darker than the rest of her skin. Her chest moved erratically as she let her mind go blank for a few precious seconds staring at that spot, before raising her head and sitting up.

The room was airy and filled with light. Her brow pinched as she turned her head, taking in the old furniture, gleaming with cleanliness and grandeur. There were bookshelf filled to the brim with ancient looking tomes, a sturdy looking desk with a few pages scattered over the surface, letters and inc. There was even a luxurious looking sofa in the corner. One she staggered to gratefully albeit a bit shakily.

Sitting down heavily, she dragged her arm over her mouth to wipe away the water before hugging herself and looking over the room. It wasn't that she was afraid, not anymore. An odd calm had fallen over her as she searched for whatever had grabbed her and saved her from what was out there.

Glancing uneasily over to the windows letting in the sun once again, she was only met by the sky and the edge of a yellow rose peeking in. But not even a small sign of whatever had saved her or the things out there that had tried to suffocate her.

Kill her.

She shuddered and hugged herself tighter. It was a childish part of her that refused to look at the windows as she got up, just in case that power was trying to slip through them. Either way, the only way was forward, and seeing as the thing that saved her was nowhere to be found she decided to find someone before she screamed. So Trevelyan padded across the soft rug, while duly noting that the mess she had made was nowhere to be seen. There was only a dry clean rug on the floor, without even a trace of water.

Her dress had miraculously been freed from even a drop as well. Her hair and skin both pleasantly warm and dry. But Trevelyan had just been physically dragged through a wall made of stone after shadows and angry clouds had tried to murder her, so this was hardly something noteworthy.

There was a wooden door next to a smaller desk with a simple handle, no wolf or weird proportions anywhere. Yet she was sure it would be locked if she tried the handle. Therefore it was a great surprise when it swung open effortlessly.

Prodding the tender spots where what had felt like claws had grabbed at her, she steeled herself and went out into the empty hallway. There was no soft rug there, only cool stone that shone with cleanliness. It was a bit like walking through a museum. Airy and pristine, sparsely decorated with murals on the walls, the only sound the ones she herself created.

The soft padding of her feet on the stone made her nervous as if she was disturbing wherever this place was. As if she wasn't invited and the very foundation knew it. She was tolerated, nothing else. Not to mention the throbbing in her skull and how it seemed to intensify with every little sound.

The doors she passed where all locked when she tried their handles. Trevelyan was growing more and more desperate for one who would open. The soles of her feet had started to go slightly numb from the cold and there was a growing sense of urgency following her footsteps.

But there was one door who was drawing her eyes further ahead. The light had been consistent all throughout the hallway, but here, there was a slight shadow. Not like the ones outside, the ones devouring the roses, but soft looking shadows that made the lines of the wood seem more gentle and welcoming. She stopped in front of it, unsure for some reason. The murals on the walls had all been bright, vivid colours depicting mystical rituals with people wearing robes, great battles and animals running through the forests. But here, next to this door, there was only a pale picture of a tower against a backdrop of the faintest orange.

Knock knock.

Trevelyan startled. Before she could think on it she acted on autopilot, "Who's there?"

There was no answer and she stood there feeling like an idiot. The fleeting thought of walking away came and went unheeded, as if it was somehow rude towards the door to walk off now. Clearing her throat she tried again, "Hello?"

A heavy silence settled like a blanket. She had resigned herself to walk away again when suddenly the door started to rattle violently making her nearly jump out of her own skin. As it was she merely backed away with a raised arm as if she was waiting for an attack while whomever was at the other side of the door pounded their fist agains it.

"I can't get in if you don't open the door!" A voice said from the other side.

Her hand shoot out without her consent, grabbing the handle and twisting it regardless of what her nervous butterflies thought of it. It was just as effortless as the first door which had admitted her into the hallway. Only this one led straight into a… Dark closet?

It was.

An empty dark closet without even a trace of a person. It was small, the only thing in there being an ancient looking bucket covered with rust and filled with holes, sitting innocently on the floor. She nudged it with her leg and watched it fall to its side and roll haltingly before stopping by the wall.

Alright. That was fine, she decided and closed the door again.

It was when she turned around again that she retracted her decision that it was fine. A cold breeze gusted out from the closed door behind her, making her shiver down to the marrow of her bones as it passed through her and out into the hallway where she could almost trace it as it skated out into the light and dissolved into nothing. As if the light had melted it.

It gave off a sense of relief as it went.

