A/N: Okay, this is based off the 2.03. I was blown away by Tim Daly's amazing acting, portraying all that inner conflict with Henry! Also he mentioned on The Talk a few weeks ago that b/c of the secrets of their jobs, there is a slight 'rift' between Elizabeth & Henry. This is my response to what happened after 2.03 ended. It's a bit more angsty than I usually write, so hope you all like it! Reviews are always appreciated & welcomed. Sorry for the lame title though.

Henry desperately wished he could tell his wife about his day. It pained him when he saw the look in her eyes when she asked to talk about it and he couldn't.

He hated that look, but the one he hated even more was the one in her eyes when they had wanted him to testify against her for sharing classified information. Without question he was willing to go to prison for her. He was her husband, it came naturally. But just as he would do it for her, she of course was willing to do the same for him. She begged him not to lie. But he would do anything to protect her. He hated how she struggled. Hated that it split them. It was by far the most intense 48 hours of their lives. He didn't want to risk it again. He didn't want her testifying against him. He didn't want her making that choice. He didn't want her increasingly troubled relationship with the President to get worse by some scandal. He wouldn't risk it. He knew she understood.

He also knew there was something going on that she couldn't share with him. He could just tell. He knew her inside out. He saw that she wished she could tell him her secrets too. She'd shared everything she could about her day, her battle with Sterling and her concern for her new ally Gorev. Even though he knew she was more than capable of handling it herself, the carnal, protective man inside him wanted to pummel that guy for belittling his wife. On top of his internal struggle with Dimitri, it took every ounce of his self control to keep him from doing just that. To Dalton too, if what Sterling said about Dalton's opinion that she merely had a 'lucky' first year in office were true. She fought tooth and nail for every victory, she almost died for it!

He wasn't sure though what she wasn't telling him. If it had to do with Russia, or something else entirely. He found it odd, they were both workings with Russia they couldn't share with each other. He was confident if they could, it would be better. They could solve it together, like they did with Marsh. As individuals they were powerful, but together, unstoppable.

The whole day had his blood boiling. Deep in thought after she left, he finally decided on confession. It had been 11 years. But it was the only way he could get his feelings out.

He knew what he did to Dimitri was wrong. But he was a patriot. He did it for his country. He knew the situation with Russia was teetering, in danger of war. He liked his NSA work previously. Gathering information in secret. He didn't so much like the reverse, being the boss. It was something he wasn't anticipating when he took the job. He also didn't like how they went about recruiting people. He couldn't imagine if the situation were reversed. If someone was asking him to spy on his own country for another. He never would do it.

It was Dimitri's first reaction. Hell no. In that moment, Henry knew he was right about his choice to choose him over Ivan.

What he was doing now was for his country, but part of that was asking someone to betray theirs, and what's worse, using his sister's cancer as the bait. It was wrong. If there was one thing you never messed with it was family, or health. He hated using such a tragic situation against this poor young boy. A boy who looked up to him as a professor. He was probably now suspicious of every one of his teachers.

Maybe that was the problem. He had gotten to know Dimitri before Jane asked him to recruit him. He enjoyed having him in class. The kid had a bright future. Until he ruined it.

He thought long and hard about the torture drill. He hated that they did it, but he knew it was necessary. He hated watching even more. Dimitri asked him how he slept at night. He'd slept fine. Until now. Now he knew he wouldn't find sleep. The only thought that kept crossing his mind was Elizabeth. How wished he could talk to her about it. If anyone would understand that part of the job, it would be her. She approved similar things in her CIA days. She was as distraught about it then as he was now. Eventually it drove her to quit. But to his knowledge she never had to actually watch. He silently thanked god for that, he couldn't imagine her witnessing what he just had. He couldn't help but ask himself, did he cross his ethical line? Should he quit? What would his wife think if she knew the truth about this fresh blemish on his ethical record.

******Secrets******

He felt a little better after confession. He was at least able to confess his sins. But he still needed a release.

He arrived home to find Elizabeth pacing the bedroom. "Where have you been?" she demanded. She'd stayed at the White House longer than intended, deep in thought of how to fix all the problems that suddenly plagued her. But she finally left; angry, frustrated, confused and terrified. It would all be waiting for her tomorrow.

He didn't answer her. Instead, he forcefully pulled her to him, kissing her hard. His tongue demanded entrance to her mouth as his hands cupped her breasts through her clothing, squeezing them hard.

