He was watching the TV when suddenly Kate squeezed his shoulders from the back.

"Riiick.."

He turned his head to kiss her lips slightly. "Hey,Kate." He tried to sounded cheerful and falling miserably.

Yes, she could admit there's something wrong with his blue eyes they're paler than an hour ago. He was sick last week, and she knew what his eyes looks like when he's sick. Only, this one is different.
So she sat beside him, placing one hand on his thigh,hoping he's the one who break the silence.

"Is everything's okay ?"

"Um..yeah. I'm okay."

Hesitantly, Kate nodded. "Okay,then. I just baked some cookies for Alexis, do you want some ?"
She was surprised when he didn't answer. He was staring at the TV in front of him, not even blinked.

"Rick ?" She flashed her hand in front of his eyes.

"Yeah ? What ?"

"You're not okay. Tell me,Rick. What's wrong ?"

"I...I read your journal." He can barely looking at her face. No. He won't lose her over a journal.

"Oh." That was all she said. Really, that was all at the moment. She was speechless. Her journal contains sooo much about him. The good one,the bad one.

"You're...you're not mad ?"

"I- no I'm not. I would never mad at you."

I'm just upset.

"You write songs." He mumbled.

"I do."

Castle frowned. "Did I say that loudly ?"

"Loud and clear."

"You write songs about-"

"-about you. Yes."

"Even when I pulling away." She knew he felt guilty. But really,despite his jackass-ness , it was her fault. She wasn't tell him the truth,and clearly that's her fault.

"Rick,it's okay. Really." Said her with her best reassuring tone.

"No,Kate, I hurt you. You said sorry a million times for not telling the truth. I didn't say anything for my actions that month." He remembered his 2 failed marriages. Maybe this is why. And he won't repeat the same mistake to Kate.

To the love of his life.

"It's okay, Rick. You were hurting too."

"And you were too when I hurt you. I made it double just because I can. You have the right to choose your own direction. You were right, it's your life. And she was your mother . If it was my mother, I would do the same thing. You had hard options while I only have two forgiving or not forgiving. I'm so selfish, aren't I ?"

Without thinking, he stood up and punched the wall.

"I'm sorry,Kate. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for hurting that little I heart I would kill anyone who hurt that thing. Sorry for making my own conclusion without asking you the truth. Sorry." He started to cry.

"Sshhh,Rick... It's fine. It's over." She cried too in no time. He pulled her into his embrace, with one hand on her waist and another hand around her neck as if he was protecting them.

"What can I do to make you feel better ?" She whispered.

"Sing it to me. Your song the 'What-Have-I-Done' one. If you sing it to me, that will tore a bit of my heart. And that's all I want."

Kate shook her head. That was the worst idea she ever heard.

"I don't want to hurt you. Never."

"Then you don't want me to feel miserable all the time. Sing it to me. Sing it to me. Make it fair between you and me. Please. That's the only thing that will make me feel better." He pleaded.

"No."

"Please,Kate." The desperate look on his eyes touched her.

She ran her fingers through her hair.

"No."

Rick ran towards Alexis' guitar and handed it to her.

"Please,Kate. For me. Please."

And then, for the last time in her life, she hurt Richard Alexander Rodgers.

A/N : This plot was just flashed on my mind. English is not my mother language anyway, I'm sorry for the language-mistakes. Reviews are VERY appreciated.