All the hair on her body stood on its end as Trevelyan wondered if there were anything like ghosts in the world. If she had just let one out of a closet in a strange place filled with fish and roses. How she felt about it could wait though. Shoved deep into that dark box inside where she kept everything unpleasant she didn't want to think about, kicked under something else for good measure- all speculations halted.

Squaring her shoulders again, she dragged her palms over her dress to straighten it and took a breath. Everything would be fine. She just needed to keep walking forward. That's it. Just that.

Trevelyan kept walking. It wasn't long at all before she saw a door, slightly bigger than the others and wide open. She didn't slow her pace but went right for it, vaguely registering the chipper chirps from the great room she entered.

It was a jungle. The humidity of the place hit her all at once. She could almost feel her hair getting frizzy from it after only a few seconds.

Craning her neck she looked up at the tall trees and plants all over the room, from floor to ceiling, filled to bursting with life. And the incessant chirping of birds. But where were they?

Trevelyan couldn't even see a single movement amongst the branches, nor hear the flapping of wings. She frowned, stepping further into the room and grabbing the first comically large leaf she could reach. Its glossy surface looked healthy and was unusually soft. It seemed to pulse with an unnamed warmth that spread through her like comfort. Her shoulders lowered as a tension she hadn't even known was there bled out of her.

There weren't any pots or patches of soil anywhere. The trunks and roots just sprung straight out from the stone floor. There were shadows there, too.

Puzzled she looked closer at them, soon noticing more of them further in the room, all of them gliding effortlessly under the stone. They were shaped like wings. She could hear the birds again. They were under the floor.

That was amazing.

She didn't even hade the energy to be surprised at this point, yet she still took care where she walked. As if she was afraid that if she stepped on one of them in flight, they would get hurt. It wasn't logical, yet she couldn't help hopping from foot to foot, weaving her way across the floor until she was safely on the other side of the room.

Trying to feel the edges of the walls, she looked for a door, one whose existence she didn't even question. She just knew it would be there. And it was just where she knew it would be, hidden partly behind a trunk covered with lush moss. The loud click as it opened for her was oddly satisfying.

Pressing herself behind the tree to get to the door, she had to suck in her gut, feeling the uncomfortable pressure on her ribs and still tender spots on her stomach. She almost tripped when she made it, having pushed her body forward too hard and having nothing to catch herself on. Instead it was an ungraceful stumble which landed her in another hallway.

Trevelyan wasn't disappointed at this development. Instead she allowed herself the tiniest smile as she saw that there was only one door at the end of it. There was no light here, nor any windows to avoid looking at. Just the dimness of the hall and the door.

Now, a woman of the Trevelyan family did not skipp in any shape or form. But walking with light steps, now that was more acceptable, as her mother would have said. See, the heavy stone that had grown in her belly was gone without any explanation. And the butterflies born from nerves where nowhere to be found.

Had she perhaps stopped to think of her situation more, instead of plowing forward like an unstoppable trainwreck about to happen, Trevelyan might have found this odd. Or even suspicious. But she found nothing suspicious about the whispers she could barely hear, murmuring reassurances and encouragements in her ears. Nor the invisible hands that kept pushing at the small of her back as if there was a hurry. Because Trevelyan could not see nor hear them. Not consciously.

Forgetting as soon as she noticed, she grew more confident and brave with every step she took until she was before the heavy looking door. Instead of doing the polite thing here, which was to knock incase someone was behind it, seeing as it felt as if this was the door in this strange place, she brazenly opened it without a hint of hesitation.

Immediately she was hit with the powerful smell of paint. Which, regrettably was the first thing she noticed. The second thing was the unfinished mural on the wall and the outstretched arm that was holding a brush. The natural progression of this was to follow the arm to the source, which Trevelyan did. To absolutely no one's surprise it was attached to a person.

A person who had turned his head as she entered with a bewildered expression which quickly turned cold as ice. She stopped in her tracks as a quick flash of fear struck her heart. She could not tear her eyes off of his as the man turned fully to face her, lowering his brush and easing his stance. Though relaxed looking, Trevelyan was far from reassured.

"Hello." He spoke coolly without moving his stare from hers.

"Hello!" Trevelyan answered back far too loudly.

Feeling embarrassed as he narrowed his eyes in response to her volume she straightened her short dress. "Sorry to barge in!" She lied, she wasn't sorry at all. Only relieved to have found someone else there instead of another closet or strange room.