She finally pulled back breathless, looking at him, his hands still tightly gripping her breasts. It was almost painful. She saw something she hadn't seen in some time. Within his darkened pupils she recognized his deep, carnal desire for her, his primal need to literally fuck her brains out.

"I need you baby." he gasped, his hands pushing her ass into his, letting her feel his hardness against her center.

"I'm yours." she whispered. He had built up all this frustration and anger inside him. Whatever he couldn't tell her about work was eating him alive and she understood his need for release. Maybe she needed it too.

At her permission, he locked the bedroom door and tangled his fingers in her hair, tightly holding her head in place so he could kiss the life out of her. She gave him everything she had, her tongue forcefully dueled with his as their lips pressed so tightly against one another they could barely breathe.

His hands moved from her hair to her ass, squeezing her cheeks, rubbing himself against her as he almost lifted her from the floor. He walked them back to the bed, her knees buckling when she touched the mattress. He broke the kiss finally, undoing his pants as she fell to the bed. His rock hard member appeared before her eyes, and she reached out to grip him. He bucked in her hand once and swatted it away with a growl.

Climbing on top of her, his legs nudged hers apart and his shaking fingers nearly ripped the button from her pants as he tried to get them off quickly. When they were off he reached a hand to her center. She was getting turned on, but she wasn't nearly as ready as he was.

He growled and reached for the goodie drawer with one hand frantically searching for the bottle of warming KY, while he pumped himself with the other. He didn't have time to waste, there was a fire burning inside him. He hastily squeezed a generous amount onto his dick, using it to spread it across her center and slammed into her, hard.

She had to cover her mouth with her hand as she screamed. He felt so good.

He grunted when he entered her. He didn't give her a second to adjust, he fucked her like he meant it. Her body was literally moving with every thrust. She wrapped her legs and arms around him as she held on for dear life. Tears sprang to her eyes at the pleasure pain. It was right as the cusp between pleasure and too painful. But she knew she wouldn't come. It was too intense, she could do nothing but hang on for the ride.

Her nails clawed his back as he pumped, driving him wild. "Mmpph. Babe. So tight. Feels amazing." he mumbled, he was in another world, the only thing registering was the intense pleasure, momentarily pushing his demons away as he lost himself somewhere deep inside her.

He didn't last long. He came quickly, almost violently as she clenched around him. "-Lizabeth…" he moaned as he collapsed on top of her.

They both sucked in air for a moment, their chests heaving and his sweat dripped into her blouse. When he calmed a bit, he opened his eyes, noticing the tears streaming down her cheeks. He immediately reached for them, gently brushing them away as he cupped her face, terrified he'd hurt her. "You okay babe?" he asked, planting a gentle kiss to her lips.

She gave an exhausted smile and nod as she sucked in a breath. "Just intense…"

He grinned. He kissed her gently, feeling her begin to melt into him. His heart rate began to return to normal but he still felt her body shaking. But he knew she didn't come. He had to fix that. He kissed her softly for a long time, wordlessly thanking her, before moving his lips to her neck.

His hands cupped her breasts through her blouse gently this time. She lifted up her back just enough for him to remove it and her bra. Once she was naked he replaced his hands with his mouth, being gentle with her, sucking her nipples slowly.

A soft sigh escaped her lips and he moved to her center, darting his warm tongue against her hot center, tasting their juices. He slowly lapped them up, swirling his tongue in all the right places, finally settling on her clit. He teased her and she lifted her hips in appreciation. He continued his efforts, nipping her ever so gently with his teeth, finally sending her over the edge, applying gentle pressure until her waves of pleasure slowed.

With a smile he flopped down next to her in bed and she immediately adjusted herself to settle against him. It was an intense night and her body still craved his touch. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head. She shivered and reached for the comforter, covering their bodies as they cooled. down

After a few moments she looked into his eyes, hers glittering with concern. "You okay now babe?" she asked him, tenderly brushing her fingers across his chest.

He nodded, he was calmer, but his eyes were still clouded with despair. "Wish I could tell you."

Offering a soft smile she whispered. "Wish I could help."

"You did." he winked playfully.

A blush creeped on her cheek and she playfully swatted his chest. "Henry, come on…."

