September 3, 1865
Rock Creek
Louise McCloud stood on the hill above her farm. To one side, the sun was slowly beginning to drop from the sky, painting the landscape in vivid colors. To the other side, the clouds were thickening and growing ever dark. Her shoulders slumped. Why did it not surprise her that the storm clouds were gathering over her farm? She looked at the sunset, feeling the wild temptation to just cut and run. To literally run away.
Back when she rode for the Pony Express, she had often used the long hours in the saddle to contemplate her life and the future. She always tried to turn anything negative into a positive. Beans again for dinner? At least she had dinner. She'd been hungry enough to make foolish mistakes before. Kid trying to be overprotective? At least she knew that he loved her. She'd been totally alone before, and love was something to be cherished.
She absentmindedly wiped a tear from her cheek. What she wouldn't give for his overprotective streak right now. She hadn't been able to afford to buy any horse flesh to start their ranch after he left for the war, so she had tried to take up farming. The moderate success she experienced in the beginning only made her eventual failure that much more bitter. Her first crop had been small, and most of her profits went back into supplies and tools for the next year. She continued to reinvest whenever she sold her crops. But then the locusts came. A very promising crop had been stripped by the swarm of insects. That had hurt. The following year was plagued by drought, resulting in only a few, sickly-looking plants. The next year's crop seemed to be back on track. And then the hail storm came. All her savings had to go to repairs on the house. Replacing windows and the roof, as well as some of the siding, meant she had nothing left to invest in future crops.
Her eyes scanned the land around her tidy little house, settling on the patch of green peeking around the back corner. She managed to grow a small garden to feed herself, but she had been forced to find other ways to make a living. Mending clothes, working whatever odd jobs she could get in Rock Creek, and, worst of all, scrubbing floors. Actually, she corrected herself, while the floor scrubbing was quite bad, it still wasn't as bad as when she tried to take in boarders. She had envisioned taking in some sweet, little, old ladies or single mothers with young children. Maybe even a saloon girl who was trying to better herself. Instead she had ended up with crabby, old Mrs. Winter, a woman whose heart was as cold as her name. Mrs. Winter had scared off her decent tenants with her gossip-mongering and lies, not to mention her incessant whining and shrill complaints over non-existent problems.
As painful memories roared to life again, she turned away from the white house and its welcoming front porch. Her house seldom felt like a home after all that had happened. Her mind drifted back to the noisy days of sharing her life with strangers. Eventually Lou had been forced to take in less desirable boarders just to make ends meet. And when Zeke Claymore had the temerity to suggest a romantic liaison, she thought slapping his face sent a clear message. He had apologized and left her alone... For a while. A few nights later she awoke to the sounds of someone attempting to pick the lock to her bedroom door. She was a light sleeper, so this gave her plenty of time to be ready for Zeke's appearance in her room. He knew she was unwilling, and that wasn't enough to stop him. Fortunately for Lou, he was convinced a split second after the bullet left her gun.
Shuddering involuntarily at the memory of his face and the rattle of his last breath, Lou wrapped her arms around herself. Teaspoon had threatened to arrest her for murder. Unless she agreed to stop taking in boarders. She knew the marshal was bluffing, but was happy to have the excuse. Of course she ranted to him about the unfairness of it all, but they both knew it was a relief to her. She knew Teaspoon was worried about her. Hell, she was worried about herself too.
When Kid left to fight in the war, he took her heart with him. She just wasn't herself without him. And while she wrote him long letters pouring out her heart, she never confessed how detached she seemed to be without him there. Somehow she had let him change her. It wasn't that he changed her into a fragile damsel who couldn't cross a street on her own, it was somehow worse than that. Worse and better at the same time. She was still Lou, but she was half of Lou and Kid.
Glancing over her shoulder toward Rock Creek, she couldn't help but notice the wildflowers painting the meadow around the town. With tentative fingers, she reached up feel the crown of Queen Anne's Lace that she had woven absentmindedly as she walked home from dinner. Lou smiled thinking about the visit she just had with Rachel. They had sat in companionable silence for most of their shared meal, until her friend had reached out and covered her hand with her own. She looked into eyes of the woman who was like a big sister to her and saw only love and concern. And that's when something happened that had never happened before. Not when her momma died. Not when Wicks had stolen her innocence. Not even when Kid left for the war. That's when Louise McCloud finally broke down.
Looking at the bright side of her life was becoming harder and harder, she'd explained to Rachel. Somewhere along the way, Kid had become vital to her. Despite her best efforts to remain independent and strong, she realized that once Kid began to accept her on her own terms it actually made her stronger. His love and support made her feel invincible. But the longer he was gone, the more she felt his absence.
Rachel had teasingly inquired after her young friend's legendary will of iron. Lou sighed as she remembered her retort. "It's rusting."
She felt as if her essence were corroding. Everyday it seemed she faced another rainstorm, and everyday the rust crept deeper into her soul. Eventually she would be so brittle and broken that she would simply shatter under the next blow. She had been so strong for so long, building a future on each and every failure. But then the notice came.
Kid's last letter had given her hope that he would be home soon. He'd been wounded, but he assured her it wasn't that serious. It was however just enough to get him sent home. He was already in Tennessee, so it shouldn't have been long until he was home again. She had practically danced on air every time she read his letter. Then came the notice that he had been taken prisoner. She'd tried to find out where he was held with no luck, until finally word came from Cody. And his news was almost worse than not knowing. Her beloved Kid was being held at the Rock Island prison.