"It just so happens that I am a bit… Uh, lost? Yes, lost, and I was wondering where I am." The words were clumsy and not at all what she wanted to say. She wanted to ask about the fish and the darkness outside, the dying roses and the ghost she might have released. But he made her beyond nervous even though she felt warm and safe suddenly, as if someone familiar had walked over to stand beside her in front of this stranger who looked at her as if she were an odd bug.

He moved slowly. Putting his brush in a jar and grabbing a rag to clean his hands, which she noted were not all that dirty.

"How did you get here?" He asked her, putting down the rag on a small table and taking measured steps closer. She tried not to think of murderers or predators stalking prey, but was unsuccessful. Especially as he never once stopped staring at her. But she refused to back away as he drew closer, stopping a scant meter from her and looking down his nose at her.

"I am sorry…" She tried to swallow, "I don't really know."

His eyebrows went down, reminding her of the angry clouds outside. Almost hearing the echo of the thunder, she tried to hasten herself to explain when he crossed his arms, "I was just here all of a sudden! I swear I didn't break into your place to steal your… Your things." Because she hadn't really found anything noteworthy in there unless you counted doors that remained stubbornly locked. "Not that I am here to steal or anything!" She continued. "I knocked! But then things happened and I think I went through a wall?" The last thing was said very quickly, as if she herself had just realized that it was a bit more weird than she had allowed herself to contemplate as it happened.

If the man found her strange, he did not show it. If anything he seemed to ease up. Lowering his shoulders and relaxing. Letting his arms fall to his sides, he finally let his eyes fall away as he thought. Trevelyan watched as he clenched his jaw as he mulled something over before he nodded to himself.

"Very well." He stated to no one and walked out of the room.

She watched his back as he disappeared into the dim hallway she had come from before she heard him call back to her.

"Follow me."

There was only a second of indecision before she scurried after him quickly. His legs were long and seemed endless and strong as he walked before her. She had to almost jog to keep up with his steps. He didn't once look back to see if she was following and she found herself almost peeved about it. But such unpleasant thoughts were best kept to oneself when in someone else's home so she bit her tongue.

To her surprise he did not have to squeeze his way forward to get into what she had deemed, "the jungle room", instead he walked forward without any issues. She found herself surprised to find a normal looking room without a trace of life.

The floor was not filled with shadows of birds, nor was there any chirpin to be heard. No trunks of trees or vines, only row after row of books in tidy looking bookshelves and cluttered looking tables shoved carelessly into the corners. He didn't even look at the room, like it had always been just another room filled with books and not a strange space filled with wonders.

She could only hurry to follow as he opened the door to the other hall, trying to keep up and not to pant to loudly. Trying not be embarrassed about being so out of shape was hard when it seemed like he walked without any effort. There weren't even any stairs!

So she gritted her teeth and did her best not to lose track of the dark mop of dreads walking in front of her, looking at the rhythmic swaying of the ends of them as they swung over his back. All this while not looking at his backside that he had somehow squeezed into a pair of dark leather pants terribly out of season.

Then they were in front of a grand door. Which was impossible because she had only zoned out for a moment and the front door was far away from here. Or so she had thought. Unperturbed he opened it and turned towards her with a sweeping gesture of his arm, ushering her out. She did as asked numbly, walking out towards the the front of the castle, or palace, while looking around suspiciously and catching her breath.

"Hey." She said distractedly while looking over the space, "So this is going to sound insane, but watch out for the dark spots. And if it starts raining-"

She didn't get further because he ignored her and walked past her. How rude!

"Excuse me! Hey!" She tried as she started jogging to catch up again. But the man didn't even turn around or stop to answer her, instead he walked straight to the edge of the world.

Trevelyan stopped next to him, breathing heavily again while he seemed to grow irritated. Or at least the piece of his face she could see looked irritated. Now that the clouds were raising themselves upwards towards them, casting a dark shadow again, a fact that didn't help her feel safer at all, she decided that none of it were any good signs.

"There are…" He started distractedly as a fishtail almost slapped his cheek which made him frown even deeper, "Fish."

Well, yes, there were fish there. But Trevelyan was over that already. Even though they were sailing the air currents as if they owed them.

"Yes." She said anyway, because it felt as if it needed to be said, no matter how rude he had been. Almost as an afterthought she added, "They were here when I got here." Just incase there was any confusion.

"Indeed."

For a short moment of existence they shared a while of silence. It could almost be called a friendly silence as they both critically stared at fish detrimentally confused about their place in the world.