He didn't say anything for a while and she laid her head back down, comforting him as best she could. "Can you give me a hint?" she tried, hoping they could somehow talk around the subject like they did when she was in the CIA. But Henry was better at asking non-conspicuous questions. "I might be able to think of a quote for you…."

"Hey. That's my job, " he smirked and tried to change the subject. "What about you? You okay?"

"Don't change the subject."

She wasn't exactly okay, but she was more worried about her husband. It had been years since she'd seen him this distraught.

He tilted her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." she said, rolling over slightly to face him more easily.

"You think my ethics are sexy right?" he was dead serious

"Of course."

"Babe if I could tell you, I wonder if you'd feel the same." he turned away slightly, somewhat ashamed.

Her eyes glistened with fear. "Henry what's going on?"

"I can't tell you. I want to babe. Believe me because I know you of all people will understand. You've been here." It was the only clue he could give her.

He watched her mind race as she tried to figure out his clue. She had a couple thoughts, but she wasn't 100% sure and she knew he couldn't confirm or deny. So she looked him dead on and whispered. "Henry. You know what? I can tell you right now 100% I still think your ethics are incredibly sexy. You wanna know why?"

"Why?"

She reached for his hand, holding it tight and cupped his cheek with her other hand. "Because, if whatever is happening is causing you this much pain, I know you must be doing the right thing. If you weren't at all worried about the consequences and didn't question it, then that's when I'd be worried." she offered, and pressed her lips to his. "I love you Henry, that's never going to change."

He smiled gently and kissed her back. Her response made sense to him, he felt better. He felt good that he was questioning the decisions he made. It showed he actually had ethics, as opposed to what Sterling was doing to her! While he wasn't 100% sure he did the right thing, at least he was aware it might be wrong and he could think about his future decisions more closely.

"I love you too, more than anything." he said to her.

"Glad I could help." she winked at him, and settled back against his chest.

"Babe?" he asked, rolling her slightly on her back so he could look at her. "Will you be my touchstone, tell me when I'm pushing the line?"

She smiled, she'd asked him to do the same for her when she took the job at Secretary of State. She'd questioned herself a lot as she settled into the new role, and he was doing the same. "Of course."

He kissed her cheek and smiled, finally feeling better about the situation But he saw his last request stirred up some doubt in her eyes. "Now what about you? You okay?" he asked her again.

She pondered a moment, biting her lip as she traced circles on his chest again. "Well there's a couple things…."

"Sterling?" he asked

"Yea. And not just that he's totally wrong about everything. It's this job. It's forcing me to become a politician in order to get anything done. And I didn't want to do that."

"How so?"

"Well because of Sterling. Now that he has the President's ear, and is pushing me out, I can't do my job." she sighed. "I agreed to let Mike B pull together a binder on him, so I can turn the tables on him. I don't like playing dirty and political. But if I don't, I won't be able to affect change. And if I can't affect change, why am I in this post?"

She made valid points. "Babe, just because you get the binder doesn't mean you will use it. But he started it. Hell, maybe even Conrad started it. Deep down they know they need you. They can't win the next election without you."

She frowned. It wasn't helping her political dilemma.

He saw she wasn't 100% sold on that argument. "Ok, think of it like this. He threw the first stone. You have to fight back. Like Madeline told you."

"Okay….I'm buying that more. Thank you for being my touchstone."

"And if that still doesn't work. I'll punch his lights out." Henry said, very serious. He wasn't by any means a violent man, but when someone threatened his wife, it made his blood boil.

"Henry!" she laughed.

"I will. No one threatens you and gets away with it."

"Okay Captain, settle down."

He nodded and "Now what's else is going on?"

She looked up to meet his eyes, her eyes clouding over. "That I can't tell you. But I can tell you, it terrifies me."

Henry's eyes grew concerned as he wrapped his arms around her tightly, reading her expression. "Babe, are you safe?"

"I don't know." she said as terrifying thoughts about her airplane or the president's airplane clouded her mind. What terrified her most about it was she couldn't put it past Sterling to be somehow involved. Was he testing it on the President's plane when he was onboard? Was he going to use it to hurt her? He couldn't pinpoint a motive, but it was fishy as all get go. "And I think Sterling might have something to do with it."

Henry sighed loudly, pulling her closer. There was nothing more that he could say. They both lay there, comforted against their secret jobs only by each other's love

Note: I might continue this (depending on how long this 'rift" continues on the show. But consider it complete for now :)