Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or any of its characters, merchandise, TV rights, ect… (I think you get the point.) Nor do I own the song 'So In Love With Two' by Mikaila.
Summery
ONE SHOT – Hearts are fragile things, far too easily broken. So what do you do when people are playing tug-o-war with your own? And you're left like a child playing with broken toys. (Kai/Ming-Ming/Brooklyn)
Like all of my work this is just something that happened to float through the empty void inside my head. Like it or hate it please R and R as honest opinions are always welcomed, as are random acts of worship.
Lamb: Well this is an idea that came to me a while ago, it's just taken time to get it all sorted out.
Muse: Do you think with enough time we could sort you out?
Dedi: Ugh. Anyway this fic is dedicated to Iluvbeyblade cus she gave us 'The List'. So Iluvbeyblade this is for you.
Lamb: As always sorry for any bad spelling and if you feel the need to throw things at me please wait until I've hidden behind the sofa kay!?
Muse: On with the fic!
Never understood how she could,
Mean so little to so many,
Why does she mean everything to me?
Is it worth the pain, with no one to blame?
For all of my insecurities,
How did I ever let you go?
Broken Toys
"STOP IT!" Ming-Ming screamed, unable to decide whether to place her hands over her eyes to block out the sight of the two men she loved trying to rip each other to shreds or to cover her ears to stop the meaty crunch of bone on flesh ringing in her head.
Yells and wails filled the air, as the unfolding scene drew a bigger and bigger crowed. Guilt and self-loathing tore at Ming-Ming, this was her fault, it was all her fault. If it hadn't of been for her then none of this would be happening. She watched in horror as Brooklyn's fist connected with Kai's jaw, the blow forcing a grunt of pain from the others lips even as he was knocked backwards. But even as the redhead gave a tight-lipped smile, Kai's leg was already coming through the air, it connected with Brooklyn's gut knocking all the breath from his body.
Tears streamed form the bluenette's eyes as she tried to get close enough to stop the carnage, by interposing her small form between them if she had to. But strong arms had wrapped themselves around her and were holding her back, so all she could do was watch as others sort to stop the fight.
Crusher had managed to get a hold on Brooklyn, one massive arm looping round the redheads neck and with Rei's help managed to dragged him backwards, while Bryan and Tyson tried to get hold of Kai. Tyson managed to grip one of the Russian's arms, but Bryan was caught off guard when Kai's free hand smashed into his face, braking his nose. Undeterred Kai launched himself a Brooklyn and the two people holding him, dragging Tyson with him.
The group went down in a flurry of flying limbs, and quickly separated. Three figures got to their feet while Kai and Brooklyn remained grounded; desperately trying to kick or punch any part of the other they could reach. With a cry of effort Ming-Ming wrenched free of her capture and shoving people aside closed in on the two protagonists.
Time seemed to slow down as from nowhere a stray fist came flying through the air and smashed into the girl's face. The force of the blow knocked her off balance and she fell backwards hitting the ground with a hard thump. Her small gasp of pain and shock succeeded where everyone else had failed, and the pair that only a split second before had seemed total focused to trying to destroy one another broke apart.
Tension crackled in the air as two pairs of eyes flickered over Ming-Ming's face, the blood dribbling from her nose and pouring from the split in her lip. There was no way to tell whose fist it was that had done the damage, but each hopped fervently that it had not been them.
Brooklyn was the first to move, a tentative half step towards the bluenette who had by now got, all be it somewhat shakily, back to her feet. But as he moved so did she. At his approached Ming-Ming stepped back and then turning on her heel ran. She ran blindly, the where not being nearly as important as what she was running from.
My number one: There could never be no one like you,
How come I feel this way about,
My number two: Never tried to tell me what to say or do,
I'm so in love with two,
I don't want to push it,
I don't want to fight,
But this feeling keeps me up all night,
For a good hour or so, Ming-Ming wondered aimlessly alone half-deserted streets, the late summer sun beating down upon her. Her face was a stiff mass and every movement sent searing pain coursing through her. She had done the best she could, slipping into a public toilet and with damp paper towels had removed as much of the blood as she could, but there was little she could do about hiding the split in her lip.
