Ok, so I loved the end of episode 10 of season 4 when Bea finally follows her heart and climbs into bed next to a sleeping Allie. One thing that I really wanted to see though, was Allie's reaction when she woke up next morning, so here's my take on what would have happened the morning after;
As the bright morning light creeped through the window, Allie's eyes flickered open. She brought her hand up to her face, rubbing her fingers over her pounding forehead. She wasn't even sure when she eventually fell asleep and slowly, she remembered the night before. The lashing out, the screaming, the tears. It all explained why she was feeling the way she was right now. She let out an audible groan, soon realising afterwards that there was a secure arm draped over her torso. A soundly sleeping form in the shape of Bea huddled closer to her, resting her head gently on her shoulder. Allie stayed completely still for a few moments, not wanting to wake the older, peacefully sleeping woman. Eventually she turned her head, her heart swelling as she studied every little feature of the redhead's face. Allie was sure she'd never seen her look so content. Like she didn't have a care in the world. She'd dreamt about this moment, waking up to this very sight. In completely different circumstances obviously but still, the goosebumps took over the blonde's whole body. It was nice. It was something she'd never experienced before with anyone and she wanted to saviour it for as long as she possibly could.
"Allie," Bea's voice, laced with a husky morning tone broke Allie from every thought running through her mind. The redhead smirked, her eyes still closed before she continued on. "Take a picture, it'll last longer,"
"Sorry. I was just, I mean I was..." Allie stuttered, struggling to form a sentence of words together. Her cheeks were flush, embarrassed at being caught and she couldn't come up with any explanation or excuse so sighed loudly. "Sorry,"
"It's alright, I'm joking," Bea chuckled, finally opening her eyes. She wouldn't admit it out loud but she secretly loved the fact Allie had been so deeply engrossed in her features. No one had ever done anything like that with her before. "How're you feeling, you ok?"
"Hmm. Except the headache, that's pretty rough," she answered, pausing for a moment as her mind focused on the fact that Bea's right arm was still securely draped across her waist. She'd had the opportunity to move it, to break all contact and move away but she hadn't. "You really stayed with me all night?"
"Yeah," she nodded, fighting a yawn from escaping her lips.
"You... You didn't have to do that,"
"I know," Bea agrees. "But I wanted to,"
"Thank you,"
Equally, they smile at one another, both falling into a somewhat comfortable silence for a few minutes. Bea shut her tired eyes again and the blonde found herself watching once more, slowly moving her head from the pillow before cautiously and gently resting it on Bea's shoulder. Despite everything, all the things Bea thought since the attack on her, all the harsh words that left her lips, she stood strong by Allie's side when she needed it most and she didn't leave. Not once. It was something Allie wouldn't ever forget. Unfortunately, both woman were interrupted from their spell of peace and quiet when raised voices were heard outside Allie's cell.
"Bloody hell," Bea sighed loudly, rolling her eyes as Boomer and Sonia continued. "I should get up, see what's going on out there,"
"Don't," Allie whispered suddenly, lightly placing her hand on Bea's arm as she tried to take it from around her. Waking up to her, having her body so close, her arm around her protectively, it was too perfect a moment to cut short. "They'll sort out whatever is wrong. Can't you just stay here with me for a bit longer?"
"Ok," the older woman replied pretty much instantly, picking up on the pleading tone of Allie's voice. She still needed her here and couldn't bring herself to say no. She settled down again, readjusting the duvet over both of their bodies. "I guess I can stay until morning count at least. Did you sleep ok?"
"Better than expected. I probably tired myself out," Allie added, her eyes filling with tears. She blinked quickly in an attempt to hide them, to fight them back but Bea noticed and lifted her hand, softly running her thumb across the younger woman's cheek. That action only gained a more audible sob. "I didn't want you to see me like that,"
"It's ok,"
"It's not ok. I was a mess. I was as close to rock bottom as I could possibly go, I wasn't even me anymore and I hate that you saw that,"
"I hate how you saw me in the kitchen, after Ferguson,"
"It's not a competition,"
"I know," Bea chuckled briefly, her thumb still caressing Allie's tear stained cheek. She traced down her face gently stopping at her lips. "Allie, look at me,"
"Bea,"
"Shhh. Just let me talk for a minute. I couldn't help Debbie, I was stuck here and I lost her because I couldn't get to her," she stopped herself, swallowing the lump that had appeared rapidly in her throat. Allie's eyes never left her, like Bea had asked for them not to do. "I'm not going to lose you too,"
"I'm so sorry Bea,"
"I know you are. I'm sorry too,"
"Why?"