Trevelyan was just about ready to lie to herself and say that everything would be okay. Because if this man, with his skintight pants and dark dreadlocks, that now, when she could see them in a different light, had a bit of a red tint to them, was just as perplexed about this as her, then it was alright. Or so she thought for a second. Then his hand went to the small of her back with gentle fingers.

Her head turned sharply to question him, with her mouth halfway open, realizing he didn't even look at her. Before she had uttered even a single syllable, he pushed her over the edge of the world without even a trace of regret on his face.

The betrayal was sudden and unexpected, but hardly of any consequence when one was falling to her death. The scream that tore out of her throat on the other hand, now that was not so unexpected. More so the hair that blew into her mouth and tried to crawl down her lungs when she gulped down air to scream some more; louder, just because it seemed prudent to do in such a situation. She paused to spit it out with a dignified, "plaurgh", sound for good measure then went right back to screaming.

The clouds that before this moment had been mystical, beautiful and slightly terrifying, were now rushing to meet her. Or maybe it was rather that she was falling all over herself to finally meet them officially, as she crashed into their wet foggy bodies without as much as a polite nod.

As a child she had always thought that they would be fluffy and soft. That she could land on them and settle down for a nap. Instead she was cold, scared, flailing her arms like a madman, and swallowing her own hair mixed with the water that was far denser than she thought it would be in a cloud.

Then they abruptly disappeared and gave way for clear dry sky. Though this relieving change of scenery was only temporary. After all, if Trevelyan had learnt anything during this adventure, it was to always expect the unexpected. Sadly, she was a bit too preoccupied with the screaming and fear of death to see the pattern of strangeness in her life. And so, when she hit the surface of the sea, stomach first, she was still surprised. And still screaming. Only now in water. Which was a mistake.

As the bubbles escaped from her mouth until she was completely out of air, and she realized that the sea was far darker than she thought it would be. She couldn't help but to feel like she was still rushing forward at an alarming speed. And very soon the darkness around her lessened until she could see the sun on the other side of the… Surface?

She burst through, only had a moment to see a floating island and an ant sized man standing by the edge of it, before she fell past it and back into the clouds where she coughed and tried to regain her breath. At this point, the screaming had finally stopped as Trevelyan had started to realize something.

Looking down she saw the sea once again ready to greet her, falling through she once again saw the light, then fell back into the air and watched the floating island.

After the fifth cycle of this, she was over it. After the tenth she was angry. And she decided that the best way to deal with this anger was to yell at someone. And oh, look! There was the jerk who pushed her over the edge. He was still there, watching her fall over and over again. The least he could do at this point was to act as an outlet.

"What the fuck, you piece of-" And the clouds again.

"Do something before I wring your stupid-" And the clouds again. Though this time she had caught a glimpse of his face. It didn't make her feel better. Maybe she needed a change of tactic, she thought as she fell out of the sea again.

"Your house is terrible and so are-" Ah, yes. Good going Trevelyan! Insult his home. That will surely convince him to go and get a net to throw out and catch you.

"I'm gonna be sick all over myself!" It was true. She was starting to feel a bit squeamish.

She tried to scream at him, plead with him and insult him with every fall. Until finally she gave up.

She resigned herself to fall forever. This was her life now. Just her and the fishes floating by. Surely he would soon lose interest and go back into the strange building and forget about her. But Trevelyan hadn't cried since she saw the end of the Notebook, and that was years ago. So she resigned herself to her fate with dry eyes and a stubborn set of her jaw.

She had just started to plot on how she could try to catch one of the colourful fishes to somehow get out of this horror, when something marvelous happened. Well, something marvelously painful.

The jerk with the tightpants had just stuck out his hand and caught her in the middle, and at the speed she was falling, this was quite an impact of force on her poor inner organs. For awhile it felt as if she would throw them up. As her lungs ceased all funtion and she reeled from the shock of it all, he pulled her over to the right side of the edge. As in towards the grass.

He was not a gentleman, she decided as he simply dragged her over and let her tumble to the ground without ceremony. Once again, Trevelyan found herself on all fours, trying to breathe again and not get sick all over herself. Once was enough, she decided as she willed herself to take in big greedy gulps of air. Her hair fell all over her face, dripping and cold as death, her summer dress was absolutely soaked as well and clung to her uncomfortably.

He gave her a moment to collect herself. Then he sat back on his haunches to regard her. He didn't look as cold as he did before, but he didn't look sorry either. More curious.

"Who are you?" He asked her as if there was any way for her to reply to him without screaming again.