It was stupid to feel sorry for herself, Ming-Ming knew. From the start she had known that her actions would lead to this, even if events had not gone the way she had thought they would. Tears stung the backs of her eyes and she hastily blinked them back. She would not cry.
A hiccuping sob caught in her throat and she could feel the every waiting darkness drawing closer to her. With trembling hands Ming-Ming pulled the small brown pill bottle out of her jacket pocket, and unscrewing the lid shook out one sky blue pill. She stared at it, sitting there on the centre of her palm, the unnatural colour even more obvious against the pale gold of her skin.
It was meant to help, that's what they had said. But nothing helped and everything she did was wrong. Every choice she made just ended up with more and more people getting hurt. Everything she touched turned to shit and every life she was involved with seemed to disintegrate before her eyes. Ming-Ming tilted her hand and watched as the small blue sphere fell through the air and spinning slightly on impact landed at her feet.
There were tears rolling down her checks and she couldn't even remember when they had started. With her free hand she brushed them away only to have more swiftly fall to replace them. Anger welled within her, the boiling mass of fury growing and filling ever corner of her being, until she thought she would burst with it. With a grunt of effort Ming-Ming threw the still open bottle from her, watching as pills flew from the open top. Their bright colour standing out clear and sharp as the bounced and spun across the concrete.
They were all the same. All three of them were broken, lives ruined and smashed beyond repair.
Brooklyn, slowly being destroyed by the darkness that filled him. Day by day she watched as more and more of the man she had known and loved was swallowed by the rising sea of madness. And hated the fact that there was nothing she could do to help him.
Kai, becoming more manic with Dranzer's loss. His possessiveness was bordering on a need to almost own her, nothing would satisfy him but to have her at his side 24/7. But still her heart ached at the thought of not being around him.
And then there was her. Battling the depression that had dogged her steps for as long as she could remember, but she was losing the will to fight. All she did was hurt people, including herself, and it had gotten to the point where it was too hard to go on. She was just too broken.
If I only could decide,
But I can't make up my mind,
I'm breakin' all my rules because of you,
You can tell me it's not right,
And it tears me up inside,
But the problem is I'm so in love with two,
Hey, hey, hey,
I don't know what to do,
Hey, hey, hey,
I choose the both of you,
Flash Back
"Hey, baby. Why are you crying?" Snuffling gently, Ming-Ming had been unable to answer and had simply shaken her head
"Shhh, it'll be Ok, I promise." Brooklyn held her close to him, rocking her gently. Holding her as if she were a fragile porcelain doll; chipped and nicked with a ragged crack through her forehead. A broken toy that had just been tossed away when it was no longer wanted.
Ming-Ming gulped and buried her head deeper into his chest as the tears fell thicker and faster. She heater herself for being this way, but there was nothing she could do. It was if a crack had split the world right down the centre and she was being dragged backwards into that ever waiting darkness. The more she fought and pulled against it the harder its grip on her became.
It was monsters under the bed all over again. The bluenette knew that there was nothing to be scared of but that didn't stop the fear, if anything it only made it worse. And so she sobbed hysterically clinging desperately to Brooklyn as if her grip on him were the only thing that was preventing her from tumbling into insanity. And all the while he held her, murmuring soothing nonsense into her ears and kissing away the tears that spilled over her smooth cheeks.
When at long last her cries had faded, when it seemed she had no tears left to spill, he carefully lifted her up in his arms and carried her to his room. Gently he settled her onto his bed brushed azure strands from her face and marvelled at how beautiful she looked to him even with her eyes puffy and red from crying. It was as if she were an angle that had fallen from heaven, fallen straight into his arms.
Slowly, as if he had all the time in the world, Brooklyn dropped his head and kissed first her eyelids, then her nose, her cheeks, until finally coming to the sweetness of her lips. He made love to her then, showing her in a way that words could not express just how much she meant to him. Would always mean to him. And then he held her tight in the quiet darkness of his room, listening to the steady thump of her heart.
"You know I love you?" his voice had been so soft she could barely hear it, but the words had brought a smile to her lips. "And I'll always be here for you, you can always come to me no matter what."