"For not believing you," she answered simply. "For letting Kaz get under my skin, for believing her when she said you only used me so they could get to me,"
"I could never fake how I feel about you,"
"That's what Maxine said,"
"It was never anything to do with Kaz. I got close to you because I wanted to, despite what that would mean for me and her," Allie's fingers found Bea's and she entwined them, softly and reassuringly squeezing as she did so. "I didn't care about that, if it meant being with you,"
"I'm nothing special,"
"You are kidding me, right?"
"A murderer, a lifer,"
"I don't see you like that," Allie answers honestly. "And in case you haven't noticed, I'm in prison right with ya, a drug taking ex prostitute,"
"We're quite a match," Bea managed a smile, one that Allie returned.
"A perfect one if you ask me," the smile still beamed on the young blonde's face. "You had your reasons for what you did, everyone knows that. None of it makes you a bad person,"
"No?"
"No. I've never known strength like yours,"
"You said that to Westfall, in the slot,"
"Yeah,"
"You also said it was bullshit,"
"Well, I lied. You're the strongest, bravest person I know,"
"You're pretty strong too," Bea adds, tracing her index finger down the side of the blonde's face. "I should have believed you when you told me,"
"It's not easy when you've been hurt before, I get it," Allie accepted, enjoying the soft touch on her cheek. "She said things to fuck me up, to keep us apart. When I found you, I've never been so scared my whole life, I thought you were gone and I just went into blind panic,"
"You saved me,"
"I thought you couldn't remem,"
"I went to see Mr Jackson, he told me he did take over from you," the redhead explains, glancing into Allie's perfectly blue puddled eyes. "You kept my heart beating,"
"I couldn't bring myself to give up on you," she admits softly then manages a light chuckle. "I didn't even know what to do,"
"Well, it worked. I'm still here,"
"I really have missed you,"
"I know," Bea nods, watching the younger woman's face give a hint of disappointment when she didn't immediately hear the response she wanted. It wasn't like before though, there was no guard, no need to pretend she wasn't feeling exactly what she was. Bea was there, completely open and ready to give a little more of herself out to the person she cared for the most. "I really missed you too,"
"Really?" Allie beamed and the redhead nodded, giggling at the reaction. "Say it again,"
"What? Why?"
"I just got the funniest feeling right here when you said it," Allie confesses, chuckling as she guides her lover's hand onto her stomach, her breath hitching in her throat when Bea's hand slips underneath the fabric of her t shirt.
"All this," Bea begins hesitantly, her fingers lovingly tracing circle shapes on the blonde's perfectly toned stomach. "It all still scares the shit out of me though,"
"I know. That's why I'm happy to take things as slowly as you want. There's no pressure, not for anything,"
"It's just everyone before, well, Harry he... "
"Bea, it's alright. Not everyone is like him, I'm not like him," Allie reassures, lightly pressing her lips to the other woman's cheek. "I'd never hurt you, ever. All I want to do is make you happy, make you smile everyday,"
"Tsskkk,"
"What?"
"How did someone like you end up in a place like this?"
"Someone like me?" Allie repeats, hoping for some sort of elaboration.
"Beautiful, smart, kind hearted. You're so much better than here,"
"Full of compliments this morning, aren't ya?"
"I mean it," she insists, losing her fingers in Allie's hair for a moment. "After the count, come with me to the showers, I'll do your hair for you,"
"Really?"
"Hmmm," Bea hummed. "Should be quiet enough to have the place to ourselves,"
"Aren't you worried what people will say?"
"Not really," she shrugged. "I don't want to hide in that bloody closet with you anymore. Let people talk, they'll find something else to discuss tomorrow, they always do in here. I'll start with that lot out there, Maxine already knows about us and totally loves you by the way,"
"Well, why wouldn't she? I am pretty awesome," Allie joked, making the redhead laugh.
"Booms will be Booms and she'll ask so many inappropriate questions, so prepare yourself for that,"
"She's funny. When she's not trying to bash me in the showers that is,"
"Yeah, I've still to have words with her about that,"
"Babe, it's fine," Allie laughs at her lover's protective instinct kicking in. "She was protecting you,"
"Hmm. She's just a little over eager sometimes,"
The call for morning count disturbed them both from a place they could have comfortably stayed all day. They reluctantly parted, Bea placing a gentle kiss on Allie's left cheek before quickly scurrying across the floor of H1 to stand in position outside her own cell. Within ten minutes, morning count was over and as soon as it was, Boomer, Liz and Sonia broke into conversation, Maxine following in a few seconds after the rest. Bea went straight back over to Allie.