Well, as soon as she could stop trying to inhale oxygen. Right now she couldn't do anything more than roll onto her back and breathe. Looking up at the sea she blinked and focused on nothing else but getting herself under control again.

"Why-", she paused to cough, "the fuck did you do that?" Even when she felt half dead she managed to sound ready to start a tirade. You could hear it in her tone, as if she was gearing up to it. You know, as soon as the world would allow her to function again.

"I had a theory that it would return you to your given place." He settled himself more comfortably down on the grass beside her. "But it seems I was incorrect. Perhaps you are not as you first seemed."

Rolling to her side she dragged her hand over her face before shoving her wayward hair behind her ears and sitting up to stare at him. "You tried to kill me."

"No." He pulled himself back as if insulted. "I was trying to help you go back to your place. But you didn't want to."

"What?"

"Or maybe, there is something else. Something you're not telling me." He went sharp again. Which was wholly unfair as she had done nothing but to fall into peril since she got there. If anyone should go sharp, it should be her!

He was a terrible host.

"I have done nothing! I just got here, tried to knock on your door and nearly died! Several times! And you pushed me!" Her voice had risen with every word. She found herself standing, without even realizing she had done so, only to tower over him. He didn't even narrow his eyes or anything else you might think a potential shifty murderer might do. He just tilted his head at her, still with that curious air about him. His dreads shifted with him, a light sound was heard as the small beads clinked together with the movement.

"And how did you get here, I wonder. "

"I don't know!"

"I see. And why is that? Awfully convenient, isn't it?" Now his eyes did narrow.

She sputtered. Since she had gotten there, Trevelyan had done an awfully good job of keeping it together. That had been her plan, keep it together until she could find someone else and ask questions. Then she would have sound logical answers that explained everything.

"I don't know!" It came out too heartfelt, too honest and vulnerable. It surprised the both of them.

He lost his sharp edge and she could feel her face heating up with humiliation as her eyes misted over. Perhaps she hadn't been holding it together as much as she had outright denied it even happening.

A beat of silence fell where she tried to look at nothing, make this moment into nothing and just disappear. It was too much and she was tired of it. She just wanted to go home. Go to her dry and warm home where everything was familiar and safe.

The man sighed and stood up.

"I apologize." He said with a nod, making her once again set her attention back on him. "This must all be overwhelming for you."

The answer got stuck in her throat. The humiliation rose higher on her cheeks. He noticed and cleared his throat.

"I am Solas, if there are to be any introductions." Solas tried to smile, but it came out stiff, as if he wasn't really feeling up to it. That he had tried still helped.

"I'm Trevelyan." Forcing back an unwanted sniff, she dragged her arm under her nose and tried to smile back.

"Trevelyan." He confirmed, tasting the name and how it sounded. "Only Trevelyan?"

"That is what everyone calls me. Feels weird if they use anything else. Like they're mad at me." Trying to fix her dress felt silly as soon as she tried, but the compulsion was strong.

"Alright, miss Trevelyan." Solas straightened and put his hands behind his back. "It seems as if you are holding the key to your own salvation."

"There must be a hole in my pocket then." She joked with something like a laugh. Solas did not laugh with her.

"Joke as you will, but if you ever wish to leave, a force of will is necessary." He scanned her form with an impassive glance. "If you are able to hold it."

"I don't understand." Standing there, wet, confused and miserable, Trevelyan only wanted answers, cut and dry, not riddles.

"Where even is this place? And why is it like this?" She gestured at their surroundings, now serene and magical as it had been in the beginning. "It doesn't make any sense!"

"This place is of your creation. I merely acted as its conduct." There was the slightest curl of his mouth. "It has been a long time since anyone surprised me." His dreads spilled over his shoulder as he leaned forward, "What else will you change?"

Mouth opened to answer then closed as she honed in on an odd detail. It wasn't his eyes that caught her attention this time, or the beads in his hair.

"Your ears!" She exclaimed.

His smile dropped and died as if it had never been as he leaned back from her again.

"They're pointy!" She cupped her own trying to imitate pointed tips, as if Solas himself wasn't aware of this or had never in his life owned a mirror.

"Your indomitable sense of focus is astonishing." He said in a monotone tone of voice, still managing to drip with condescension.

"But why are they…! Oh." She dropped her hands, realizing what she was doing and how he had closed himself off. "Sorry! I didn't mean to be rude." She apologized to the man who pushed her over the edge.