End Flash Back
My number one: You give me everything I need,
But some things still are better with,
My number two: He's the one that really makes me feel so good,
I'm so in love with two,
I don't want to push it,
I don't want to fight,
But this feeling keeps me up all night,
She had been so happy at the start. She had loved Brooklyn so much and knew that he felt that same for her, nothing had mattered as long as they had had each other. And then things had started to go wrong; there had been Boris Balkov and BEGA. Brooklyn had started turning in on himself, drawing away from her until she had felt isolated beyond reason.
Then there had been that spark whenever Kai looked at her, the way lightning buzzed up and down her spin when she felt his eyes flickering over her body. But she had done nothing, having promised to remain faithful to her redhead love no matter what.
But it had been so hard watching that first fight between that two of them. The violence of it had scared her and in defeat the hopeless look in Kai's eyes had made her heart bleed for him. She had watched as he had limped out of the arena, wanting so desperately to go after him, to offer reassurance and comfort. But she couldn't, it wasn't her place to do so. And then Brooklyn had been wrapping his arms around her and kissing her just as he used to.
In that moment she had thought she could forget that there had ever been anything wrong. With the victory Brooklyn's lust for life seemed to return, and she was happier than she could ever remember being. But like the dream that fills the long lonely nights, the new feeling faded all to soon.
Weary and battle scared, Kai had returned to the arena and challenged Brooklyn to face him once more. The horror she had felt as she had watched that fight still plagued Ming-Ming. The screams and roars of rage as both competitors fought with all that they had, refusing to give an inch. And then the internal darkness welling up inside Brooklyn, the black clouds that rolled across the landscape of his mind as he gave in to that seductive deadly power. But even that was not enough and the loss left him crushed and broken.
She vowed to stand by him, but it was torment to watch the festering of the madness that filled him. Loosing was the ultimate humiliation, and again he turned in on himself, blocking out the world and everyone in it. Each time Ming-Ming tried to get close top him he would flinch away or else look on her as if she were something that had just crawled out of the gutter.
The pain was unbearable, more than just losing a lover but losing her best friend too. So to hold off facing that pain she would spend her nights wondering from bar to bar, and club to club, hoping to drown out the feeling of hopelessness that filled her. It had been in one of those dark, cramped clubs that she had met Kai once more.
A combination of alcohol and emotional distress had left her and easy target for his advances, but even in the state she was in Ming-Ming could not deny that she wanted him. She knew she shouldn't have, and she most certainly knew she shouldn't have the second or third time, but by then the pattern was set. The circle was turning and she could no more have broken free than fly to the moon.
If I only could decide,
But I can't make up my mind,
I'm breakin' all my rules because of you,
You can tell me it's not right,
And it tears me up inside,
But the problem is I'm so in love with two,
But the problem is I'm so in love with two,
Hey, hey, hey,
I don't know what to do,
Hey, hey, hey,
I choose the both of you,
Flash Back
Cell phone pressed to one ear as she checked messages, Ming-Ming drove in the pitch dark of early morning, tears running freely down her face. His voice again, deep, raw, emotional, tore at her heart, and pummelled her defences. How was she going to survive without him? But how could she continue with him. The guilt and fear were tearing her apart. It was an untenable position. Impossible to continue. Impossible to imagine stopping.
He said he'd give her space. Wait for her to call when she needed him, and oh yes she would need him, he had promised her that. But he couldn't say how long he'd wait. How long, before he'd show up one day and take her – willing or not – force her to feel and remember what they had together.
His words made her shiver, partly in fear, partly in desire. He'd always had this effect on her. Since the moment they'd met. Before that, when nothing but the sound of his voice brought her close to orgasm and caused her heart to race. Part of her thrilled at the thought, while the rest of her was disgusted by how callously she was treating Brooklyn.
How could she make Kai understand … this love for him, deep, unnerving, unfading desire for him, was killing her. And the knowledge that there was no escaping the lie she was living, without permanently harming Brooklyn, or ripping out her heart by telling him goodbye … how do you say goodbye to your dream come to life? Your fantasy in flesh? How do you return to a life made even more dull by comparison. Existing instead of living?