"Come on,"
"Are you sure about this?" Allie found herself questioning, glancing down to Bea's hand that was reaching out for her. She simply nodded and Allie stepped forward, clasping her lover's hand in her own. That alone felt great.
"Hey guys, listen up," Bea announces, grabbing her friend's attentions. During the brief pause she took, she felt Allie gently squeeze her hand. They were Bea's closest friends for sure but it was still a big step for her to take. Allie knew that. "Everyone's going to find out anyway but I wanted you lot to be the first to know, Allie and I, we're together,"
"Nice one," Maxine mouthed silently, winking in her friend's direction.
"Like, together together?" Boomer raised her brow in surprise, Allie found herself giggling before Bea confirmed. "Fucking hell eh. Didn't know you were a fan of the muff Bea,"
"Yeah, cheers Booms," Bea rolled her eyes.
"Good for you, love. Nice to see you with a smile on your face again,"
"Thanks Liz,"
"Hey listen," Boomer started almost nervously, stepping forward to properly engage with the blonde. "I'm really sorry you know, for the showers thing, I just thought you were helping the freak and,"
"It's alright, Boomer. I know," Allie smiled, accepting the apology given to her. "You were protecting Bea. She's lucky to have such amazing friends around her,"
"Yeah. Well I just wanted to say sorry and say it won't happen again,"
"Should hope not Booms," Bea responds, playfully yet protectively placing her arm around her now girlfriend's shoulder. "Actually Booms, have you got a minute?"
"Sure,"
"What are you up to?" Allie questions curiously.
"Nothing," Bea answers innocently, pecking the blonde's cheek quickly. "I'll be right back,"
With Bea disappearing off with Boomer, Allie sat herself down at the table after helping herself to a glass of water. She was only sat in her own company for a minute or two.
"You alright hun?"
"Yeah," the blonde nodded towards Maxine with a beaming smile. "Yeah, I really am. Bea told me what you said to her, about not playing her, thank you,"
"Just told her what I saw," Maxine adds. "I've never seen her like this before, so happy. You're good for her,"
"She's good for me too,"
"Don't worry about Kaz, alright?" Maxine says suddenly, watching Allie's face change slightly as she denied it. "Hun, you are a little, I can tell but it's ok. Bea won't let anything happen to you and neither will any of us, myself included,"
"You should be taking it easy,"
"Strong as an ox me,"
"Seriously, how're you feeling?"
"Tired but ok, got my second round of chemo later and they say it's worse than the first,"
"You'll be alright," Allie quietly reassures her new friend, resting her hand on top of Maxine's who returns an appreciative smile. "I've got my sentencing today too,"
"It might not be so bad,"
"Can I be honest with you?" She asks, Maxine nods immediately. "I'm only thinking about Bea. Like, it sounds so crazy but I don't just want months with her. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me, I actually won't care if I get years thrown at me,"
"Love makes us want crazy things,"
"Like longer sentences in prison," Allie jokes, causing brief laughter between both woman. "When do you leave?"
"Just before breakfast,"
"Good luck. I'll be thinking of ya,"
"Hey you two," Bea reappears, gently rubbing her hand against the blonde's back. "You ready? If we leave now, we'll be done just before breakfast,"
"Yeah, I'll just go grab my shower bag,"
"What?" Bea chuckled as Maxine's gaze focused firmly on her as soon as Allie left the table.
"You've smiled more in the last ten minutes than I've seen you smile the whole time I've been here," she pointed out with a grin. "It's nice to see,"
"Not sure it would have happened without your little push, so thank you and I haven't forgotten about today, I'll be thinking of you,"
"Thanks Bea, I'll be back this evening, providing all goes well," Maxine added as Allie reappeared in her shower robe, clutching her wash bag. She smirked, spotting her friend's mouth hang slightly open at the sight now before her. "If you two want to make it back for breakfast you better make moves instead of standing there staring at one another,"
"We're going, we're going," Bea announced pulling herself together to gently tug at Allie's hand. "You ready to step outside the closet with me?"
"With you, I'm ready for anything,"