He waved her off, "It is of no consequence. I imagine you have never seen one of my kind in your lifetime." Tone mild, yet stance telling her off in a way words never could.

"Your kind?"

"Yes." Eyes growing distant, it was as if his very existence shimmered in time with the scales of the fish swimming around them. She blinked and the effect was gone, leaving only Solas, standing before her as solid as she was. He seemed to find himself just as she was preparing to ask him about it.

"We shouldn't linger. Already, your presence here has grown too strong."

"What does that mean?"

Stumbling after him she was led back to the large building. The very air seemed to grow warmer the closer to the gates they came. The roses that had before been cloying in their strong scent were somehow milder to her now. The cracks in the facade not as prominent, the white light from the stone overwhelming them leaving a new feeling of wholeness that had been missing.

"It means I will lead you to your room." Solas opened the grand door with the silver wolf with a mere gesture of his hand, flippant and with an ease that spoke more about his person than he perhaps thought she could perceive.

"My room." Trevelyan nearly glared at the door closing behind them now without any prompting from either of them. "Here. In this place?" Where nothing is making any sense, she wanted to add.

"For a time. If you will allow it."

"Where else would I go? Incase you haven't noticed, I am running on empty here. Trying to figure my way off a floating island is hardly an endeavour I am willing to start now."

She heard something that sounded like a derisive snort from him at that. "An astute observation."

He kept a hurried pace, always a few steps in front of her. When he kept quiet she got the sense that she had somehow overstepped her welcome already. So she kept silent and followed him down the hallway filled with the beautiful murals while somehow restraining herself from making stilted smalltalk at his back.

It wasn't until they reached a particular door that she hesitated. The pale tower with the faint orange background was still there, just as she remembered it from earlier. With everything that had happened, she was hoping it would somehow disappear just like the jungle had before.

It was when she realized he was walking straight towards that door. The one where the ghost had been, that she spoke up. "Solas, wait!" Hurrying forward she tugged at his arm to pull him back. He didn't jolt at her touch as if repelled, he froze as if unbelieving.

"Yes?" He kept shifting his eyes from her hand on his arm to her face, telling her without words to stop touching him. Immediately.

Trevelyan was far too occupied with glaring at a piece of wood to notice. "There was something weird about this closet before."

He followed her lead and gave it a glance with a raised eyebrow. "Closet?"

Shaking off her hand he grabbed the handle. "I fear you are mistaken. This is your room."

It swung open revealing not a rusty old bucket, but a bright bedroom.

It looked like any normal bedroom. A bed, a nightstand and a closet in the corner with a small mirror attached to it. Bright sunshine spilling in through the windows, drawing her attention to the cosy bright green quilt at the foot of the bed.

Unbidden she stepped in. "No, this was a closet! And that other place was a jungle before! None of this is making any sense!" Spinning in a circle, pulling at her wet dress, stretching the fabric slightly, she looked back at him with wide eyes. "I swear, something else was here!"

Standing still in the doorway, Solas stared down at her again with that sharp look. "I suggest you get some rest. You have had a trying day, I am sure."

"You're not even listening to me!"

"Miss Trevelyan." His voice raised itself slightly with a harsh undertone. "If you are quite done, I ask you to please remember that this is my home. I know these halls far better than you and I assure you, this is, and always has been a bedroom."

"You're kidding me!" She flapped her arms across the room as if it would help him understand. "Flying fish and homicidal powers aside, you must admit this place isn't normal! This was a haunted closet, for makers sake!" The mere memory, yet not fully repressed though she had done her best, still gave her the shivers. "I was there! I saw it!"

Solas narrowed his eyes at her. She could see his jaw working furiously as if he was holding back whatever he wanted to say, something that made her lower her arms again. She remembered again, how Solas had lead her to the edge and pushed her over. He said he didn't try to kill her, but he had still done it. Far too many times, she had almost died since coming here. The vulnerable position she was in now was very clear to her.

"I bid you goodnight." Then he bowed, which was the most peculiar thing and wholly unexpected.

"Goodnight?" She asked, the wind going out her sails. "But it's not even dark out!"

He looked up sharply, still bent at the waist. "It is now." He turned without comment.

Trevelyan was left staring after he closed the door with a soft click. Turning when it became clear that he was truly gone she noticed that the windows, previously lit up, were now dark and filled with stars.

Note: I haven't written in years, but this was fun. Want to add two more chapters. Don't know when though as I only do this for fun. This was published on AO3 as well.