This is some cracky thing I came up with when I was watching a program on Scotland. I was wondering why there wasn't a fanfic about Poland and kilts, so I decided to make one myself after doing some research. I don't mean to offend anyone with this! This was all in good fun. Dx Plus, I'm sure that Poland would love wearing a kilt, especially since he doesn't have to wear underpants with it. xDD
Warnings: Just some LietPol and underwear-less Poland
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HETALIA
Poland's, Like, Totally Awesome Manskirt!
"Lieeeeeet!"
Lithuania looked up from the kitchen. "Oh, hello, Poland!" he said, plopping the cepelinai in the boiling pot. "I didn't expect you to come home this early. How was your trip?"
For the past week, Poland had been at England's house talking about trading agreements and monetary values and the number of Poles immigrating to the United Kingdom. He knew that it would be very tiring talk for Poland, and the Pole would be bored the first step he took on English soil.
"Like, totally awesome!" he exclaimed.
Lithuania blinked. That was different. He heard the thumping of Poland's feet going up the stairs, the thud of his suitcase behind him. Strange. Normally after a boring diplomacy trip, Poland would throw himself into his arms, kiss him senseless, and within minutes, Lithuania would stop what he was doing and carry him off to the bedroom (if they were patient enough). But not today.
Lithuania shrugged and stirred the dumplings. Poland didn't sound very tired. Maybe he just wasn't in the mood. He heard more thumps and thuds from the bedroom above him.
"Did you do anything exciting?" he asked, as Poland went down the stairs.
"Not at first. England's just so stuffy and such a prude." Poland's voice floated into the kitchen. "But, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Liet, you know what? You know what?"
"What?"
"Naw, I'll just show you!"
Lithuania was puzzled. "Show me what?" Did Poland find some new skirt or something?
"Ta-da!" Poland's shoes clinked as he skipped into the kitchen doorway. "Liet, look at me! Look at me!"
He turned around, his jaw dropping to the floor.
Poland was wearing a skirt, but it wasn't like any skirt he had ever worn before. For one thing, it actually reached his knees. It was set in a white and red tartan pattern, with some pink where the lines crossed, and there was a fur pouch dangling in the middle. There was something about that skirt, something so hardy and...virile, even for a skirt.
Poland looked absolutely ecstatic.
"Liet, Liet! Don't you like it?" he exclaimed, swaying his hips a little.
Lithuania was still in shock. "Um...Poland, where did you get that?"
"Well, England was so boring, as usual, at least while sober, but when I was at his house, I saw Scotland again! We, like, haven't seen each other in ages!"
Scotland? Lithuania didn't know much about the red-haired country, except that he was one of England's brothers. He had seen him on occasion when he visited England's house and sometimes at world meetings following England or Ireland around, but he had never directly interacted with the Celtic nation. He knew that Poland and Scotland had very good relations from a long, long time ago.
"Oh, really?" said Lithuania, still reeling from the giant skirt. "Scotland gave it to you? Does Scotland wear skirts too?"
Poland gasped. "Liet!" he shrieked. "This is totally not a skirt! It's a kilt—a manskirt!"
"...A what?"
"A kilt!" Poland twirled around. "Ya know, what th' tottl'y cool Scots wear, m'laddie!"
Lithuania wanted to shake his head and put his face in his hands. Poland did not just attempt a Scottish accent.
"A-anyway, did you do anything else?" Lithuania asked, going over to the sink to drain the cepelinai and wanting to get away from the topic of the kilt.
"No, not much. England and I just talked most of the time, and it was so boring. I wanted to go over and chat with Ireland, but my boss said no." Poland huffed. "Anyway," his face brightened, "Liet, do you like my kilt?" He put his hands on his hips. "Scotland made it especially for me! Isn't it so manly? I can practically feel the testosterone coursing through my blood!"
"Wait...men wear those?" Lithuania said in shock, whirling around. No wonder why Scotland and Poland were such good friends!
"Of course, Liet!" Poland said, rolling his eyes. "Skirts aren't just for girls, you know! Like, kilts are only for men! They're so awesome! Liet, do I look good in it?" He gazed at Lithuania with such exuberance, Lithuania didn't have the heart to ruin it.
Lithuania smiled. "Yes, Poland, you do look good. And pretty manly too, I must say."
Poland giggled and nearly skipped over to him, throwing his arms around his neck. "Really? I do? Aww, thanks, Liet! You're totally my best friend!" He kissed his cheek and looked over his shoulders. "Umm, Liet?"
"Hmm?"
"I don't think there's enough cepelinai for both of us in there..."
"Oh, I'm sorry about that, Poland. I thought that you would be coming back tomorrow. Here." He disentangled himself from the hug and went over to the pantry. "I'll make some pierogies for you. Would you—?"
Poland shook his head. "Actually, I'm not that hungry. Scotland's cooking is, like, worse than England's. I think I ate something that was cooked in a sheep's stomach!" He shuddered and went through a few of the cabinets. "You know, I think I'll have some paluszki to settle my tummy. Ah-ha! There it is!"
Poland had to lean over the counter in order to get to his paluszki, which was deep inside one of the cabinets. While he was leaning over, his kilt rose up from behind, revealing—
Lithuania blushed furiously and averted his eyes. "P-p-poland, why aren't you wearing any underwear?"
The blond quizzically looked over at him, holding his paluszki bag close to his chest. "Lieeet, a True Scotsman never wears underwear under his kilt! Not that I really do that in the first place!"
Polish-Scottish Relations: Scots started to move into Poland during the 1500s, during the Golden Age of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. (But they mainly moved into Poland, which is why Poland is more familiar with Scotland than Lithuania.) During this time, the Scots were known in Poland as merchants, but were actually seen in all forms of occupations. Some migrant Scots stayed in Poland for good and integrated in Polish society. In fact, Scottish and Polish nobles married one another, and the Scottish royal family, the Stuarts, was good friends with the Polish royals. After the end of the Commonwealth's Golden Age and the partitions of Poland, Scottish migration to Poland pretty much stopped. But instead, Poles started to move to Scotland. In World War II, the Polish First Army Corps, made up of 40,000 escaped Poles was actually based in Scotland. However, after the Iron Curtain was raised in Poland and the rest of Eastern Europe, many Poles decided to remain in Scotland. Polish immigration waned again with the Communist government in Poland. However, with the dissolution of the USSR, thousands and thousands of Poles flooded into the United Kingdom for economic opportunity.
Poland's Comment on Ireland: Along with the United Kingdom, many Poles are now settling in Ireland, mainly the Dublin area. I can actually speak for this. When I went to Ireland in 2008, I saw so many Polish snacks and foods and magazines in Dublin.
Something cooked in a sheep's stomach: That would be haggis, a traditional Scottish dish that is cooked in a sheep's stomach. Poland's not exaggerating there.
No underwear: Traditionally, kilts are worn without undies ("True Scotsman"-style). Poland is happy~
So, yeah, I hoped you enjoyed this little oneshot! Bye~