She turned into the parking lot and stopped the engine, wiping tears from her cheeks and taking in a deep breath. Just another day. Get through one more day. Grabbing her bag and fishing out the door card, she stepped from her car and walked towards the darkened building, the sad echo of her shoes the only sound in the empty parking lot.
Ming-Ming pulled the door open as the lock light turned from red to green, and began to step forward when a hand slapped over her mouth and a strong body pressed behind her. She struggled in panic until she heard his soft, deep voice hushing her.
He turned and pressed her against the hallway wall, dark eyes boring into hers as heat rushed through her, and heightened her colour. Placing a hard kiss on her mouth, he growled out, "Fuck waiting."
Gripping her upper arm, he started up the steps, pulling her after him. She resisted slightly, but his fingers instantly tightened on her arm, and fear of bruising, or worse him letting her go, quickened her steps. At the top of the stairs, he glanced at the locked door and snapped, "Open it."
She looked at the red beam of light and frowned. Before he could react, she threw the card key over the staircase, and with her heart pounding, mumbled, "No."
The hard calculating look he gave her made her quail; it was the way his eyes seemed to look though her as if he could see things about her no one else would ever be able to. After what felt like a millennium, but in reality was no more than a handful of seconds, the snarl that twisted his lips relaxed. Gently he brushed a strand of hair out of her face and bending his head to her ear whispered, "Fine, have it your way then."
He took her right there in the hallway, not caring if anyone should see, not that there was much risk of them being observed at such an early hour. Ming-Ming tried to force herself not to respond to his touched, but she had missed him too much, he was the itch that she could never quite scratch. The addiction that held sway over her every waking moment.
Faintly her continuos whispered Brooklyn, but she was too lost to heed the call. Swept away by a tidal wave of emotion, a love to intense that it was almost violent and would leave her shaken to her very core. The wall was cold and unyielding against her back, and all Ming-Ming could do was cling tightly to him as the world around her fragmented and shattered. Her cries of relies muffled as she bit deep into his shoulder while the sound of him calling her name echoed in the chill morning air.
Then softly, tenderly Kai kissed her bruised and swollen lips, before pulling her tightly to him. He felt her body tremble in his arms and rocked her soothingly murmuring nonsense into her hair, telling her over and over how much he loved her while she sort to regain her grip on reality. After a long time he reluctantly pulled away and saying his goodbyes slipped away into the shadows.
Ming-Ming stared to the stop where he had become lost from her sight, his parting words echoing in her mind. "I won't keep sharing you with him, Min. You're mine and he can't have you anymore."
End Flash Back
Don't want to fight another night,
Just want to make it right,
C'mon,
Ooh, my number one, oh, my number two,
Somebody tell me what I'm supposed to do,
My number one, my number two,
Somebody tell me,
I'm so in love with two,
She had tired, tried so hard to end it all. Unable to pick between them Ming-Ming had told them both that it was over, that she just wanted to be on her own. But neither had been willing to listen to her answer, no was just not an option. There was no love their anymore though, of that she was almost sure. While her heart broke in two, confused and shattered by how much she cared for both of them, for Brooklyn and Kai she was almost curtain it had turned into just one more battle.
And she was just another trophy to be won.
Slowly she walked down the street where her cousin's house was situated; he was away on a sixth month round the world trip with his girlfriend so she had the place to herself, but the idea of walking into that cold empty house made her feel sick. She remembered how it had been in that front room, when she had confessed to Brooklyn that she had been cheating on him.
It had been so strange, and looking back she knew she should have seen the warning signs then. The way his light green eyes had darkened when she had told him it was Kai she had been sleeping with. A normal reaction would have been to scream and yell, to hit her even, but he hadn't. Instead he had simply crossed the floor to where she stood and ceasing hold of her upper arms kissed her roughly.
Ming-Ming's shock could not have been grater if he had of hit her. She could feel her whole body going limp under his hands, and could barely summon up the energy force oxygen into her lungs. All the while a voice in the back of her head said this was surreal and not the sort of reaction she had expected at all.
But then his fingers were trailing down her sides, seductive yet persistent, and thinking was proving so hard to do. His mouth was nibbling on the sensitive skin on her throat, homing in on what, after months spent exploring every inch of her, he knew to be her weak spot. Like autumn leaves, her clothes were falling to the floor around her, pooling round her feet as, still dazed be the direction things had taken, Brooklyn pulled her towards the sofa.
