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It was cold when Lily woke up.
At first, she thought that was why she had awakened. Her flat was an icebox in the winter months. But as padded across the room to get another blanket, she caught the first- and very loud- strains of Blondie's Heart of Glass.
Who the devil is blasting that rubbish at this time of night? Lily thought, preparing to open her window to assault the offending clubgoer with an impressive range of expletives.
As she looked out the window or her flat, Lily felt her blood boil. Next to her little, beat up red roadster, a very flashy blue 1974 Jaguar was double-parked.
Leaning from the window, she hollered in the general direction of the affronting car. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"
A man stepped out of the car. "I'm parking, princess, what do you think I'm doing?"
"Some of us have to go to work in the morning, and can't wait for hungover idiots like you to move their double-parked car!"
"Sounds like a you problem, Ginge!" He sauntered off to an apartment building across the street.
"You're an animal!" she yelled at his retreating form.
"My pleasure, Your Highness!"
Lily closed her window, seething. She sincerely hoped for the insolent man's sake that the car was moved by morning.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
When Lily left her apartment the next morning, still bleary-eyed from a lack of sleep, she found that the offending car had been moved. Attached to the windshield of her roadster was a note. Lily picked it up, and read:
This is a one-time only deal, Princess. Don't get used to it.
Lily turned the radio all the way up, hoping that the loud music would hurt his possibly hungover head. I get no sleep, neither does your bratty behind. She slammed on the gas, and continued on to work in a stormy mood.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Lily slammed her bag on the counter. "Men are disgusting."
Marlene sighed. "This again? I thought we were over the 'men are animals' phase. Yes, what Snivellus did was very, very wrong. But you two weren't even dating. You weren't even interested in dating him. Isn't it a bit unfair to judge the entire male species by the fact that one guy insulted your lineage?"
Mary MacDonald came in from the back. "Agh-Lily- did you even brush your hair today? We still have ten minutes until the shop opens- sit down on this stool, I'm going to braid that bird's nest."
Lily did as Mary requested. "See, Mar? This is what I'm talking about. This," she said, gesturing to herself, "this is the fault of men."
Mary gasped, swiveling Lily's chair around to face her. "Lily, are you finally seeing someone? It's about time! Snivellus was ages ago, and everyone Mar and I have tried to set you up with have gotten the full ice queen treatment. Was it Benjy Fenwick? I thought I sensed a bit of a connection between you two-"
"Mary," Lily said in exasperation, "I was not with a guy last night. At least not in the way you're thinking of."
"Then why on earth did you come into our lovely bookstore looking like the cat dragged you in?" Marlene asked.
Lily related the tale of the night before.
"-and then this morning, I found a note on my windshield making it sound like I should be grateful for him moving his stupid, showy, rich-boy car!"
"What did this fellow look like?" Mary asked thoughtfully. "Maybe something could come out of this."
"I- I don't know. It was dark. I could only see that he was tall and his grin was one of a real moron. Once again, men are repugnant, and I hope I never have to see one again in my life."
The bell on the shop door rang, and Caradoc Dearborn entered, leering at Lily as he approached the desk.
"Hey, Mary, don't we have that thing to finish?" Marlene said suddenly.
Lily began to beg. "No, no please don't leave me with Caradoc, he's such a braggart, I really can't stand him, it's not an excuse this time, I promise-"
"Why, yes we do!" Mary replied, grinning widely, walking towards the back of the shop, Marlene trailing close behind, leaving Lily both fuming and alone with Caradoc Dearborn.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Lily was woken again the next night with a loud chorus of Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. Honestly, Lily thought sluggishly, if you're going to blast music at three in the morning, at least play something that isn't complete rubbish.
She blinked the sleep out of her eyes. Blasting music… three a.m… bloody hell, not again.
Leaping out of bed and back to the window, Lily found the same blue car double-parked against her roadster, but this time, the same tall man with the same insolent grin was leaning against his car, smirking up at her.
"Oi!" she shouted down. "Some people are trying to sleep up here, you prick!"
"I'm sure!" he said, just barely controlling the laugh in his voice.
Lily decided that approach wasn't going to work with him. "Did it ever cross your smug little mind that you might be interrupting something?"
"Wearing that? I hardly think so, princess!"
Lily looked down at her ratty flannel pyjamas and inwardly scolded herself. Of course you don't look like something's going on right now. New tactic. "I don't appreciate your tone of voice, sir! I have a boyfriend, and all sorts of things go on up here!" Was it her imagination, or did his grin just falter?
"Oh yeah? Prove it. Tomorrow night. Bring your bloke, Your Highness. I'll believe it when I see it. You have company, and I'll leave you alone."
"Deal," Lily said, without fully processing what she had agreed to.
"See you then, Ginge," he said, swaggering off towards his building.
Lily closed her window, and the reality of what she had just agreed to set in. What have I done? I have no boyfriend. I'm going to be stuck with this annoying twat forever!
Lily didn't sleep that night either.