Though she never received any letters from him after that, she continued to write. She continued to share her life with him. She even wrote of her dreams for their future together. Her letters became a bit of a joke in town. Tompkins would gently tease her about buying up all his paper and ink. Paper wrappings would soon be repurposed as stationery. She had even taken up drawing to be better able to share her daily life with Kid. She spent hours mending her worn garments to extend their life, all so she could save money for stationery and postage. But then another notice came.
We regret to inform you...
And just like that, like mailing a letter to a stranger, he was gone. They had been apart longer than they'd ever been together, but she wasn't sure how she would live without him. Every trial she'd faced had just been another experience that passed the time until he came home. She'd get through a rough patch by thinking how she would tell the story to Kid when he got home. She thought of ways to make what felt like tragedies into something comical, imagining how his bright blue eyes would dance with amusement. She would leave out some of the details, after all it wouldn't do to upset him. But she would leave enough in to bring out his protective urges, something she missed now that she was alone.
But it was all just a joke at her expense. Every time the storms of life came she'd been looking toward the heavens, searching for rainbows. Maybe if she'd spared a glance down, she wouldn't have missed the rising floodwaters. She'd dismissed the idea of planning for anything other than a happy reunion, refusing to consider any other possibility. Now the future stretched out before her, long, bleak, and lonely. It had been a year since she received notice of Kid's death and a year since her own heart had felt life within it.
And so she found herself looking at her lonely house, twisting a strand of her long hair and pondering the possibility of running away. She knew she would be missed. They might even look for her for a while. They'd never find her. Well, Jimmy might. He'd always known her better than anyone, aside from the Kid. All the possibilities swirled through her head. California. Mexico. Canada. New York.
She studied her house again with an artist's eye. She remembered sketching it when the flowers were blooming. She'd lived on potatoes for a month to be able to afford the art pencils to add color to the drawing. That drawing had been her best ever, and she sent it off to Kid proud that she could send something of beauty to brighten his bleak days. She'd received word of his death two days later. He never saw her masterpiece.
The gray clouds over her house stretched toward her. She looked again toward the sunset, the vivid colors she'd enjoyed earlier were being erased by the gathering gloom and the approaching night. She took a deep breath and held it in before slowly releasing it. At the same time, she released the urge to run away. She could practically hear Kid's voice telling her not to give up. The grass ain't always greener on the other side, Lou. It's greener where you water it.
She felt the tickle pull at the corner of her mouth. Then her chin began to quiver. Finally she laughed out loud. She'd certainly had enough rain to keep all her acres green. And if she ran away, the rain would simply follow her. She reckoned she could rust anywhere, but if she stayed here at least she could keep a part of Kid. Maybe tomorrow she would talk to Teaspoon about starting the ranch her husband had dreamed of his whole life. It was a dream they'd shared, and it was about time she tried to make good on it.
Turning her gaze to the barn as she pondered the work necessary to start Kid's horse ranch, she felt the cold droplet of rain strike her nose. She looked up to the heavens with a mixture of resignation and mirth. Of course it would rain. Why wouldn't it? She laughed out loud again and threw her arms wide. Slowly she began to spin around, giggling as the rain picked up. If the residents of Rock Creek could see me now, they'd swear I was a lunatic!
Despite her show of gaiety, she felt a prickle of awareness on the back of her neck. It was as if one of Rock Creek's residents were indeed watching her right now. She slowly came to a stop, her head still spinning. Her eyes struggled to make sense of her jumbled surroundings. She knew now that she wasn't alone.
She squinted through the rain and gloom, discerning the shape of a man near the barn. They both stood frozen in place, studying each other. She took a tentative step forward and spied the man's confederate gray trousers and coat. Her small hands flew to her mouth. Kid!
He took slow, limping steps toward her and pulled off his hat. She could see the tousled curls from across the yard and knew that below them she would find the blue eyes that haunted her every dream. And then she ran.
They met in the middle with a crushing embrace. Clinging to each other desperately, each feared that when they pulled away this moment would disappear like a wisp of smoke. Finally Kid pulled back just enough to look in her eyes. She knew then that she would be content the rest of her life, no matter what the future held, as long as she had those bright blue eyes to look into each day.
She pulled his head to hers, kissing him deeply. Years of longing passed between them in that kiss. Years of passion. Years of wondering. They gasped for breath, his forehead resting against hers.
"When I didn't hear from you for the past year... I was so afraid." His voice was raspy and uneven. "I was afraid that one way or another you were gone."
She pulled back at his words, scanning his face and trying to understand. "But word came a year ago that you died."
They looked at each other in wonderment. In one manner or another they had both risen from the dead that day. Again they clung to each other, fervent words and frantic kisses passing between them as they each tried to reassure themselves that the other was alive and well. Several minutes passed before Kid again pulled back, noticing for the first time that Lou was soaked to the skin as the rain continued to fall.
"We best get you in the house, you'll catch your death here in the wet!" He tugged her toward the front porch as she laughed at his choice of words.
"Oh Kid," she sighed happily. "As long as I have you with me, I couldn't care less about being wet." Grabbing his collar she pulled him down for heartfelt, heated kiss. "Bring on the rain."
This was inspired by the JoDee Messina song by the same name. My most heartfelt thanks go to Beulah for her help and encouragement. :)
Bring on the Rain
Another day has almost come and gone
Can't imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war ('cause)
Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
It's almost like the hard times circle 'round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
And I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead (no)
Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
No I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight ('cause)
Tomorrow's another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain
Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
(Bring on, bring on the rain)
No, not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
So bring on the rain