He was frenzied, seeming almost possessed, and even as most of Ming-Ming shrank away from this new, bordering on violent, side of him a small part of her thrilled, for surly this meant that he did still care about her.
They had lain in the dark holding tightly onto one another as the light from the dying sun painted the room in burning reds and golds. Lulled by the sound of his breathing and the feel of his arms rapped tightly round Ming-Ming had begun to drift off into sleep.
Her last memory before oblivion climbed her was Brooklyn whispering into her ear, "You're mine Mimi and I won't let him have you."
That had been the first time anyone had told her that she belonged to them, but it would not be that last. And too late Ming-Ming realised she was falling in love with Kai even as she still loved Brooklyn, and there was no one for her to turn to.
If I only could decide,
But I can't make up my mind,
I'm breakin' all my rules because of you,
You can tell me it's not right,
And it tears me up inside,
But the problem is I'm so in love with two,
With a trembling hand she pulled the key out of her jeans pocket and with difficulty inserted it into the stiff lock. There was a click, that sounded gunshot loud in the warm still air, and Ming-Ming pushed the door open with her shoulder and stepped into the empty house. In spite of the heat of the day, the house remained cold. Not the sort of cold that was caused by the absence of heat but more by the lack of life, it was a dead house. Lonely and abandoned, just as she felt herself to be.
Lost inside her own head the bluenette wondered from empty room to empty room. Was this what the meant when they talked about playing with fire? If it was then why did she feel like the one who was being played with?
Ming-Ming felt the tears start to fall once more, running over her stiff and bruised cheek, she had never meant for any of this to happen. Perhaps it would have been different if she'd been able to turn her heart off too, to be able to see the people around her as mere things to be toyed with. But she hadn't, while those she cared for turned colder before her eyes she just fell deeper in love.
She pushed open the door to her cousin's bedroom, at this time of day with it's east facing window, shrouded in gloomy shadows, but it did not cross her mind to switch on the light. The seme-darkness of the room, with the still lifeless air, seemed fitting to Ming-Ming somehow as she made her was to the chest of draws on the left-hand side of the bed, her cousin's side. As if an iron hand were squeezing at her heart pain burned through her chest as she looked down at the three framed photographs.
Closest to the front was one of a man in his mid twenty's, with blue/black hair and bright sea blue eyes, his arms round the waist of a pretty young woman with pale lavender hair and mint green eyes. Her cousin and his now soon to be wife. The second was one of his parents on their wedding day.
With her hand only slightly trembling Ming-Ming reached for the last of the photos. It was of herself when she was only six, sitting on the shoulders on her cousin, her small hands gripping tightly onto his hair to help keep her balance. She looked at it for only a moment before turning the frame over and pulling as the catches on the back. He could be so foolish at times. She knew he meant well, but had he really thought he could hide it from her?
And then there it was, lying back to back with the picture she had seen through the glass. The forth photo. A man and a woman looked smilingly up at Ming-Ming; his black hair, tanned skin and honey eyes contrasting well with the woman's porcelain skin, sea blue eyes and azure hair. They were her parents, and between them, her then slightly chubby face wreathed in smiles, was a younger version of her self.
Placing the photo beside her on the bed, Ming-Ming fixed the frame back together and replaced it on it's spot on the chest of draws. Then picking up her family portrait once more she swiftly left the room and moved down the hallway to her own. There she moved unerringly towards the wardrobe, her mind now filled with the image of the box her cousin had pushed into her unwilling hands before he left.
If I only could decide,
But I can't make up my mind,
I'm breakin' all my rules because of you,
You can tell me it's not right,
And it tears me up inside,
But the problem is I'm so in love with two,
Hey, hey, hey,
I choose the both of you,
Flash Back
"I don't want this!" Ming-Ming wailed in defiance, trying to shove the box back into her cousin's hands while a young woman with pale lavender hair looked on laughing.
"I don't care what you want Ming." He said pushing the box into her arms and glaring sternly down at her pouting face. "It's for your own protection, and anyway I'll feel better about leaving you if I know that you've got it."
