Thinking Of You

Set during New Moon sorta. Edward has left and Bella went with Jacob. Things got a little to far and Bella still misses Edward. Now she's pregnant but not with Nessie. Disclaimer: "Thinking of You" owned by Katy Perry. Bella, Edward and Jacob owned by S. Meyer

I was sitting in my bed one cold night. Jacob would be over soon. A tear slid down my cheek. I didn't want him to come over. I loathed him right now. All I wanted was Edward but he was gone.

"Comparisons are easily done Once you've had a taste of perfection Like an apple hanging from a tree I picked the ripest one I still got the seed"

I constantly compared Jake to all of the times I had had with Edward. I had my taste of perfection and perfection left me. I picked Jacob to fill the space and I got all of him. Now, I have his seed… unwillingly, I have him.

"You said move on Where do I go I guess second best Is all I will know"

I could still feel the cold September air along my face as Edward told me to move on, to forget him. I didn't know where to go, who to go with. I went with Mike for a while and now I was with Jacob. I guess second best is all I will know because Edward was definitely the best I had ever had.

"Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you Thinking of you What you would do if You were the one Who was spending the night Oh I wish that I Was looking into your eyes"

Jacob entered my bedroom and jumped on top of me. He straddled me and began his bombardment on my body. I didn't think of him though. Whenever I was with him I thought of Edward. What would Edward do if he was spending the night? I closed my eyes and tried to imagine Edward on top of me. I could only get Jacob. I opened my eyes and all I wished was that I was looking into his topaz eyes…

"You're like an Indian summer In the middle of winter Like a hard candy With a surprise center How do I get better Once I've had the best You said there's Tons of fish in the water So the waters I will test"

I missed the summer Edward and I were together. It felt like the middle of winter but Edward's cold body and shimmering chest brought out the rays of sun down to earth. I could only compare him that day to a hard candy with a surprise center. He seemed hard and cold on the outside to some but shimmered in the sun which was a surprise that was only for me. I wondered how to make myself better that day. I still couldn't believe that after he had shared his secrets with me he would tell me to find another and throw him back like a fish. I tested the waters for others and none matched up.

"He kissed my lips I taste your mouth He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself"

While I thought of Edward, Jacob had stripped us of clothes. He kissed my lips. I tasted Edward's mouth. The coldness and flavor I craved since he left all of those months ago. Jacob grabbed my sides and pulled me in. I was disgusted with myself.

"Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you Thinking of you What you would do if You were the one Who was spending the night Oh I wish that I Was looking into..."

He continued and all I could think of was Edward. I was supposed to be his. We had made a promise. I was with Jake and I could only think of Edward and my disloyalty. I could only wonder if things would be different if he was spending the night.

"You're the best And yes I do regret How I could let myself Let you go Now the lesson's learned I touched it I was burned Oh I think you should know"

That night, once Jake left, I wrote in my journal.

Dear Edward,

God, I regret whatever it was to push you away. I know that you would say there was nothing I did but… well how could I not think that. I've learned my lesson. I touched the fire and was burned. Yes, I went with Jacob. I tried to move on but I could only think of you. Now… I hate to admit it but I think you should know.. I'm.. I'm… pregnant.

I closed the journal and cried.

"Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you Thinking of you What you would do if You were the one Who was spending the night Oh I wish that I Was looking into your eyes Looking into your eyes Looking into your eyes Oh won't you walk through And bust in the door And take me away Oh no more mistakes Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay..."

That night, once I fell asleep., I dreamt. I dreamt of the time I had just "shared" with Jacob but there was something different. Edward burst in the door and took me away. My nightmare with Jacob melted into a paradise with Edward. I was looking into his eyes and there were no more mistakes. I was with him and he was staying with me.