A/N: Okay, I got this idea from talking about Aang being distressed over Appa in The Desert ep. when I wrote 'To Desire'. Written in Sokka's perspective. Please R&R. Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of the characters within it.
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The Greatest Earthbender
She was arrogant, rude, annoying, selfish, vindictive and even spiteful at times, but she was my best friend. She was tougher than me and could always put me in my place. I don't know how I even dealt with her, but I did.
I never usually cried, only on a rare occasion. When my mother died, I cried. When I had to watch my father leave our family to fight a century long war, I cried. When Yue sacrificed herself to save humanity, I cried. But when I watched my best friend leave this world; when I knew I'd never be able to talk to her again, or listen to her make sarcastic remarks, or engorge a feast with her, not only did I cry... something inside of me died. Something inside of me left and followed her even in death. It left me empty and cold.
I guess she was destined for death once we entered that cursed swamp. I saw Yue, who was long gone, and only a hallucination. My sister, Katara, saw our mother and she had perished years before. So if the Avatar, Aang, saw Toph, that must have been a sign. A sign that she would be just an image in a creepy swamp. Just a painful memory, a loss.
Toph was an unbelievable person. She wasn't a nice person, or a considerate one by any means, but she was unbelievable. She was blind and small, but she could hold her own. She could take down armies all alone if she needed to. She was the greatest earthbender. A power even the Avatar himself struggled with.
So why was it that she was marked for death? Why was it that I was sitting in my room in the South Pole dying inside and tears streaming down my face? They half froze as they did, but I didn't even notice. I couldn't stop crying. I was at a loss for words, emotion or feeling of any kind. I was just a body, now.
It was exactly like when we lost Appa in the desert. Aang was so distraught and whipped up. He eventually stopped having feeling at all. He didn't care about anyone or anything anymore. He told us to abandon hope because it was just a distraction.
But, he was right. Hope was a distraction. Hope was useless, and I had none of it. I was drained and emotionally gone. My soul and spirit were all with Toph, they were somewhere inaccessible to me.
Suki had surely noticed. When she tried to talk to me, I shooed her away. I loved her... I was in love with her. But I loved Toph more. Not like in the same way I loved Suki, but I definitely loved Toph more. I couldn't even talk to Suki about it. I couldn't talk to Suki, or Katara, or Aang. I could barely talk to myself.
I couldn't think about anything but Toph's death. She was too young, only 12 years old. She'd barely experienced anything in her lifetime. She hadn't loved or gone to school or had a normal childhood. She hadn't even maxed her earthbending ability. She could've been a legend. The greatest earthbender of all time - the only metalbender.
Suki expected me to propose to her after the war. She wanted to get married. But after Toph died, I couldn't even interact with anyone. My body became weak, I overexercised, I tortured myself. And I never slept. I didn't have dreams, only horrible nightmares. Toph suffocating. Toph drowning. Toph internally combusting. Toph being stabbed. Toph, Toph, Toph...
It'd been so bad I even considered suicide. I wasn't ready for a loss like this. I don't think I would've ever been ready. When mom died, I cried and beat myself up for a few weeks, but I cooled down over time. No. It's been almost a year since the day of Ozai's defeat, almost a year since Toph's funeral, Toph's expiration. I'm still gone. I should be marked as brain-dead and be killed. Because that's all I was.
I laid down on my bed and pulled out my wolf's tail.
Someday I'll be with you again, Toph. Someday, we can eat all the food we want and never get full. Someday, Toph...
But for now, I have to live.
I have to forget even though I'll never really forget.
If you understand, please give me a sign. Please tell me it's okay. That it's what you want.
I waited and about five seconds later my stomach growled. The noise actually sounded like 'Okay.'
I laughed, the first laugh in almost a year. The first emotion in almost 365 days.
Maybe, just maybe, I could heal.