"But Zack…" Her words trailed off under his pleading look. This was the down side of having a cop for a cousin; he was always worrying about her safety and so more to please him than anything else she reluctantly took the gun case and nodded at him.
"Thank you." He smiled down at her, before hugging her tightly. Ming-Ming returned the pressure while silently vowing not to use the handgun even if an entire gang of mass murders broke into the house.
End Flash Back
The hard metal felt cold and heavy as she cradled the sidearm almost lovingly in her lap. She knew the make, Zack had told her, giving her the specifics that she needed to know, but she could not remember a single word. In her youth she had learned how to shoot, she had prided herself on her ability when she had made it onto her Pony Club Tetrathlon, where she had to ride, run, swim as well as shoot. But now all she could recall of that time was how light those guns felt compared to the one she held now.
"Do you know what happens when the bullet hit's the brain?" The words, fuzzy and confused floated up from the depths of her memory. "Right between the eyes atop the forehead, no reflexive action, no motor response. You're dead before you knees even buckle."
Beside her on the bed her mobile hummed quietly as Kai's name flashed up on the screen, before falling silent and leaving the message '7 missed calls' on the small window. Tears stung at her eyes, clouding her vision as she bent over hugging the hard weight of the gun tightly to her chest. How was it she had come to this? What was it about her that had lead her to this moment; having her heart ripped apart by two people who felt nothing for her other than the need to possess her simply so the other could not.
All she wanted was for the pain to end, to stop feeling as if her world was falling down around her. For someone to hold her tightly, to kiss away her tears and tell her that they cared about her. Cared about her because they could not do otherwise. But there was no one to soothe her in the night when she woke; no one to tell her the monsters she saw weren't real. Because they were real and she was in love with them and it was slowly killing her.
Or maybe it wasn't, maybe she was already dead and just hadn't realised. Ming-Ming could feel the tingling in her limbs as her head swum dizzily. A sensation of weightlessness was filling her and she fancied herself a bright point of light caught among the sunbeams that were filling her west facing room. Mots of dust hung in the golden air, seemingly frozen in time, and in that stillness the sound of her flicking off the safety was almost deafening.
The barrel of the gun felt icy cold against her lips and she was struck by how vivid the contrast was between the feel of the hard metal and that of the warm velvet flesh she had once willingly taken into her mouth. It felt so heavy, heavier than anything she could remember as her lips parted to take the barrel into the warm cave of her mouth. Her hands no longer trembled, she noted absently, as her tongue delicately caressed the invasion, playing almost lovingly over the hard surface.
The cold hard metal that evaded the warmth of her mouth seemed the only thing left in the world that was real. The sharp contrast in sensation, the solid cool of the gun, the heat of her tongue flicking over the barrel was almost sensual. A deep sighing breath slipped past her lips, causing a light mist to form on the cool metal.
It was so simple; she wondered how she had not seen it before. The solution was so clear now she had finely found it. To deaden the pain and take away all the hurt that she inflected on those around her all she had to do was take away herself. Tears were falling from her eyes, but she neither knew nor would have cared if she did, beside her on the bed sat the photo showing the family that she had once been a part of.
If she could have had just one wish now, it would be to feel arms wrapped tightly around her just one more time. Mother or Father. A soft gentle voice to whisper in her ear and tell her how much they loved her and how important she was. Kai or Brooklyn. To have someone hold her tightly, someone to wipe away her tears and to kiss away her fears. Just some stranger on the street who didn't even know her name.
Her finger squeezed down hard on the trigger, the pounding of the blood in her head drowning out the sound. The thought filled her mind, that even though this was where they had lead her, that this moment was the culmination of the combined actions of the three of them, yet she still loved Kai and Brooklyn more than she could say. And perhaps, she thought as that darkness reached out to pull her down, she'd never been meant to choose between them.
Lamb: Strangely enough my head was all over the place.
Muse: Just like-
Lamb: Don't you dare finish that sentence!
Muse: I was just gonna say 'always'.
Dedi: Why do I not believe you? Well hope you liked it Iluvbeyblade.
Please R and R I'd love to know what you thought.
Big luv see ya
Lamanth
